


Midnight Ventures

by Rubrum_Stella



Series: Any time of the day, it's just you [1]
Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Aged-Up Character(s), Alcohol, Angst, Bars and Pubs, Casual Sex, Chaotic Good, Drama, Established Relationship, Explicit Sexual Content, Fluff, Friendship, M/M, Minor Akaashi Keiji/Bokuto Koutarou, Minor Hanamaki Takahiro/Matsukawa Issei, Minor Hinata Shouyou/Kageyama Tobio, Minor Iwaizumi Hajime/Oikawa Tooru, Minor Terushima Yuuji/Tsukishima Akiteru, Minor Yachi Hitoka/Yamaguchi Tadashi, One Night Stands, Smut, Trust Issues, Tsukishima Kei is Bad at Feelings
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-07-31
Updated: 2020-10-26
Packaged: 2021-03-06 07:27:13
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 16
Words: 102,204
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25629697
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Rubrum_Stella/pseuds/Rubrum_Stella
Summary: One night stands were not new to Tsukishima Kei but seeing Kuroo the day after their hook up was something. He expected him to vanish from his life after that night, but Kuroo lingered around and, Tsukishima found himself slowly accepting him into his life.
Relationships: Kuroo Tetsurou/Tsukishima Kei
Series: Any time of the day, it's just you [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2002573
Comments: 61
Kudos: 241





	1. Chapter 1

Tsukishima cursed the sun for the umpteenth time. He’s already in his eleventh bottle of water for the day. The heat was unfortunately intangible— Tsukishima cursed again, he badly wanted to punch it. His pale blonde hair was slightly sticking onto his skin because of sweat despite the air conditioner of the house being in the coldest temperature and it was annoying the hell out of him. It is spring for fucks sake and it’s supposed to be a little colder but the sun, oh god, Tsukishima hates the sun.

He grabbed his headphones off of him in annoyance. It was too hot and he needed to finish his last research for the semester but his focus was now on how to lessen the fucking heat. He was about to go out of his room to grab the leftover ice cream that they had a while ago when his door was opened abruptly.

“Let’s go to Indigo later,” Akaashi said with a playful grin on his face while playing with a choker on his hand in a circular motion.

“No. Too hot,” He said and the smaller man huffed in disappointment but clearly not ready to be turned down that easily. Tsukishima excused himself (not really) and made a beeline to their spacious kitchen. Akaashi followed him with heavy footsteps, ready to test his luck.

“Oh, come on, it's been a while since we went to that club!”

“We went last week,”

“Exactly. Last fucking week! I haven’t been laid since last week. I’m getting blue balls, Tsukishima!” He wanted to slap him to get him to his senses that a week without sex would definitely not lead to him getting blue balls. Instead, he breathed slowly and just proceeded to get the ice cream, completely ignoring Akaashi’s remarks.

“Hi, Tsukki!” A sweet voice from the living room called out to him and he instantly saw Yachi waving her small hand to him with vigor. She was sitting beside Yamaguchi whose eyes were glued at his phone, probably looking up on the internet for the best movie that he and his girlfriend could watch for their weekly movie date in the living room. Tsukishima acknowledged her by reciprocating the simple greeting then made his way back to his room with Akaashi still trailing behind him.

“Let's go together later, please?” Akaashi was a persistent person and Tsukishima doesn’t know if he should consider it as a good or bad trait. He looked at him with his bored eyes and took his time to think. Indigo has always been their favorite club. It's always loud but something about that certain club makes it cozy, making it the most popular club in their place.

More popular, more people, more chances of meeting good looking men.

“No, Keiji— “

“Teru!” Akaashi screamed making Tsukishima roll his eyes. With only a mere ten seconds, Terushima was already inside his room while holding a nail file. As soon as Tsukishima saw him, he already knew that his choices of answers just got cut into one— an absolute yes. Terushima was twice more persistent than Akaashi and he’s the loudest person among the four of them who live under the same roof. Tsukishima suddenly felt the need to think of the reasons why he’s friends with them again.

“What, babe?” Terushima asked. Tsukishima sat on the edge of his bed as he started eating his strawberry flavored ice cream.

"He doesn't want to go to Indigo tonight," Akaashi said with a pout then hugged Terushima sideways and rested his cheek on the shorter man's shoulder but Tsukishima saw the split-second smirk that Akaashi did. Upon hearing Akaashi's statement, Terushima ran towards Tsukishima and grabbed the bowl of ice cream from him.

"Tsukki baby, we're all going there tonight whether you like it or not," Tsukishima had seen this coming but he still tried his best to reason out himself to not go with them. Maybe if he can ask Yamaguchi for help, Akaashi and Terushima would stop annoying him because he's the only one who can stop the chaos that the two men always start but he doesn't want to spoil Yamaguchi's time with Yachi.

Their two versus one debate continued for almost an hour. Tsukishima already dropped all the reasons that he could think of starting from his research that is due on Monday that Akaashi said that he would help him out which is definitely not going to happen, down to his brother visiting him tomorrow that was quickly turned down by Terushima who said that he'll arrive by noon and that means Akiteru will not see his younger brother with a hungover.

Their bickering only ended when Yamaguchi and Yachi bid their goodbye, saying that they will have a sleepover in Yachi's place. As soon as they heard the front door closed, indicating that the couple already left, Akaashi stuck his tongue out to Tsukishima. Terushima looked at him with his hands folded over his chest. Their discussion is over and once again, Tsukishima lost.

"Fine," He huffed that made Akaashi clapped in triumph. After hearing the answer that they want from Tsukishima, the two men got out of his hair after Terushima gave the bowl of ice cream back to him, which is now melted.

Tsukishima laid down on his stomach as he thinks of what will he wear later. As much as he doesn’t want to go to the said club just like what he’s saying earlier, there’s always this weird, tingly feeling inside his chest whenever he’s in front of it. Maybe it's because of the mind-blowing loudness of the music and the people, because of their wide range of alcohol, because it makes him feel alive, and maybe if he’s lucky he can meet someone who’ll take care of his sex life. Maybe because it's his escape from reality and stress.

His door was banged at exactly 11 pm, making Tsukishima wake up from his unplanned sleep. Akaashi, all prepped up, barged inside his room and pushed Tsukishima towards the bathroom and forcefully helped him to prepare.

Tsukishima settled for a black sleeveless shirt that made Akaashi sad because he wanted Tsukishima to go all out for the night but Tsukishima insisted because of the weather, which was still undeniably hot even at night. Terushima made him bring his denim jacket that has fishnets as its sleeves. He was about to argue but then he saw that it showcased his arms perfectly. Not too showy but not too covered. Just perfect. He topped off his outfit with his tight leather pants, so tight that it almost looks like it was painted on his thighs. Terushima did his makeup but Akaashi handled the eyeliner since it was his specialty.

Tsukishima thanked them and used his car as their transportation for the night. The bar was packed, especially since it is Saturday night. Tsukishima felt giddy. Too many people, too much liveliness inside.

After paying for the cover fee, they went straight to the counter and opened up a tab individually, quickly ordering two shots of classic highball each to loosen up their nerves. As soon as the alcohol went down to his throat, Tsukishima felt ecstatic, realizing that he might’ve needed this night to unwind after a stressful week after all.

Tsukishima Kei’s alcohol intolerance has always been great and he liked it that way. He loves drinking various types and flavors of alcohol and cocktails in one night. He loves spending money on alcohol, tasting every drop of his overly priced drinks. He skimmed through the unnecessary lists of alcohol and happily decided to order a glass of strawberry gin. Akaashi fake gagged at him, expressing his building disgust to strawberry flavored foods and drinks because it seems like it’s the only thing that Tsukishima always consumes. Tsukishima just glares at him, not really bothered.

Halfway on their Bacardi and Terushima’s story of walking into his boss and a senior accountant making out in the office, a man sat beside Akaashi. He was wearing casual clothes and his golden eyes seemed to caught Akaashi’s attention right away. They started to openly flirt with each other and based on their body language, Tsukishima already knew that Akaashi will get what he wants for the night: sex.

After finishing his story and his drink, Terushima quickly stepped on the dance floor, saying that he’ll also find his own man. Akaashi and his newfound _friend_ who introduced himself as Bokuto went after Terushima after a few minutes.

Tsukishima still wanted to enjoy his sweet time with his newly ordered drink, a glass of cosmopolitan martini, therefore he decided to stay at the counter and look for more new flavors of cocktails. He asked for a glass of sex on the beach and the bartender obliged and Tsukishima saw the questioning look on the guy’s face, probably wanting to say that he should slow down. But Tsukishima doesn’t want to slow down and there’s too much money in his card for him to worry over a few thousands of yen for alcohol.

The music got louder, making Tsukishima glance at the overly packed dance floor. He saw Terushima grinding his ass on some stranger and beside him was Akaashi who was dancing with the buff man, clearly enjoying themselves. He rolled his eyes and just downed his glass of alcohol.

“A shot of whiskey, double neat, please,” Tsukishima lazily dragged his eyes to the man who occupied the seat beside him and studied his face.

_Not bad. He looks pretty decent._

Tsukishima would definitely dance with him.

“I’d like that too,” He said softly, almost like a purr, that automatically made the man look at him, then slowly coming up with a smirk. Tsukishima locked eyes with him with a smile. The man’s eyes were fascinating, especially under the glowing neon lights of the bar but his eyes looked dangerous. His gaze screamed lots of emotion, there were hungriness and something more that could be connected with uneasiness or unhappiness, making Tsukishima break their sudden staring contest because the man’s stare was a little too intoxicating.

“Put that on my tab,” The man said to the bartender who just nodded after serving their whiskeys. Tsukishima felt thirsty under the man’s gaze. Literally. He suddenly wanted to ask for water instead of just drinking the whiskey in front of him. Was it the alcohol? Was he already tipsy? But all of the alcohol that he drank shouldn’t affect him that much.

He reached for his glass and took his time drinking the free whiskey from the man beside him whose sex appeal is over the top. He can still feel his gaze. It's not uncomfortable yet Tsukishima had the urge to run away from his stares. Tsukishima was halfway on his drink when the man stood up and the next thing he knew is that he’s behind him and he can feel the man’s hot breath on the soft skin right under his ear.

Tsukishima should’ve faced the man too to make their faces closer and lock his eyes with him once again. Look at him with his signature lazy gaze then lightly bite his bottom lips after subtly licking them. He should’ve done that because that's what he’s always doing every single time a good-looking man in the bar goes to him yet all of a sudden, Tsukishima Kei was frozen in place.

His brain was not functioning. He didn’t even know if he was still breathing but everything felt fast when the man grabbed Tsukishima’s glass from his grasp and brought it towards his mouth. He wasn’t sure anymore with what's happening but his mouth instinctively opened and drank the remaining whiskey in one go. The man chuckled when Tsukishima finished his drink and then slowly put the glass back to the counter.

“Kuroo Tetsurou,” the man whispered against his ears. This time, Tsukishima finally faced the man. Their faces were only a few millimeters apart. He almost cursed. He looked so much better up closer.

“Tsukishima Kei,” He breathed against Kuroo’s mouth who now has a smirk plastered on his lips. They stared at each other for a solid five seconds, memorizing each other’s godly looks as if they’ll not see each other the next second. Tsukishima felt Kuroo’s thumb under his bottom lip to wipe a drop of whiskey and he felt his pants getting tight at the thought of licking that certain finger of Kuroo, tasting the whiskey and his skin.

“Let’s dance,” Kuroo said and Tsukishima didn’t need to be told twice. He stood up and both of them walked towards the dance floor after they closed both of their tabs.

Tsukishima saw Akaashi and Terushima with a grin on their faces from his peripheral vision. They would probably ask him tons of questions again tomorrow but Tsukishima couldn’t care less. Having Kuroo’s hands on his hips already made his brain too occupied. The way Kuroo sways along with the upbeat music while holding him with his big hands made Tsukishima’s heart thump wildly but not romantically.

He felt a couple of eyes around them. Some were looking at Tsukishima and some were glued at Kuroo. Tsukishima has always been that one person who gets almost all of the attention. His blonde hair was too hard to not notice and him looking like a deity is an understatement. His face was prettier than the girls around him and his certain lazy gaze just pulls men to him.

Kuroo, on the other hand, was a new face in the club. His black messy hair is definitely something. He was tall too and oh god, his eyes and his lips are something to die for. His suit doesn't seem to fit in the bar too. Tsukishima likes the attention being thrown to them but knowing that the other people want to prey on his dinner for tonight made him feel somewhat restless. So, he snaked his arms around Kuroo’s neck and brought him closer. Their chests were now in contact and Tsukishima could already feel the slow burn of his whole body.

The noise was lessened as they all wait for that certain beat to drop. The air felt electric with the excitement of everyone and Tsukishima felt even more relaxed when the alcohol finally, finally hits him. Tsukishima could see Kuroo staring at him the whole time as if he was excited to kiss the blonde-haired man anytime and Tsukishima was certain that Kuroo was eye-fucking him _too_ hard.

And then the beat finally dropped.

Everyone jumped in fervor and the noise tripled but Kuroo would never miss the moan that came out of Tsukishima’s lips when he grinds his hips against Tsukishima. Tsukishima was already red— both because of the alcohol and the sudden contact of their clothed cocks. He grabbed Kuroo’s head and smashed his lips against him and kissed him fully. Tsukishima opened his mouth and Kuroo gladly accepted the invite and slid his tongue inside. Their teeth slightly clashed and Kuroo couldn’t grasp the certain taste from his mouth because of the various drinks that Tsukishima had, nonetheless, he kissed him deeper. Their lips were in sync and Tsukishima almost asked him if they already met because they were kissing perfectly like they already did this thousand of times but he knew that if they did meet already, he would never forget him.

Some were watching the two gorgeous men make out and Tsukishima was more than pleased. Them devouring each other’s mouths at the center of the club would be enough for people to stop thinking of stealing Kuroo from Tsukishima and the other way around. The feeling almost felt foreign for Tsukishima because he was never this territorial with his hookups for the night. Kuroo sighed with a smile after the mind wrecking kiss before licking their mixed spit on the side of his lips.

Kuroo wants him, without a doubt, and based on the bulge on Tsukishima’s pants, he wants him too. He moved his hands up, resting it on Tsukishima’s waist as he tried to calm down. The temptation of grabbing Tsukishima’s perfect ass on his perfectly fitted leather pants was too much but he doesn’t want to touch him unless he gives him the signal to do so.

“Tetsurou,” Tsukishima whispered while grabbing a handful of Kuroo’s hair softly. Kuroo almost cursed when he realized that Tsukishima’s voice is literally setting him on fire. The blonde was dangerous in many ways. Kuroo pulled him even closer, not caring about Tsukishima’s personal space because heck, all he wanted to do is kiss him all night.

“I want to kiss you,” He spilled recklessly and was about to curse himself when he saw Tsukishima’s iris double in size. His eyes became even more beauteous that it almost looks like it's sparkling in anticipation like he really wanted to kiss Kuroo too.

“I’m waiting,” Tsukishima said with a faint smile. Kuroo didn’t know what to feel when Tsukishima closed his eyes and leaned closer to him, clearly ready to kiss him and give him what he wants. His heart was beating erratically as Tsukishima’s face slowly moves closer to his. He wanted to kiss him too right now but he also knew that his patience just reached its limit. Instead of kissing him, he placed his index finger on Tsukishima’s lips making the blonde open his eyes in shock.

“My house is quite far,” Kuroo might’ve been getting ahead of himself but he was quite certain that this is where it's going to end. He doesn’t want to prolong the inevitable with Tsukishima Kei.

Tsukishima was stilled for a moment. He knew that Kuroo was implying to go to his house instead but Tsukishima never ever brought a one-night stand to his house. It always ends up in a hotel nearby or in his one-night stand’s car but _never_ in his house.

He stared at Kuroo for a few seconds, his mind still in haywire. He wants him too and his half-hard cock seems to counter his thinking that he can’t bring Kuroo home. He always believed that one-night stands are just one-night stands. Nothing more, nothing less and there’s no reason for them to know where he lives but when his eyes locked with Kuroo’s, his belief was already shattering.

“Mine’s close,” Tsukishima saw Kuroo bit his lower lip for a second before walking out of the bar, dragging Tsukishima along by his wrist. Upon arriving at the parking lot, Tsukishima led the way to his car because asking Kuroo if he has a car and he actually doesn’t have one would be too awkward. Terushima and Akaashi wouldn’t need a ride home anyways.

The ride towards Tsukishima’s home only took them roughly ten minutes and both of them couldn’t be happier. No one said a word since they got inside the car because there nothing to talk about, to begin with. Knowing their names were already enough. It's not like they’re friends or something. They’re just two strangers who met in the club and are about to fuck. 

Nervousness crept in Tsukishima’s veins as he grabbed his house keys. He can’t help but think about how they would continue the mood between them earlier. What if everything will feel awkward that they’ll just end up sitting on his bed apart and just stare at each other and ask where did their parents get their name from?

“Dainty,” Kuroo said as soon as the door was opened. The enormous geometric chandelier was the first thing that he noticed. There were small plants carefully placed in some parts of the living room and the gigantic cream-colored couch along with the yellow and lilac throw pillows looked cozy. Kuroo couldn’t list all of them but everything about this house screamed wealth.

“Oh, really?” Tsukishima let out a soft chuckle. It’s been a while since someone commented on how their house looks like. The four of them don’t really let other people come into the house because it’s what Tsukishima wants. Yachi is the only person who visits them regularly because she and Yamaguchi always hang out. 

“But shit, Tsukishima Kei,” Kuroo walked towards him, making Tsukishima step backward, his back being pressed on the white wall. Tsukishima couldn’t understand himself. When did he ever felt nervous by just bring cornered by a man? Was it because of the heavenly sensation that he felt when Kuroo licked his ear, “You’re so beautiful,”

Their lips smashed with each other in a split second. Kuroo’s hands were glued on Tsukishima’s ass, griping it harder than Tsukishima expected. Kuroo’s tongue dipped inside the blonde’s mouth, licking every place that he can reach. Tsukishima felt his breath being taken away, he shut his eyes even more and let himself be blown away by their little venture.

Kuroo pulled away from the kiss and removed Tsukishima’s jacket with ease before removing his tie and coat that made Tsukishima swore in delight. He secretly thanked Kuroo for coming into the club wearing a suit.

“Damn, Tetsurou,” Tsukishima said that earned a chuckle from Kuroo. He liked the way his name rolls out of Tsukishima’s tongue. Oh God, he _loves_ Kei’s tongue.

“I want you naked, Kei,” Kuroo growled. Tsukishima grinned at his impatience and leaned dangerously close to Kuroo while resting his hands on Kuroo’s chest.

“Carry me, Tetsu,” Tsukishima almost yelped when Kuroo did. Their chests were pressed against each other’s and Tsukishima’s legs were snaked around Kuroo’s waist. He could see how Kuroo’s arms flex through his white long sleeves and he thought that he could stare at it for a few more minutes but then Kuroo’s neck was in front of him. He kissed Kuroo’s neck as soon as the dark-haired man started to walk while groaning. Tsukishima played with Kuroo’s sensitive neck with his teeth while giving vague directions to where his room is.

Kuroo was bad at directions but they reached Tsukishima’s bedroom within a minute with his cock already achingly hard because of the thought of fucking Tsukishima along with the numerous licks and kisses that the blonde did on his neck. He put Tsukishima on his bed, hovering him and kissing him again. Tsukishima’s hands made their way to unbutton Kuroo’s clothes with their lips still connected. They were kissing too much but Tsukishima couldn’t care less. He _liked_ it.

Kuroo was easily undressed and Tsukishima almost awed at his body. He ran his fingertips through his chest, abs, and down to his navel. He heard Kuroo hissed that made him grin even more. Tsukishima was about to tease him more but was stopped when Kuroo pinched his nipple through his shirt. A moan escaped his lips that made Kuroo smile in victory.

Kuroo was quick to remove Tsukishima’s shirt in one swift motion while Tsukishima undid his slacks. Kuroo loved Tsukishima’s leather pants but it was too hard to remove. He can’t wait anymore. He needed more skin, more heat. He needed more of Tsukishima.

“What—“ Tsukishima said, completely surprised when Kuroo ripped his leather pants.

“I’ll pay for it,” Tsukishima bit his lip as he watched Kuroo thoroughly rip his pants off of him. As soon as Kuroo was able to see Tsukishima’s thighs, he felt himself salivating. He started to plant soft kisses on his knees, slowly making his way to Tsukishima’s inner thighs.

He sucked and left a pinkish bruise that made the latter whimper. He could already see the stain on Tsukishima’s boxer. He himself was already soaked but he decided that Tsukishima is his priority. He could have his own fun later.

Kuroo palmed him that earned a moan from Tsukishima. Kuroo watched him as he continuously palms the blonde’s clothed cock. Tsukishima looked unbelievably beautiful that Kuroo just wants to watch him forever.

“I can’t wait forever— _ah_... Tetsurou, _please_ ,” Kuroo was actually shocked that he didn’t come with that. He quickly obliged him, dropping on his knees, removing Tsukishima’s boxer, and admiring him even more. It was pink and glistening and hard. His own cock twitched at the sight.

Kuroo wrapped his hand around Tsukishima’s length while his other hand was busy spreading the blonde more, testing his flexibility. Kuroo’s pace was agonizingly slow and it made Tsukishima go crazy as seconds pass by. Slowly, up and down his hand went. Tsukishima’s cock was already dripping, his own precum making it slicker. But it wasn’t enough.

He was about to complain and command Kuroo to go faster when he felt a pair of pink lips envelope his cock. Kuroo was fucking blowing him. He threw his head back in pleasure when Kuroo sucked on the head and proceeded to lick a stripe up. His mind went black when Kuroo fondled his balls.

Kuroo surely knew how to use his mouth. He sucked harder, hollowing his cheeks more and bobbing his head faster. The taste of Tsukishima encourages him to take him more and deeper. He relaxed his throat and pushed his head down further.

_Holy fuck_

Tsukishima jerked his hips upwards absentmindedly and shuddered in pleasure. The back of Kuroo’s throat was something that Tsukishima released a wanton moan. Kuroo went faster and was flicking the tip of his tongue on the underside of the flushed head occasionally. Tsukishima felt the familiar pressure building in his stomach making him grip Kuroo’s hair.

“Ah fuck... T-Tetsu, I’m close,” He warned but Kuroo didn’t stop, instead, he took him balls deep that he almost gagged but hearing Tsukishima become a moaning mess was worth it. Tsukishima’s grip became tighter. With a few more up and down movements of Kuroo’s lips around his cock, Tsukishima came hard while moaning Kuroo’s name.

Kuroo felt the hot liquid on his throat and managed to swallow every drop that he can. He released Tsukishima with a soft pop and pumped him as help Tsukishima rode the last of his orgasm. Tsukishima’s eyes were already half-lidded but Kuroo was just starting. He hovered him once again and pinched Tsukishima’s nipple that made the blonde moan, his body still sensitive from his orgasm, but Kuroo didn’t care. He wanted his fun to start now.

“Oh God,” Tsukishima breathed when Kuroo sucked on his nipple while pinching the other. His hands automatically flew to Kuroo’s hair while biting his lips, trying to suppress his loud moans.

“You’re so fucking beautiful, Kei,” Kuroo said and repeated it many times like a chant for a deity. Tsukishima could only moan as his hands wander around Kuroo’s nicely muscled shoulders and arms. He was nicely chiseled and his mouth felt really good. Kei needed more of him. “Tell me what you want,”

“Please, Tetsurou,” Tsukishima didn’t care if he sounded so needy. He wants him. Right here, right now.

“What baby?” Tsukishima almost whined when Kuroo stopped licking his nipple. Kuroo looked at him, their faces now leveled. Tsukishima didn’t know why but he reached Kuroo’s face and whispered,

“You, Kuroo Tetsurou. You,” Satisfied with the answer, Kuroo placed a chaste kiss on the blonde's lips. Tsukishima reached for his nightstand, opened the second drawer, and grabbed the half-empty bottle of lube but before he could open it, Kuroo's middle finger was already on his lips, waiting to be sucked. Tsukishima smirked and dipped his head onto Kuroo's finger with vigor. Thoroughly coating it with his saliva.

Kuroo grunted at how Tsukishima sucks his finger so well and wondered how would his mouth feel around his cock. While Tsukishima was busy with his finger, he slipped off of his boxers and grabbed his slacks, fumbling the back pocket to get his wallet. And there it was, a blue foil packet, ready to be used.

"Enough, baby," Kuroo said and Tsukishima quickly complied and released Kuroo's finger. Kuroo kissed him once again as his hand touched every part of Kuroo's torso that he could reach. "Turn around,"

Tsukishima's cock was starting to get hard again because of the excitement. He turned around, both his knees and shoulders, along with his right cheek pressed on the bed. Kuroo gulped at the sight. He gave Tsukishima's butt cheeks a few sensual rubs. He was fantasizing about his ass the first time that he laid his eyes on him and now, he's been allowed to look at it, hold it, and heck, he's about to fuck it in a few minutes. Kuroo felt lucky.

The blonde gasped when Kuroo slowly inserted his finger. The pain was more evident since it’s been a week since he had sex or fingered himself. But when Kuroo started to push his finger in and out, Tsukishima felt undeniably great. Pain and pleasure were being inserted into him along with the thrusts of Kuroo's finger.

He moaned loudly when Kuroo added another finger, now with the help of the copious amount of lube, stretching him and scissoring him nice and fast. He gripped on the sheets tightly when he felt the fingers inside him curl and twist.

"Fuck! t-there.. right, _ngh_ there," Kuroo smirked when Tsukishima almost withered under his touch.

"Oh, really? Here?" Kuroo drives his finger back but purposely missing the spot. Tsukishima whined and shot a glare at him, his heels digging on the mattress because of disappointment and that's when he realized that he still hasn't removed his eyeglasses. He can't believe himself that he was too immersed in what's happening that he actually forgot to remove his important glasses.

He reached for his glasses in an attempt to remove it and put in on his nightstand but Kuroo stopped him. His eyes looked feral and hungry. Tsukishima suddenly felt small.

"Don't remove them. I'd like to fuck you in those," Kuroo's voice was raspy and it sounded so sexy to Tsukishima's ears.

"B-but it'll break," He stuttered, in time with Kuroo's suddenly fast pace, his fingers hardly going out then ramming it again inside. Hard, fast, wet.

“Oh,” Kuroo chuckled, "You'll be the one who'll get broken," His pace gets quicker, Tsukishima moaned, even more, his forearm slowly burns but it was all worth it. Seeing Tsukishima shudders while screaming his name was all he needed. It was almost enough to make him come in his boxers.

Tsukishima felt it again. His stomach was burning again. His insides felt messed up. His cock was pulsating, begging to be touched, begging to cum once again. He was already near and Kuroo knew it. His other hand grabbed the condom and slipped it down on his length and also smeared his cock with the lube.

"Tetsu!" Tsukishima screamed angrily when Kuroo withdrew his fingers just when he was about to come. Kuroo grinned upon seeing Tsukishima's eyebrows furrowing. He aligned himself at Tsukishima's entrance and slowly pushed himself inside.

Tsukishima's bitchy face was completely erased and was replaced with the sexiest facial expression that Kuroo ever saw. His mouth was hanging open, eyes half-lidded, lips glistened with both of his and Kuroo's spit.

"You feel..." Kuroo wanted to finish his sentence and say that he feels amazing but words can't seem to form in his mind. Tsukishima felt hot and tight that it almost felt unworldly. Kuroo grunted and was tempted to just shove himself in completely but he saw Tsukishima deeply breathed, still adjusting with Kuroo's girth. He wanted to see his face, he wanted to see how Tsukishima's face would react with his thrusts.

Kuroo retreated his length and helped Tsukishima to change their position. Tsukishima moved and straddled Kuroo and both of them moaned at the contact of his and Kuroo's cock. Seeing Kuroo from the side of his eyes and seeing him now fully was truly different. Kuroo's skin was perfectly covered in sweat and Tsukishima couldn't help but trace his chiseled chest. After a few more deep breaths, Tsukishima held Kuroo's length and aligned it with his entrance once again.

"Here I go —oh fuck," Tsukishima sank onto Kuroo's cock and threw his head towards Kuroo's chest. A growl left Kuroo's mouth when Tsukishima pushed himself deeper on his cock.

Too much but both of them wanted more.

" _Kei, Kei, Kei_ ," Kuroo breathed as he kissed Tsukishima's throat and left a couple of hickeys. He wanted to ease the pain away by touching and kissing the places that he discovered that made Tsukishima moaning.

True enough, Tsukishima's pain flew away and it was replaced with pleasure that made him whimpering and moaning. He slowly rose up and pushed himself down. Kuroo felt huge and he couldn't deny it. He leaned and connected their lips again, which was hardly a kiss, it was just their tongues touching and tasting each other.

Tsukishima bit his lip and started to ride Kuroo faster. He felt like fainting because of pleasure but Kuroo guided him by holding his hips, his fingers digging on the flesh a little too tight.

He moaned before biting Kuroo's shoulder to muffle his moans that were getting louder every second. Tsuksihima was riding him erratically, his rhythm slowly getting messed up as his cock bobs along with his downward thrusts. "Tetsu— I'm close... ah," He slurred, his vision really blurring now.

"Okay, baby, come for me," Encouraged, Tsukishima rode him harder and with earnest, he was breathless with his skin tingling too much. Kuroo dragged his tongue across Tsukishima's chest and as soon as his tongue met the blonde's nipple, Tsukishima came untouched, coating both of their stomachs in cum. Kuroo groaned loudly when Tsukishima clenched around him. The pressure was insanely good, too good, and too wet.

Tsukishima's breathing was ragged, his skin was sweltering. The air felt electric and thrilling. They were quiet for a while but then Kuroo started to thrust upwards. Tsukishima literally screamed in shock, his eyes rolling at the back of his head.

"Too much... please stop.. ugh, f-fuck,"

"Stop? But I haven't come yet, Kei," Kuroo's thrusts were strong and deep. He stared at Tsukishima's neck and chest, now painted with different shades of purple and pink, and looking at how Tsukishima looks as he rams into him, Kuroo couldn't help but feel proud. He wrapped his hand on Tsukishima's neglected cock and moved it in sync with his thrusts.

Contrary to what Tsukishima was saying earlier, he started to plead, " _More_ , Tetsu... please, please," Tsukishima thought that he was about to faint because of pleasure. He just came twice yet Kuroo was still thrusting into him. He was being fucked into oblivion and it felt so so good. Kuroo was driving him insane.

"Kei, you feel so good. You- ah... so majestic. The way you clench— oh God," Kuroo said as Tsukishima muttered incoherent words. Lewd moans coming out of his pretty pink lips. Both of them were in pure bliss, close to the edge but still burning with desire and lust.

Tsukishima didn't know that it was possible. He already came twice and it was already too much for him but then he came hard once again. Kuroo's eyes doubled in size as he watched Tsukishima close his eyes, already burnt out from orgasming thrice. Kuroo chased his pleasure. Thrusting into him in fervor, rolling his hips deeper, the sound of their skin slapping against each other became louder.

"Fuck, fuck, fuck, _Kei_ ," Kuroo said continuously when he came. A plethora of curses and praise to Tsukishima were the only words that he said. Tsukishima rested his head on Kuroo's shoulder and both of them tried to catch their breath.

"I'm fucking broken, Tetsu," Tsukishima said with a chuckle. Kuroo pulled out carefully and caressed his soft blonde locks after shifting their position, Tsukishima now under him.

"But your glasses aren't,"


	2. Chapter 2

Tsukishima squirmed in his sleep and grunted when a certain pain jolt in his lower back. The sun is already up, giving the unnecessary excessive heat for the whole day. He squirms again, finding the best position to at least ease the pain when he felt something weird.

He was expecting to feel sticky and gross, still covered in spit and cum on his stomach and chest but he was clean. There was no trace of the wild sex that happened inside the room, even his literally ripped leather pants were neatly folded on the small couch in his room.

Tsukishima closed his eyes again and let a faint smile creep on his lips. Last night was incredible. Kuroo surpassed all of his expectations. He was the first person who made him cum three times consecutively and Tsukishima never felt like ascending into heaven while having sex. It was definitely tiring and its aftermath is slowly killing his lower back but _damn_ , it was worth it.

Unable to fall back to sleep again, Tsukishima sat and took his time to brace himself for the upcoming pain when he stands up. It felt like hell. He almost stumbled upon going into his bathroom but the warm water made him feel a lot better. He let himself relax in the tub for twenty minutes, still short but he needed to get ready quickly because he just learned that his brother is already downstairs after checking his phone.

As soon as he opened his door, a roar of laughter welcomed him. That was without a doubt, Terushima and Akiteru along with Akaashi who’s currently telling a funny story based on what he’s hearing. His steps were small and careful down the stairs. Broken ribs and ankles were definitely not in his plan before finally graduating college.

"Oh, oh, I need to tell you this while Tsukki's still asleep!" Yamaguchi joined the conversation and Tsukishima knew that it’s not a good thing. For some reason, Yamaguchi is the only person with him whenever he accidentally does embarrassing things. Yamaguchi never told anyone though because Tsukishima would quickly glare at him and threaten his life. So, Yamaguchi spilling their petty little secrets would be too dangerous.

Tsukishima wanted to scream and stop Yamaguchi but his foot slipped and in just a few seconds Tsukishima Kei reached the first floor, butt first. The ruckus was too attention-seeking that as soon as Tsukishima stopped bouncing on the stairs, people were already in front of him. Akaashi, Terushima, and Akiteru were on the verge of laughing, while Yamaguchi and Kuroo looked worried.

"See? So clumsy," Terushima laughed along with Akaashi as he used Akiteru as support from falling because of too much jubilation. The blonde wanted to grab their throats out of them.

"Are you okay, Tsukki?" Yamaguchi helped him to stand slowly but he needed to bite the insides of his cheeks to stop himself from whimpering because of his lower back. He was able to stand just normal and relief washed over him that he doesn't feel any broken bones yet the person in front of him besides his friends and brother made him forget that he was somewhat relieved.

His eyes darted at Kuroo who was still looking at him with such worry. He tried to shift his gaze away from him but Kuroo looked like a different person with all the fluorescents that were not neon. He was once again wearing the long sleeves that Tsukishima removed from him last night. His hair was still the same, still the same bed hair, messy and foolish but attractive.

Yamaguchi had to snap his fingers in front of him to stop himself from looking at Kuroo like he's some criminal. He forced a small chuckle as Yamaguchi help him walk towards their couch. Akiteru was imitating his walk while making unnecessary noise, Akaashi was acting like Yamaguchi, and Terushima... was acting like just another Yamaguchi, just _a little too close_ to Akiteru. Tsukishima showered them with curses loudly but stopped when a woman stood in front of her with a rubber spatula in her hand.

"Why are you here?" Tsukishima didn't want to sound mean but him being surprised seeing his mother who did not say anything about visiting him was an understatement. Her eyes creased in time with her smile before hugging her son. Tsukishima hugged her back despite his shock. She was a lot smaller than him but she hugs like a kid, very tight that Tsukishima felt like dying because her arms were around his waist, dangerously close to his lower back.

"The house is boring with just Pretzel and me so I asked Akiteru if I can go with him," Tsukishima squinted his eyes at her when he sat at the couch, half his attention still locked on Kuroo whom he's looking at through his peripheral vision.

"Where's Pretzel then?" Tsukishima looked at his surrounding, finding Pretzel and purposely disregarding Kuroo's presence. Pretzel was his childhood friend, a female Border Collie, who is roughly his age. Akiteru was her original owner since he bought her from his classmate when he was in sixth grade but Pretzel doesn't seem to like him more than Kei. In the end, Kei was the one who raised her and the one that became her favorite human.

"Well, the vet advised that she should not engage in long trips for now so she's in your aunt’s house," Tsukishima wanted to groan in despair. He hasn't seen his dog for almost six months now but he needed to understand. The dog was already old and she needed to get all the rest that she needs even though Tsukishima already wants to see her. "Come on now, I'm here, Kei! And look, I'm baking strawberry shortcake cookies and Kuroo-kun here is helping me,"

Oh, so that's why Kuroo's sleeves were rolled up to his forearms.

"Hey," Kuroo said shyly then nodded at him. Tsukishima felt horrible even though he didn't know why. He nodded back, unable to process what's happening. Was it his family's fault because they arrived earlier than expected or was it Kuroo's fault for not leaving early? Or worse, was it his own fault that he brought him in his house and he was the one who let all of these things to happen?

His mom planted a soft kiss on his hair and went back to the kitchen, yelling Kuroo's name to ask him for help which the man quickly did. Tsukishima didn't know if he should feel happy now that's Kuroo was not in front of him or if he should feel worse because he's there in the kitchen with his mother and he clearly knows that his mother can overstep some boundaries with her endless questions.

"Kei! I missed you!" Akiteru shouted right on his ear and wrapped his arms around his shoulder, hugging him from behind the couch. He just looked at nothing as he waits for Akiteru to get tired of his childishness. Kei already tried to squirm and remove his brother's arms from him countless times in the past but he never succeeded in making him stop so the only solution that he came up with is to let him be.

"Well, I didn't," He replied but it only led to Akiteru shaking him so bad that it made him feel dizzy, quite close to seeing stars floating above him. After a minute, Akiteru sat at the seat in front of him, finally satisfied with messing up Kei. He heard his friends go to the kitchen to watch his mother and Kuroo bake, leaving the two go have their own private time that they don't really need.

"Don’t be shy, I know you do,” Akiteru grinned. “Is that your new friend?" Tsukishima shifted in his seat at his question but still tried his best to put on a normal expression which Akaashi call as _the look-at-me-and-I'll-kill-you_ face. He was great at hiding his real emotions from other people but Akiteru was not just some other people. Akiteru can read him easily like a simple paragraph from a textbook of a grade school kid. "Your boyfriend then,"

"What? No!" Maybe rising his voice was not really the best thing to do. It just made him look like a fool. Akiteru smugly smiled while looking at him, clearly amused that his brother could actually blush even if it’s just faint. He was about to tease his younger brother about it when the three other people who live in the house ran towards the living room while laughing.

"You're so dumb, Yamaguchi," Akaashi said while the three of them were wiping bits of whipping cream off of them— Akaashi had them on his sweater, Terushima had some on his hair but Yamaguchi had almost a spoonful of cream on his left cheek. This always happens whenever Tsukishima's Mom, Asami, is in their house. It’s nothing to be surprised about.

Asami loves to bake which resulted in her youngest son being addicted to different sorts of desserts and pastries. Her attitude was easy to blend with too making her the Mom who is popular within the groups of friends of Akiteru and Kei for being nice. She easily became friends with her sons' friends, especially Kei's friends since she has known them ever since they're high school students. But they tend to forcefully involve themselves whenever she's baking and every time that that happens, she tries to fend them off by throwing what's closest to her. It always ends up with Yamaguchi, Akaashi, and Terushima with chocolate sauce, sometimes a batter mixture, or just like now, whipped cream staining their clothes.

Tsukishima looked at them like they disappointed him once again but the three didn't mind. Tsukishima always looks at them like that since they all first met him. His glare doesn't even work at them anymore, now happily immune from his deadly glares.

"That's his one night stand," Terushima said, his voice firm and annoying like he's saying a fact while nodding his head. Akaashi nodded too, leaving Yamaguchi dumbfounded. Akiteru had his eyes widened, not believing the words that he just heard.

"Oh my god, Yuuji!" Tsukishima shouted, making Terushima laugh out loud. They watched Tsukishima as he pushes Akiteru towards the kitchen and forced him to help their mother to bake. Akiteru was not having any of his brother's excuses but Tsukishima really pushed him away which is something that he doesn’t normally do unless he's really mad or embarrassed. He didn't want to push the topic anymore and just let himself be pushed into the kitchen where his mother and his brother's one night stand currently bakes.

Tsukishima spat curses directly at his friend who has an excessive amount of piercings but Terushima just stuck his tongue out on him. Yamaguchi quickly asked Tsukishima if the guy was really just someone that he met and slept with. Yamaguchi thought that he was some of Tsukishima's few other friends besides their circle— not that Tsukishima really have them since he’s literally friendless without them. Tsukishima just answered him with a curt yes that made his face flush red.

Yamaguchi never really had a problem knowing that his friends-slash-housemates often do one night stands as long as they practice safe sex. But Yamaguchi never met even a single person that they had sex with and it’s what makes him slightly uncomfortable. The fact that he's just one step away from _accidentally_ imagining the horrid images in his head is not making any sense.

Terushima and Akaashi laughed at him instinctively. Yamaguchi just huffed and shook his head aggressively, trying to erase the slowly building image in his head with too much effort. Tsukishima was just rolling his eyes at them as he watches his friends tease Yamaguchi for being too pure for this house.

"I wasn't able to fuck last night," Terushima said with a pout as he tried to lean on Tsukishima which the latter quickly dodge but Terushima slapped his back and forced himself to lean on the taller guy's shoulder.

"That's a relief then. No one made a mistake last night," Tsukishima said and it earned him another slap from Terushima and another soft giggle from Yamaguchi. Akaashi and Yamaguchi settled themselves on the other side of the couch. Yamaguchi was already lying, his head on Akaashi's lap while Akaashi plays with his hair.

This has always been what they look like every weekend. Akaashi and Yamaguchi cuddled in the corner of the couch and Terushima just contently leaning his head- sometimes his whole torso on Tsukishima as they all talk about what happened to their lives for the past week. It would always be full of Akaashi's rant about the countless mistakes of the people working on his cafe (not technically his since it's their family's but he's the one handling it), Terushima's problem with his boss who gives him too much work, almost double than the others (probably because of his smart mouth), Yamaguchi's constant complaining about being tired of studying and reading textbooks, and Tsukishima just laughing at them and making fun of their misery.

"Yachi's Mom made us some hotpot and we watched all the movies of The Little Mermaid," Yamaguchi said, his feet slightly came off of the couch with excitement to share what happened last night.

"I'm sorry to break it to you, Dashi baby but she hates you," Akaashi said with his faux sad voice making Yamaguchi furrow his eyebrows.

"I mean, who the fuck eats hotpot in summer?" Tsukishima added with Terushima nodding after his sentence.

"It's not summer,"

"It’s hot so, same thing,"

"Shut up, Tsukki. No one loves you," Yamaguchi voiced out with a cocky tone. Tsukishima stared at him, mouth slightly open, looking like he just saw a ghost face to face. Terushima rejoiced and made some annoying whale sounds while Akaashi praised Yamaguchi and soon after, joined Terushima and shouted hundreds of _'boo'_ at Tsukishima.

Yamaguchi has been his longest friend now, and them being together for almost 24/7 somehow influenced Yamaguchi to speak like Tsukishima when he needed to, especially when Tsukishima makes fun of him. He never uses it to anybody, not even Terushima, and Akaashi which makes the two happier because it’s just Kei that he's bullying.

"Gosh, that was horrible and amusing at the same time, Dashi. You're getting better!" Akaashi patted Yamaguchi as he wipes the sides of his damp eyes from too much laughing because Tsukishima's face was _gold_.

Their topic swerved and Yamaguchi's snarky remark was suddenly five topics away from their new one. This time, Akaashi sat straight, ready to spill the beans. He playfully wiggled his eyebrows at them with a perky smile.

"Remember Bokuto?" Tsukishima nodded but he doesn't really remember him and it's not like he's supposed to remember who Akaashi sleeps with. "Well guess what, he made me cum twice,"

Terushima's eyes were suddenly filled with sparkles as he ran towards Akaashi and hugged him, squishing Yamaguchi's face in the process while congratulating him. Tsukishima never understood them whenever they act like this. Sure, sex is great but Terushima and Akaashi were on some other level, acting like they're about to die when a week has passed and they still haven't had an orgasm because jerking off alone doesn't really count on their part. They always act like they're sex-deprived but Tsukishima still loves them— but of course, he would never admit that in front of them because that’d be so _cheesy._

"Holy shit, Tsukki, your Mom met your one nightstand! It just finally sank into my brain," Yamaguchi said with his eyes doubling its size. Ah fuck. Tsukishima completely forgot about that. He clearly forgot that Kuroo was there in the kitchen, with his family, baking with them like they've known each other for years now.

"How was he in bed though? He looked like a lost puppy when he went downstairs earlier," Tsukishima just looked at them absentmindedly with just Kuroo all in his mind. He needed to do something to get him out of the house as soon as possible. His family and friends would be too much and the fact that he's interacting with them in a great manner is already embarrassing. Kuroo didn't sign up for this and Tsukishima really feels bad. He came here for sex, not to meet new people.

The conversation continued without Tsukishima joining. They were all making assumptions about Kuroo. Commenting on how virile he looks but then countering it with how scared he looked when he saw Tsukishima's friends when he was about to leave. The three men were also shocked to see an unknown person in the house earlier but thanks to Akaashi's good memory, he was able to remember that he was the guy that Tsukishima was dancing with last night.

A cacophony roared in the living room when Terushima said that Kuroo looks immensely hot but he looks like someone who could only do a single round. Akaashi shrugged his shoulders, quite agreeing with the cropped blonde-haired man. Yamaguchi was quiet, just contented with hearing his friends talk happily yet weirded out with their conversation because Tsukishima was just right in front of them and Kuroo was just quite a few meters away from them.

"God, please stop, he might hear you," Tsukishima groaned but it certainly did not stop the two. There are times that he just wants to grab a duct tape from the room beside the bathroom on the first floor which they call the random stuff room and shroud it around Akaashi and Terushima's mouth. Their behavior is out of the world. Crazy merry with their sassy attitude, mouths blabbering all the time about random things, voice loud as hell, and Tsukishima just wanted some quiet times sometimes.

"For fucks sake! He was great, okay? I came thrice, it was the best fuck of my life," His face and neck were red, not really sure if it's because of embarrassment because this was the first time that he shared something to them regarding his sex life or maybe he's annoyed and worried at the same time because his family and importantly, Kuroo hear them.

"No shit, Kei?" Akaashi said, his face painted with shock.

"Woah, that's a lot," Yamaguchi commented quietly. Tsukishima ran his hands on his hair and took a deep breath when they asked tons of questions again. At first, Tsukishima was just glaring at them and trying to shut their mouths but then Akaashi negotiated that if he answered all of their questions then they will make breakfast and treat him like a princess (Tsukishima said 'fuck you, Keiji') for a week. Tsukishima, desperate for some kind of peace in his life, agreed with a heavy heart.

Rustles of pans and non-stick stainless baking trays were heard from the kitchen, in time with the giggles and snarls from the living room. Both of the groups were having fun in their own ways. Asami restrained herself from asking too many personal questions to Kuroo when Akiteru told her that he's just Kei's new friend so they should be gentle with him. Akiteru hums and engages in their conversation about different types of honey and the fruits that are in season right now. Kuroo was knowledgeable and it was making Asami more blabby, curious up to how far can the young man keep up with her.

Akiteru glances at Kuroo in secret, still can't comprehend that he is his brother's one nightstand. He's not disappointed nor angry with that, just genuinely flustered. Kei is already an adult, he's about to graduate and he knew that Kei's careful. He knows what he's doing but this was new for Akiteru. He never thought that Kei would engage himself with strangers in a very intimate way. He's private and quiet and timid all the time, especially around people that he doesn't know by heart. Kei was shy as a clam from what he remembers.

"Kuroo, honey, can you please bring this to the table?" Asami said and Kuroo quickly complied. He grabbed the bowls of donburi and placed it on a tray before going into the dining room and placing it nicely in front of each seat. Akiteru did the same thing as he brought out the side dishes along with Asami's popular tonjiru. He went back to the kitchen to get the chopsticks. He counted the people in the house in his head and as soon as he figured that they're seven he grabbed what he needed. He was walking back to the kitchen when the reality hit him harder than it did two hours ago.

He's about to eat lunch with six strangers, well not really strangers-strangers, because he already knew their names but still, Kuroo doesn't know them, and yet he's here, helping in arranging the table for lunch. Kuroo knew that he's great with people since he’s been labeled as a social butterfly, has always been and will always be. Talking to other people is not hard but that certain blonde tall man named Tsukishima Kei makes his brain fuzzy. Suddenly, he doesn't know how to communicate. Suddenly, words were just tied on the edge of his tongue.

"That's too much, Teru. I don't want to answer that," The voice came from the living room and Kuroo didn't stop himself from peeking. There, he saw the four men, huddled together on the sofa, bodies squished against each other like they're telling their deepest secrets. They grimaced in disappointment but Tsukishima just continued to shake his head.

Kuroo felt silly as milliseconds pass by making him retreat back to the dining room and collecting himself before placing the chopsticks next to the bowls. Asami called the people in the living room for lunch, and Kuroo readied himself from Tsukishima's presence. Akaashi came first with Yamaguchi behind him whose face is literally red. Akiteru and Asami came in too, both of them sat at each of the ends of the table, and lastly, Tsukishima came in with an expression that Kuroo can't describe. Terushima was continuously saying something. Kuroo thought that it might still be the question earlier. He kind of wished that he heard what could that question be.

It was a six-seater marble table but they were seven. Kuroo just felt more out of place. He wanted to go out and just go home. It was like the table was really built for the six of them. He cursed his existence for enjoying the warm water for 5 minutes in the bathroom when he woke up. If only he moved faster, then he would not be tangled into this small reunion.

But then, he would not be able to bake for the first time this spring and exchange knowledge with Asami. He would not be able to see Kei almost limping because of him last night. He would not be able to see him in a well-lit room and see his hazel orbs becoming lighter when the sunlight from the kitchen window, flowed over his eyes. He would not be able to see how pale his skin is or how blonde his hair really is. Kuroo can't help but to smile and conclude that it’s worth it even though he could still feel Akiteru boring holes on his back.

Tsukishima and Kuroo were the only ones standing in front of the chair and when the blonde's arm brushed against his, Kuroo almost flinched at the contact.

"You can have the chair," Tsukishima said, his voice almost sounded robotic. Kuroo was about to say no but then Tsukishima went out of the dining room to grab a stool. He placed it beside Akaashi and sat comfortably. Kuroo did the same, awkwardness still creeping out from his skin. He wanted to just smash his head onto the table. Awkward. _Awkward._

The lunch was great, Asami was a good cook. Akaashi told everyone the incident that happened when Terushima and him went to Indigo last month. Terushima drank way too much and Akaashi wasn't able to keep it on track because he was busy dancing with a guy (he didn't mention the guy). While dancing, Akaashi heard a ruckus near the counter and saw the bartender and Terushima fighting. He went to them and was ready to punch the bartender when he saw what it was all about.

Terushima was stripping and it made everyone at the table laugh. Terushima was just rolling his eyes because of embarrassment so he tried to swerve the topic from him to Kuroo. 30 minutes into the lunch, Kuroo was already a natural member of the group. Everyone was laughing at the hilarious happenings that Akaashi was telling. Starting from when Kei held the pan without a potholder, thinking that it is not that hot but it wasn't. It leads to a nail sized blister on his thumb that lasted for a week.

Kei secretly kicked him under the table to stop his stories because Kuroo was listening. He didn't know why he was so insecure with Kuroo hearing some of his embarrassing moments. Oh well, because he's a stranger and right after what happened last night, they should have never seen each other again and yet he's here, eating lunch with him and by the looks of it, his friends and Mom are already comfortable with him.

As an act of revenge from earlier, Terushima told everyone the time when Akaashi tripped on his own toe in the cafe when he's about to serve the tall glasses of caramel macchiato. Akaashi spilled everything and he landed on his chest. It must've hurt but when Terushima saw it, he laughed uncontrollably, not caring about what the others would think because Akaashi embarrassing himself is too good and rare to be true.

For the dessert, Akiteru went into the kitchen to get the cookies that they baked. Tsukishima's heart pounded excitedly when he smelled the strawberries on the cookie. Akaashi blabbered about hating strawberries once again because of Tsukishima's excessive intake of the fruit. Yamaguchi just chuckled and took three cookies and placed it on Kei's plate. He thanked him and Tsukishima proceeded to munch on the cookie.

Kuroo took a bite and let his teeth enjoy the crunch of the outer part and the chewiness of the inside of the cookie. He could feel and taste the sugary strawberry crumbs in his mouth making him shudder in delight. The conversation at the table continues but Kuroo noticed the sudden quietness of Tsukishima. His eyes landed on the blonde who seemed like savoring every bite of his cookie. Every time that he swallows, a smile would appear on his face. Kuroo couldn't help but smile too and just watch him until he devours eight cookies.

Lunch came to an end and everyone decided to watch a movie after Akiteru washed the dishes. They all settled in the living room as they watch some animated short films with the extra cookies laid on a plate in front of them. Kuroo couldn't miss the way Tsukishima's hand secretly grabs for another cookie even though Asami already told him that he had enough for the day.

“Time flies so fast, it's already one~,” Terushima said and stretched his limbs before going to the kitchen. Tsukishima eyed him but didn’t say anything and just focused on the television once again.

Kuroo felt captivated just by looking at Tsukishima eat. He looks so peaceful and cute and beautiful and Kuroo’s list just keeps getting longer the longer he watches him. He couldn’t believe that he had the chance to sleep with someone like Tsukishima. He felt proud when he saw a glimpse of a hickey on Kei’s collarbone. He did that. He sucked on that skin and made Tsukishima wither under him and he wanted to do it again and again, _and again._

As much as he still wants to stare at Tsukishima, the time is up. He still needs to go home and arrange his things. He has just moved with his friend since high school, Bokuto. They’re now sharing an apartment and it’s just been three days ever since he moved in and he still hasn’t unpacked all of his boxes.

“Uhm, I think that I should go now,” He announces and suddenly, everyone’s eyes are on him. He purposely avoided Tsukishima’s gaze. Kuroo knew that this is making the blonde uncomfortable in all means and if Kuroo leaving would make him okay, then Kuroo would gladly do it.

“Already?” Asami asked when Kuroo stood and grabbed his coat, almost in a hurry. He smiled at the woman when she packed a dozen cookies for him. He thanked everyone when he was already at the front door. He stole a glance at Tsukishima whose sitting at the couch, looking at him like he wants to say something.

“I guess that I’ll just see you guys around?” He smiled sheepishly before opening the door, ready to go out but not quite ready to leave Kei. Everyone bid goodbye to him, even Akiteru to which Kuroo gladly responded with a smile and a nod after thanking them once again for the lunch.

“Wait!” Kuroo stilled for a moment then looked at the owner of the voice. Tsukishima ran to him with his car keys dangling in his hands. “I’ll drive you,”

Oh, fuck. Kuroo’s head is spinning. His mouth opened, then closed but no words came out. He couldn’t find the right words to say or rather he was too scared that what he’ll say would be wrong so Kuroo decided to just nod.

Once again, Kuroo and Tsukishima were inside the car, alone. Kuroo was scared that Tsukishima would hear the loud banging of his heart in his ribcage. Why was he like this again?

“Where should I take you?” He asked while maneuvering the car. Kuroo eyed him first, amused with his driving skills, and with how good he looks when both of his hands are on the steering wheel.

“Uh, you can drop me off the bar. My car is there,” Tsukishima almost cursed upon learning that Kuroo has a car indeed. If only he had the courage to ask him last night if he had one then all of what happened in the morning would not happen. His grip tightened as he sucked in a good amount of air, building up the courage that he didn’t have last night.

“Kuroo-san?” He called. Kuroo wanted to correct him. Kuroo liked it better when he was calling him by his first name. It sounded a lot better but, okay.

“Yeah?”

“I’m…” Tsukishima inhaled. “I’m sorry about earlier. God, I didn’t think that you’ll meet everyone. This is so embarrassing. I’m really, really sorry but thank you for not saying anything to my Mom and putting up with my friend’s craziness,” Tsukishima blabbered, his face slowly getting red. He waited for Kuroo’s response and almost felt like crawling out of his skin when the dark-haired man chuckled.

“It’s okay, I swear. I enjoyed staying at your house for a while. And please, just Kuroo,”

“Uhm, okay… Kuroo,” Well, maybe Kuroo could bear with Tsukishima just calling him by his last name. That’s better than not being called by him. Their conversation dropped, making Kuroo just stare at the window. They don’t have anything to talk about and it’s not like they can talk about what happened last night. It would be too weird if Kuroo would say that Tsukishima tasted like heaven out of the blue.

Ten minutes and they’re already in front of Indigo. For the first time in Kuroo’s life, he actually considered being stuck in traffic. It would be awkward but who cares? As long as Tsukishima’s alone with him then he’ll feel okay.

Kuroo was shaking his head, a bashful grin on his face upon realizing that he sounds like a high schooler once again. He opened the car’s door, each second felt heavy. He didn’t want to leave the car. He wanted to stay longer.

“So,” He looked at Tsukishima and savored the sight for the hundredth time now. “Your Mom asked me to go back next Saturday,”

“Did she?” Tsukishima let out a chuckle and almost made a mental note to scold his Mom for feeling so carefree to let people in his house without getting his permission first but maybe it’s alright because it’s Kuroo. He might not know him for a long time now but he could feel that he’s a good person. As long as they’re safe then he doesn’t mind it plus, he saw how his Mom liked Kuroo as her baking partner.

“Well, I might have said that I make good macarons and now she wants me to teach her,” Tsukishima’s mouth was suddenly salivating. It’s been a while since he ate some.

“I’ll be seeing you next week then?” Kuroo nodded, the sparkle in Tsukishima’s eyes did not go unnoticed. He smiled and was about to close the door when “Wait, Kuroo,”

“Why? Miss me already?” He kidded.

“Thank you for today,” Tsukishima smiled genuinely and Kuroo was sure that that smile could’ve killed him.

“You make it sound like we went on a date,” I want to make it true though. Kuroo thought. Tsukishima rolled his eyes at him and Kuroo wanted to know if he could taste the sweetness of the cookies from earlier in his mouth. Maybe he could because Tsukishima ate a lot and he would taste like strawberries and sugar and it would bring heaven to Kuroo again. Heaven brought by Tsukishima would make a great birthday gift. He cocked his head, finding his thoughts weird and satisfying at the same time.

The smile on his face stayed even when he reached his apartment. Bokuto asked him where did he spent the night but Kuroo answered him vaguely, mind still floating with the thought of tasting strawberries from kissing Tsukishima.

He opened the small paper bag that Asami prepared and grabbed a cookie. He munched on the strawberry chunks and the memory of Tsukishima looking happy while eating replays on his mind all day.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for reading! Less than three <3


	3. Chapter 3

The walls between their rooms are supposed to be soundproof for their privacy so why the fuck does Tsukishima hears the constant whining of Terushima?

He stood up from his bed, his vision still blurry until he grabbed his spectacles and wear them. There are times that Tsukishima considered wearing his glasses throughout his sleep so when he wakes up, everything will be clear, not blurry. But glasses are not formidable, they will never be. They will always be something that Tsukishima should always take care of because they're fragile, like himself.

As he walks down the stairs, Terushima's voice is getting louder. Cries of his mother's name and please, please, please were the only thing that he hears. Too much for 8 in the morning.

"Kei!" His mother happily said upon seeing him and embracing him into her arms. He subtly hugged her back and kissed the top of her hair. Tsukishima was never comfortable with showing his love to his family but when Akiteru and he moved out of their house for college, he realized that his mother is all alone, and with that, he considered showing some love to her.

"Auntie! Just call him, pleaseeee!" Terushima said while stomping his feet like a child. Tsukishima wanted to smash the framed painting on the wall to the whiny man's head. Asami ignored Terushima and just sat at the couch, continuing to watch her favorite cliché romantic series but something like that would never stop Mr. Persistent.

"Yuuji, what the hell is your problem?" Tsukishima went into the kitchen and helped himself with some coffee with a heaping spoon of sugar. Terushima ran to him with a pout and he needed to stop himself from pouring the coffee on Terushima's unlovely pout.

"I thought that Auntie would be with Akiteru today," Terushima's pout just got even poutier, if that's even possible and it was getting more unpleasant to Tsukishima's eyes.

"So?"

"So?" He repeated and looked at Tsukishima like its still not yet obvious. "Of course, I want to see him," Like Asami, Tsukishima ignored Terushima and just sat beside his mother, ready to criticize and ruin every scene that his Mom loves.

"I can't believe you guys, you're making me sad," Terushima sat beside Tsukishima with a pout. His eyes were on the television but Tsukishima was sure that his mind is somewhere in Miyagi.

Terushima Yuuji likes Akiteru. Tsukishima doesn't know when did it start. It could be when they first met each other, when Terushima and Akaashi went to their house to hang out, maybe when Akiteru helped Terushima find his earring on their carpet for merely an hour, or when they both tried to bake a cake for Tsukishima's birthday and they almost set the house on fire. All he knows is that whenever Akiteru visits them, Terushima's eyes dilate and he could literally see the blush whenever on his cheeks whenever Akiteru talks to him. Whether his older brother knows this or he's still oblivious, he doesn't know it either.

"Hello, Tadashi!" Asami chirped when Yamaguchi showed himself. He greeted her with the same enthusiasm as he makes his breakfast, a sandwich filled with peanut butter along with his cup of coffee.

"Did they already kiss?" Yamaguchi asked Asami when he sat on the couch beside Terushima, making her nod her head. He noticed the blonde's pout and just gave his sandwich to him to cheer him up a little bit.

"It's not Akiteru, but thank you, Dashi," He bites into it and smiled afterward. Tsukishima wanted to thank Yamaguchi for turning Terushima's mood into a good one. He's literally the mood bender of the house and Tsukishima could never picture the house without Yamaguchi and his calmness.

"Is he still not there?" Akaashi said as soon as they heard his fast pace down the stairs. Asami, along with the three men, stared at him for a few seconds, wondering why he is dolled up, and why was he using his favorite dangly emerald earrings on a normal Saturday morning.

"Who?" Tsukishima tilted his head as all of them watch Akaashi do his eyeliner in a hurry. Yamaguchi even wowed when he realized that Akaashi is wearing his prettiest choker since he only wears that on special occasions.

"Bokuto Koutaro because we're going on a date! And he's going to fetch me here,"

"That's good news, Keiji!" Yamaguchi ran to him and hugged him as soon as he finished doing his eyeliner. Just when Tsukishima was about to congratulate Akaashi because he's going on a real date, Terushima started to cry out of jealousy. Puzzled, Asami patted Terushima's back after pushing his son away so she could sit beside the crying man.

Tsukishima didn't know where to focus. To his friend whose about to go on a date after so many one night stands or his other friend whose heart is broken because his brother did not visit them? The noise was chaotic and it was the last thing that Tsukishima wants on a weekend. Peace. All he wanted is peace.

_Inhale. Exhale. Inhale. Exhale. Inhale. Exhale._

He grabbed his phone and dragged the pad of his fingers across the screen to text Akiteru to visit them to solve his problem with Terushima.

**_to: Akiteru_ ** _  
8:36 am  
Visit us_

_  
  
**from: Akiteru  
** 8:38 am  
Sorry, bby bro. the papers on my desk r as tall as my dick. 2 busy  
  
_

_**to: Akiteru  
** 8:39 am  
3 inches?? That'll be quick.  
  
_

_**from: Akiteru**  
8:43 am  
I hate u  
_

_  
**to: Akiteru  
** 8:43 am  
No, you don't. I'll watch an action movie with you.  
_

_  
**from: Akiteru  
** 8:46 am  
I'll be there later :)  
_

  
  
Tsukishima sighed, more than relieved. He hates action movies but Akiteru is in love with them and whenever push comes to shove, Tsukishima just bribes himself to watch an action movie with him for a favor. He stood up and whispered the good news to Terushima. The shorter guy quickly hugged him and even tried to pepper kisses on his cheeks. Tsukishima shoved his head away and went to Akaashi and Yamaguchi's side with a smile. He might not look like it but he loves seeing his friends happy. It also gives him a sparkly feeling in his chest that completes his day.

"So, what does he looks like?" Yamaguchi asked, his elbows propped on the countertop. Akaashi stopped looking himself at the mirror for a second and looked at Yamaguchi with a grin.

"He looks so, so good and the muscles? God, he could choke me to death and I'll still thank him," Yamaguchi giggled but Tsukishima rolled his eyes. The name was awfully familiar to his ears that he digs up his memories to try to recall Akaashi's date's name.

"Is he the one from Indigo last week?" He asked in curiosity. His memory was vague from the happenings in the bar last week but Akaashi's story about a certain guy being a sex god is quite memorable.

"Yup," Akaashi's face was painted with excitement. Tsukishima should be glad now that his friend is actually going on a real date but his palms just can't help but sweat. Akaashi went through a lot and it was the reason why he just settled on one night stands for years. He wanted to warn him or at least ask him if he's sure that the Bokuto guy is a good man but he can't say it. Not when Akaashi's smile is shining so bright that it could almost blind everyone in the house.

Tsukishima just hummed in response and just shut his mouth. Yamaguchi was asking a lot of questions and Akaashi was answering everything in fervor. A few minutes later, Terushima joined them, eyes still red from his little drama. The noise ballooned once again but this time, Tsukishima was smiling instead of frowning. This is the noise that he likes, the noise of excitement, and just happiness.

All of them stopped from talking, Asami even paused the movie when they heard the doorbell. Akaashi's face lightened up even more and told everyone that its Bokuto. He ran towards their gate and opened it. Bokuto came inside the house with a big smile while Akaashi introduces each and every one of them to him. Tsukishima studied him secretly. He looks friendly and Akaashi wasn't wrong, his muscles were beefy. He looks like a good man and Tsukishima hoped that he'll live out to his appearance.

"Stop that, Tsukki," Yamaguchi nudged him. Tsukishima looked at him with questioning eyes. "There's no need to scrutinize him. Let's just trust Akaashi's judgment. It'll be alright,"

Tsukishima shrugged and realized that it’ll be better if he’ll just support Akaashi with his decisions.

Their talking was brief and Tsukishima hardly conversed with Bokuto. In a flash, Akaashi and Bokuto were outside, ready to start their date. Tsukishima could only look at Akaashi and subtly warn him with his eyes. Akaashi got his message and winked at him with a smile and it was enough for Tsukishima.

Asami and Terushima returned their attention to the television, Yamaguchi went to his room and got ready for his and Yachi’s weekly date while Tsukishima went to the dining room alone and sat with a book.

The voices of the actors and actresses from the drama turned into soft murmurs in the dining room. Tsukishima sipped on his creamy coffee as he quietly read the book on his hand. From time to time, he glances at his right side and the garden welcomes him through the massive glass window. Plants are cute, welcoming, and refreshing. Tsukishima always liked them and its the only part of the house he likes aside from his room.

The house was bought by his father as soon as he was born. He wanted to secure their future and maybe it was too much for a newborn child. Both his mother and father were rich and money never became an issue between them yet things happened and the couple separated ways. As soon as Akiteru became of legal age, he sold the house that was given to him by their father. Tsukishima wanted to do the same but some circumstances happened. He got accepted to a university in Tokyo with Yamaguchi, Akaashi and Terushima also happened to be working in Tokyo. They’re all friends and in a blink, the four of them were living together for four years already.

But the garden makes Tsukishima forget that this house was bought by his father whom he loathes so much. His father also never forgets his monthly allowance, courtesy to the arrangement that his parents did before they divorced. For his whole high school life, he never used a single penny but Tsukishima realized that there’s no reason for him to not use it and it resulted in their thrice a week visit in the bar along with his car.

Tsukishima sipped on his coffee, flipped the next page but the letters were suddenly scrambled in his vision when his mother shouted Kuroo’s name in glee. He arranged the bookmark and gulped the rest of his coffee almost immediately and made his way to the living room. Tsukishima fought the urge to part his lips on the view. Kuroo was wearing a simple white shirt and jeans but the effect on Tsukishima was indescribable.

“Tsukki, look, it's your best friend!” Terushima said with a smirk as he pats Kuroo’s back a few times.

“Don’t you need to go to work?” He asked while eyeing Terushima, eyes glaring and almost enough to kill someone who has a fragile heart.

“Nah, I’m actually thinking of resigning,” Terushima lilts. “And Kuroo-kun, make yourself at home, I’m sure Tsukishima would welcome you very well,” Terushima hopped his way towards his stairs and it took Tsukishima another couple of deep breaths to not strangle his hair when he walked past him.

“Well, I’m going to arrange the kitchen now,” Asami said and went into the kitchen, leaving Tsukishima and Kuroo alone in the living room.

“Its good to see you again,” Kuroo said, his eyes fixated on Tsukishima’s honey orbs. He smiled and it was enough for Tsukishima to melt in place. He walked closer but stopped when they’re just three feet away from each other.

“You too,” Unspoken words floats in the air. Tsukishima and Kuroo could not distinguish whether the silence enveloping them is awkward or just calming. Tsukishima could stare at him all day and list tons of the physical attributes that Kuroo has.

Kuroo breathes and Tsukishima’s nerves were suddenly on fire as he offered him to sit on the couch. He asked if Kuroo would like to have some tea, which the dark-haired man answered with a polite yes with an almost shaky voice. Tsukishima wanted to know why but he moved himself to prepare Kuroo’s tea. While pouring the hot water into the cup, his mother busily grabs the utensils and bowls that they would need. Tsukishima grabbed the tea bag and placed it in the cup before placing the cup in a saucer with a small spoon on the side.

“Here,”

“Thank you,” Kuroo said upon receiving the tea. He took a small sip and looked back at Tsukishima with a smile that made his stomach do somersaults. This is not good. He sat beside Kuroo, still leaving a few feet between them.

“So, what are you making today again?” He crossed his legs and rest his elbow on the backrest of the couch making his body slightly face Kuroo.

“Macarons, Tsukishima,” His ears twitched. Suddenly, his last name doesn’t sound right. He stared at Kuroo for a second, contemplating whether to say what he wants to say. He never let other people call him by his first name besides his family and friends. Even his friends seldom call him by his name so let a person- considerably a stranger who is sitting beside him would make no sense.

“Could you just please call me Kei?” His face remained stoic but he was feeling embarrassed, especially when Kuroo’s head tilted at him and looks like he was stopping a smile to form on his lips.

“Its Kei then,” His name rolled out of Kuroo’s tongue and suddenly, everything made sense. “Are you going to help us?”

Tsukishima almost laughed at his question. He shook his head as a response with a smile. Tsukishima never had the talent to bake even if he always watches his mom bake almost every single day of his childhood. His cookies would always end up hard as a rock, his muffins not edible, his loaves of bread don’t rise and his cakes would end up burned because he and the oven don’t have a good relationship.

“I’m just gonna burn the house down along with you so I’d rather just eat,” Kuroo laughed and Tsukishima was sure that he was not mocking him, but instead, quite amazed that a son of someone who loves baking doesn’t know how to bake. “Oh, please don’t laugh. I’m skillful with a scalpel, I could easily make you bleed with that,”

Kuroo just laughed even more but Tsukishima just let him. His laughs were not annoying, it was even relaxing. He watched him as the side of his eyes creases when crazy and unique but still adorable laughs came out of his mouth.

“Kuroo-kun? The kitchen’s ready!” Asami shouted from the kitchen that stopped Kuroo from laughing. He looked at Tsukishima with an apologizing expression but the blonde just shook his head and gestured his hand to the kitchen, implying that he should go now. Kuroo walked past him in a hurry, a faint smell of his perfume leaving his trail. Tsukishima almost sniffed the air to get a better smell of his perfume.

The living room was suddenly quiet and Tsukishima was supposed to like that but he didn't. Completely bored, he went to the kitchen to grab the book that was lying on the table. He glimpsed at the kitchen and saw Asami and Kuroo busily doing their own tasks. Tsukishima knew that its rude to stare but when Kuroo was sifting the almond flour, he had no other choice. Kuroo was holding the sieve with his left hand while his other hand was gently patting the sieve from time to time. The veins on his forearm were protruding and it was the first time that Tsukishima saw those. Tsukishima wanted to stare more, up until Kuroo sifts all the almond flour but a gentle tap on his shoulder woke him up from his daydream.

Yamaguchi was looking at him with a smile. He was already made up in his eccentric printed shirt layered with retro-designed long sleeves and jeans. Tsukishima furrowed his eyebrows at him. He knew that smile. He’s been with Yamaguchi for almost his life that everything about him is already deep within his mind and heart.

“Auntie really likes him, huh?” Tsukishima only nods, there's no point in wasting his voice when they’re already looking at the answer. “How about you? Do you like him?”

Tsukishima almost puked upon hearing Tadashi’s question. Liking a person in a different way than liking his friends and family never happened to him. His mother tried to set up multiple dates for him with a girl when he was in high school but she never caught Tsukishima’s attention. They went on weekly dates for months but Tsukishima couldn’t bear it. He had known her for months yet he never felt sparks (not that he believes in that), so, asking him if he likes the person that he knows for just two weeks and they only talked to each other for a mere ten minutes every time they see each other is humorous.

“Shut up, Yamaguchi. I don’t like him,” Yamaguchi chuckled when he saw how disgusted Tsukishima is. After getting his answer, he bid goodbye to the blonde, along with Asami and Kuroo, and went out to go to Yachi.

“Kei, can you help Kuroo-kun get some parchment paper in your random stuff room?” Asami asked from the kitchen and Tsukishima was a little too quick to comply. Kuroo was behind him as he leads the way to the random stuff room.

“This house is really spacious,” Kuroo said as he looked around. He’s only been around the kitchen, living room, dining room, and Tsukishima’s bedroom, making this the first time that he’s seeing the other parts of the house.

“A bastard bought it for me,” Tsukishima said when he opened the door to the said room for Kuroo but the guy was just looking at him like he wanted to ask something. Tsukishima was about to ask him when he realized something that made his face go red. “N-no, no, oh my god, you might be thinking that it's from a sugar daddy. Shit. My dad bought it for me, okay? It's not like I would ever be a sugar baby or what,”

“Oh, Kei, you’re so amusing,” Kuroo chuckled after Tsukishima rambled all the unnecessary things that he said. He felt his face heat up even more because of embarrassment. The fact that he got too caught up with explaining himself and stuttering is already too much. He wanted to bang his head on the door.

Kuroo went inside the room and glanced around. The things inside were really random. There's a closet full of winter coats while on the other side, there's a massive couple of see-through drawers, and there he saw the drawer intended for baking tools and supplies. Kuroo was able to get a new roll of parchment paper and turned his heels back to the door where Tsukishima was, still red yet composed.

They went back to the kitchen and out of boredom, Tsukishima watched them while sitting at a barstool. Tsukishima doesn’t want to admit it but watching his mom bake could be one of the things that just relaxes his whole being. She moves elegantly as she poured the egg whites and granulated sugar into the mixer then smiled when she saw the egg whites’ consistency getting better after five minutes, it also made him smile.

And Kuroo, oh, he was a natural in the kitchen. His hands are fast as he chops the fresh strawberries into fine pieces that Tsukishima bought yesterday. Tsukishima almost awed at him and at the strawberries in front of him. He was already salivating because of the supple redness of the strawberries. Without thinking, he quickly grabbed three strawberries from Kuroo and popped one in his mouth. Kuroo looked at him with disbelief like he stole something precious to him but Tsukishima just raised his eyebrows as he chews. Kuroo shook his head with a smile, obviously amused with Tsukishima’s childish side.

Asami mixed the almond flour and baking soda with the egg whites and sugar mixture along with a few drops of red food gel. She mixed it carefully, her hands moving in a fluid circular motion. Once she’s done, she peeked at Kuroo who is currently working with the filling. He showed her the ingredients that he’s using: three sticks of softened butter, two cups of powdered sugar, three tablespoons of milk, and the strawberry purée. Asami was nodding while listening to him and Tsukishima was sure that shes already listing those ingredients in her mind for future references.

“Can I work with the purée?” Tsukishima asked Kuroo but latter looked at him suspiciously. “I’m not gonna eat it, I swear. Sue me if I did,” He put both of his hands in the air like he’s getting arrested and Kuroo could only chuckle. He motioned him to go beside him which Tsukishima did in a few seconds after wearing an apron. He opened the stove and pour in two cups of whole strawberries in the saucepan. Turn it into low heat then gradually add the sugar, Kuroo instructed and Tsukishima complied.

Tsukishima was stirring the strawberries slowly when Kuroo started to pipe the batter onto the parchment paper. Tsukishima rolled his eyes and tried to peel off his eyes on Kuroo’s forearm and hands and the way he professionally makes almost perfect circles.

_Please pipe me too_ , Tsukishima thinks.

Tsukishima shrieked when his finger came in contact with the hot pan. Asami quickly went to him and checked her son’s finger. Kuroo grabs a couple of ice cubes and quickly put it in a ziplock and gave it to Tsukishima.

“You really love getting blisters, Kei, huh?” Kuroo kidded but Tsukishima just blushed when he realized that Kuroo did remember his blister accident that Akaashi mentioned.

“Shut up,” Tsukishima sat at the stool once again as he presses the ice on his finger with a faint ‘ow’. Asami did the purée and mixed it in the buttercream mixture. Kuroo continued to pipe that batter and Tsukishima made a mental note not to look at Kuroo again while doing that because he might just fall off the chair.

“I’ll go up to my room,” He said just to avoid looking at Kuroo. Tsukishima went to his room, grabbed and connected his headphones to his phone, and propped them to his ears. His playlist is diverse, starting from local Japanese songs, Korean pop songs, music from different artists from the west, there are quite a few rock songs too, along with anime opening and ending songs and even Taylor Swift’s country songs. Music relaxes him and the next thing he knew is that he woke up from a nap because of the wet part of his comforter near his face. He frowned when he realized that it came from the moisture of the ice in the ziplock. He discarded the water in the sink and went downstairs, the aroma of freshly baked macarons filling the house.

“Tsukki baby! Look! Your best friend’s macarons are really great,” Terushima said while waving a half macaron on his hand. Tsukishima rolled his eyes at him and had the urge to shove a whole macaron in his throat.

They were all huddled in the living room with a plate full of strawberry and cookies and cream flavored macarons. Tsukishima sat beside Terushima before grabbing a piece of the macaron. The outer part of the macaron was flawlessly fascinating and Tsukishima couldn’t wait to taste it. His mouth melted as soon as he tasted the small pastry. The sweetness was just right and the taste of strawberries was overflowing in his mouth. He couldn’t describe the texture but it tastes like heaven, heck, it could even surpass heaven.

“This is so good,” He commented, his and Kuroo’s eyes meeting at the process.

“Well, thanks,” Kuroo said, voice deep that it added to the sweetness that Tsukishima tastes in his mouth. Tsukishima even tasted the cookies and cream macaron and praised it too to make Asami feel good because it is her recipe. Asami hugged him and peppered kisses on his cheeks which made Tsukishima annoyed.

The four of them sat peacefully as Terushima searches a good movie to watch to kill some time before lunch. Much to Tsukishima’s disgust, they ended up watching a newly released action movie. He was devastated when he remembered that he needed to watch another action movie later with Akiteru. Tsukishima ran his fingers through his hair when the lead actor successfully shoots all of the bad guys without getting shot even once. Too cliché for Tsukishima Kei.

“Oh shit! That’s so cool!” Kuroo shouted along with Terushima. Tsukishima rolled his eyes at them. There’s no doubt that Akiteru and Kuroo would get along so well now that he sees Kuroo’s enthrallment with action movies.

The movie came to an end with the lead actor succeeded in throwing the mastermind of his son being kidnapped in the jail. Tsukishima scoffed when his mother even clapped her hands saying that it was a great movie that Terushima and Kuroo agreed to. The two men talked for a few minutes, giving their criticisms and reactions to the movie to one another while Asami started to cook for lunch. When Kuroo and Terushima started to make unnecessary sounds like ‘bam!’, ‘wham!’, ‘boom!’, Tsukishima took it as a cue to remove himself from the living room to spare himself from the overreacting of the two.

He helped Asami in preparing the food and wore the apron once again. He was chopping the zucchini while Asami was washing the sprouted beans thoroughly. He also cooked the rice and halfway through Asami’s miso soup, Kuroo went to the kitchen, saying that he should go now.

“But its almost lunch,” Tsukishima deadpanned but Kuroo shook his head with a small smile as an apology.

“I need to go to work. I have an afternoon shift,” Kuroo explained and it made Tsukishima feel strange.

“Well, I guess we can’t hinder you from going to your work,” Asami said, packing a dozen of macarons in a paper bag. “Thank you for coming today, Kuroo-kun. I appreciated it,”

“Oh, its nothing and I enjoyed it too,”

“I don’t know when we’ll see each other again but I’ll definitely keep your recipe in mind,” Asami gave him the paper bag which Kuroo gladly accepted. Kuroo bowed at her and thanked her once again. Tsukishima removed his apron and did the pleasure of walking Kuroo out of the house.

“See you around?” Kuroo said, his other hand fumbling in his side pocket while the other, gripping firmly at the girly looking paper bag.

“Yeah, and thank you again for today, the macarons were wonderful,” Tsukishima said, smiling at the dark-haired man. It was still a mystery to him with how can he act naturally around Kuroo when in fact, he was once his one-night stand. Maybe it was because Kuroo is actually a light and friendly person, maybe it's because of his baking skills, or maybe Tsukishima just feels okay around him regardless of the night that they shared as complete strangers.

"I need to go now tho," Kuroo said after looking at his wristwatch. The smile on Tsukishima's face fell but he was able to put it back again. Tsukishima opened the gate and Kuroo went inside his car. The sound of the car being revved sent waves of an unidentifiable emotion to Tsukishima's closed heart. Tsukishima chewed on his lip and just let his feet bring him towards Kuroo's car without thinking.

"Wait, Kuroo," He didn't need to knock at the car's window since Kuroo rolled it down on his own. Kuroo raised his brows, eyes questioning and Tsukishima couldn't help but glance at his lips. "Do you think that you could make desserts for me? I mean, if you're not that busy. Whenever you have your day off? I would pay you, don't worry,"

Kuroo stared at him and for a moment, Tsukishima was so close to asking the road if it could swallow him wholly.

"Joke! Ha-ha, I was kidding--"

"I'd be more than happy to do that," Tsukishima's mouth went agape, completely lost for words. Kuroo was smiling and Tsukishima thought that it was contagious when his lips curved upwards too. Scary.

"Then, when would you go again?"

"Hm, probably this Wednesday. I feel like I need to get your number now?" Tsukishima blinked a few times before getting the phone from Kuroo's hands. He quickly typed in his number and labeled it a Tsukishima Kei. Brief and simple.

"My phone's inside so just text me so I can save yours,"

"No problem, so, I should get going now,"

"Oh, yeah, take care," Tsukishima waved at him and watched the car as it becomes smaller and smaller to his vision. When it was not visible to his naked eye, Tsukishima clutched his chest.

"What the actual fuck, Kei? Take care? What are you?" He said out loud while ruffling his hair. Frustration slowly building up in his chest. He felt so stupid and lame at the same time.

"Gay, Tsukki. You're gay," Tsukishima turned his head and saw Terushima on the gate, his hands crossed above his chest with a playful grin on his face. Tsukishima hissed and walked past the shorter man abruptly. Terushima just laughed when he closed the gate and went inside the house.

When the sky was painted with pale pink and soft coral with the mighty sun slowly retreating back, Akiteru arrived. Terushima hugged him tightly, not really caring if he's being too obvious. Asami kissed his cheek and Tsukishima just nodded at him. Yamaguchi went home too, just in time for dinner while Akaashi texted Terushima that he'll not be going home for the night because their date will already leap towards their honeymoon.

Akiteru and Asami cooked their dinner with Terushima squishing himself in the kitchen just to be with Akiteru. Tsukishima and Yamaguchi had their own time in the living room, talking about the news facts that they learned about dinosaurs. They also tried the new feature in Google where it shows how big a dinosaur is in real life and it's in 3D, and Tsukishima was the happiest with this. Tsukishima was enjoying reading an article about the Micropachycephalosaurus when Asami told them that dinner is ready.

The dinner was too loud for Tsukishima's liking. Terushima was beyond happy when Akiteru sat beside him, they both talked about action movies while Asami asked Yamaguchi some random questions. Tsukishima was the only sane one but at least the macarons that he put away for himself were still in the container. As soon as the dinner was finished, Asami volunteered to wash the dishes for them to start the movie early.

The four men sat in the living room in front of the massive television. When Akiteru showed them the title of what they're watching, Tsukishima literally groaned. It was the same movie that they watched in the morning. He looked at Terushima but the latter just shrugged and just snuggled on Akiteru.

The lead actor once again fires his gun and Tsukishima wanted to do the same with their television. He rolled his eyes in utter annoyance but stopped when his phone vibrated.

_**from: unknown** _

_ 7:12 pm _

_ Hey, its Kuroo :) _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hai!! I'm going to update as fast as I can before school starts. Thank you for the kudos and comments, I really appreciate them! Stay safe everyone <3


	4. Chapter 4

Tsukishima never hated school, in fact, he even liked it. He liked that it somehow makes him busy and that it robs his time intended for overthinking. Sometimes its overwhelming and tiring but Tsukishima takes pride in all of his thesis down to his short essays. He was the model student that the lower levels look up to, especially his professors. Tsukishima never absents, even if he has a cold or slight fever and this is why Yamaguchi looked bothered when he told him that he's not going to the university for the day.

It was a great thing that Yamaguchi stopped prying on him when he faked a cough and just leave, going to the university alone for the day. On the other hand, Tsukishima didn't even know why did he need to fake a cough like absenting for the first time in the school year is a bad thing. He rolled his eyes at nothing and just plopped himself on his bed, snuggling his pillow close to his face, inhaling the soft smell of lavender from the detergent.

The sun was already rising but Tsukishima still wanted to sleep. It's still too early and the reason why he did not attend school for the day will still be later in the afternoon. He closed his eyes and tried his best to drift to his wonderland when his phone started to vibrate non-stop. With a groan, he grabbed it and saw the chain of messages from an orange-haired boy.

  
**from: Hinata Shoyo**

8:12 am

  
Are u ok??? Yamaguchi said that ur sick!!  
  
Do u want us 2 go 2 ur house l8r????  
  
We'll bring u sum porridge  
  
Kageyama's happy bcs u're not here  
  
That must suck, ur sick in literally the middle of the week :((  
  
Get well, stingyshima....

  
  
**to: Hinata Shoyo**

8:13 am

  
Please just delete my number and don't go here.

  
  
Tsukishima felt his brain being sucked into nowhere after he reading and seeing Hinata's excessive usage of punctuation marks in his texts. He could only sigh and shook his head when he remembered that they're about to graduate college yet Hinata still hasn't get rid of his awful texting habits since high school.

His phone was once again back on his nightstand after he turned in into silent mode when continuous knocks disturbed the peace in his room. He ignored the knocks and wished that whoever that person is will just give up and stop but he immediately groaned when he remembered that his door is not locked. As a result of his carelessness, his door was swung open after three seconds of knocking.

"Dashi told me that you're sick," Akaashi's tone was worried as invited himself inside the blonde's room. Tsukishima wore his eyeglasses to see the clearer version of his minimalist styled room. "Wait- no, you're bluffing! How could you do that to Yamaguchi!"

Tsukishima frowned, not quite sure with how Akaashi knew it just by looking at him. He might not really be good at acting and lying. It's not his talent, Tsukishima tried to remember and pushed it into his brain. He sat and quickly think of a passable reason but argues with himself midway because it's not like that his real reason is bad. Okay, maybe it is embarrassing.

"I just want to take a break today," He almost applauded himself for saying the lamest and too used sentence in front of his friend. Contrary to what he expected, Akaashi smiled at him genuinely instead of grinning and asking him whats the real reason was.

"Thank heavens, you do know how to take a break from school," Tsukishima rolled his eyes.

"I'm literally taking a break from school forever in two weeks," Akaashi chuckled and for a moment, Tsukishima thought that he was about to tell him the myriad of reasons why he did not choose to go to college.

"You should go down now, I made breakfast," The older man said before retreating from Tsukishima's room. Akaashi has always been the person who does the cooking for them. He was the mother of the house despite being only the second oldest among the four of them. Terushima was a few months older than Akaashi yet he acts like the youngest.

Upon feeling the certain emptiness in his stomach, Tsukishima chose to follow Akaashi's advice and went down the stairs with his shoulders slightly slouching. The distinct smell of eggs and pan-fried salmon wafted in the air that it almost made Tsukishima's stomach growl. He said good morning, not particularly to anyone but Terushima greeted him back energetically. He was wearing white long sleeves along with his dark brown slacks. His fancy earrings were nowhere to be found and it was a sign that Terushima is finally going to his work after absenting for four days.

Akaashi's cooking has gotten better but Tsukishima would still choose Asami's miso soup than his. Akaashi and Terushima ate fast as they both chase the time, worried that they'll be late for their work. After inhaling the food, the two men drove towards their own path, and Tsukishima was left alone in his enormous house. He washed the plates and tried to watch the movie that Yamaguchi and Akaashi were talking about yesterday.

Tsukishima found the movie boring, as a result, one-fourth of the duration of the 2-hour long movie, Tsukishima's face was pressed on the armrest of the couch, sleeping as the movie continuously play.

The movie was about to end when Tsukishima finally wakes up from his slumber, the fine pattern of the couch leaving an imprint to his left cheek. Tsukishima did his best to stretch his long limbs, his bones cracking a bit due to his unusual position earlier. The time seemed like slowing itself so Tsukishima decided to take a bath. He used his Citrus scented bath bomb and settled himself in the bathtub for merely an hour, his skin, especially the ones on his hands were already wrinkly. Tsukishima sighed in contentment as he left the warm water and the relaxing scent remove all the stress that he did not know he has.

He almost fell asleep again but he was able to force himself from dozing off by rinsing and going out of his bathroom. He opened his closet and stared at it for a good two minutes while his towel was perfectly wrapped around his thin and sharp hips. Tsukishima dressed slowly, like he always does, first his underwear, casual trousers then a plain white shirt, and his oversized gray knitted sweater. The weather was slowly simmering down, it's much tolerable than it was the last few weeks.

He went to the living room along with a book that he bought yesterday with his university group of friends before they went home. It was a teen fiction book and it nearly disgusts him just to hold the book. Hinata and Yachi proposed that he should buy it and not wanting to hurt Yachi in any way, he bought it with a heavy heart. And unfortunately, there's nothing new in his bookshelf, only that teen fiction book so he grabbed it and just thought that every book deserves to be read and he should probably give it a chance.

Tsukishima sat on the couch, his back leaned on the armrest as he propped his long legs on the rest of the couch. He drew a deep breath first and decided to finally read the book. Tsukishima has always been a fast reader, his love for books honed his reading skills, and it is somewhat useful. An hour past and he was already on half of the book. It's not so bad. It's not cliché and the characters’ personalities were quite catching. Tsukishima grimaced when he felt hungry that lead him to open the refrigerator and the pantry to find something to eat. He found a pack of good tasting and instant ramen in the pantry.

Tsukishima started to hum along with the music that he played through the television as he gets ahold of a small stainless pot and fill it halfway with water. He stared at the garden as he waits for it to boil. All the pretty leaves did its job to calm his eyes and even his soul. Tsukishima sighed and his heart was suddenly full just by looking at the new succulent plants placed neatly on the right part of the garden but his attention was diverted when the doorbell rang. Puzzled, he looked at the wall clock and realized that it's already 12:30, the exact time that he and his visitor agreed to. Tsukishima almost ran towards the front door and opened the door and Kuroo’s lanky but still muscled figure welcomed him.

“Hey, Kei,” Kuroo greeted and Tsukishima felt the need to hold at the doorknob for support. He pushed himself to speak, his throat almost trembling.

“Hey,” Tsukishima slurred, the last letter being pronounced a little longer than usual. “Please come in,” He continued. Tsukishima opened the door even more to accommodate the space that Kuroo needs to be able to go inside. “Did you already eat? I’m cooking ramen,”

“I just ate, its okay. Where are your friends though?”

“In work and university,” Tsukishima opened the pack of instant ramen and placed the noodles in the boiling water, quickly throwing the plastic away. He grabbed the shredded mozzarella from the refrigerator and poured in a hefty amount of it after putting in the seasonings. He was already craving to the fullest.

“Oh, then it's just us here,” Kuroo said and Tsukishima wished that he didn’t. His nerves felt tensed at the thought of being all alone with Kuroo on a sunny Wednesday afternoon. Its been a while ever since they were alone together and it wasn’t helping Tsukishima at all when he remembered that night. It was a good thing that his sweatpants were quite big to him that it will not show his growing bulge.

“So, what are you making for today?” Tsukishima asked, trying his best to divert the topic from what Kuroo. He grabbed a bowl and a pair of chopsticks and settling his lunch in the black bowl that the four of them bought when they were just about to move in the house.

“Were you able to buy everything that I told you?” Kuroo stood and went to the kitchen. Tsukishima nodded at him as he sat on the barstool and used the counter as a table. “Great, then I’m making strawberry shortcake,”

Tsukishima’s eyes sparkled upon hearing him and Kuroo assumed that everything that is about strawberries would make Tsukishima happy. Kuroo went to the side of the kitchen where the aprons are placed and picked the same apron that he wore last time.

“I should get to work then,” Tsukishima watched him as he works himself around the kitchen and weighs and measures his ingredients. Tsukishima ate slowly like he always does, the noodles slightly getting soggy as minutes pass by. He observed Kuroo and admired his skills once again. The man was efficient and fast in the kitchen and it got Tsukishima thinking if he was a chef.

“Kuroo?” He called out, making Kuroo look up to him and stop sifting the flour for a moment. Kuroo hummed his tone questioning and letting Tsukishima continue. “Are you a chef?”

Kuroo chuckled, but Tsukishima was sure that it wasn’t Kuroo’s normal merry chuckle. It was laced with something else, something deeper that Tsukishima knew he couldn’t dig at the very moment. Kei tilts his head and pushes his thought aside. Not his business.

“No, no, but it's flattering that you thought that I might be one. Well, I was a culinary major, but I was more focused on baking and pastry arts. Did two years and stopped,” Kuroo shared, his hands moving again to combine the 2 1/2 cup of flour, 3 tablespoons sugar, 1/2 tablespoon salt, and 1 cup of chunks of butter in a food processor.

Tsukishima wanted to ask him why did he stop when he looks like the type of student whose burning with passion and is diligent enough to do good in school. He wanted to ask him why but he shoved it off of his head. Tsukishima could see the invisible glowing and glittery line between them. Boundaries. And Tsukishima needs to respect the boundaries.

“How about you? Any work?” Kuroo said even before Tsukishima was able to say something. Tsukishima took it as Kuroo’s way to not let Tsukishima say something about it. It's like, he can share but Tsukishima doesn’t have the right to comment.

“Not working but I’m about to graduate in a few weeks. Both Yamaguchi and I,” He said then slurps the last of his lunch. Kuroo looked at him for a moment before starting to knead the mixture to bring it together.

“Well, I didn’t know that you’re still a student,” Tsukishima scoffed at him as his fingers played with the chopsticks.

“I’m twenty fucking two, Kuroo. All grown up and about to graduate. Don’t sweat about it,” Tsukishima knew that this is about that night. But somehow, Tsukishima felt relieved when he learned that Kuroo does care about age and he’s not a creepy pedophile. Kuroo chuckled again, and it made Tsukishima smile because at last, his real chuckle was out in the world again.

“I’m not sweating about it, Kei, but maybe, you are,” Kuroo wrapped the ball looking mixture and wrapped it in a cling wrap before putting it in the refrigerator. With his hands temporarily free of the dough, he placed his hands on the flat surface and stared at Tsukishima with a grin. Tsukishima raised his right brow and leaned closer, making their face only a few inches apart.

“You wish, Tetsurou,” Tsukishima whispered before pulling back and placing the bowl in the sink. Something in his head was pounding and Tsukishima felt like his throat was going dry. Kuroo looked really good close up. Tsukishima could even count his eyelashes earlier and it's making him giddy and restless. He wanted to regret what he did but a part of him was satisfied. Tsukishima doesn’t know anymore but all he knows is that Kuroo was left speechless.

Tsukishima went back to his seat earlier and just watched Kuroo removed the top and bottom part of the strawberries. He was actually tempted to grab a handful and just eat it the way it is but Tsukishima stopped himself and just drilled in his mind that it will be worth it later. He wanted to continue reading the book that Yachi recommended but he figured that it might be rude to leave Kuroo alone. And so, Tsukishima did his best to think of a topic that's appropriate for the two of them.

“Uhm, so I know that I made you go here to make that but I still don’t actually know how much to pay you,” Tsukishima’s voice was small and soft, clearly shy to ask Kuroo about the money. Kuroo had the urge to record his voice because it was unbelievably calming.

“No, you don’t need to. Being able to bake is more than enough,”

“Are you sure? Because I’m really willing to—“

“Nah, it's okay. We don’t have all these complete baking stuff in the apartment plus, Bo is not really fond of sweets,” This caught Tsukishima off guard. He was not supposed to feel sad or anything but he felt like half of him was turned into tiny embers.

“Oh, so you’re with someone,” Tsukishima felt bad. He never pictured himself as ‘the other man’. Kuroo is good looking and he also has a nice personality, of course, there's no way that he’s single. Tsukishima felt stupid but he also felt angry at Kuroo now that he knows that Kuroo is with someone but then he still hooked up with him. Tsukishima abhors cheaters. He despises them to the bottom of his heart. Tsukishima clenches his fist.

“I just moved in with him,” Tighter. Tsukishima’s knuckles were already getting white because of the pressure. “Every day’s good chaos when you’re in the same roof with your best friend,”

Tsukishima then suddenly unclenches his fist.

“Best friend?” Kuroo nodded, still working with the strawberries, eyes not straying away from the fruits.

“Yeah, Bokuto and I were friends since high school,” Tsukishima wanted to melt with an unknown reason but he set that aside when he heard the familiar name rolling out of Kuroo’s mouth.

“By Bokuto, do you mean a guy with big ass smiles, bicolored hair spiked up and has golden eyes?” Kuroo looked at him, eyebrows furrowed and Tsukishima assumed that he was aghast.

“How did you know Bo?” Kuroo stopped for a moment then continued with an unsure voice, “Did you guys did it?” Tsukishima suddenly wanted to vomit the ramen that he ate. Bokuto may look good but he was definitely not Tsukishima’s type.

“God, no! Akaashi’s been seeing him for a while now and he even went here last time so please stop what you’re thinking,” Tsukishima facepalmed himself while Kuroo laughed loudly. His voice booming in the house. Tsukishima wanted to slap his cheeks to forget that Kuroo actually thought that he and Bokuto boned each other. It was outrageous and Tsukishima felt the need to say sorry to Akaashi later.

By the time Kuroo stopped laughing, Tsukishima noticed that his eyes were already brimmed in tears. He rolled his eyes as he stifles a laugh. Kuroo should pay for the ugly memory that's now in his head. He might never look at Bokuto the same way again and its all Bokuto’s friend’s fault.

When Kuroo finally calmed, along with Kei, he started working once again. He removed the dough from the refrigerator and rolled it nicely then placed it in a pie dish. He placed it inside the preheated oven and let the dough turn into a crunchy yet soft crust for the pie. He proceeded to make the filling and Kuroo never fails to notice how Tsukishima looks at the strawberries. He looked hungry even though he just ate his lunch but this still makes Kuroo’s stomach flutter.

It scares Tsukishima how easy their conversation flowed through different random topics. Kuroo shared some of his knowledge about fruits and Tsukishima was more than eager to hear his story about the shiniest living thing in the world which is called the marble berry. Kuroo was able to touch one when he was still in school and it got Tsukishima quite jealous. Kuroo continued to talk about him, about the time when he was able to make a cake and he realized that baking is what he wants to do. Tsukishima let himself smile the whole conversation, except when Kuroo looks up to him but it did not do him any good because Kuroo was always smiling at him.

Tsukishima watched as Kuroo pours the strawberry filling in the pie shell, his mouth still blabbering but now it's about the cinnamon roll recipe that he made along with Bokuto. Tsukishima was already salivating as he eyes the pie.

“There we go, I just need to let the pie chill in the refrigerator—“

“Can I taste the filling?” Tsukishima immediately asked. Kuroo chuckled at him, of course, tasting the strawberries is his priority. Tsukishima stood and went beside Kuroo. The older man grabbed a spoon and scraped off the remaining sticky sweet strawberry jam on the sides of the pan.

“Here,” Kuroo was about to give him the spoon when Tsukishima just ducked his head and the next thing Kuroo knew is that he’s staring at Tsukishima’s lips surround the spoon.

“Oh my god, it's so sweet! I love it, Kuroo!” Tsukishima said, completely happy because of the outburst of sweetness in his mouth. He was about to steal the spoon from Kuroo’s hands when he felt Kuroo’s balmy lips locking on his. His eyes widened but his hands pressed themselves on Kuroo’s shoulder blades. He kissed him deeply, so deep that Tsukishima felt his head spinning. Kuroo dipped his tongue in Tsukishima’s cavern, licked every part, and brushed it against the blonde’s tongue.

Tsukishima was getting out of breath but he kissed Kuroo back, eager and fast. Kuroo held his hips and pressed them closer that made Tsukishima moan into his mouth. Kuroo tilted his head, his grip tightening whenever Tsukishima moves his hand from his shoulders down to his chest repeatedly.

Tsukishima’s eyes were shut as he let his lips move along Kuroo’s, both their lips slick and pliable. Kuroo’s lips were soft and Tsukishima almost wanted to ask if he also learned how to kiss someone like this in culinary school. Tsukishima moved his hand towards Kuroo’s hair while the other on his nape, slowly grazing his thumb to feel the tiny hairs on Kuroo’s skin.

Kuroo let his hands wander, from Tsukishima’s thin waist, the jut of his hips, his lower stomach, and on his butt cheeks. Tsukishima moaned in satisfaction, happy that Kuroo was touching him. The rush of the kiss and the heat from each other’s fingertips drove them crazy. Tsukishima felt his knees wobble when Kuroo’s kiss went down to his neck, nibbling on the sensitive skin. He let out a soft moan, his voice almost cracking as his hands trace Kuroo’s torso and down, down— down.

Kuroo cursed when Tsukishima palmed him through his pants. The blonde continued doing his work, palming Kuroo harder each second, pressing his hand firmly and moving it in slow motion. His shaky hands moved on its own, fumbling Kuroo’s belt and pushing them down.

“Fuck. Are you—“

“Shut up and just enjoy this once in a lifetime experience,” Tsukishima said before dropping on his knees. He never thought that he’ll do this again. Blowjobs were not on Tsukishima’s favorite things to do but Kuroo is deserving because he did make him a pie, not just any pie, but a delicious strawberry pie.

“Kei,” Kuroo breathed when Tsukishima pushed his boxers down to his ankles. He almost shivered when his half-hard dick was exposed in much colder air. Tsukishima wrapped his fingers around Kuroo’s shaft. He was already dripping and Tsukishima needed to stop himself from gulping and staring at the sight.

A moan ripped off of Kuroo’s chest when Tsukishima finally took his dick in his mouth. Tsukishima’s mouth was hot that it almost made Kuroo came. His hands found its way on Tsukishima’s blonde locks, noticing that it was a bit longer than it was when they first met. It's now reaching Tsukishima’s eyes and oh, Tsukishima’s pupils were dilated as Kuroo stare at them.

Tsukishima peppered Kuroo’s length with kitten licks then pressed his tongue flat on the slit down to the underside of the head. Kuroo was getting harder and Tsukishima felt proud because he was the sole reason why Kuroo is getting hard as a rock. He suddenly feels motivated and dipped his head down further. Kuroo was moaning loudly as Tsukishima moved his mouth up and down. He relaxed his throat and tried his best to accommodate all of Kuroo. The musky scent of Kuroo was slowly getting into the blonde’s head and Tsukishima could only moan.

“Yeah, just like that— oh..” Tsukishima locked his gaze with Kuroo whose eyes were screaming more. Tsukishima clutched Kuroo’s thighs and gave him what he wanted. More. He moved his head faster, hollowing his cheeks whenever he retreats his mouth and glides the tip of his tongue on the slit. When the head of Kuroo’s cock reached Tsukishima’s throat, Kuroo felt pure ecstasy and groaned when he looked down at the blonde.

Eyes half-lidded, moist and eager for more, mouth full and occupied by his cock and his lips were wet and pink. Tsukishima was the most seraphic person that Kuroo ever met.

“Do you think that I need to buy one?"

Kuroo was frozen in place when he heard a loud voice. The sound of keys ringing in his head. There are people outside the house and they’re about to go inside any minute now. He wanted to warn Tsukishima but words couldn’t get out of his mouth because Tsukishima was sucking him harder than before and it was making everything hard for Kuroo.

“K-Kei, wait—“ Tsukishima looked at him with his eyes questioning. Was his blow job not good? But he was sure that Kuroo was enjoying it earlier based on his loud moans and grunts. He released Kuroo’s cock from his mouth and it was on time when the front door opened. Kuroo cursed and Tsukishima’s face was washed with horror.

“Kuroo-kun? You’re here?” Yamaguchi asked and Kuroo could only smile at him, completely acting awkward because he was half-naked and his dick is slick with Tsukishima’s spit. He thanked the counter for being high enough to hide the fact that his pants and underwear is on his ankle.

“Y-yeah. Kei made me go and make this pie,” He grabbed the pie on the counter and showed it to Yamaguchi along with a girl and two other boys. Kuroo did his best not to look down so he just keeps his head on the front, on the people who barged in and stopped the godly experience that Kuroo was experiencing.

“Oh, okay and by the way Kuroo-kun, this is Yachi, my girlfriend and this is Hinata and Kageyama,” Yamaguchi said and Kuroo did his best to smile and greet the others with the same excitement that they gave him. “Where’s Tsukki though?”

“Well, he told me that he’ll take a bath,” Kuroo reasoned that made Yamaguchi nod a few times but then stopping like he saw a ghost. Yamaguchi’s face was suddenly tinted with soft pink, then he turned to his friends.

“I-I think that we should go to my room first and ah— let’s, uhm, p-play!” The orange-haired boy exclaimed but Yamaguchi pushed them towards the stairs. Kuroo heard the ruckus upstairs but it was all silenced when he heard the door closed.

The two men breathe deeply through their mouths. Kuroo felt like his throat was getting dry while Tsukishima rearranged his glasses. It was the most mind wrecking thing that happened to both of them. Kuroo was about to ask Tsukishima if he’s okay when the blonde huffed.

“And they really need to walk in on us when we were both enjoying it,” Tsukishima rolled his eyes in annoyance. Tsukishima knew that the embarrassment would definitely kill him if they saw what's happening behind the counter but he knew that Kuroo was already close. Just when he was about to wrap his fingers around Kuroo’s dick, Kuroo held his wrist and pulled him up. He pushed him against the refrigerator and kissed him thoroughly.

“Let’s finish this quick,” Kuroo growled against his mouth. His hands pushed Tsukishima’s sweatpants down to his thighs along with his boxers. Kuroo stared at Tsukishima’s cock, wet with precum, and looks achingly hard. Kuroo returned his gaze to Tsukishima and stared at him while he licks three of his fingers, coating it with a good amount of saliva.

Tsukishima bit his lip at the sight and kissed Kuroo hard, gliding their tongues against each other as his hands found their way back to Kuroo’s shoulder. A muffled moan escaped his lips when Kuroo wrapped his fingers around his and Tsukishima’s cock. Kuroo also groaned when their shaft was pressed together. His hand slowly moved up and down, coating their lengths in both of his and Tsukishima’s spit.

“Yes, yes, yes,”

“Be quiet, Kei. We don’t want people seeing us like this, right?” Kuroo whispered against Tsukishima’s ear. The blonde nodded then tried to stifle his whimper but failed miserably. Instead, he pressed his face on Kuroo’s shoulder and when Kuroo’s thumb grazed over the head of his cock, he bit Kuroo’s flesh through his shirt.

Kuroo was trying his hard not to moan too but the way Tsukishima was biting him sent jolts direct to his spine. His pace fastened, motivated by Tsukishima’s bite, and by his grip on his shirt. The heaving of their chest became faster as the minute pass. Kuroo wanted to see Tsukishima’s face but the pressure building in his lower stomach messed up his mind.

“I’m so close, oh god, I really—“ Kuroo moved his hand faster and tighter. Wet sounds echoed in the kitchen and it was followed by Tsukishima’s wanton moan when Kuroo’s other hand began to caress his balls. Both of them were so close, so close that Tsukishima readied his hand in case they came too hard.

And they did.

The air was quiet when both of them breathe deeply. Kuroo continued to stroke both of them as they reach the end of their orgasm. Tsukishima was the first one to recover from the release and moved quickly to grab the kitchen towel and wipe the both of them. Kuroo helped and wiped their cum off of the floor.

The two men pulled their undergarments and pants up and arranged themselves. They washed their hands in silence, both of them not knowing what to say after what happened.

Kuroo held the pie and was thankful that the pie wasn’t dirtied. What they did was reckless and continuing it right after they were almost caught was illogical but heck, the pleasure was outstanding and Kuroo doesn’t regret it.

“How many hours does the pie needs to be chilled?” Tsukishima asked and Kuroo was shocked that the blonde was the first to speak up.

“Three. Then you get to eat it,” Tsukishima nodded and wiped the counter with a clean towel to remove the excess flour from earlier. It wasn’t all that awkward and once again, it somehow scared Tsukishima.

“Shoyo! Oh my god! Wait!” Tsukishima flinched when he heard Yamaguchi shouting. It was one of the rarest things in Tsukishima’s life. Yamaguchi is naturally a calm person and Tsukishima only heard him shout four times ever since they became friends.

“What? I’m just gonna get some water,” It was Hinata’s chirpy voice, Tsukishima deadpanned without a doubt. “Oh! Tsukishima!”

He frowned when Hinata ran to him and acted like he was about to hug him but thankfully, the shorter guy did not try to do it. Yamaguchi went down right after and sighed and behind him was Kageyama and Yachi.

Kuroo watched Kei as he gets interviewed by his friends, specifically Hinata and Yamaguchi, asking him if he’s already okay. Kuroo smiled when Tsukishima’s frown just got worse when Kageyama told him that the legendary and hard to get strawberry cake was available at the cafeteria earlier.

As an attempt to drift the topic from him, Tsukishima introduced Kuroo to them. Kuroo greeted them and was able to finally remember their names because the meet and greet that happened earlier was too hard and nerve-racking for Kuroo. It went well and Hinata was already warming up to him. Along with the conversation, Kuroo learned that the five of them went to the same high school and college. No wonder they all looked so close.

When they moved to the living room, Hinata was talking frantically about how cute his 2-month-old corgi is. Yachi also joined the conversation to share what her cat did to her homework when they were in third year. She grimaced when she told them how nervous she was when her teacher asked where is her homework.

“It's not like I can say that my cat ate my homework! It's very unbelievable,” She said that made Hinata end up laughing until he was out of breath while slapping Kageyama’s shoulder that earned him a smack on his head from his boyfriend.

A few moments after, Terushima came in with a tired face but his face lightened up when he saw everyone in the living room. He quickly hugged Yachi and Hinata and gave an energetic hello to Kuroo and Kageyama upon seeing them. Terushima sat beside Tsukishima and he told them that he left his work early by fake fainting because he was too stressed with everything about his work. Hinata said ‘cool!’ while Yachi was worried to death that his boss might fire him but Terushima just laughed at her, clearly not worried at all.

Yamaguchi grabbed his gigantic Jenga blocks and they all decided to play while waiting for the pie to settle down. At first, the penalty was just a flick on the forehead but when Akaashi went home with bottles of sake, the tables have turned. The penalty was suddenly drinking two shots and no one could argue with Akaashi when Terushima backed him up. The living room became a mess, they were hollering when Hinata drank his sixth shot. Kageyama tried to stop him and asked him to stop playing because he was already drunk but Tsukishima mocked him by saying that his brain might be the same size as an ostrich’s.

The game went on and they were getting louder every minute. Terushima was already playing his loud pop music and Yachi was worried that the neighbors might get mad but tipsy Akaashi waved his hand and said that the neighbors could fuck themselves.

Tsukishima was undeniably having fun and when he looked at Kuroo who was all smiles while talking to Kageyama, he assumed that he was having fun too. His gaze turned to his roommates who were huddled in the corner and whispering. Tsukishima wanted to pry in on them but he figured that they will tell him what they’re talking about later.

“Ah fuck,” Kageyama hissed when his drunk boyfriend dozed off of his lap. Akaashi told him to bring him to the guest room and let him sleep which Kageyama did in a flash.

“Tsukki, Tsukki,” Yamaguchi called and grabbed Tsukishima by his arm with a soft tug and they scooted farther from the other people.

“Why?” Tsukishima asked but Yamaguchi did not answer for a few seconds. “What's wrong, Yamaguchi?”

“Ah— eh, well, you see, I— ah,”

“Talk straight, please,”

“I knew that you and Kuroo-kun were doing something earlier and I’m just concerned because what if other people saw you? Ugh, what I mean is that be careful? I don’t know, god, this is embarrassing,” Yamaguchi said with his red face. Tsukishima’s face also turned into crimson red upon hearing him.

“How did you...”

“Well, I saw your reflection from the oven but I swear, I didn’t saw Kuroo-kun’s, uhm, you know,” Tsukishima wanted to punch himself for being too reckless. Oh, the embarrassment. Tsukishima was so close to losing his composure but he was able to hold himself together. That's why Yamaguchi was stopping Hinata earlier from going down. Good thing that he and Kuroo were already finished doing their business.

“Please don’t say anything to Keiji and Yuuji,” Tsukishima pleaded because it will be a heck of a mess if those two learned that Tsukishima did something inappropriate in the kitchen. It would cause a ruckus and thousands of questions that Tsukishima wouldn’t want to answer.

Yamaguchi nodded and Tsukishima thanked him. His freckled friend went back to Yachi’s side and watched as Terushima made the tall building of blocks fall. Tsukishima heard Kuroo’s laugh and saw how much the older man is enjoying what's happening. Kuroo already met all of his friends and even his family and it was something that Tsukishima never saw coming but seeing how Kuroo was having fun as he poured Terushima a shot, Tsukishima thought that its alright with a genuine smile.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Stay safe everyone! <3


	5. Chapter 5

The joy that Tsukishima felt when he got the last slice of the strawberry cake from the cafeteria was indescribable. He was smiling as he strides towards their usual table. There was Kageyama who’s eating his food peacefully while Yamaguchi eats too, but he kept on glancing at his girlfriend then smiling afterward as Yachi talks to Hinata whose voice is a little too loud.

He sat beside them and started to eat quietly. His friends’ voices were slowly boiling down in his ears as if they’re not talking anymore, gone even. All his focus was on his food. Tsukishima can’t even remember the last time that he ate a proper meal and he hated himself for this. Every time that he’s going to have an exam, Tsukishima locks himself from the world and just spends two or three days by just solely studying and slowly killing himself. He hated that even if he doesn’t really care about getting good grades, he’s still getting paranoid whenever he’s about to take a test.

But it's their final exam and it's over and all Kei needs to do is walk on the stage and get his diploma. Finally. Tsukishima finished his pasta in a few minutes then opened the lunch box that Akaashi gave to him earlier. It was twice the amount of food than Yamaguchi’s and the freckled boy completely understands why. Tsukishima needs to eat more especially after exams, not just strawberries, and dessert, but real food.

“Tsukishima, do you think that I’ll pass the finals and graduate?” Hinata asked after tapping Tsukishima’s arm to get his attention. Tsukishima was suddenly back to reality. He blinked at the orange-haired boy as he let the question sink into his brain.

“Can crows swim?” He asked instead that made Hinata furrow his eyebrows as he thinks of the answer. Yamaguchi was stifling his laugh as he already knows whats the meaning of Tsukishima’s question. He’s been with him to know all of his dry humor and heartless comments.

“I don’t think so but I can search it if you really want to know Tsu—“

“Then I don’t also think that you’ll graduate,” Tsukishima had his straight face as Hinata started to ramble incoherent words as he acts like crying while asking Kageyama if thinks so too. Yachi and Yamaguchi did their best to comfort Hinata. Tsukishima just ate his lunch, clearly unbothered that he’s the reason why a ruckus started.

“Hey, Shoyo,” All of them looked at the person who just talked and Tsukishima was sure that he saw Kageyama’s jaw tightened when Hinata squealed upon seeing the man.

“Kenma!” He stood up and hugged the long-haired man tightly. “I’m gonna talk to him for a sec,” Hinata was about to stand but Kageyama held his arm softly.

“Be quick or else your soup’s gonna get cold,” Kageyama said then leaned in to kiss Hinata’s lips before allowing him to go. When Hinata was nowhere to be found, Tsukishima raised his eyebrow at Kageyama. Tsukishima doesn’t want to interfere with his friends’ relationships but he knew that Kageyama was not a PDA person. Tsukishima was there when Hinata and Kageyama got together but he never saw Kageyama do something clingy in front of others, until now.

“What's that?” The blonde asked but Kageyama just ate his food, his jaw moving too fast because of chewing too hard and fast. He looked at Yamaguchi and Yachi but the two only shrugged. Tsukishima actually had the energy to pry more and it was not like him but he wanted to see Kageyama unravel and share what's happening for the first time. “C’mon, King— oh,” His phone vibrated in his pocket that made Tsukishima halt his question and just open his phone.

_**From: Kuroo Tetsurou** _

_5:21 pm_

_Hey! Should I go to ur house today?_

**_To: Kuroo Tetsurou_ **

_5:21 pm_

_Sure thing._

**_To: Kuroo Tetsurou_ **

_5:22 pm_

_Actually, I still need to go buy your ingredients. Just go tomorrow?_

**_From: Kuroo Tetsurou_ **

_5:22 pm_

_I’ll go with you then. Are you still at the univ?_

**_To: Kuroo Tetsurou_ **

_5:22 pm_

_Yeah. I’ll be out in ten minutes. See you._

“Who was that, Tsukki?” Yamaguchi asked, his elbows propped on the table while leaning a bit to Tsukishima.

“It's Kuroo and I'm going to do the groceries today,” Tsukishima continued to eat, completely forgetting the issue about Kageyama and his unresolved jealousness.

“With Kuroo?” Yamaguchi’s eyebrows raised, his tone accusing. Tsukishima only nodded because he was sure that if he responded to him by talking, Yamaguchi will just ask questions and he would definitely demand answers, influenced by Akaashi and Terushima’s attitude.

“Is Kuroo-kun your boyfriend, Kei?” Yachi inquired as to her curiosity ooze around the table. The question made Kageyama stop eating and looked over Tsukishima too for an answer.

Tsukishima wanted to tell Yachi to shut up but the way she called him by his first name was too soft. Yachi is a sweet and too fidgety person and Tsukishima knew that he could never snap at her. Instead of shutting her with a spiteful remark, he looked at her and kept his face expressionless.

“No, he’s just a friend,” Tsukishima declared with a stern voice. He felt shivers on his arm at the word friend. Did he just consider Kuroo as his friend?

Tsukishima almost opted to just stare at nothing and think of the reason why did he suddenly considered Kuroo as his friend. He just known him for less than a month and knowing himself, he knew that it was impossible. Yamaguchi and Tsukishima have been friends since elementary and by that time, Tsukishima was actually very approachable making Yamaguchi have his easy way to him. Tsukishima didn’t really like Terushima and Akaashi when they first met in a volleyball match but the pair already listed themselves on Tsukishima’s friend's list and was persistent to make Tsukishima believe that they were true friends. Hinata and Kageyama were the people that Tsukishima can’t really tell when they did become friends or are they even? Oh, yes they are. Tsukishima knew this but he was too unbothered to comment or even think about it. Yachi just slipped in smoothly into his life and the fact that she’s the reason why Yamaguchi always smiles makes it even more smooth.

They all had their roads towards Tsukishima’s life but Tsukishima was sure that he never accepted anyone as a friend within a month. He couldn’t decide whether its a good or a bad thing. Tsukishima was never the indecisive type of person. What he thinks is what he says immediately but Kuroo.. Kuroo was—

**_From: Kuroo Tetsurou_ **

_5:33 pm_

_Already at the main gate_

“Ah fuck,” Tsukishima grabbed his bag in a hurry as he swallowed the last of his food. “I’ll be going now,” He heard Yamaguchi and Yachi saying goodbyes but Kageyama stayed silent and Tsukishima figured that maybe because ten minutes have past but Hinata still hasn’t come back.

Kei sprinted along the hallway and the stairs even though a couple of signs of running on the campus is prohibited are posted every corner. He felt silly, getting all worked up just because Kuroo was already waiting yet he was the one who said that he’ll be there within ten minutes. His worry about Kuroo getting mad was washed away when he saw Kuroo leaning at the front seat’s door wearing a red shirt with a cat wearing a chef’s uniform. Kuroo was smiling at him and he doesn’t look angry. It was enough to make Tsukishima redeem his breathing.

“Kei,” Kuroo called out upon having Tsukishima face to face. Tsukishima panted and just nodded at Kuroo, making the older man smile. Tsukishima settled himself at the shotgun seat and was quite weirded out because its the first time that he'll be inside Kuroo's car. Both of them stayed silent for the past five minutes. Tsukishima texted his roommates to ask if they'll want something so he could buy it.

"How was school?" Kuroo asked that broke the ice around them. Tsukishima didn't stop himself to let out a loud laugh. He knew that Kuroo could be hilarious and weird sometimes but he never thought that he would ask Tsukishima that question like he's a grade school student. His laugh echoed in the car but he didn't care. Its been a while since he laughed until he's getting breathless. The finals really took a toll on him and Tsukishima felt undeniably nice.

"You're such a weirdo, Kuroo," Tsukishima snorted, the side of his eyes creasing at the same time when his lips were tugging up for a smile. Kuroo, on the other hand, was taken aback. It was the first time that he heard Tsuksihima laugh like there's no tomorrow. It was not nice to be called a weirdo but if Tsukishima would call him that while laughing, then he would gladly be a weirdo.

“Stop laughing at me or I’ll throw you out of my car, Tsukishima Kei,” Kuroo’s tone wasn’t something to be afraid of but Tsukishima’s laugh suddenly stopped.

_Tsukishima Kei._

It was the first time that Kuroo called him by his whole name in a while. His name sounded so foreign yet very familiar at the same time. He looked at Kuroo and met his gaze. Both of them leaned forward when the car came into a halt because of the stoplight giving off the same color of the strawberries that Tsukishima loves.

“What's wrong? Are you okay?” Tsukishima melted into the seat. It has been a while ever since someone asked him that. His mom and brother are far away, his friends were now used to him acting like he’s thirsty for perfect grades that they just let him be. No questions and other statements because its what the blonde always do.

Tsukishima just stared at Kuroo. He didn’t know how long but the stoplight turned green and he was forced to remove his gaze at the older man. Even though Tokyo doesn’t really have plenty of trees, there are still a few on the sidewalks. They were blossoming beautifully and Tsukishima could already spot a few foreigners. He continued to stare outside and let his emotions calm down because he doesn’t know what will happen if he will suddenly burst in front of a person that he barely knows.

“Kei, did I do something? I-I’m sorry if I did,” Kuroo whispered as soon as the car was parked. Tsukishima wanted to chastise Kuroo for saying sorry when in fact he did not do anything. It was Tsukishima’s fault. It was him being fatigue and literally worn-out as the formulas and deep vocabulary words that he memorized for a whole week inside his brain wants to spill all over the car seat.

“No,” Tsukishima mumbled but Kuroo wasn’t able to hear it so he removed his seat belt and faced Tsukishima. He doesn’t want to upset Tsukishima but he felt like he did. The last thing that Kuroo wants right now is to destroy whatever relationship that they have when it's just starting to sprout.

“Then what's the problem?” He asked with his softest voice. He wanted to reach out to the younger man and at least hold his arm to let him know that he’s just right there, ready to listen to his problem but Kuroo knew that he just cannot delve into Tsukishima.

The blonde sighed and crumbled.

“I’m just tired and stressed and wrecked,” Tsukishima said and Kuroo was able to see his dark eye bags, and did Tsukishima lost some weight? Kuroo’s eyes darkened. He just went to their house the day before yesterday and Tsukishima's physique was still the same. Lanky and tall but still lean. Yet, looking at him right now, Tsukishima’s wrist looked a lot slimmer. There was no way that a person could get that slim within three days, except for one thing.

“Were you eating the past few days?” Tsukishima felt his body tensed. He always gets sensitive whenever people ask him if he eats. He can’t eat a lot and that leads to other people asking him if he’s sick. He’s not sick at the very least but he gets very uncomfortable when they ask him to eat more.

“Well, I just ate lunch,” It was true but Kuroo did not seem to believe him and Tsukishima was getting uncomfortable with their set-up. Alone in the car at a parking lot with Kuroo looking at him intensely like he did something horrible. Tsukishima felt lame as Kuroo continues to read him.

“I feel like going for a ride tomorrow. Go with me? Destress yourself, Kei,” A ride didn’t sound so bad but the graduating students still need to go to the University and settle their clearance as well as other needed papers. But Kuroo’s genuine smile was pulling him towards the great idea of distressing himself. Tsukishima needs this and besides, another absence at the university won’t affect him. Another absent in which Kuroo is still the reason.

“Okay,” He smiled back then rolled his eyes playfully. The last time that he went road tripping was approximately last year with Yamaguchi, Yachi, Hinata, and Kageyama. All of them don’t have any plans so they just made Kageyama drive wherever. They ended up being lost but they found a discreet resort and Tsukishima was forced to sleep with everyone. Kageyama and Hinata’s snores were bothering and Yamaguchi was drooling too much. Yachi was the only sane one except when they swim and she thought that someone was watching them. It was chaos but Tsukishima enjoyed it but he just wished that his next road trip, now with Kuroo, only him, would be a lot better.

Kuroo smiled at him then nodded, satisfied with Tsukishima’s answer. They both got out of the car quietly and went inside the mall, heading to the shop that is solely for baking stuff. Tsukishima swore that he saw Kuroo’s eyes sparkle upon seeing the shop full of utensils for baking. Kuroo let his fingertips touch the wire cooling racks displayed. The vibrant colored rubber spatulas also caught his attention. The baking pans also varied in more diverse sizes and Kuroo already thought of the bread and pastries that he could do while using those baking pans.

As Kuroo wander around the store and gawk at the boring looking dough hooks and the fancy and too designed measuring cups and spoons, Tsukishima did his work and grabbed all the ingredients that are in the list that Kuroo made for him to buy. When he was about to pay, he saw Kuroo at the counter too, making his own purchase. Tsukishima didn’t saw what he bought but he was sure that he saw how big Kuroo’s smile was. After paying, they decided to put the baking stuff inside the car first so they won't be bringing all of it while going around the mall.

They went inside the supermarket and bought all of the things that Tsukishima’s roommates asked. As long as they would pay Tsukishima back, he wouldn’t mind. Kuroo actually scolded Tsukishima when he threw different varieties of strawberry flavored sweets such as lollipops, jellies, bubblegums, gummy bears, and many more. He put all of it back to its designated aisle and grabbed an armful of vegetables and fruits.

“Fuck you, Kuroo. Give them back to me,” Tsukishima spat at him but Kuroo was not having any of his attitudes. He pushed Tsukishima and stole the cart from him to stop the blonde from putting unnecessary foods in it. Tsukishima huffed but he was not able to do anything when Kuroo threatened that he’ll not be cooking for him anymore. Kuroo sure knows how to blackmail him the right way.

Tsukishima didn’t want to buy all the things that Kuroo grabbed so the older man was the one who paid for the vegetables. Kuroo could almost hear his wallet wailing because of its enormous loss but Kuroo shook his head to remove the building regret in his mind. Tsukishima needs to eat more real food and not just any sweets and tons of strawberries. Tsukishima rolls his eyes at him every minute and even flips a middle finger right at his face whenever there are no kids around them.

The time was unbelievably moving slower that made them decide to just eat out in a fast-food restaurant. As guilt went through his nerves, Tsukishima offered to pay for their dinner. Kuroo refused but the blonde was persistent so he gave up, making his wallet celebrate.

“Hey, Kei, did you know that I ate a ladybug when I was five?” Tsukishima literally choked on his soda making Kuroo panic and throw a handful of tissue at him.

“What the actual fuck?“

“Excuse you, I was still a kid at that time, I didn’t know that eating bugs were bad,” Kuroo said before biting on his burger. Tsukishima looked at him, horrified to the nth power that the person beside him ate bugs when he was a kid.

“You're gross, please get away from me,” Tsukishima said then moved his chair farther from Kuroo. The older man just laughed but scooted closer to the blonde. He placed his hand on Tsukishima’s shoulder and leaned close to his ears.

“But you said last time that you want me closer and deeper,” In a snap, Tsukishima was already red. His face was almost the same color as his shirt. Upon seeing this, Kuroo moved away while laughing his heart out. Tsukishima wanted to punch him countless times to get back to him for all the times that he drops inappropriate jokes or words to him. He now suspects that the source of entertainment of Kuroo is making him blush in deep red. It was annoying but Tsukishima couldn’t stop himself from blushing. His body and his annoyingly corrupted mind just react to what Kuroo says. Maybe it's his lack of experience in terms of these things. No one dares to say inappropriate things to Tsukishima Kei and it's not like he has someone who could do that to him. It was just Kuroo. Its embarrassing and Tsukishima just doesn’t know what to do whenever it happens.

“I’m going home,” Tsukishima said before shoving his phone inside his pocket and walking fast to get out of the establishment. Kuroo followed him, half laughing and half worried that he pissed Tsukishima off once again. When they reached the parking lot, Tsukishima hissed when he realized that they used Kuroo’s car to get there and not his car. He was about yo turn around and just hail a taxi but Kuroo stopped him.

“Look, Kei, I’m sorry—“ Tsukishima grabbed Kuroo’s collar and smashed their lips into an angry kiss to shut him up. Fucking hormones. Tsukishima was suddenly horny all of a sudden and he was getting mad at himself for being turned on with what Kuroo said. “What was that for?”

“Shut up and get into the car. I’m going for a ride,” Tsukishima said then released Kuroo’s collar and walked around the car and went inside it while panting hard because of their minute-long kiss. Kuroo quickly obliged even though his heart was already pounding hard in his chest. Tsukishima just kissed him hard and it was enough to wake his dick.

“Okay, where to?” He asked then revved the engine. Kuroo was not ready for an impromptu road trip but if it's with Tsukishima, then he would gladly go.

“My house,” Kuroo looked at Tsukishima whose chest was heaving hard and his eyes were fixated at the road.

“Eh? I thought that we’re going for a ride?”

“Yeah, I am,” Tsukishima looked at Kuroo and they stared at each other. Their eyes already screaming to continue what they started. “On you,”

-

Tsukishima’s breath hitched when he saw Kuroo at the doorstep. His hairstyle wasn’t new but it still had its effect on Tsukishima and he was wearing ripped jeans. Oh god, yes, those are ripped jeans. It was his first time seeing Kuroo in ripped jeans and it almost had Tsukishima salivating upon seeing how perfect the jeans fit Kuroo’s thighs because he loves it very much.

“Take care of my baby dino, Kuroo!” Akaashi said while waving at them. Kuroo nodded at him with a smile before moving to the side to let Tsukishima go outside. Tsukishima went straight ahead to the shotgun seat after saying a curt hello to the older man. He doesn’t need to let Kuroo know what he’s thinking about.

“So, are you ready, baby dino?” Kuroo wiggled his eyebrows at him and Tsukishima was utterly disgusted with his enthusiasm. It's just 7 in the morning and Tsukishima still wants to sleep but Kuroo insisted that it’ll be much better if they’re going to leave early. Tsukishima could feel Kuroo’s excitement as he searches up the places yesterday right after they finished their business and for some reason, Tsukishima didn’t have the heart to shatter Kuroo’s excitement.

“Shut the fuck up, bed hair freak and just drive, plus, god, stop calling me that,” Kuroo gripped his chest and turned his expression into a hurt one. He then started to moan to back up his terrible acting and it brought Tsukishima to the brink of not going with Kuroo. “If you’re going to be like this then you can go alone—“

“This bed hair freak will now shut the fuck up and just drive, roger that!” Tsukishima rolled his eyes when Kuroo started to drive but of course, the silence around them just lasted for ten minutes. Kuroo just couldn’t shut up and it was already tested and proven by Tsukishima. He’ll just shut up for ten minutes and if Tsukishima’s lucky, it’ll be fifteen minutes.

Within three and a half weeks, Kuroo is already close to all of Tsukishima’s friends. His roommates would always chat with him whenever they’re in the house. Yamaguchi and Yachi would talk to him about the documentaries about the endangered species all over the world while his and Terushima’s topics would always be something about action movies and sometimes about inappropriate things wherein they would educate each other. But with Hinata, their topics were always just random that Tsukishima couldn’t keep up sometimes. Kageyama just stays beside Hinata and slips into the conversation sometimes. Akaashi often talks to him about foods and Kuroo shared his knowledge happily or sometimes, they would laugh and talk about Bokuto’s idiotic moments.

Tsukishima already warmed up with Bokuto after meeting him for a few minutes whenever he goes to their house to be with Akaashi. He learned how to trust Akaashi’s judgment just like what Yamaguchi advised him to and Bokuto seems like a good man based on Kuroo and Akaashi's stories.

“Shit! Here comes my song!” Kuroo said then tapped the steering wheel in time with the beats in the song. Tsukishima rubbed his temples while his eyes were closed. _“I’m gonna be a mighty king, so enemies beware!”_

“What the—“

“Quiet, Kei, let me sing— _I’m brushing up on looking down, I’m working with my roar!_ ” Kuroo was a child inside and no one could change Tsukishima’s mind. He was singing Disney songs for almost an hour now and its almost amusing because Kuroo seems that he memorized every song by heart.

Kuroo insisted Tsukishima to sing along with him and bribed him with a handful of strawberries that he brought. Tsukishima sang a few lines with Kuroo when The Little Mermaid’s Part of Your World played. Kuroo teased him because he was able to sing along. It was all thanks to Yamaguchi and Yachi’s never-ending replay of that certain song.

Both of them were sucking on a lollipop when Kuroo finally told him where will they go. Kuroo decided to go around the prefecture of Shizuoka for the whole day. Tsukishima hated to admit it but the thought of Kuroo bringing him to mystery places sends a different kind of heat in his chest. There’s still a tiny doubt in Tsukishima’s brain of Kuroo being a murderer who's just befriending Tsukishima in order to kill him but the fact the Kuroo was now singing The Princess and the Frog’s Almost There counters that doubt. Kuroo is just a precious small child trapped in a 24-year-old man’s body with a permanent bed hair.

“Do you think that you’ll kiss a frog when it came to you asking for help?” The image of a small slimy and too greeny creature popped in Tsukishima’s mind. It was more than enough to make him feel like throwing up.

“A big fat no,” Kuroo glanced at Tsukishima who looked like he was already thinking of the ways to kill the frog who would ask him for a kiss. There’s nothing cute about it but Kuroo wanted to stop the car and just place a small kiss on Tsukishima’s cheek.

After three and a half-hour of singing and Kuroo terrible impersonation of the princes in the children’s movies, they finally reached their first destination, the Hamamatsu Flower Park. Kuroo paid for the entrance fee as Tsukishima stared at the park in front of them. He heard stories about this certain park many times now and even told himself that he should go sometime but that some time was long forgotten. College consumed almost all of his time and his only rest and hurrah are whenever they go to the bar to unwind.

“Like it?” Kuroo asked as soon as they stepped inside the park. The flowers welcomed them and it almost made Tsukishima cry. He nodded without looking at Kuroo, his eyes were still staring at the vast varieties of plants in front of him. His fingers clutched to the strap of his small bag. He wanted to enjoy and breathe in the scenery in front of him but he didn’t know-how. He doesn’t have any idea on how to enjoy without dancing under the scant amount of neon lights.

They just stood there at the entrance of the park as Kuroo let Tsukishima overcome what he’s feeling. He couldn’t point out what it really was but he could see Tsukishima’s hands fidgeting. He might be overwhelmed but Kuroo wasn’t really sure. All he knows is that Tsukishima is in love with plants and if today goes well, he would definitely thank Yamaguchi for telling him that.

“Let’s go around? Its already late March so the plum blossoms should be in full bloom now,” Kuroo told him with a soft voice, still figuring with how to act around Tsukishima. The blonde is always quiet and he talks back a lot but Tsukishima’s quietness at the moment was new. It was nothing like the discreet eye rolls that he does and especially his spiteful remarks. This was Tsukishima whose speechless because of colorful flowers.

Kuroo grabbed Tsukishima by the hand and they started walking around. Tsukishima was just quiet while looking at the plants around them. The tulips that were about to blossom caught Tsukishima’s attention. Kuroo sensed it so he stopped walking and let go of Tsukishima’s hand for a while. The electricity that he got from holding the blonde’s hand was already too much. He could use some rest before holding it again or else he might just explode from the satisfying heat and sparks from Tsukishima.

The younger man opened his backpack and took out his camera. He adjusted the lens and focused on the tulips. They were still not in full bloom but Tsukishima could already see how beautiful they were. He happily captures a couple of pictures, the red, white, and yellow invading the camera’s lens. Tsukishima smiled and looks up just to see the cherry blossoms. He focused the camera on the trees and captured a few more pictures. The vicinity was big and Tsukishima couldn’t wait to go around all of it and take hundreds of pictures.

“I love spring so much,” Tsukishima said, his words enough to fill Kuroo’s heart with love. Kuroo hummed and watched Tsukishima do his best to get the perfect angle. He fished out his phone from his coat’s pocket and simply took a picture of a rare smiling Tsukishima. He snapped a few more, admiring Tsukishima’s side view. But as he continuously presses the capture button, Tsukishima was slowly turning towards the camera and in a flash, he was already walking towards him.

Kuroo was waiting for Tsukishima to say something along the line of ‘delete that or I will delete you from this world,’ but instead, he showed him his camera and the pictures that he just took. They were great so Kuroo complimented him and Tsukishima Kei actually got shy from that. Kuroo thanked the heavens because he was able to see some of the different sides of Tsukishima and it was making him fall, too fast, too hard.

As they walk around the park, Kuroo was able to force Tsukishima to take a picture with him under the pretty plum blossoms. They asked a random stranger to take their picture and the two men stood beside each other, both reaching some of the branches because of their tallness.

_3.. 2.. 1.._

It was a picture that Kuroo would treasure. He was even thinking of printing it and putting in a picture frame and placing it on his nightstand. Kuroo was looking at Tsukishima as the blonde looked at the falling petals of the plum blossoms because of the sudden gush of wind with such gleaming eyes. Kuroo looked like a fool in love and he wished that Tsukishima would be oblivious of that fact. He could clearly see that Tsukishima was not into commitments and he’s not going to ask him why nor he’s going to push his luck because what's important is that Tsukishima is with him right now.

Tsukishima thought that riding the cute small train as a vehicle to tour around the park would be obnoxious but as soon as they hopped in, he wanted to thank Kuroo for forcing him because he enjoyed it. The air was fresh and breathing felt too good to be true. Tsukishima wanted to spread his arms and scream at the top of his lungs but there were people and it wouldn’t look appropriate to see a 6-foot tall man screaming and acting like a child so he behaved himself and tried to contain his wants.

Kuroo was already talking to the kid in front of them and Tsukishima got jealous of how easy he can talk to other people. The kid was giggling when Kuroo impersonated the kid’s favorite prince. Some of the kids were also looking and it was quite a sight, Kuroo singing and entertaining the kids with his awful acting. Tsukishima felt ashamed at first because of Kuroo but as he hears more giggles from the children, the feeling of being ashamed was replaced with an easy and fuzzy feeling. Tsukishima couldn’t describe it so he just opened his camera and took a video of what's happening and _accidentally_ zooming on Kuroo’s face.

It was already past noon when Tsukishima complained that his feet already hurt from too much walking. Kuroo wanted to ride the Ferris wheel first but stopped himself because Tsukishima’s welfare should be his priority because this trip was planned just for Tsukishima. Three pictures of them together and almost fifty stolen shots of Tsukishima was more than enough.

They agreed to eat at the closest restaurant in the flower garden. Tsukishima insisted to split the bill to be fair. Tsukishima tried to coax Kuroo to tell him their next destination but Kuroo sternly said no. Tsukishima rolled his eyes but figured that keeping it as a secret would make it more exciting. The anticipation builds up in his chest as they eat their lunch and had the strawberries from Kuroo as their dessert. They went back into the car, the sunlight was too much that they needed to wear sunglasses.

“I have a spare one there in the compartment, you can use that,” Kuroo said and Tsukishima did his best to find the sunglasses as soon as possible because the sunlight was hurting his eyes too much. It looked silly but Tsukishima wore the sunglasses over his eyeglasses. It made Kuroo laugh and even with the sunglasses on, Tsukishima could see him clearly in vibrant colors and glitters even though his mouth is spewing playful insults about Tsukishima having six eyes.

The second ride took longer than what Tsukishima expected. It was already an hour but he felt like they’re still not close to their destination. His eyes gave up, leading him to take a nap. Kuroo figured that he was tired from all the walking that they did earlier. He stopped the car and grabbed a cap from the backseat and put it gently on Tsukishima’s head to protect his face from the sunlight. He took a few snaps and felt happy to see Tsukishima wearing his cap. Kuroo continued to drive after stretching his arms and legs. Driving for hours is a hassle but as he looked over his left, it was suddenly worth it.

“Tsukishima Kei, you need to wake up now, we’re here,” Kuroo said as he gently pats Tsukishima’s arm. The blonde woke up and looked around him, only to see Kuroo who is smiling brightly at him.

“Where are we?” He asked but Kuroo didn’t answer. They got out of the car and walked and Kuroo almost died when Tsukishima didn’t remove his cap. “Holy...”

“I know, beautiful, right?” Tsukishima stared hard. The vast sea spreading in front of them as the waves splashes hard at the rocks beneath them. The wind was violent but calming at the same time and it was brushing on his face.

“Where are we? I— god this place is.."

“At Jogasaki Coast. Too stunning. It's my first time here too,” Kuroo said while looking at Tsukishima. Oh, how he wanted to grab him by the waist and kiss him slowly in front of the sea, the fierce wind and the setting sun.

“Yeah,” They found a bench and sat on it as the both of them watch the sunset slowly and surely as it colors the sky with deep orange, soft lilac, and intense yellow. He closed his eyes after taking a picture of the scenery. Tsukishima breathed in and out, satisfaction coming out in every of his exhale.

Kuroo wanted to run his hands on Tsukishima’s blonde locks when he removed the cap. His hair moving along with the wind beautifully. Tsukishima looks like he came straight from the Greek gods' book with the golden sunlight painting his pale skin. He was glowing and Kuroo was scared that he might now be real because he was too immaculate.

“Hey,” Tsukishima called that made Kuroo look at him, his eyes anticipating something that Tsukishima can’t fathom but he did his best and looked at him and let out the words that he wanted to say from the beginning as genuine as he can.

“Thank you, Tetsurou,”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for the kudos, everyone, and please stay safe :< Nonetheless, I hope that you're enjoying this! So much love <3


	6. Chapter 6

"Mom, please stop crying," Kei said before reaching down to Asami and wiping her tears with his thumb. Asami chuckled and brought out her already damp handkerchief. She already vowed not to cry again when it is Kei's turn to graduate after her make up got smudged real bad when she cried on Akiteru's graduation.

"Cry later, Mom, our photographer is waiting," Akiteru kidded and Terushima stuck his tongue out at him. Akaashi did the counting and the three blondes stood straight and smiled— at least Kei tried. Terushima took 10 photos to make sure that there are at least two or three good photos.

As soon as the family picture was taken, Yamaguchi came to them. Asami and Yamaguchi's parents talked while the group took a picture. Terushima held Yamaguchi's arm and did a peace sign with his other hand while Akaashi completely hugged Tsukishima's right arm.

"Smile better, you hoe!" Akaashi said and squeezed Tsukishima's cheeks to force him to smile. Tsukishima did his best not to throw the bouquet in his hands to Akaashi's annoying face. Yamaguchi and Terushima giggled and forced Tsukishima more. Completely eager to end the picture taking part, Tsukishima let out his biggest smile, his cheeks high and the side of his lips curled up. Akiteru quickly captured every moment and made fun of how it didn't suit Kei and that he looks like an imp when he smiles.

"Tsukishima! Yamaguchi! Oh, excuse me," They all saw Hinata with Kageyama on his side happily walking to them through the massive number of people, all taking pictures with the graduates holding a bouquet. Everyone was smiling and the sound of the shutter of the camera can be heard everywhere. Everyone's happy and Tsukishima knew that he should be too. Its the grand day that they're all waiting for.

"We need a picture! I'm going to get Yachi first!" Yamaguchi said enthusiastically before dissolving into the crowd.

"I graduated, Tsukishima! Then maybe crows could swim too!" Hinata said making Kageyama smile and Tsukishima assumes that the two have already solved their problem.

"But my grades are still higher than yours,"

"Well, it's 'cause you're a nerd plus you're a stick filled with utter intelligence and I can't emphasize this enough but you're also full of salt!" Hinata continues to say mean things to Tsukishima that made his brother and his friends laugh at the remarks, even Kageyama started to chuckle. Tsukishima clicked his tongue in annoyance, his brain working twice faster than usual as he thinks of the insults for Hinata, or he could just jump on him and break his neck right now, right here.

"Yachi's here!" Yamaguchi said, panting as he held Yachi's hand right before Tsukishima could say anything. This made him hiss and Hinata congratulated himself from finally winning a diss competition between him and the blonde. Hinata and Yamaguchi were the only ones who acknowledge the competition since they started college but for the record, this is the only time that Hinata won, or so he thought.

The five graduates huddled with Yachi in the middle, Yamaguchi, and Tsukishima on her left and Hinata and Kageyama on her right. They all smiled for the picture and as soon as it was over, Asami pulled Yachi and complimented her Houmongi kimono. Hinata talked to Terushima and their liveliness was too blinding. Tsukishima was left with Akaashi who was just silent, his arms automatically wrapped on Tsukishima's arm. It felt awkward but calming at the same time.

Tsukishima breathed in a mouthful of air to relax even more. He dreamt of this day whenever he's too tired because of school but now that it's here, he suddenly wants to go back inside of the building and get his laptop and notes to study again. He didn't get to savor their last time eating together in the cafeteria, the last time that he sat for an hour and a half listening to his professor's lectures, the last time that he went to the library to borrow a book for his research and the librarian greets him because he has always been in the library that she already knows him. All the little things yet Tsukishima felt like they were too important, too big to forget.

"Kei!" Tsukishima almost choked on his saliva when he saw Kuroo running towards him with a bouquet in his hands. When did running make someone this attractive again?

"I felt like you forgot to tell him so I did," Akaashi whispered before removing his arms from Tsukishima to give them space. Kuroo walked closer with a bashful grin on his face. As soon as they were face to face, he handed him the bouquet and Tsukishima had the urge to bury his face into the flowers because it smells so so good.

"Sorry, I'm late. There was no one to cover my shift so I needed to wait. God, I'm really sorry, Kei,"

"N-no," Tsukishima muttered, still can't believe his eyes and ears. There was nothing so special with Kuroo's outfit. It's just jeans and a white button-up and his hair was still the same so why does Tsukishima's heart was pounding so bad? "It's okay, I-I'm glad that you came, sorry for not telling you,"

Kuroo shook his head as a response and walked closer to Tsukishima. He opened his arms, clearly asking for a hug but Tsukishima was frozen in place. He just stared at Kuroo for seconds, still not knowing what to do. He was contemplating whether to submit or not. Tsukishima was on the verge of saying a sassy remark to hide how taken aback he was when Kuroo closed the distance between them.

Tsukishima thought that he was melting, melting into Kuroo's arms and warmth as he hugs him tighter. It felt scandalous and foreign for him, no one really hugs him like this in public, but that worry was dissolving too fast in the sensation. How can a mere hug affect him this much?

"Congratulations, Kei. I know that I only met you just when you're about to graduate but I'm proud of you," Kuroo whispered against his ear like what he said was just for Tsukishima alone. Tsukishima bit his bottom lip as he felt tears gushing into his eyes. Kuroo's warmth was one thing and his words were really simple, Tsukishima heard a congratulatory speech that was a lot better but Kuroo's was the best. Tsukishima lifted his hands that were both occupied by bouquets, it might look silly but Tsukishima didn't care, he wanted to hug Kuroo back.

But Akiteru cleared his throat and this distracted them. Kuroo removed his hands quickly before Tsukishima could hug him back. Terushima slapped Akiteru real hard on his shoulder that made the older man yelp in pain. Kuroo chuckled and lightly rubbed his nape, thinking that maybe he hugged Tsukishima a little too long for his liking.

Tsukishima never felt so irritated by his brother in his life. He was so close to letting Kuroo feel that he was more than thankful for having him around even if he doesn't really want to admit it but Akiteru really needed to ruin the moment because of his overprotectiveness. But as he glanced at Kuroo, Tsukishima figured that maybe it was for the better. He didn't want to give Kuroo false hope that will make him yearn for something that Tsukishima couldn't give.

"You two should take a picture!" Akaashi said and grabbed the camera from Akiteru then Terushima grabbed Akiteru and brought him somewhere where he couldn't interfere with his younger brother. "Get closer, you rooster. My baby Dino would not adjust for you, you know,"

And so Kuroo moved closer but Tsukishima wanted to move farther because of the thought that maybe Kuroo could hear the thump and skips of his heart.

Tsukishima stood still, his grip on the bouquets getting tighter every second that he could hear the stems of the flower breaking. They were towering each other, Tsukishima being tall by just a few centimeters but they were definitely a cut above the crowd. Two 6-feet gay men standing beside each other awkwardly for a picture. Tsukishima wanted to scoff at himself.

"Ready?" Akaashi asks and Kuroo looked at Tsukishima that made him roll his eyes before facing the camera while keeping the smile on his lips. Kuroo tilted his head a bit on the side, towards Tsukishima, beaming at the camera with the best smile that he could do. He wanted to hold him by his hips or maybe hold his hand but the bouquets were on his way and Akiteru would probably punch him.

_Next time, when Tsukishima (and Akiteru) is already comfortable with that._

"The suit suites you so well," Kuroo muttered, earning him a soft blush from Tsukishima. Kuroo's smile even got bigger, as he sees the pink hue on the blonde's cheeks from his peripheral vision. He loves it when Tsukishima blushes, which is really rare because his skin is so pale that even a faint blush would seem so noticeable. There's always this rewarding feeling whenever he successfully makes Tsukishima blush and ah, his whole body is still on fire because of the hug.

They've been sleeping with each other now for weeks, but this was the first time that they hugged. And Kuroo would pay thousands of money just to prolong the feeling of Tsukishima's body on his, not sexually, just him and Tsukishima, both fully clothed, in public for all he cares. He wanted to hug him again. Kuroo bit his inner cheek upon realizing that he's starving for weeks now that he was able to taste Tsukishima's hug.

"Kuroo-kun!" Asami called out excitedly, grabbing the attention of both Kuroo and her youngest. Kuroo shot a glance at Tsukishima and apologized with a smile before going to Asami. "I didn't know that you're going to be here. Did you two already took a picture?"

"Yeah—"

"Come on, let's take one," Asami gestured the two men to huddle together so she could take a picture from her Instax. Tsukishima couldn't stop her by seeing how excited she was to use her newly bought Instax for the first time.

"Sorry," Tsukishima whispered but Kuroo just responded with a light laugh before the two of them faced the camera and smile.

"No, no, do this," Asami did the peace sign excitedly. "Yuuji did that earlier and the youngsters always do that, right?" She nudged Yachi who just nodded cheerfully. Tsukishima thought if its rational to just bang his head on the university's gate rather than do a peace sign for a picture. He just wanted to get his diploma and consume a whole strawberry cake by himself as a reward but here he was, being forced to smile bigger and do a peace sign consecutively.

_Bear with her. She's your mother._

Tsukishima gave the other bouquet to Kuroo and lifted his right hand and awkwardly put up a peace sign. All of his friends laughed but Hinata's was the loudest. Yamaguchi took out his phone and captured this once in a lifetime moment. Their laughs attracted people and they started to look at the cause of their loud voices and cheers. Tsukishima wanted to commit suicide already.

When Asami took the photo, she waits for the film and shook it in the air rapidly. Kuroo went to his side and waited for the photo to become visible too. Tsukishima rolled his eyes at them and just took his time to properly smell the flowers that Kuroo gave him. It was a mix of blueish and purple hyacinths with a couple of white roses and lilies. He closed his eyes and breathed in the fresh and calming scent of the flowers.

Tsukishima didn't know what happened to the picture, not that he cares anyways. He was more than happy when everyone decided that they took enough pictures to remember this day. His cheeks were aching already from too much fake smiling but it made the people happy so maybe he could let it slide for today. Terushima was even able to take a picture with Akiteru that made the younger guy fleeting in the air because of happiness. They were all walking toward the university's parking lot when Asami let out a loud gasp.

"I'm going to be late for lunch! I promised them that I'll be there on time," She said frantically while looking at her watch. "Kei, honey, we talked about this, right?" Tsukishima nodded. "But you're going to be alone,"

Asami pouted and Tsukishima wanted to tell her that she's not that young anymore to pout whenever she wants in public. Asami looked around, still worried because Tsukishima would be alone. Terushima, Akaashi, and Akiteru need to work and Yamaguchi will surely be with his family and Kei would go home alone.

"Kuroo-kun!" Asami suddenly shouted and the dark-haired man looked at her in shock. "Are you free tomorrow?"

"Mom, god, I can go there by myself. Stop pulling people—"

"Can you accompany Kei tomorrow?"

"Ah fuck," Tsukishima whispered under his breath. Asami looks at him sharply.

"You were saying something, Tsukishima Kei?" Tsukishima rolled his eyes and shook his head. For a fleeting moment, Kuroo finally saw where Kei got his sassy attitude. This made him smile but then Asami turned her head towards him once again and suddenly he was nervous with what's about to come. "Kei's about to go home tomorrow so I was wondering if you could go with him and make sure that he's safe?"

Akiteru snorted and then it was followed by Terushima and Akaashi's laughter. Tsukishima could only curse his existence and roll his eyes at Asami. She's always been babying Tsukishima ever since and it was something that the blonde couldn't get away with.

Kuroo, on the other hand, was taken aback with the request. Get on a train with Tsukishima for hours? Go to his hometown? Be able to see where Kei grew up? Hell yeah.

"Of course! I-I mean if Kei would want me to," Kuroo said, his smile sheepish then looked at Tsukishima. The blonde rolled his eyes in annoyance. Kuroo already said yes and there's no way that Asami would let the opportunity slide away. It's just yes or yes.

"Do what you want," Asami smiled in victory then she hugged each and everyone before saying goodbye, and in a second, she was off to Miyagi to have lunch with her friends. Terushima get in Akiteru's car and were the first ones to go home and Akaashi already made himself comfortable in Tsukishima's front seat while doing something on his phone.

Tsukishima and Kuroo faced each other in front of Tsukishima's car. Kuroo tucked both of his hands in his pockets while Tsukishima fiddled with his.

_Awkward, but good awkward. Does that even exist?_

"So, we were planning to go to Indigo later and kind of celebrate. It's all on Akaashi and Terushima. You want to come?" Tsukishima felt like he was inviting Kuroo to a birthday party. Silly, but Kuroo didn't seem to mind. In fact, he even smiled and nodded at the blonde.

"11?" Kuroo asked.

"11," Tsukishima confirmed before opening his car. Kuroo smiled once more before walking towards the opposite direction because it is where his car lies and turned around once more only to find Tsukishima's car nowhere but he walked happily, clearly anticipating to see Tsukishima later while holding the film of their picture earlier tightly but gently at the same time.

—

It took Terushima and Akaashi three hours before they made Akiteru say yes to go with them to Indigo. He asked Tsukishima for help but his younger brother just smirked at him.

The last time that they went to Indigo was when Tsukishima met Kuroo and his life has been a roller coaster ride ever since. He needed a break and Tsukishima was sure that this is what he needed. Free drinks, courtesy of Akaashi and Terushima's kindness, saying that that is going to be their graduation present for their friends.

As soon as their family lunch ended, Yamaguchi, Hinata, and Kageyama went to their house to ask for help with what they're going to wear. Yamaguchi seldom goes to any bar with them and Hinata and Kageyama never been into one despite being of legal age. They also invited Yachi but she declined, saying that it might be a little too wild for her then threatened Yamaguchi to stay loyal.

Tsukishima flicked his head when he realized that the day wouldn't be quiet at all. It was too bold of him to assume that it'll be quiet but his mind didn't think of the possibility that Hinata might come running to them asking what to wear. But maybe it's okay because the orange-haired boy seemed like the type of person who will wear something awful to shame himself. Tsukishima could trust Kageyama more in terms of fashion.

Tsukishima was contemplating whether to wear his fishnet tights or not because it might look too much. He groaned upon trying it on. Who cares if it's too much? He just graduated, he can do whatever he wants. He put on his baggy pants and it perfectly complimented his fishnet tights. He threw in a black shirt that shows more than his lower abs when it rides up, and a black pearl designed choker that Akaashi gave him for his birthday. As per usual, he asked his friends to do his make up but saw that they're already working on Hinata.

Hinata looked like a decent human being and Tsukishima could already feel the sexual tension between Kageyama and Hinata, probably because of the smaller guy's too exposed collarbones. Tsukishima pushed off the thoughts and went into Yamaguchi's room to check on his best friend.

"Help me, Tsukki," The freckled boy said while showcasing two clothes in front of Tsukishima. The blonde almost laughed at him but he stopped himself. Yamaguchi doesn't need any teasing, it might make him sway his decision to actually come with them. So, Tsukishima walked closer to him and picked the simple white button-up shirt with a few aesthetic prints on the hem. Its better to play safe and it's not like Yamaguchi will go to the bar to swing some girls and sleep with them. He's too in love with Yachi based on Tsukishima's memories.

Akiteru drove with an uneasy feeling, Tsukishima figures that it might be because he's never been into a bar or maybe because he was quite shocked with his friends and brother's appearance for the night but Tsukishima couldn't care less. He wanted to enjoy the night to the fullest.

The bouncers nodded at them after showing their IDs. The aura of the bar was still the same, smoky yet full of energy. They went to the VIP part of the bar, which is on the second floor, thanks to Terushima's connection. They ordered a dozen bottles of beer and a bottle of premium vodka with a few bottles of drinks as chasers.

"Okay, this is for you, baby Hinata, and you..." Akaashi passed the drinks to each and every one. Tsukishima wanted to go down already and indulge himself with different alcoholic drinks but doesn't want to spoil the night for his other friends who are virgins in terms of clubbing. "And this is for you, baby Dino!"

"Kuroo-kun!"

Okay. Maybe Tsukishima wouldn't mind staying for a while.

"Hey, hey, hey, Akaashi's friends!" Bokuto said and Akaashi introduced him to everyone. The greatly muscled man was loved by Hinata in a flash and their mouth started to blabber too much. Yamaguchi made some room for Kuroo beside Tsukishima and the blonde almost felt his whole body weakening when their knees touched against each other.

Kuroo was beside him again. Under the neon lights that he loves and his perfume was invading Tsukishima's whole existence. Tsukishima didn't know that he needed this in his life, Kuroo in black long sleeves with three of the buttons undid, showing his chest and Tsukishima had the urge to push it down and look at his pecs. He was feeling gayer than ever.

"Its different up here," Kuroo remarked after minutes of staying quiet and just enjoying his beer. Tsukishima poured himself another shot of vodka and drank it straight, quickly drinking the chaser afterward. The heat felt good in his throat that Tsukishima moaned in satisfaction.

"If I'm right, Yuuji banged the nephew of the owner of this so here we are," Tsukishima smirked, kind of proud of his friend who is currently purring against Akiteru. Hinata and Yamaguchi were talking to each other while Kageyama was just silently observing, shifting his eyes automatically to his beer whenever a girl wearing a plunging neckline and very short dress walks by. Bokuto and Akaashi were already making out at the corner of the red velvet couch that they're all sitting on.

"Wouldn't expect less from him," Kuroo said before swallowing a big gulp of beer. Tsukishima watched his adam's apple bobbed up and down as he drinks his beer. He doesn't usually want the air to be hot but Tsukishima was wishing for a higher temperature so that beads of sweat will form and it'll slide from Kuroo's jaw down to his neck so Tsukishima could stare at it.

"Okay, okay, shut the fuck up everyone," Akaashi said and they all turned their attention to him when he stood up and raised a bottle of beer. "Congratulations on graduating today. I'm very very proud of you all, and I hope that you will get fucked by your boyfriend or girlfriend, for all I care, every day and not by life!"

There are a few snickers around but it did not stop Akaashi. He stood up at the couch and raised the bottle even higher. Tsukishima was once amused with how low Akaashi's alcohol intolerance is because the man is clearly tipsy already.

"Fuck life!" Akaashi shouted and everyone raised their bottles too to toast to each other after repeating what Akaashi said. Once finished, Bokuto dragged him down and made him sit at the couch again to stop him from embarrassing himself.

"Have you ever tried cinnamon whiskey?" Kuroo whispered against Tsukishima's ear.

"Have you ever tried Boston sour?" He asked back and they were suddenly staring at each other. Tsukishima noticed that Kuroo was getting closer so he leaned closer and let his lips brush against Kuroo's. "Let's open a tab?"

"Then lets dance?" Tsukishima smirked at him, completely liking the atmosphere around him and with how close Kuroo is.

"Done," As soon as Tsukishima responded, Kuroo stood and went down with the blonde tailing on his back. The two men opened a tab using Tsukishima's card because he lost in a paper, scissors, rock game. Tsukishima ordered a glass of cinnamon whiskey while Kuroo tried the Boston sour.

After a single sip of their drink and liking it, they quickly went into the dance floor. It was crowded but none of the two really cares. What's important is that Kuroo's free hand is on Tsukishima's waist while both of the blonde's elbows were propped on Kuroo's shoulders. They were swaying along the chill music being played. Their hips were in sync while they took a sip of their drink once in a while.

"I like this," Kuroo said while grazing his thumb along with the garter of the fishnet tights around Tsukishima's waist. Tsukishima hummed then drank the last of his whiskey. "Mind if you'll take off everything later but not this?"

There it was. The question was more than enough to make Tsukishima's cock hard. He was starting to think if somethings wrong with his hormones because his sexual drive was becoming more and more of a mess as he sleeps with Kuroo continuously. But who cares? Kuroo was literally offering himself and asking Tsukishima for consent which makes him harder because fuck it, asking for consent is the sexiest thing on the planet.

"I'll think about it," Tsukishima purred before stealing Kuroo's glass and emptying it then licking his lower lip. He already made up his mind and he was sure that Kuroo knows this too by now. Wearing the fishnet tights was such a good decision.

—

Kuroo and Tsukishima waited for their train while leaning on a wall. Maybe fifteen or twenty glasses (Tsukishima wasn't able to count everything) of different cocktails and a bottle of beer with a few shots of pure vodka, a blowjob in the bar's restroom and three rounds of fucking in Tsukishima's room were not the best thing to do before going somewhere first thing in the morning.

Both of their heads were pounding and on the verge of death since their stamina was still not been replenished because they only had an hour of sleep. They haven't had breakfast because everyone was passed out from yesterday's celebration and they just woke up in time to not get late for the reservation that Asami did for them for the trip.

"Fuck— Kei, its here," Kuroo slurred, and grabbed Tsukishima's arm to help him go inside the train. They found their seats and slumped themselves on it. Even before their two-hour-long trip has started, Tsukishima was already sleeping, his head leaning on the window. Kuroo removed Tsukishima's eyeglasses and put it safely inside its case. He also closed the curtains to block the sunlight and let Tsukishima sleep peacefully. He shifted in his seat first then closed his eyes and tried to sleep with the hope of his hangover to go away as soon as he woke up.

Tsukishima was the first to wake up from his slumber and noticing that his glasses were missing and almost everything was blurry. He carefully used his hands to find his eyeglasses' case and found it on Kuroo's hands. Once he saw the world again clearly, his stomach growled and figured that its time for them to eat. His dizziness was slightly lessened from his one hour and a half nap but he assumes that may be why he's still dizzy is because he hasn't eaten anything yet.

He looked at his side and saw Kuroo sleeping. Should he wake him? But he looks really tired and he's sleeping peacefully but he hasn't eaten anything yet but he's also the one who cleaned the both of them before they went to sleep and— fuck it. Tsukishima didn't need to overthink things this shallow so he just gently shook Kuroo's shoulder to wake him up.

As Kuroo still adjusts from his nap, Tsukishima brought out the sandwiches that they bought from the convenience store earlier. They ate slowly in silence and just when Tsukishima finished his food, the train stopped and Kuroo pointed out that it was their stop already. The two men quickly got off of the train, feeling much better than they were before they got in.

Tsukishima led the way while he listens to Kuroo's plethora of nonsense stories but for some reason, it was able to make Tsukishima smile. Kuroo even showed him a picture when he accidentally cut his hair more than he intended too. It looked like a mohawk and when Kuroo said that he made it to the school's weekly entertainment print because of his disastrous hair, Tsukishima lost it. He held his stomach and laughed for almost a whole minute.

Kuroo asked him to share an embarrassing experience but Tsukishima declined. This made Kuroo's mood shift into something gloomy so Tsukishima was left with no choice. He told him that one time when a black-tailed gull stole his share of bluefin tuna when they were on a cruise. Tsukishima couldn't believe it that he cried and was so embarrassed after he realized what happened.

"Here we are," Tsukishima said and they stared at the house in front of them. Its been almost a year since he last came home because Asami was the one who always goes to him. He moves his feet before things start to invade his mind and open the gate. He pressed the doorbell and within a minute, Asami was already hugging him and Kuroo.

"Pretzel!" Tsukishima squealed as the Border Collie ran to him, automatically licking his hands and face. Tsukishima hugs her tightly and almost buries his face on the dog's fur. He kissed her a few times and the dog was showing how much she missed him too. Kuroo smiles and made sure to keep the moment in front of him in his head forever because Tsukishima Kei was laughing too much that he couldn't recognize the bitchy Kei anymore.

"Don't mind them, Pretzel is his sister more than Akiteru as his brother," Asami said while waving his hand to get the attention of Kuroo. She gestured him to go to the kitchen and offered him a glass of cold water. Kuroo happily receives it with both of his hands and continued on watching Tsukishima play with his dog. "Thank you again for being with Kei today. I promise to cook really good food as long as you're here. Oh, would you like some candles? You could take home lots of it,"

"Candles?" Tsukishima said as he approaches them with the dog behind him while wagging her tail in fervor. She notices Kuroo and started to sniff him. Kuroo stiffens at first but then relaxes when Pretzel licked his hand. Kuroo reached out and petted the dog's head, then her neck and Tsukishima could already say that Pretzel was already in-love with Kuroo.

"What's her name again?" Kuroo asks, still petting the dog.

"Pretzel," Tsukishima said proudly. He got the name of the dog from the food that he was eating at the time when he first saw her. Homemade pretzels by his mother and the dog were sweet too so Pretzels it is.

"What's with these candles again?" Tsukishima asked while raising his eyebrow at his mother. Asami chuckled nervously as she grabs another glass and pour some cold strawberry milk and gave it to Tsukishima.

"Well, I might or might not start selling candles," She said then smiled apologetically at Tsukishima that made the blonde groan. Kuroo didn't get where was their topic is about to go so he just busied himself with playing with Pretzel and becoming best friends with her already.

"I will succeed this time, I promise and I swear, it really is a fun hobby to have! You could try to do some while I'm at the grocery store buying some strawberry jellies," Asami said then pushed Tsukishima into a room full of the things needed to make candles.

"You're just trying to coax me and—"

"Kuroo-kun, I'm just going to buy something from the store! Go make some candles with Kei!" And the door was shut, leaving both of the boys dumbfounded. Kuroo went to Tsukishima who was still staring at the front door then scoffing hard.

"What was that?" Kuroo asked and Tsukishima shooks his head in disbelief.

"She's starting again," Tsukishima's hand was on his forehead now while leaning on the door frame.

"Huh?"

"She's starting a small business again, Kuroo!"

"And? Shouldn't you be supportive?"

"No— I mean, I'd love to support her but god, she acts like a high school girl whose heart just got broken whenever she fails," Kuroo laughed at how paranoid Tsukishima was. Who would've thought that a paranoid Tsukishima would be cute too?

Kuroo went inside the room and studies the things inside. There was a big cabinet solely for fragrances and that alone made Kuroo awe. There were different colors of candle dyes too. Tsukishima started to look around and touched the candle wicks that were arranged in a corner. There was also a stove just for the candles.

"Open your phone, search on how to make these. I want to make one," Kuroo said excitedly while still inspecting everything. Asami gave them a go signal and making a candle might not be that hard plus Kuroo never has done this before and now, adrenaline was washing over him.

"Are you fucking okay?"

"Yeah, I am, so faster, Kei," Tsukishima rolled his eyes but fished his phone out of his pocket and started searching on Youtube while mumbling on how childish this is and why does Kuroo likes to try to make one.

"It says here that you'll need soy wax, candlewick, candle dye, fragrance, and yeah, can we please stop this?" Kuroo started to rummage through everything and was able to get all of what Tsukishima said because it was organized with names that made it much easier. Kuroo stares at Tsukishima with a bored expression before grabbing his wrist and pulling him into the room.

"Help me,"

"No, screw you,"

"Tsukishima Kei,"

"Kuroo Tetsurou," Tsukishima smiled in victory when Kuroo stopped from talking and seemed taken aback when he called him by his full name. The older man rolled his eyes at him and just asked Tsukishima to say the instructions out loud.

Kuroo started to melt the wax and was happily stirring the melted wax when Tsukishima told him that he looks lame. Kuroo pulled the wooden spatula out of the wax and drops of the skin burning wax accidentally interact with Tsukishima's arm.

"You know what? Fuck you, get out of this house. Right now," Tsukishima said and attempts to kick Kuroo while removing the now dried wax from his skin. "Fucking shit. I want to kill you,"

"Your face was— god, that was hilarious— you looked like—" Kuroo said in between laughs while Tsukishima curses him continuously. He couldn't find the situation seriously because first, the wax wouldn't kill Tsukishima and second and the main reason is that Tsukishima looked funny— too funny for Kuroo that he almost forgot to breathe.

"Okay, okay, I'm sorry, I'll just make you one too, just continue saying the instructions," Even if he's still pissed, Tsukishima did what Kuroo said and he himself didn't know why he was obliging the commands of the person who just laughed at him when his skin almost burned because of the wax that he threw on him.

And so, Tsukishima was still leaning on the door frame saying the instructions while peeking at Kuroo and his work from time to time but then Kuroo pushed him out of the room forcefully when he was finished.

"You get to smell the candles later," Kuroo said with a smile then closed the door behind him and pushed him towards the living room.

"Do they smell like strawberries?" Tsukishima asked, eyes sparkling while his hands automatically run on Pretzel's thick fur.

"Uhm, no? You might eat them. Candles are not—"

"I'm not dumb like you,"

"But you're a strawberry addict. Period," Tsukishima rolls his eyes at him before propping the rest of his legs on the couch.

They munched on junk foods as Kuroo looks at the baby pictures scattered around the first floor of the house. Akiteru and Kei looked similar when they were still babies. There was a picture where Tsukishima was holding a mug of cocoa with marshmallows on a Christmas day and it was Kuroo's personal favorite. There was also a picture when he was on a swing and his smile was so big that almost all of his teeth were shown. Kuroo chuckled and almost melted when he saw a grade school Tsukishima lying on his stomach while doing a self-portrait. There was also a picture of Kei with Yamaguchi when they were still kids and with Pretzel licking his Tsukishima's face.

Kuroo almost jumped in surprise when the timer that he set on his phone was already finished, indicating that the candles should now be ready. He stood up and sprinted towards the room and grabbed the candles. Tsukishima followed him and squinted his eyes when Kuroo gave him a red candle.

"Do you have any kitchen torch or match?" Kuroo asked and Tsukishima looked at their kitchen to find what Kuroo's asking for. He couldn't say it directly but now that he's holding the candle, he actually felt amazed that Kuroo was able to make a decent looking candle for his first time. "Light that," Kuroo said and once again, the blonde complied.

It took Tsukishima ten full seconds before he realized whats he's smelling. His eyes widened the looked at Kuroo with questioning eyes.

"Well, I feel like you like the smell of the bouquet that I gave you yesterday because you kept on smelling it and sadly, flowers wither but that candle would last much longer," Tsukishima inhaled the calming smell and was amazed by how accurate the smell is from the bouquet. Kuroo surprised him again and it was making his insides feel messy— a good messy.

"Does it smell similar?"

"Yes, yes," Tsukishima looked at him. "It's perfect,"


	7. Chapter 7

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warning! In the first part of this chapter, Tsukishima will experience an anxiety attack but it will not delve in that deep. Happy reading! <3

It was nearly 2 at the midnight but Tsukishima was still staring at the ceiling. His bed seemed smaller than it used to be but Kei knew that it was him who changed, he grew taller the past four years. This room has always been warm that his room in Tokyo couldn’t even make a good competition. Tsukishima shifted on his side with a sigh and saw his family’s picture frame. It was just him, Akiteru and Asami in front of their house, which was that time, still newly bought. Even from the picture, Tsukishima could feel how fake their smiles were. It was just a week before that incident happened but they were all trying to look alright. The smiles were too forced, too bland.

Tsukishima shut his eyes and tried to sleep for the nth time because counting sheeps never worked for him. Thoughts started to flood his mind. This exact scenario has been repeating every night whenever he’s in this room. Can’t sleep but can’t find the strength to stay awake. Tsukishima shifted again as he felt his heartbeat race.

_No._

Kei tried to block out all the unnecessary thoughts, his chest heaving up and down more as he breathes in and out. Restlessness seeps into the mattress and into his skin. Tsukishima did his best to sit then leaned his head on the headboard while clutching the bed sheets tightly. This was why he doesn’t want to go home.

_Long deep breaths, Kei._

Tsukishima grabbed his phone from his nightstand and opened a video that he has ever since he was 12. He has opened this video more than he smiled and it was making him more uneasy as he realizes it but he shook his head and listened to the audio, a voice of a woman who tells him how to breathe. Kei closed his eyes, tears falling from his eyes as he does what the voice says.

He wanted it to end but the adrenaline just keeps ongoing. He’s been dealing with this for a decade now but the attacks were just getting worse. The voice in the video told him to think of happy thoughts or anything that would make him smile. Tsukishima cried. There are a lot of things that make him smile but it all vanishes whenever he’s inside his room with the lights off.

The breeze from the outside gushed into the room, making Tsukishima’s whole body flinch. He bit his lower lip to at least muffle the sounds of his cries. He doesn’t want his mother to know what's happening and he thinks that it's alright because he survived ten years of anxiety attacks without asking for anyone’s help.

_I could get through this._

Its what Tsukishima says to himself every single time to calm himself down. He wipes the tears on his cheeks and went to his bag, scrambling through his things, mostly his shirts, and under the pile of clothes, he saw his camera. He opened his door quietly, tiptoeing, careful not to wake Asami. As soon as he got through the stairs, he poured himself some water and drank it straight. There's no way that he could calm down when his feet are still in the vicinity of the house. He needed to go out.

“Kei?” Tsukishima almost lost his grip on the glass, his heart jumped as his brain tells him that there might be an intruder in their house and Tsukishima was alone in the kitchen, in the dark. “Kei, Kei, it's me, Kuroo,”

Tsukishima met Kuroo’s eyes. He was shaking uncontrollably, almost losing his balance but Kuroo grabbed the glass from his hands and held both of his arms softly.

“Are you okay? You’re shaking. What happened?” Kuroo asked, his voice soothing Tsukishima’s existence. He let out a few shaky breaths before shaking his head. He removed Kuroo’s grip and turned around to grab the glass and pour water and consuming it within seconds, hoping that the water will flush his worries away too.

He completely forgot that Kuroo was also in the house and he saw him in his most vulnerable state. Yamaguchi was the only one who ever saw him like that, trembling and eyes watering, tears threatening to fall anytime. Tsukishima was embarrassed to be seen like this. Disheveled as his strong person facade was turned off.

“Kei..” Kuroo called out, his hand reaching but not touching Tsukishima. He looked at the older man and tried to compose himself as well as his expressions. Kuroo didn’t look at him with pity and it somewhat made Tsukishima thankful because being pitied at the moment is not what he needs.

“I’m going out,” The blonde said before grabbing his camera on the table and going straight to the front door. Pretzel ran to him, wagging her tail and trying to lick Tsukishima’s foot. He crouched and patted her on the head.

“Are you sure? Because it's already—“

“Just— just don’t talk, please,” Tsukishima said while opening the front door and then going out but leaving the door open. Kuroo could go after him or just let him be and he wouldn’t care. There’s too much in his mind for him to care if Kuroo finds him funny now that he’s like a five-year-old crying because of a toy.

The night was quiet and the street was awfully peaceful. Tsukishima walked slowly, the sound of his shoes interacting with the rough concrete was the only thing that can be heard but not until he heard the fast strides behind him. Within a few seconds, he felt Kuroo beside him. He could see how messed up his already messed up hair from his peripheral vision.

Tsukishima appreciated how Kuroo just stayed quiet for who knows how long. It could be an hour or just a few minutes, Tsukishima couldn’t really tell. All he’s thinking is that he needs to get out of that house as soon as possible. He needs to get away from it just until he finally calms down. The tears from earlier were already dry but Tsukishima could still feel his eyes stinging. His breathing exercise was still ongoing as both of them walk silently.

“What's the camera for?” Kuroo asked slowly and it made Tsukishima smile thinking that Kuroo finally reached his limit on being silent. Maybe he could use some noise because all the silence already sends the uncomfortable ringing in his ears.

Tsukishima opened the camera, then wore the strap of it around his neck for support. He could feel the careful stares of Kuroo like he’s aching to ask something and get the answers that he wants but he stays quiet and just watches Tsukishima fondle the camera.

“It was a gift for my 15th,” He said, smiling at the memory. They were still first years at that time and still not really close with each other but Yamaguchi, Hinata, Yachi, and even Kageyama saved up to buy him a present. Tsukishima appreciated it so much that he smiled at them genuinely. Hinata even said that he looked like an alien when smiling but it didn’t piss him off because he was that overwhelmed.

“And you still use it?” Tsukishima looked at Kuroo with such disappointment. He waved the camera at Kuroo’s face with a blank expression.

“Obviously?” Kuroo chuckled, a bit relieved that Tsukishima was at least, even if a bit, back to his usual self. “I like taking photos of pretty things. It helps me,” He said with a small voice but Kuroo was still able to hear it. Tsukishima then started to take pictures of the sky but quickly grimaces when he saw that there were almost no stars. Just clouds and the dark, dark sky.

It was something that helps Kei whenever he experiences anxiety attacks. The shutter of the camera tingles his senses along with the cold breeze of the air. Tsukishima focused the camera’s lenses on the moon. In a certain folder in his laptop lies almost a thousand pictures of the sky and it just implies how many times Tsukishima experiences heartbreaking attacks.

Kuroo’s eyes focused on the mesmerizing view in front of him. Kuroo wanted to memorize every moment, every single movement that Tsukishima does. How his finger presses a certain button and even how he tilts his head upwards towards the sky. Its cold and Kuroo could see the little shivers on Tsukishima’s arms. They were just wearing a thin shirt and sweatpants and the wind is merciless.

When Tsukishima stopped taking pictures, they continued to walk again. Kuroo just wishes that Tsukishima knows how will they go back because truthfully, he was already cold. Kuroo was never that good with anything cold but Tsukishima keeps on walking and Kuroo doesn’t have the guts to ask him if they could go back already. He was aware that he was the one who followed him so just pressed his lips closed even if he’s close to shaking because of coldness.

“Please don’t say anything to her,” Tsukishima whispers.

“Who? Pretzel?” Kuroo joked but he was met by Tsukishima’s sharp glares. If looks could kill, Kuroo might probably be in pieces so he shut his mouth and tried to turn his expression into a more serious one.

“She doesn’t know any of this,” Tsukishima stopped on walking, looking at the sky once again. “Yamaguchi’s the only one who knows this and unfortunately, you,”

Kuroo stayed quiet, not really knowing what to reply. Tsukishima took this as a sign to continue even if he himself doesn’t even know if he needs to say something to Kuroo.

“Been experiencing this since I was twelve,”

_It happened when I slept in that room for the first time. Yamaguchi was there for a sleepover. Both of us didn’t know what to do but Yamaguchi stayed and just hugged me until I stopped crying. He also cried. Funny, right? Yamaguchi searched something about it the next day and ended up sharing the video that I’m using up until now._

_This is why I seldom go home ever since I went to college. Its been a while since I had an anxiety attack. It feels awful. It feels like shit and I also feel like I’m shit, don’t you think so? Do you get me?_

“Still can’t cope up with it,” Tsukishima chuckled as he closes his eyes, not letting the deeper part of his thoughts come out of his mouth because Kuroo doesn’t need to know any of that. Kuroo furrowed his eyebrows at how fake that chuckle was but his expression softened upon realizing that Tsukishima has been experiencing that for ten years.

Kuroo’s knees felt like marshmallows when he remembers how messed up Tsukishima looks like earlier. His eyes were red and puffed, clearly from crying. The blonde’s breathing is still not the usual and it made Kuroo think if he’s using a breathing pattern to calm down. He was also trembling and Tsukishima couldn’t seem to focus at anything at all when he saw him.

“Do you want to talk about it?” Kuroo asked but Tsukishima shook his head. He already expected that answer but he always believed that trying even if it seems impossible would make a difference. Tsukishima started to walk again, his steps were slower than before. Kuroo tried to match his pace but his long legs were making it a little difficult.

“Kuroo, how do you stop strawberries from rotting?” Kuroo stopped upon hearing the question then stares at Tsukishima who also stopped. The light from the lamp post making their skin both glowing in candlelight orange. Kuroo dug his brain for an answer as Tsukishima looks at him intensely. Kuroo bit his inner cheek when the wind suddenly blew and thinks that maybe if he answered Tsukishima’s question, they could go back already because he feels like he’s slowly, slowly becoming Olaf, and it's not even winter yet.

“You can’t,” He says, and Tsukishima sighed like he knew the answer already but still hopes for something new. “They’re bound to rot if you’ll not eat it,” He continues with a heavy heart.

“I see,” Tsukishima turns his heel back and for a moment, Kuroo was actually delighted because they’re finally going back but Tsukishima looks like he’s just half okay. Kuroo wanted him to be okay to the fullest where he could see his frown and the little scrunch of his nose whenever Kuroo tells him a joke.

“Kei,” Tsukishima just hums, still walking, leaving Kuroo without noticing it. “Are you okay now?”

He stopped and turned his head back to see Kuroo who is already fifty meters away from him. Tsukishima contemplates the dam in his eyes threatening to break apart for some reason. There's no one around them and the night is quiet, even Kuroo who doesn’t shout up is quiet. It wouldn’t hurt to say the truth and Tsukishima begs himself to be honest since there's no point in lying.

“No,” Kuroo takes a step forward but Tsukishima felt like he was suddenly in front of him, looking directly at his eyes. “I haven’t taken enough pictures,”

Kuroo ran to him that made Tsukishima take a step back, shocked by the sudden movements of the older man. When Kuroo stopped, his breathing was ragged, and Tsukishima thought of making fun of him because he seemed like he got tired from running with that short distance. Calling him a loser might work, but Kuroo grabbed the camera and placed it on his hands. Tsukishima looked at him, his eyes skeptical as he furrows his eyebrows.

“Take some more pictures. It helps you, right? We can’t come back while you’re still not okay,”

_I want you to be okay. Please be okay._

“But I don’t have any subject. I want the stars, but there are no stars—“

“Me, I can be the subject. Make me your subject,” Kuroo insisted, his voice loud at first but lowering it down when he realizes that its midnight and they’re probably the only people awake. It sounded so awkward and forceful but Kuroo just wants to help. He wanted to bring Kei back to his feet even if it's just for now.

“You quite have the audacity, Kuroo,” Tsukishima rolled his eyes but still opened his camera once again and looks up to Kuroo. The older man’s eyes were darting straight to his eyes and it made Tsukishima felt like the wind blowing was not cold but a warm, calming one that makes his body fuzzy.

“Y-you’re really... uhm, okay, how do— what do I do?” Kuroo asks, his feet pacing back and forth in tiny strides. Taking pictures was never his forte as well as being a subject for a picture. “Should I smile? Or no— or maybe I should just—“

“Kuroo, shut up, you might wake everyone,” Tsukishima hushed and it automatically sent Kuroo’s hand to his mouth to stop himself from rambling things. Tsukishima gestured him to stand under the lamp post and used its light for subtle lighting. He looked into the camera and sees Kuroo from the lens, and he looked so nervous that Tsukishima could actually feel it.

“Why are you nervous? Stop moving, it’ll be blurry,” Tsukishima didn’t know what to do to, honestly. He just takes pictures of the sky, moon, and the stars. Nothing else. It was his first time taking a picture of a person. But maybe he could look at Kuroo and just pretend that he’s a star. A pretty and pleasing without trying celestial body.

Kuroo stands straighter than he ever did in his life. He tried to refrain from smiling, it's not like he could smile from being nervous plus Tsukishima told him that his smile makes him look like a pervert after their dinner earlier. He came to the conclusion that Tsukishima does hate it when he smiles—

“Smile, Tetsurou,” Tsukishima said and it was enough to stir Kuroo’s head. The flash came but he wasn’t able to smile. It's not every day where Tsukishima calls him by his given name. This made him melt. Fuck the coldness, it's already warm. Tsukishima just made the impossible possible because Kuroo suddenly loves the wind gushing through the thin fabric of his shirt.

“Let me see,” He croaks, but Tsukishima hid the camera and protected it with his arms. “Oh come on,”

“Pay me and you’ll get your picture,” Kuroo groaned, he doesn’t have the energy already and he certainly doesn’t have the money, but still thinks that maybe he could pay him if it's just only a few hundred yen or maybe a thousand yen. But he probably looked ugly and a thousand yen could help him have his dinner for the next day already.

“You wish, you con artist,” Kuroo mocked while his hands in his pocket. Tsukishima just rolled his eyes at him and they both walked again, already coming back to the house that Tsukishima loathes but doesn’t have the heart to say it to his mother.

It's quiet, again. But it was the silence that they needed for many and different reasons. Kuroo never liked silence, it makes his brain fly away and he just starts to think of the unnecessary things in his life. His discontinued culinary school, his family, his batchmates, his dreams, and his supposed to be job. He was always thinking about that all the time, except now.

His mind was occupied by a giant strawberry sitting inside of his head. He envisions the strawberry on a plate for a week. It rots and turns into an ugly and inedible fruit. There was no way and he couldn’t think of a way to prevent a strawberry from rotting.

“Tsukishima Kei,” This made Tsukishima stopped from walking but he did not look at Kuroo. “You can plant the strawberry instead,”

“Huh?”

“Just plant it on a healthy soil then give it some water and sunlight, organic fertilizers could do too,” Kuroo said eagerly, his hands even moving as he speaks, a habit that Tsukishima learned every time Kuroo talks excitedly.

“Too much work,”

“But it’ll pay off. You just need to give some effort because it will depend on you and on the other components. Taking care of a sprouting plant would need lots of gentlenesses but hey, it’ll be worth it. Imagine, you’ll have bright red strawberries after a few months,” Kuroo wiggled his eyebrows at him.

“I- I see,” Tsukishima says quietly as he let what Kuroo said seep into his mind. He winces, the thought was fucking with him deeply and Tsukishima didn’t want it. He didn’t expect Kuroo to even think about that question after he already answered the first time. Tsukishima could’ve accepted the reality earlier. It’s bound to rot but now there was a new option, plant it and let it became a vessel for new strawberries. Tsukishima cursed in his mind.

Plant it to healthy soil. There’s his family. Water? There’s Yamaguchi, Akaashi, Terushima, Yachi, Kageyama, and Hinata. Fertilizer? Definitely strawberry shortcake. Sunlight?

Tsukishima thinks. He needs the sunlight. Wheres the sunlight? He looks up but the dark sky was the one who said hi to him. The wind blew, cold, definitely not the sunlight. Tsukishima was biting his lips, anxiety starting to invade his whole being again.

“Try to sleep, okay?” A voice said Tsukishima’s head turned to the owner of the voice. Kuroo. Dark messy hair, his creepy smirk that makes him look like a pervert, odd sense of humor, does too much talking but he’s right here, smiling lazily but it still seemed so bright.

_No fucking way._

—

Pretzel was giddily running and jumping on Tsukishima’s bed making him wake up with a groan. He reached his phone first and saw that it was already seven am, too early for him based on the pounding on his head because of the lack of sleep. One hour from yesterday and now just a mere four hours.

“Pretzel, please stop,” He said, eyes closed again but the dog didn’t stop, instead she started to lick Kei’s foot that made him shiver. “Gross, god, Pretzel, is that what Mom teaches you?” Pretzel only barks and it made Tsukishima smile.

Upon covering his face with a pillow, a ring from his phone startled both him and his dog. He groaned loudly but still picked up his phone and slide his finger across the screen to answer it. It was Yamaguchi, asking him hows the stay so far. He told him about the attack even though he didn’t want to reminisce it again. Yamaguchi freaked out, as usual, but calmed down when Tsukishima told him that he was able to take pictures of pretty things. He didn’t tell him about Kuroo since he figured out that he doesn’t need to know it.

When the call ended, Tsukishima's sleepiness was not present anymore. Pretzel jumped at him for the last time before going out of his room. Asami probably checked on him earlier and accidentally left the door not thoroughly close and Pretzel being the dog who has too much energy in her body, decided to pounce on him every five minutes. His stomach hurts, not sure if its internally because of hungriness or externally because of Pretzel’s jumps. Tsukishima moves slowly as he walks into the bathroom and brushes his teeth before washing his face. His eyes were not puffy. Good.

“Is it the extended celebration of New Years?” Tsukishima asks as soon as he got down. The table was full of food. Asami and Kuroo were both wearing frilly aprons and Tsukishima suddenly wanted to grab his camera upstairs and take a picture of Kuroo.

Asami burst from the kitchen then hugged him, saying her usual morning greetings with a kiss on Tsukishima’s hair in which Tsukishima needs to bend down so that his mother could reach his hair and kiss it. She proceeded to name all of the dishes on the table but Tsukishima already knows all of it by heart. All of it were his favorites. Starting from his favorites when he was a child, then growing up to high school and even when he started living in Tokyo. Asami surely asked Akaashi for some added reference.

She beams at him and Tsukishima saw that there was no difference from how his mother acts so he looks at Kuroo. The older man smiles at him and acts like he’s zipping his lips. Tsukishima mouthed a small thank you but was interrupted by Asami’s too merry attitude.

When they were eating, Asami says that its all for Tsukishima, obviously, because of his graduation. Tsukishima shifts at his seat. Asami already cooked a lot for yesterday’s dinner but Kei didn’t argue with her. She’s just proud and happy and ruining it would be the last thing that Tsukishima would do.

Tsukishima quietly snakes his hand under the table, his hand meeting Pretzel’s mouth. She grabs the steamed pork from his hand and chews on it quickly before moving to Kuroo who also has food ready for her under the table. Pretzels chews and chews as the conversation on the table continue.

“Stop it, you two, you’re making her fat,” Asami said and the two young men stilled. Shocked eyes looking at each other upon knowing that they’ve been doing the same thing. Asami clicks her tongue repeatedly but they just laughed at her and tried to continue feeding Pretzel but now with Asami swatting their hands to stop them.

It was after lunch when Asami was on the doorstep, almost crying because Tsukishima needs to go. She was sad but Tsukishima couldn’t bear to be in her house too. So they reasoned Kuroo’s work and Asami couldn’t fight back because it was her idea in the first place to just grab Kuroo. They said goodbye after Tsukishima hugged Pretzel for almost ten minutes straight, saying that he’ll miss her so much.

The train ride going back to Tokyo was quiet with both of them sleeping again. They were both tired from walking earlier at midnight and the lack of sleep was making it worse. Kuroo’s scent was in Tsukishima’s nose and it was enough to lull him into a nap that was interrupted by Kuroo’s soft nudges.

They stood in front of the train station awkwardly. Kuroo didn’t know what to say, as well as Tsukishima but the sudden smell of lilies invaded Tsukishima’s sense of smell. His head followed the scent and saw a woman holding a bouquet of flowers. She came out of a flower shop that's oddly big. Was there always a flower shop in front of this station?

“Do you want to go to my work next week?” Kuroo suddenly asks. Tsukishima narrowed his eyes at the sudden invite. He narrows it, even more, when he realized that he still doesn’t know Kuroo’s work.

“Are you going to bring me to your basement and kill me then sell my organs in the black market?” He asks, his right brow arched in the highest way possible, matching his arms folded over his chest.

“Your imagination is impressive for a 22-year-old, Kei. First of all, I don’t have a basement. Second, I don’t know how to preserve organs so you can use it again nor do I have any contact with the black market, and third, do I look like I can do sales talking?”

“Well, your answer is quite defensive for someone who doesn’t sell something in the black market,” Kuroo looks at him with a what-the-fuck expression that it almost made Tsukishima snort. “Fine. When exactly?”

“Thursday?” Tsukishima shrugged happily, his schedule was now free as the wind. No classes, no assignments, no shits.

“Okay,” He said and they both exchanges their goodbyes (Tsukishima didn’t actually say goodbye, he just nodded). He took the cab and thinks that maybe he should’ve said thank you at the very least. Maybe next time.

As soon as he stepped inside the house, the three men enveloped him into a tight hug while saying how much they missed him. Tsukishima just rolled his eyes at them but still grateful that they really waited for him. He went to his room first and drink some water before dipping himself in the bathtub. The water was too hot that it hurt Tsukishima’s skin but it was relaxing at the same time. He soaked for an hour or two until his fingers were already wrinkly and once satisfied, he dried himself and threw himself to his bed and drifted to his dreamland within a minute.

“Baby Dino, dinner’s ready,” That single sentence was able to make Tsukishima wake up from his slumber. Even though he’s still exhausted for some unknown reason, Tsukishima did his best to move and eat. The four men sat on the table and it was making the blonde sigh in contentment. Everything felt right when Akaashi started talking shit about the newly employed waiter, clearly unethical but Akaashi doesn’t give a fuck. Yamaguchi told him to just fire the boy if he’s not really capable of the job but Terushima told him to punch him once after firing him as his pay for the headache that he gave to Akaashi.

Once their dinner was over, they used Yamaguchi’s Jenga blocks to determine who will do the dishes for the night. Tsukishima groaned when the tall building of blocks fell right when he pulled a single block in the middle. The three men congratulated him and Tsukishima wanted to slap the shit out of them. With a huff, Tsukishima washed the dishes. He could hear them rambling about what movie will they watch for the night. Terushima was in the mood for rom-com movies, Akaashi wanted to watch drama and cry his heart out while Tsukishima just said that he’ll watch anything that they want. In the end, Yamaguchi won and they ended up with The Aristocats playing on the tv screen.

“Guys, I need to tell you all something,” Akaashi said excitedly while hugging Tsukishima from his side. Yamaguchi quickly paused the movie and they all looked at Akaashi. “Bokuto and I are finally dating!”

There was a beat of silence then Terushima and Yamaguchi threw themselves on Akaashi to hug him. Tsukishima got squished in the process but he did not complain. Akaashi looks happy and it is what's important. Tsukishima’s possibly broken bones from the soul-crushing hug could wait later.

“But aren’t you guys hanging out and making out the past month?” Yamaguchi asked when they finally calmed down while Terushima nuzzles his head on Yamaguchi’s neck and made himself comfortable.

“Dashi, we’re getting to know each other. You know me, I’m not easy. I have issues but Bokuto stayed,” This automatically made everyone smile. They all wanted to say that if ever something happens, they’ll just be beside him but stops when they realized that Akaashi already knows it from the bottom of his heart.

“Should we invite Bokuto-san for dinner sometime?” Tsukishima asked and Akaashi squealed in excitement then started to comment that Tsukishima is finally having a character development. Terushima joined Akaashi to tease Tsukishima. The blonde just rolls his eyes but at the side of his eyes, he sees Yamaguchi just sitting and looking at them quietly. Tsukishima actually waited for his childhood friend to join the chaos like he always does but Yamaguchi just stays at the couch until Terushima and Akaashi’s energy drains.

“I too have a very big announcement to make,” Terushima says then stood at the couch while both of his hands were on his chest.

“You’re pregnant?”

“Your new piercing got infected?"

“You got caught by the police because you’re an exhibitionist?”

“Fuck you all,” The blonde cropped haired man rolls his eyes at them then slapped their foreheads in a flash which made them slap him back. They were all whining in pain as they rub the affected area of their forehead.

“You’re the worst, Teru,” Akaashi groans while shaking his head in disappointment but this earned him another slap from Terushima who quickly ran away in case Akaashi tries to do the same. “Damn you, Yuuji! This is why Akiteru doesn’t like you!”

“Jokes on you, Keiji, we finally made out yesterday!” Tsukishima choked. Hard. Terushima laughed at him and hugged him tightly, whispering the details of their make-out yesterday. Tsukishima pushed him instantly, not wanting to know how Terushima sat on Akiteru’s lap for almost twenty minutes. Akaashi punched Terushima lightly while he and Yamaguchi said congratulations because all of them knows how long Terushima chased Akiteru.

They continued watching and they all sang along with their favorite song in the movie, Everybody wants to be a cat. They were bobbing their heads energetically specifically Terushima and Akaashi. Tsukishima tilts his head left to right while singing along in a whisper like he always does, but his peripheral vision was fixated on Yamaguchi who should have been standing and dancing with the two older men, but he’s now just sitting and smiling. Tsukishima figures that there’s something wrong with him so he reaches his hand to get Yamaguchi’s attention but the song came to an end, making the two sit again and preventing Tsukishima to reach out to his freckled friend.

The next day, Hinata, Kageyama, and Yachi bulldozed their way into the house, waking up Tsukishima and Yamaguchi. They already planned where they will go and were adamant to make Tsukishima go with them too. Tsukishima wanted to kick them out but knowing Hinata, he will not go unless Tsukishima would agree with him.

The blonde wore a plain pastel shirt and jeans, the simplest among all of his friends’ outfits who are going all out for the day. Despite the noisiness of their group, Tsukishima notices Yamaguchi’s quietness. He’s joining the conversation once in a while but his energy was missing.

Kageyama’s face showed disgust and nervousness at the same time when they reached their destination. It seemed like Hinata and Yachi were the only ones who planned the whole day. Tsukishima wanted to leave quietly too and avoid the wrath of the roller coaster but Yamaguchi and his current behavior made him stay. Maybe he could ask him about what's happening later in the afternoon.

“Aha! You’re losing, baby!” Hinata screams when Kageyama wasn’t able to shoot the toy using a toy gun. Kageyama’s face turned into red, Tsukishima couldn’t fathom if its because he’s annoyed that he’s losing or because of what Hinata just called him.

“Go, Tadashi!” Yachi cheered when Yamaguchi tried winning a Gudetama stuffed toy by popping ten balloons consecutively by a dart. Yamaguchi failed the first time so they made Tsukishima do it too. In the end, everyone tried it but no one succeeded. Tsukishima stopped them before they all go home with empty pockets because of a single game.

Their lunch was composed of greasy burgers, golden fries, soda, and yogurt. Tsukishima wanted to sit beside Tadashi to ask him already but Yachi claimed her seat before Tsukishima could. As soon as their lunch came to an end, Hinata’s adrenaline rush was too much again that he pushed everyone to ride the roller coaster despite just finishing their lunch. They all ended throwing up after the ride. Kageyama punched his boyfriend and Tsukishima slapped his back as hard as he could.

The aftermath of the roller coaster took a toll on them that made them decide to just go home because they all felt sick. Everyone was silent on the train as they sat beside each other but when they’re already about to separate from the train station, Yachi called out to them.

“Uh, guys, can we, can we go to the park first? I just don’t want this day to end already. I-I mean if that's okay,“

“Okay,” The four men said in unison. Even without admitting it verbally, they all know that Yachi has a soft spot in their hearts. Yachi happily thrust her fist in the air before holding Yamaguchi’s hand.

There are times that Tsukishima is quite thankful that Kageyama doesn’t like the thought of public displaying of affection because if he did, Tsukishima would be alone in the middle of them. It's not like he’s ashamed that he’s the only one who doesn’t have a boyfriend but at least, no one will look at him with pity.

When they arrived at the park, Kageyama rented a picnic cloth for them while Yamaguchi said that he’ll buy the food at the convenience store. Tsukishima quickly stood up to go with Yamaguchi and finally, ask him because Yamaguchi’s awkwardness is slowly killing him, but Yachi started rambling about the animals that she has been taking care of whenever she volunteers at a rescue center for animals. Tsukishima didn’t want to be rude to the blonde girl so with a clenched fist, he stayed and just hoped that he could ask Yamaguchi later.

They were all sitting under the sun with sandwiches on their hand and the cherry blossoms petals blowing along with the wind. Tsukishima was busy getting another sandwich from the paper bag when Hinata started to reminisce about their outrageous moments both in high school and college. Their laugh was clamorous when Hinata told them that Kageyama stapled his finger instead of the paper because he was about to get late in passing his assignment. Kageyama threw his wallet on Hinata’s face when the orange-haired boy told them that he cried when they’re at the infirmary.

“Never pegged you to be a crybaby, King,”

“Shut the fuck up, Tsukishima. Remember when you wore a maid costume when we were second years?” Kageyama grinned at the blonde who was now looking at him deadly.

“Don’t worry, Tsukishima! Kageyama wore something hideous. He lost a bet with me and I made him wear a white, sexy, linge—“ Kageyama’s hand quickly flew to cover Hinata’s mouth. Yachi’s face was beet red while Yamaguchi and Tsukishima laugh. Kageyama was choking Hinata but the smaller boy was just laughing even though he’s almost dying.

“Stop that, Kageyama, you might kill him!” Yachi said with such worry but Kageyama did not stop.

“Much better,” Kageyama said jokingly making Hinata fight back. He grabbed Kageyama’s hair and pulled it, making his boyfriend yelp in pain. Kageyama accidentally kicked Yachi and was about to say sorry when Yamaguchi kicked him too as an act of revenge for hurting his girlfriend. Kageyama kicked him back and they ended up tackling, punching, and pulling each other’s hair.

Yachi grabbed the foods away from the three who are now on the grass, with people looking at them as they act like kids. Tsukishima rolled his eyes at them and doubted if they are already adults because their mental age seemed like its decreasing.

“They look like a mess,” Yachi said, smiling genuinely while watching them. Tsukishima hummed in response and took a bite from his sandwich. “Can’t believe that we all graduated,”

“Yeah, and they haven’t matured even a bit,” Yachi chuckled, the sun was now slowly going down, the wind getting colder every minute.

“I planned this day with Hinata because I wanted to treasure and make the most of all the time that the five of us can be together,” Yachi said that made Tsukishima look at her.

She was right. They already graduated. Their time with each other will get lessened. They will start to work and do adult things. They’ll not know when will be the next time that they could get out with the five of them complete. Whether they like it or not, a new chapter was unfolding in front of them.

_Not yet, I’m not yet ready,_ Tsukishima thinks.


	8. Chapter 8

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Happy reading everyone <3

Summer came and Akaashi told Kuroo to brace himself to be with a Tsukishima Kei who gets annoyed by everything. Kuroo asked why and with a bored voice, Akaashi said that its because its summer and Tsukishima abhors summer. True enough, when Kuroo barged in Tsukishima’s room to say that his triple berry crumble pie is ready to eat, the blonde’s eyebrows were furrowed as he stood at the corner of the room, right in front of the air conditioner. Tsukishima snapped at him but his spitefulness was quickly solved when Kuroo brought a slice of the pie in his room.

Their deal was still on-going, Kuroo was still going to Tsukishima’s house every Wednesday and Saturday to bake for him. Kuroo has been in his house for countless times already, baking sweets for Tsukishima which always ends with the blonde being pushed against the refrigerator or Tsukishima sitting on the kitchen counter with Kuroo in between of his legs while kissing each other and they would abruptly stop for Kuroo to continue what he’s doing. In a few minutes, everything will escalate again, they’ll be in Tsukishima’s room with Kuroo licking the chocolate sauce or whipping cream or strawberry puree on him (which Tsukishima always complains because its too sticky but still moans whenever Kuroo drags his tongue around his nipple).

When it's a normal day, without both of them getting horny with the mere sight of each other, they would be rambling and talking about random things while on the couch. They could talk for hours without getting bored and Tsukishima somehow already considered Kuroo as his close friend and Kuroo knows this too well but the thought of getting together or dating never became a topic. Kuroo never asked and just grabs what Tsukishima could give to him. Having a friend with benefits has a weird ring around it but Kuroo just tells himself that he’s still young and can still fool around and it's not like he would not do it if Tsukishima would be the friend. Kuroo is without a doubt, a sucker for Tsukishima.

One afternoon in the middle of June, when Tsukishima and Kuroo were making out on the couch, Terushima, Akaashi, and Yamaguchi, along with Bokuto came home with four watermelons each, telling the blonde that its a good purchase because the watermelons were cheap that day. Tsukishima just facepalmed himself as he asks them what would they do with the massive amount of watermelons. They answer them with shrugs but Bokuto yelled that it’ll be their food for the next three days.

Yamaguchi was the one who cut the watermelon and gave one slice to each and every one. Tsukishima thanked him and the freckled boy started to tell him how horrified and disgusted the seller was when Bokuto kissed Akaashi. After paying for the watermelons, Terushima rolled his eyes at the old man and told him that ‘you homophobic jerk could fuck yourself’. Yamaguchi even impersonated Terushima that made Tsukishima chuckle. Tsukishima never got to ask Yamaguchi about his problem last month. He just started to act normally again so Tsukishima figured that he already have his problem solved.

“We should call my favorite girl and Kageyama and Hinata!” Akaashi said happily then quickly dialed their numbers and told them that they’re giving them free watermelons. Tsukishima could only frown when the house was packed again. The house was in full chaos when Bokuto and Kuroo suggested that they’ll have a competition to know who is the fastest person to eat half of a watermelon. Yachi tried to stop them because they might experience indigestion but Hinata wrapped his arm around her and told her that it's alright.

The prize that they all agreed to was ¥9,000. Each one of them gave a thousand yen and as soon as it was settled, Kuroo, Bokuto, Hinata, Terushima, Akaashi, Kageyama (Hinata forced him to join), and Yamaguchi (Yachi forced him too) were sitting on the table with a whole half of watermelon in front of them. Tsukishima watched the timer. Yachi took a video of everything that happened. Yachi also did the countdown and when she said the magic word which is: go, the seven men tried to consume the watermelon as fast as they can. Yamaguchi choked, Bokuto laughed at him causing him to choke hard too. Terushima tried to sabotage Akaashi and Kuroo by spitting the watermelon seeds on their faces. Hinata was kicking Kageyama and was putting some of the watermelon chunks on his boyfriend’s plate secretly.

Yachi was almost dying because of too much laughing so Tsukishima told her that he’ll just take the video for Yachi to laugh as much as she wants. Yachi thanked him and cheered for everyone with tears streaming down her cheeks because of laughing when Kuroo spat seeds right on Bokuto’s face. Yamaguchi said that he can’t eat it anymore while choking while Kageyama was complaining why does his watermelon doesn’t seem to dwindle. Terushima and Akaashi were both eager to win, even if chunks of watermelon were practically being shoved into their throats. In the end, Hinata stood on the table and proclaimed his triumph.

It was a quiet morning at the end of June when Yamaguchi got a call from the company that he applied from and told him that he could start next week, Monday. Yamaguchi ran to Tsukishima’s room only to see the blonde standing in front of the air conditioner. Tsukishima was delighted to hear the news so they quickly went to the mall to buy some ingredients for Akaashi to cook it later. They also went to a vintage wine shop where Yamaguchi almost cried when Tsukishima spent a hundred thousand of money for two 1953 bottles of wine. Tsukishima shrugged it off and told him that Yamaguchi deserves it.

Their dinner was as usual, noisy, but they all dressed up since its still a celebration. Akaashi cooked some herb-crusted fillet mignon that brought heaven to their mouth. Tsukishima was gentle when he poured the wine into the glass and gave it to them. Once again, they congratulated Yamaguchi for getting a job then toasted for it. With tears on his eyes, Yamaguchi thanked them while hugging them tightly. The three men hugged him back and whispered that he will still be the one who will do the dishes. Yamaguchi frowned but still did it anyway. Terushima warned him and told him to kick his boss’ ass if he’s treating him badly. Akaashi sat at the counter too while giving tips to Yamaguchi to have a lighter life at work. Tsukishima just stayed quiet, his heart just full of proudness because of Yamaguchi.

The next day, Kuroo and Tsukishima shared the wine that Tsukishima bought for himself. Kuroo was just supposed to give him his strawberry napoleons but he ended up seeing Tsukishima soaked in the bathtub with a wine glass on his hand. With uncertainty in his voice, Tsukishima asked if he would like to join him. Kuroo could only nod as his blood start to rush to his head and cock. He swiftly undressed and joined Tsukishima in the hot water. The bathtub was big enough for two people but Kuroo was adamant to hold Tsukishima despite the available space. Tsukishima’s back was pressed against Kuroo’s chest and it was more than comfortable than the blonde imagined.

Kuroo started to tell him the ingredients and how he made the strawberry napoleon with vigor. Tsukishima hummed as a response as he poured wine into the glass and excitedly give it to Kuroo. When the older man took a sip, Tsukishima looked at him to see his reaction. Kuroo smiled and told him that it was different from all the wine that he ever had, and this leads to Tsukishima telling him things about wines. Some of it was facts and some were things that Tsukishima just only heard but nonetheless, it brought a smile to Kuroo’s lips as he watches the blonde talk happily.

The night ended with them sleeping soundly on Tsukishima’s bed after they got a little tipsy and touchy in the bathtub. Tsukishima’s stomach and thighs were painted with dark-colored hickeys again and Kuroo was more than proud of it. When Tsukishima woke up, Kuroo was not there but he still left a note saying that he needed to work even though Tsukishima already knows this. He looked at the ceiling while contemplating whether to visit Kuroo’s work or just stay in the vicinity of their house while reading. Tsukishima already knew the answer as soon as he contemplated so after their lunch, which is just instant noodles because Akaashi was gone for work, he put on his thin shirt because its fucking summer and drove to Kuroo’s work.

The first time that Kuroo brought him to his work, Tsukishima was overwhelmed. He didn’t have any idea that Kuroo is a florist and he works at the massive flower shop in front of the train station. Tsukishima loved the cozy feeling of the flower shop and the different varieties of flowers were always waving at him. Tsukishima had the urge to steal every bouquet that he could. Tsukishima also met Kuroo’s boss, a flashy, always smiling, and a carefree man named Oikawa. He was delighted to see the blonde came into the store with his favorite employee for the first time.

Tsukishima smiled when he opened the sliding door and Kuroo welcomed him like he always does when a customer comes in, not looking away from the bouquet that he was doing. Tsukishima went to the countertop that was used for making bouquets and looked over Kuroo’s shoulder to see what he’s making. Dozens of white and cappuccino roses, hydrangea blooms, bold lilac chrysanthemums, coral-colored peonies, and few ranches of greeneries were laid as Kuroo work on them. Hanamaki and Matsukawa came in with a bunch of kraft paper, various colors of ribbons, mulberry paper, and another few stems of greeneries.

Tsukishima greeted them and Kuroo finally noticed his presence. He smiled at the blonde before going back to his work. The three men were rushing as they make ten or maybe twelve or maybe more bouquets— Tsukishima wasn’t able to count it when Oikawa entered the place with his boyfriend, Iwaizumi. Oikawa explained the cause of the upsurge in the flower shop. Apparently, their customers who were about to get married next Sunday, moved the wedding tomorrow and since then, everything is in chaos. The owner ranted about how unprofessional the couple was along with the wedding coordinator to inform them late. Tsukishima and Iwaizumi tried to calm Oikawa down as they help to trim the ends of the stems of the flowers. Kuroo checks on him every minute and telling him to be careful with the cutter in which Tsukishima snarls at him, saying that he knows how to use a fucking cutter.

When the day was about to end and the sky is already pitch dark, Hanamaki cursed as they finally finish the bouquets and all the gigantic centerpiece for each table for the reception of the wedding. Matsukawa started to clean the floor while Oikawa thanked everyone, bowing at them while also saying sorry. The owner also thanked Tsukishima for entertaining the customers and helping them choose what they want and need when everyone is still busy. Tsukishima waved his thanks off after saying that he enjoyed it. Oikawa hugged him tightly and Tsukishima was once again relieved that Oikawa is a good person, both as a boss to his employees and as a friend.

“And you were the one who told me to be careful,” Tsukishima said with his arms crossed, his back leaning at the pastel pink wall while looking at Kuroo. The older man chuckled and winced at the same time as he washes his hands. There were cuts on his fingers and Tsukishima could quite see how deep the little cuts are. They were rushing while using really sharp cutters, of course, it’ll be normal to graze themselves. Tsukishima grabbed the first aid kit and grabbed a handful of band-aids and gave it to Kuroo, Matsukawa, and Hanamaki.

Oikawa did the closing and gave a few stems of sunflower to Tsukishima as a thank you gift for helping them. Tsukishima drove Kuroo to his shared apartment with Bokuto and as he drives, Kuroo gushed about how pretty the flowers looked earlier when it was delivered to them first thing in the morning. They were at the peak of their bloom and Tsukishima could imagine the flowers as Kuroo describe it animately with his hands moving along with his words.

“Mine’s Aster?” Tsukishima asked and Kuroo nodded at him with a smile. “What's yours then?”

“Chrysanthemum. Beautiful, right?” Tsukishima hummed in response, quietly memorizing the list of birth flowers that Kuroo just told him. Tsukishima was getting used to this. Him driving Kuroo to his apartment after work as Kuroo tells him things about flowers, or sometimes when Tsukishima was feeling it and Kuroo doesn’t seem to be that tired, they’ll go to Tsukishima’s house and eat dinner together with everyone. And when its almost midnight, Kuroo would snake his arms around Tsukishima’s waist, touching him delicately and Tsukishima would softly moan at the contact of their skin. He would turn to face him and they would share a slow lazy kiss and it would end up with both of them exhausted but satisfied as they finish having sex. After Kuroo cleaned themselves with a damp cloth, he would whisper facts about plants and it would be the last thing Tsukishima hears before drifting to sleep.

—

As days go by and the month of July came, Asami called Tsukishima and told him that Pretzel seemed like she’s already getting weaker. Tsukishima started to panic as soon as he heard it and reserved a seat on the train to go to his dog the next day. Akaashi and Kuroo, who were with him that time tried to calm Tsukishima down but the blonde was already fidgeting. Akaashi asked Kuroo to go with Tsukishima for the time being and he agreed in a beat. Asking for Oikawa’s permission wasn’t hard because he already knows Tsukishima and his empathy level has always been over the top.

Tsukishima hugged Pretzel as soon as he saw her. He buried his face on the dog’s soft fur as his eyes started to water. Asami thanked Kuroo for accompanying her son now that he’s vulnerable all the way to Miyagi. Kuroo just smiled at her and then proceeded to pat the dog’s head. When dinner came, Tsukishima finally got all the courage that he needed to ask his mother whats happening to Pretzel.

“I already brought her to the vet but the doctor said that there are no other complications besides the fact that she’s already too old,” Asami said sadly. Tsukishima tried to keep in his tears in and just clutched the hem of his shirt tightly under the table. Tsukishima just hugged Pretzel and gently run his hands through her fur as they watch Asami’s favorite drama. Kuroo didn’t know if he should try to make the atmosphere light by joking so he opted to just shut up and look after Tsukishima whose eyes are red the whole day.

Asami pushed Kuroo to sleep with Tsukishima in his room because there is no air conditioner in the living room and even the nights are hot. Kuroo obliged, and lie down with the blonde-haired man whose back is facing him. Kuroo reached out to his hand a few times but he never had the courage to touch and comfort him.

“Kei?” Kuroo called out when he was awakened by Tsukishima’s cries in the middle of the night. “Kei, are you— wait, oh my god, let me— let me hug you,” Kuroo quickly enveloped Tsukishima in his arms and hugged him tightly as the both of them listen to the voice in the video that Tsukishima opened. Kuroo did his best to stay quiet and just move his hand up and down on Tsukishima’s back while the younger man grips his shirt instead of the blanket.

After almost ten minutes of calming himself down, Tsukishima stood up while wiping his tears snd grabbed his camera from his bag. Kuroo came after him as he went out of the house with Pretzel. They were quiet as they walk down the road, stopping sometimes when Tsukishima takes a picture of the moon.

“You okay now?” Kuroo asked when he felt that Tsukishima’s breathing was back to normal. Tsukishima shook his head slowly and stood up from crouching down to per Pretzel.

“Still haven’t taken enough pictures,” With this, Kuroo automatically looks at the sky.

“Well, the sky’s full of stars—“

“Pretzel, baby, go to him,” Tsukishima commands and the dog walks to Kuroo. Tsukishima crouched and focused the camera on Kuroo and Pretzel. Completely aghast with whats happening, Kuroo wasn’t able to smile when Tsukishima took the picture. He probably looked like a fool again but a smile lingered on his lips as Tsukishima continuously took pictures of him and Pretzel even if the sky was full of shining stars.

Asami was more than shocked when Tsukishima joined them to make candles the next day. It was easier than he expected and the way the wax melts slowly was kind of entertaining too. Asami baked as Kuroo and Tsukishima experimented with the fragrances. Tsukishima almost puked when Kuroo made him smell the mix of citrus and peppermint and roses.

“It smells good!” Kuroo exclaimed while shoving it to Tsukishima’s face.

“It doesn’t! Even Pretzel wouldn’t like that!” Tsukishima said and pushed Kuroo away from him. He rolled his eyes when Kuroo really went to a Pretzel to make her smell his newly made fragrance. Tsukishima dropped a few drops of lily and musk onto the melted wax and bit his lip in excitement when he smelled it. He quickly poured the wax into a glass that already has a wick in it.

Kuroo and Tsukishima shoved both of the candles in front of Asami and made her decide which one smelled better. Without knowing whose candle it is, Asami chose Tsukishima’s that made her youngest son slightly scream in victory. He hugged Pretzel and baby talked to her as he nuzzles his nose on her stomach. Kuroo rolled his eyes at them and quickly ate the serving of creme brûlée that was supposed to be for the blonde as revenge.

“You fucking jerk!” Tsukishima shouted and it made Asami’s mouth agape. She grabbed her rubber spatula and started to chase Tsukishima as she makes him repeat what he said. Kuroo stuck his tongue out at him then ate his dessert as he watches Asami, Tsukishima and now with Pretzel, run around like crazy in the living room.

The rain poured hard the next day, along with the tears overflowing from Tsukishima’s eyes as Asami talked to someone on the phone about the pet aftercare service. Kuroo called Tsukishima’s housemates and within a few hours, Yamaguchi, Akaashi, and Terushima came. Akiteru came too and it was the quietest day that Kuroo experienced.

Tsukishima was devastated. He already accepted the fact that his dog is already old and a time will come when he would need to let go of her but now that it is happening right in front of his eyes, he just couldn’t breathe. Pretzel has been with him since he was a kid, she comforted him when his parents’ marriage fell down, she played with him when he’s bored, she listened to all of Tsukishima’s rare rants while tilting her head, she always smiles at him when he pets her and gives her the belly rubs that she always wants, Pretzel was a big part of his life.

All of them cried when Pretzel was finally buried at a pet cemetery that Asami readied a few weeks ago when Pretzel started acting weak. It was continuously raining but Tsukishima didn’t want to go home yet even after the ceremony ended. Akiteru stayed with him as he held the umbrella above their heads. Tsukishima just stared at the gravestone for hours even until his legs became numb because of too much standing. Akiteru was gentle with him when he told his younger brother that they already need to go home. Tsukishima wasn’t talking the whole time they went back to their home.

The entire day was quiet, everyone still worried about Tsukishima. It was the first time that his loved one died and Tsukishima himself doesn’t know how to act. He would suddenly cry when they were eating because he would remember sneaking food for Pretzel under the table. His friends tried to cheer him up but Tsukishima never smiled and it scared Kuroo because Tsukishima was already warming up with smiling for the past months and now he doesn’t even get to see a glint of something other sadness in his eyes.

Asami pushed Tsukishima to go home after talking to all of his friends, saying that he needed to go back to his normal life, away from the house where all the corners would just make him remember his Border Collie. Tsukishima just subtly nodded at her and within an hour, all of them were on the train going back to Tokyo. Completely worried about Tsukishima’s state, Akaashi decided to close the cafe early to be able to get home and cook dinner for them, Yamaguchi used his remaining day-offs to accompany Tsukishima every time Terushima couldn’t absent in his work. Kuroo doubled his baking, more strawberries, more desserts, and Kuroo hoped that this will help Tsukishima. When Kuroo feels like Tsukishima’s mood was okay then it usually is, he would bring him to the flower shop and Matsukawa and Hanamaki, along with Oikawa would attempt to make him laugh.

“Hey, Kei,” Kuroo wiggled his eyebrows when he went inside his room while holding a pork cutlet bowl. Tsukishima removed his headphones and lazily dragged his eyes to look at Kuroo. Tsukishima appreciates all of their effort to make him feel better, he really does, but he just doesn’t know how to show it. He sat straight and looked at the food when Kuroo placed it on the nightstand.

“Why are you here though? It's not even Wednesday. Makki and Mattsun might need you there,” Kuroo just shook his head and plopped himself on Tsukishima’s bed, burying his face on the soft comforter. Tsukishima moved a bit and started to eat as Kuroo tell him what happened yesterday at his work and how awkward it was when he walked in on Akaashi sucking Bokuto’s cock on the couch when he went home.

“Shit, that's gross,” Tsukishima said, almost choking on his rice as the image of Akaashi and Bokuto doing the deed came into his mind. Kuroo just chuckled and continued to tell stories about his childhood life.

“Then my cat started to steal fishes from—“

“You have a cat?” Tsukishima halted from eating and looked at him with creased eyebrows.

“Uh, yeah?”

“And you haven’t told me?” Tsukishima asked, feeling betrayed that Kuroo never mentioned to him about his pet. Kuroo rolled his eyes at him and Tsukishima felt the urge to poke his eyes.

“You never asked plus, he’s gone anyways,” This quickly turned the mood into a gloomy one. Tsukishima bit his inner cheek while looking up to stop his tears. Kuroo reached out his hand after breathing deeply. He held the younger man’s hand and played with his fingers. Tsukishima shot him a glare and swatted his hand but Kuroo grabbed his hand again and held it firmly. “Its been a month now, Kei, you need to move on,”

Tsukishima stayed quiet, not really knowing what to reply because this was all new to him. The last time that he lost someone he loved, the impact was too much that it made Tsukishima scared.

“You know, baby Dino—“

“Shut up,” Kuroo chuckled and was once again, amused at how Tsukishima could still act like a bitch even if his eyes are already red and his voice hoarse.

“Pretzel wouldn’t be happy that you’re sulking here. And for a whole month? She would bite you in the ass,” Kuroo waited for a minute for Tsukishima’s response but the blonde didn’t talk so Kuroo figured that he should just continue. “I’ll be going to the flower market tomorrow and if I’m not mistaken, three dozens alpine asters and daffodils will be delivered. You wanna come with me?”

Tsukishima’s eyes glistened in an instant but he quickly closed it and tried to reflect on himself. Kuroo was right, Pretzel wouldn’t be happy with what he’s doing. And a month? Has it been a month already? Tsukishima didn’t notice. His whole July was spent blandly and when he looked at his phone, he saw that it's already halfway of August. A lot of time was wasted. He could’ve gone to lots of places and have some fun in that span of time. When was the last time that he went to Indigo? When was the last time that he read a book? When was the last time that he got laid? Tsukishima’s throat went dry upon realizing that he’s wasting his time sulking.

“5 am, right?” He asked and Kuroo smiled at him then hugged Tsukishima. Kuroo readied himself to be pushed away real hard but instead, what he got was Tsukishima gripping the collar of his shirt and kissing him deeply. It was enough to bring Kuroo to cloud nine and finally realizing that it has been too long ever since they had sex. Kuroo groaned when Tsukishima swallowed his moan when Tsukishima sat on his lap.

With a shaky voice, Kuroo whispered breathlessly right on Tsukishima’s ear before biting it lightly, “Yeah, 5 am,”

—

Soft and warm sunlight washes over them while Tsukishima was all smiles as he looks at the flowers around them. He was tailing behind Kuroo and lets himself get lost in the bliss of being in the flower market. He watched and observed how Kuroo talks to the vendors. He bites back a smile when he saw that Kuroo was using his looks to get a discount.

“That's how you do it,” Kuroo whispers at him before winking as they walk with a dozen of Gerber daisy and calla lily. Tsukishima rolls his eyes and walked next to him. Kuroo stopped at a stall where different colors of hydrangea were displayed. He converses with the old lady while sliding his hand through the delicate petals of sweet pea.

Tsukishima looked around and saw the bunches of freesia and lily of the valley displayed on the store beside where they are. Kuroo saw him and smiled because Tsukishima was looking at the flowers the same way he looks at strawberries. He quickly fished a chunk of the money that Oikawa trusted him to use for the buying of flowers and gave it to Tsukishima.

“The hell?” Tsukishima exclaimed when Kuroo handed him the money.

“You pick the filler flowers and greeneries,”

“What? N-no, I don’t even—“

“You’re my student, I trust you. Just bring the receipts or else Oikawa would behead me,” Tsukishima’s breath hitched upon hearing him. Motivated and quite confident with his knowledge thanks to Kuroo, he paced towards the store. The seller let him look around as Tsukishima critiqued the greeneries in front of him. Picking the greenery for bouquets seemed like an easy job but Kuroo said that they need to bear in mind that these flower fillers and greenery could make or break the attractiveness of a bouquet. With this in his mind, Tsukishima let his nonexistent creativeness came into the surface as he envisions the kind and themes of the flower arrangement that they would do.

In the end, after Tsukishima thoroughly inspected the leaves and tiny flowers that caught his interest, he came back to Kuroo proudly with a lot in his hands. Kuroo was already done buying the focal flowers and Tsukishima was just in time. When they went back to the flower shop, Hanamaki and Matsukawa were already there, getting ready for another day. Tsukishima gawked at the alpine asters that were delivered and placed it beside their newly bought chrysanthemums and sighed at how beautiful the sight is.

Tsukishima felt warm and shy at the same time when they praised him for the filler flowers and greenery that he bought. The leatherleaf fern looked perfect, Matsukawa loved the rare Peruvian lily, Hanamaki was happily holding the delphinium, Kuroo looked satisfied when he saw the statice and tree fern. Tsukishima felt proud of his work and the sadness that he was feeling for months was replaced with a pleasant feeling in his chest.

When Kuroo’s shift ended, he dragged Tsukishima to his apartment for the first time. Tsukishima grimaced when he saw Akaashi and Bokuto on the floor while making out in fervor. Bokuto didn’t seem to be stressed with the fact that people saw them almost getting into the second base because he stood up and patted Tsukishima’s back happily, welcoming him into their home.

“Tsukki!” Akaashi said happily while hugging the taller man. Tsukishima rolled his eyes at him but still hugged him back. They settled in the living room, Tsukishima observing where Kuroo lives. It wasn’t spacious enough but it wasn’t small either. The walls were painted with a light shade of brown and the furniture seemed like it was used for too many years already. It definitely looked like a humble and simple apartment but the coziness that it was offering was felt like home.

“Measure that,” Kuroo commanded when he pulled Tsukishima into their kitchen. The ingredients were already laid out on the small countertop and Tsukishima could already guess what they’re making: macarons. The mint chocolate and strawberry flavored ones.

“You’re joking,” Kuroo said, his mouth left open when Tsukishima told him that he played volleyball in high school. “You’re so... lanky. I feel like your fingers would easily break when you block a good ass spike,”

“Shut the fuck up, I’m pretty sure there are knives in here. I can slit your throat in a second, I’m skillful with those,”

“But you told me that you’re skillful with a scalpel, not knives,”

“They’re both sharp, it's the same,” Tsukishima insisted, quite taken aback that Kuroo still remembers what he said months ago.

“Oh yeah? But I still don’t believe you,” Tsukishima crossed his arms and stopped on sifting the flour. “Whats the hand sign for change of courts?”

“Are you serious, Kuroo?” Kuroo stared at him and crossed his arms too then faced Tsukishima.

“As you can see, I bought all of these, I have the right to not give you—“

“Shut up, you blackmailer. You cunning shit,” Tsukishima spatted which made Kuroo cackle in laughter. With a heavy heart and a huff, Tsukishima raised his forearms front and back and twisted it around his body. Kuroo stifled a laugh and ordered him to do the hand signal for the delay in service. Tsukishima did it in a heartbeat using his muscle memory.

He cursed Kuroo for hundred of times already when the older man was laughing uncontrollably. His expression was stoic as Kuroo made fun of him, clearly enjoying the fact that he could blackmail Tsukishima using desserts. His face was starting to get red because of utter embarrassment when his eyes accidentally gazed at Kuroo’s pants.

“You’re getting turned on by this? Are you even sane?” Kuroo scoffed as he acts like he was offended.

“Is it my fault that you look hot when you’re doing hand signals—“

“God, you’re a hopeless pervert, Tetsurou,” Tsukishima quickly washed his hands and went to the living room to stay away from Kuroo. The thought of doing something naughty at the moment actually sounded nice to Tsukishima but Bokuto and Akaashi were just a few feet away from them and he’s not as shameless as Bokuto.

“Don’t leave me, Kei!” Kuroo shouted from the kitchen, catching the attention of the couple who are sitting on the couch while playing something that involves flicking their foreheads.

“Why did you leave my best bro, Tsukki?” Bokuto asked and Tsukishima wanted to ask him to stop calling him Tsukki because they’re still not that close but Tsukishima knew better. Bokuto is just like Kuroo, a child trapped in a grown man’s body. “I’m coming for you, baby!” Bokuto screamed as he shuffled his way towards the kitchen that made both Akaashi and Tsukishima cringe internally.

“They sound awful,” Tsukishima remarked when he sat beside Akaashi. The sound coming from the television and Kuroo and Bokuto’s voices were loud enough to keep Tsukishima and Akaashi silent for a moment, both overwhelmed with the noise.

After a few minutes, Akaashi was already leaning his head on the blonde’s shoulder. The clamor in the apartment started to still down. Bokuto and Kuroo’s voice were suddenly lessened and Tsukishima couldn’t thank Akaashi enough when he turned the television’s volume down. Tsukishima drew circles on his kneecaps as he finds the right timing to talk.

“Bokuto... you really like him?” He finally asked. Akaashi snuggled closer and nodded. “You’re happy with him?” Akaashi nodded once again that made Tsukishima hum, satisfied but still wanting to ask more.

“How about you?” Akaashi asked, his sapphire eyes striking through Tsukishima’s soul.

“Me?”

“Do you like him?” Tsukishima stayed quiet. Yamaguchi asked the same months ago but Tsukishima never thought about it because it sounded atrocious and impossible. Akaashi waited for an answer but Tsukishima was just silent, not expecting that the mere question will linger in his head for seconds, minutes, hours— until Tsukishima couldn’t count anymore.


	9. Chapter 9

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If you've come this far, I'm really reaaalllyy thankful to you! I didn't actually think that people would read this but hey, you're here (づ◡﹏◡)づ
> 
> Happy reading, everyone!

Every morning, Yamaguchi and Terushima’s loud laughs wake Tsukishima up from his deep slumber and when he gets down, the aroma of Akaashi’s cooking would waft in the air. This was the morning that Tsukishima has gotten used to for the past months, loud and always celebratory. He loved it even though sometimes his ears felt like bleeding because of the trio's singing of Disney songs, so when he woke up because of the heat brought by his least favorite season, and not by their voices, Tsukishima felt weird.

There were no boisterous waves of laughter, and the usual savory smell of scrambled eggs was replaced by a burning smell. Tsukishima went down the stairs as fast as he can, heart pounding fast as the fear of the house in fire crept into his brain. His strides were big, and as soon as he reached the kitchen, he saw Akaashi leaning on the refrigerator, looking somewhere with the salmon fillet practically burning in the pan. Tsukishima turned the stove off, and Akaashi finally reacted.

“Morning, Kei,” Akaashi whispered. “Oh! Shit, shit!” Suddenly, Akaashi was frantically shouting over the burnt food. He quickly threw it away and washed the pan to prevent the burnt food from sticking onto it. Akaashi was muttering how idiotic he was along with the soft squeaks of the sponge. Tsukishima just stared at him, letting his mind slowly comprehend whats happening. Akaashi was muttering uncontrollably, something that he only does when he’s stressed out, he didn’t even notice that the food was burning even if it's in front of him, and more importantly, there was a bruise on his wrist.

“I will kill Bokuto,” Tsukishima said angrily when he finished looking at Akaashi’s wrist. The older man’s eyes were puzzled as he retreated his arm. Tsukishima threw him a last glance before marching towards his room to grab his car keys. His chest was heaving deeply, he hasn’t felt this angry for so long.

“Tsukki, wait!” Akaashi yelled as he ran towards Tsukishima who has nothing in mind besides giving Bokuto a good couple of punches. “Wait! No! Please— no, no, you’re getting the wrong idea!”

Tsukishima stopped, his keys already in his hand, eyes focused on Akaashi who was on the verge of crying while holding his wrist. He knew that getting physical was never the answer but his fists ached too much that his knuckles were already turning white. Akaashi held his hands shakily and it resulted in Tsukishima calming down and regaining his normal breath.

“Bokuto did that?” Tsukishima said, his voice sounded like he was dropping a statement, not a question. Akaashi bit his lip and Tsukishima could see him quivering.

“It was unintentional,” Akaashi whispered but the mere sentence repeated in Tsukishima’s ears for hundred times already. He was so ready to kill Bokuto when Yamaguchi’s room door opened, revealing a red, puffy-eyed Tadashi. Tsukishima frowned even more.

“What's happening? Are you guys fighting?” Yamaguchi asked while combing his hair with his hands as an attempt to fix his cowlicks. Akaashi walked towards him and hugged Yamaguchi. Tsukishima didn’t know what to feel when Yamaguchi started to cry when he hugged Akaashi back. His grip on his car keys tightened as well as his jaw. It's just 8 in the morning but Tsukishima already felt drained.

“Are you okay? What happened?” Akaashi asked while patting Yamaguchi’s back. Yamaguchi shook his head while wiping his tears. Akaashi glanced at Tsukishima first before supporting Yamaguchi down the stairs. Tsukishima took in a deep, deep breath. He felt like suffocating with the thought of Akaashi being hurt again and its because of Bokuto whom he thought was a good guy. Yamaguchi was also crying badly, which rarely happens even though Yamaguchi always seemed like a crybaby.

Tsukishima dragged his feet to the first floor of the house, his blood boiling and an ugly feeling of disgust burning in the pit of his stomach. There, he saw both Yamaguchi and Akaashi sitting on a stool, Yamaguchi has his elbows propped on the countertop while Akaashi was trying to calm him down. Tsukishima walked to them with intent, quite scared that he’s close to losing it but lashing out on his friends instead of Bokuto would not do any of them good.

“What happened, Yamaguchi?” Tsukishima asked, making his freckled friend look at him with a pout.

“Yachi and I fought yesterday,” Yamaguchi said as tears pooled out of his eyes again. He was hiccuping from time to time and Tsukishima figured that their fight might’ve been really big, knowing that those two rarely fights because they were both soft people. They were the type of person who would apologize quickly when something was not made right even though it is not their fault.

“Do you want to tell us what happened or..” Akaashi trailed off, his eyes still not meeting Tsukishima’s ever since the blonde arrived.

“We were on the train going home, of course, it was packed— we always get off of work every fucking rush hour it sucks,” Yamaguchi stopped, then collected his thoughts again. “I was in front of her and there was this disgusting old man who has his phone under Yachi’s skirt. I got mad, of course, and somehow created a scene,”

Tsukishima felt like his blood pressure was just going _up, up, up_. Yachi was harassed. His close friend was harassed. Tsukishima was really close to bursting.

“How dare that shit harass my favorite girl. Did you punch that douchebag? You should’ve, Dashi. You should’ve given a few punches—“

“I wanted to but Yachi stopped me. We reported it to the police though but when we got off of the train, I told her to just wear slacks instead of skirts. She got mad, saying that I should not dictate what she’ll wear. I get her, I really do. I just— I don’t want to stop her from wearing what she wants but shit, what if I wasn’t there? There are perverts everywhere. I just want to protect her but she got mad at me. She— she told me to shut the fuck up,”

Yamaguchi cried louder like a kid. Tsukishima and Akaashi stayed quiet and weren’t able to process that Yachi could actually swear and she even said it to Yamaguchi. It was the first time that they heard Yachi curse. Tsukishima could understand both of them. They both have their points and it just made their argument complicated. Tsukishima cursed under his breath, suddenly wanting to kill every pervert in the world. No one deserves to be harassed especially with the way they dress. Tsukishima just couldn’t fathom why do other people couldn’t keep it in their pants.

“Dashi, baby, this is on the both of you. I’m sure that you’ll be able to figure this out. You guys are fucking strong, right?” Yamaguchi nodded and Tsukishima subtly nodded at the side too. Yamaguchi and Yachi have been together since their third year in high school. The road towards their fifth anniversary is already near. Tsukishima was pretty sure that they could go through this. There's no way that Yamaguchi would let Yachi go.

“It just feels heavy. The last time that we fought was two years ago. I haven’t felt this since then. It's foreign and lugubrious,”

“God, who the fuck uses the word lugubrious these days,” Tsukishima snickered and it brought a plethora of soft chuckles from his two friends. Tsukishima knew that the problem was already solved as soon as Akaashi hugged Yamaguchi upstairs— well, not entirely solved but, at least Yamaguchi calmed down at the very least. Akaashi has always been the grown-up between the four of them who live under the same roof. He was always there when they have problems even though sometimes, he just laughs at them when Terushima’s wickedness rubs on him. Nevertheless, he was a great friend and Tsukishima was really lucky to have him. There were times that he just wants to hug him out of nowhere but this was not one of those times, not when the bruise on Akaashi’s wrist was too eye-catching.

“Sorry for crying, I suddenly feel stupid—“ Yamaguchi was interrupted by a loud wail. The three of them looked at each other, questioning but none of them can answer. Tsukishima was the first to move, then Akaashi and Yamaguchi sprang from their seat and followed him. He opened the door and saw Terushima sitting on the doorstep, his knees tucked on his chest, tightly wrapping his arms around it.

“Teru,” Yamaguchi said, his voice easy but hoarse at the same time. Terushima stood abruptly, and hugged Yamaguchi, latching his arms around his shoulders as he continuously cries. Tsukishima wanted to ask every god and deity there is just to know the answer as to why does this was happening first thing in the morning.

Akaashi was able to make Terushima sit at the couch and now, it was Yamaguchi who was hugging him sideways. Tsukishima just followed them and tried to be laid back as much as possible. The pattern of his car keys already imprinting on his palm because of gripping too much. There was a long silence that seemed like ten minutes but Tsukishima wasn’t really sure until Terushima stopped crying.

“Yuuji, why are you crying?” Tsukishima carefully implored. Terushima wiped his tears using the back of his hand then nuzzled his head on Yamaguchi’s chest. Tsukishima’s heart clenched for the third time today because of his friends.

“I saw Akiteru,” Tsukishima tilted his head. Terushima should’ve been really happy but instead, he was doing the exact opposite thing. “He’s with a girl and she has her hand around his arm. She— they— they was talking and shit, Akiteru was all smiles,” Terushima broke into tears once again.

It took a few seconds for Tsukishima to finally swallow the nonexistent heavy rock in his throat. He didn’t know what to say. This was between his brother and friend, two of the few that he cherishes the most in his life. He never wanted to see Terushima crying because he can’t have Akiteru but he doesn’t want Akiteru to feel obligated too. The fact that Akiteru never talked about his gender makes it harder and for the record, he only dated girls back in college.

“You sure that its Akiteru?” Asked Akaashi.

“Of course, I’m sure. He could be one kilometer away from me and I’ll still know that it's him. I know that dirty blonde hair, I know his height, I know his walk.. and I also know the fact that we made out once,”

Tsukishima sighed. He forgot that part. It was the reason why Terushima was so worked up because they already kissed and now he’s hoping that there’s something more to it. Akiteru never told him about that and Tsukishima felt like the two didn’t really talk about what happened. And now, Terushima is at the end of the string.

“Did he saw you?” Tsukishima asked then leaned his head on the backrest of the couch. His eyes were on the verge of closing and just slipping into oblivion where he wanted to pull his friends too with him to forget their problems for a while.

“No. I ran fast. Heck, I wasn’t even able to go to work. My feet just moved,”

“Why is he even here? Did he changed jobs, Tsukki?” Yamaguchi asked but Tsukishima just answered him by shaking his head. Akiteru and he haven’t really exchanged words for a while, almost a month already. Their texts were brief too and if he ever moved to another job, Asami would tell that to him too.

“I fucking hate no label shits,” Terushima spatted that made Akaashi and Yamaguchi laugh but it pulled a string somewhere along Tsukishima’s chest. He pushed the thoughts to the back of his mind when a certain face flashed on his mind.

“Talk to him, Yuuji. Both of you need that,” Akaashi said then reached for Terushima’s cheeks to dry it but yelped when Terushima held his wrist. He stared at his wrist that also caught Yamaguchi’s attention.

“What's this?” Terushima asked, his voice sharp that Tsukishima almost winced. Akaashi shifted and Yamaguchi has his eyes doubled in size. “Did Bokuto did this?”

“How could— I will call the fucking police—“ Yamaguchi stood but Akaashi stopped him by holding his hand. Tsukishima was quiet and calm. His anger hasn’t subsided yet but with Yamaguchi and Terushima finding out what he saw earlier too is already a mess and joining them would result to complete chaos. Yamaguchi shouts a lot when he’s frustrated that it always shakes Tsukishima from the ground whenever he witnesses it while Terushima stays quiet for a moment and then suddenly, he’ll be trapping the person that he loathes between his knees while punching them until they bleed.

“Calm down guys, I can explain,”

“Yeah, you better be explaining or else I’ll jump on that shit and slash his throat,”

“I saw that jerk yesterday, he came into the cafe,” The preamble was more than enough to make Tsukishima’s fist clench against his car keys that it could almost cut him but Tsukishima doesn’t have anything in mind but the face of Akaashi’s ex. “Fuck— he even smiled at me. I felt like dying on the spot,” Akaashi continued even though his breath was already at an uneven pace.

“It turned my mood upside down and I lashed out on Bokuto. I didn’t mean it but I just exploded at him. He was asking me why but I couldn’t bring myself to say it. I was too caught up with my emotions that I slapped him hard. He also got mad and when I was about to walk out he grabbed me by my wrist tightly, and yeah, that's the bruise. I cried upon feeling trapped, his grip was too, too tight— so I told him to go to hell,”

“Fucking hell,” Tsukishima sighed. He wasn’t sure what to feel. Akaashi saw his ex after a long time and it certainly shattered his friend’s well being. It made him mad that he wanted to just cry but knowing that Bokuto didn’t intentionally give Akaashi a bruise was a relief.

“We should report this to the police. His restraining order should be good for two more years. How dare he,” Terushima said between gritted teeth. Yamaguchi quickly went to his room and Tsukishima hears that he was already talking to the police.

“I’m sorry about earlier. I just thought that Bokuto hurt you,” Tsukishima muttered but Akaashi shook his head at him with a smile. Once again, Tsukishima awed at how strong Akaashi is. He enclosed him in a hug and included Terushima too after a few seconds. The warmth was not new but it was still satisfying in a multitude of ways. It became even better when Yamaguchi ran to them and squished himself into the hug.

“I’ll cook,” Tsukishima said and went to the kitchen to get their food ready. The kitchen felt so distant but familiar to him at the same time that it aches. Tsukishima didn’t know why but his head felt like spinning as he grabbed the ingredients that he needed from the refrigerator. Suddenly, he was staring at the countertop then his eyes would linger on the door of the refrigerator.

_Stupid._

Tsukishima started to move when his stomach growled. The drama made him hungry. Too hungry that he was starting to see things. He almost made a disgraceful squeak when he thought that he saw Kuroo through his peripheral vision. He scrambled through the cabinets to find the measuring cups for the milk since he intended to make french toasts and it seemed easy when he watched a tutorial on how to make it. His long, slender fingers moved through the rubber spatula, dough cutter, whisks, measuring spoons until he saw what he’s looking for.

He pulled out the measuring cups to study it more. This was new. It's different from the plain white measuring cups that Asami bought. This has animated and too cute looking dinosaurs printed on it. He almost cooed at it but he was certain that he didn’t buy it even though he’s the only person who likes dinosaurs among them.

“Did you guys bought this?” Tsukishima asked while waving the measuring cup on the air for his friends to see it. They all narrowed their eyes as they look at it but then they answered in choruses of no.

“Ah— wait, Kuroo bought that. Told me that it was for you since you‘re in love with dinosaurs,” Tsukishima wasn’t sure if Akaashi’s tone was teasing or if it was just a post result of his of outburst earlier that made his voice quite cheery. This made his ears feel hot and Tsukishima hated the feeling already. When did Kuroo buy this? Why did he buy this in the first place?

“You just saw that now? Its been sitting there for months already,” Yamaguchi said while turning on the television. Tsukishima opened his mouth then closed it again, not quite sure with what to reply. He tried to search for his memories and try to remember if Kuroo ever gave him that personally but nothing came into his mind.

His grip tightened for a while but decided to shove the measuring cup back to its place. He grabbed the milk and just poured it into the bowl without measuring it, not caring if the ratio would get messed up. He followed the video playing on his phone screen quickly. Tsukishima doesn’t know why he was moving so fast like someone is about to catch him. Why was he getting all so worked up just because of the mere baking tool that Kuroo bought for him?

They finished their breakfast quietly and without any incidents. The silence almost felt like their morning was uneventful but Tsukishima knew that thousands of thoughts were going through their heads. It left Tsukishima uneasy the whole time he washed the dishes. The fact that his hands were itching to grab and awe at the dinosaur designed measuring cups were causing him vexed.

When he was lying on his bed, peacefully reading the book that he just bought, his phone vibrated. His hands reached for it and he almost shivered upon seeing the sender of the message.

_Kuroo Tetsurou_

Its been a week since he last saw him. Tsukishima has been ignoring most of his texts but Kuroo was consistent. He kept on sending Tsukishima messages asking if he should go to his house and bake something for him. He always replies with a polite no. When Kuroo asked him to fo with him to the flower market, Tsukishima turned him down and told him that he was busy. When Kuroo sent him pictures of the rocks that he painted with Bokuto, Tsukishima didn’t bother to reply even though he found it cute and ugly and the same time. Kuroo probably knew that Tsukishima was somewhat avoiding him but Tsukishima doesn’t care.

He’s practically jobless and the only thing that he’s been doing for the past weeks after getting back to his feet because of Pretzel’s death was going to Oikawa’s flower shop to lend a hand that they sometimes need and chat with Makki, Matssun, the owner himself and sometimes with Iwaizumi if he’s present. When he doesn’t feel like reading all alone in his house since all of his housemates are in their work, he would go to Akaashi’s cafe and finish a book in one sitting.

Kuroo has always been with him whenever he had the time and now that Tsukishima finally realized it, he wanted to strangle himself. He was spending too much time with Kuroo that it was getting out of hand. As much as Tsukishima doesn’t want to admit it, they’re practically attached to each other’s hip for months already.

Kuroo was just supposed to be his one night stand but he became his friend. Kuroo’s overwhelming sex appeal and Tsukishima’s impulsive and rash decision led them to become fuck buddies and it was something that Tsukishima never thought he would have. Things escalated a little too quickly that Tsukishima wasn’t able to grasp the fact that Kuroo was already his close friend. They spent too much time and energy together. This made him groan in despair.

When Akaashi asked him the question that he has been fearing last week, Tsukishima felt small even though his 6-foot frame practically towers his housemates. He wasn’t ready for the question nor he was ready for his own answer. Tsukishima has always been logical with things but Akaashi’s question felt too heavy that it could almost make his heart sink to the sole of his foot.

Tsukishima shifted in his bed and opened the message from Kuroo. Opening Kuroo’s messages have always been easy but debating with himself whether he’s going to reply was hard. Tsukishima doesn’t want to engage more and deeper into what he and Kuroo have at the moment. He has issues that are intangible, impossible to understand because he himself couldn’t comprehend what he wants too, and dragging Kuroo into it is the last thing that he wants.

_**From: Kuroo Tetsurou** _

_**3:22 pm** _

_**Image attached |** We made a pretty centerpiece today!! :)_

_Can u see how beautiful the light pink astilbes??? I would die for them!!_

_**Image attached |** Look at the fresh asters!_

_Oikawa says that he misses you already_

_I do too actually_

_Text me when u’re not busy : >_

Tsukishima’s fingers were already typing fast for a reply but he was able to stop himself and just looked at the images. Makki and Matssun were holding the gigantic centerpiece proudly with Oikawa behind them doing a peace sign. Tsukishima sighed a smile. The astilbes looked really pretty and it perfectly complimented the large blooms of white hydrangeas. The second image that was sent to him has Kuroo in it, happily holding the asters with both of his arms. Behind him was Oikawa being stopped by Makki from going to Kuroo. Tsukishima could imagine what was happening when they were taking the picture. He was sure that Oikawa was almost dying because of worry since Kuroo might ruin his expensive flowers but Makki held him still while shouting at Matssun to just take the goddamn picture so Kuroo could put the flowers back to its place and none of them would lose their job.

Tsukishima smiled at his imagination, but it didn’t bring him any bliss, instead, bitterness lingered in his lips.

He turned off his phone and buried his face onto his soft pillow and just pretend that he’s busy and will always be and the obligation of replying to Kuroo would be long forgotten. He grunted when he smelled the faint whiff of Kuroo’s perfume on his duvets. Kuroo hasn’t been in his room for a week yet his smell still lurked. Tsukishima cursed and abruptly stood up in annoyance. He was about to change everything starting from his bedsheets down to the pillowcases when Yamaguchi knocked on his door and asked him that they’re about to go to the police station.

They didn’t waste any time and went to the police station to report what happened to Akaashi. It was brief since Akaashi was only questioned a few times. Terushima was the one who came with him as he talked to the officer in charge and these were one of the times that Tsukishima awes at how easy Terushima could shift from a whole dork into a mature grown man. He could see Akaashi trembling while talking to the officer but Terushima held his hand still. When they finished their business with the police, Tsukishima told them that he’ll treat them with ice cream to lift their spirits a bit.

They ate at the nearest ice cream parlor but it wasn’t enough to bring back his friend’s usual merriness. There were a few jokes that were thrown but the mood suddenly went down the slope and became daunting when Yamaguchi shared that he and Yachi once tried the store’s 25 ice cream scoop challenge within ten minutes. Tsukishima thought that Yamaguchi was about to cry again upon remembering his fight with Yachi but thankfully, he was able to suppress it. Akaashi tried to save the mood by talking about what happened to the series that he has been watching with his excessive gestures but stopped midway when he realized that he has been watching it with Bokuto. Terushima stayed quiet the whole time as he picks up his ice cream. In the end, they just settled to go home and do whatever they need to do.

Upon reaching their house, the orange-haired boy sitting at the front of their gate immediately caught their attention. Hinata was curled up, his face buried on the space between his chest and knees. When Tsukishima finally parked his car, they quickly went to check on Hinata.

“Can I crash here tonight?” Hinata asked with a faint smile. Tsukishima just nodded at him, quite taken aback with how disheveled Hinata looks. He and Yamaguchi exchanged glances before taking their friend into the living room.

“What's the deal with you, baby tangerine?” Akaashi asked first after giving Hinata a glass of ice-cold water which the latter accepted with a small smile.

“I think that we're breaking up,” Hinata said languidly and it easily made everyone’s mouth hanging open.

“What the fuck?”

“Seriously?”

“You’re kidding right?”

“I wish I was,” Hinata chuckled lifelessly. Tsukishima felt his chest tightening. Hinata and Kageyama might be the dumbest people that he ever met but they were his friends and he knew that their relationship was just as solid as Yamaguchi and Yachi’s. The thought of them breaking up sent chills to Tsukishima’s spine.

“Why?” Tsukishima sputtered. His thoughts were scattered throughout the ground and he couldn’t gather everything. Shock flowed over him.

“He’s accusing me of cheating with Kenma. He has been going on that for months now and I don’t think that I can take it anymore,” Hinata sniffed as a couple of tears fell from his eyes. Tsukishima remembers now, the sight of Kageyama getting possessive with Hinata when they were still in university finally fits into the puzzle.

“But you’re not cheating on him, right?” Yamaguchi asked but Hinata looked at him with, frowning and his face painted with disappointment.

“Of course I’m not cheating. Kenma’s just my friend. I really love Tobio, you know,” Hinata answered with such feelings that made Tsukishima want to ask more but he refrained himself from doing so. Hinata needs space that's why he ran away from his and Kageyama’s apartment and Tsukishima would gladly give it to him.

Tsukishima ran his hands through his hair with a soft hiss. His mind was on the verge of breaking down from everything that's happening. The first was about Akaashi and Bokuto getting into a fight then Akaashi’s ex showing himself boldly. There was Yamaguchi crying because of his and Yachi’s misunderstanding and Yachi being harassed was still on the back of his mind. Terushima was crying because of Akiteru acting lovey-dovey with a girl and now Hinata and Kageyama are breaking up. Tsukishima doesn’t know why but his soul felt like getting crushed even though none of these were really his problem. He has his own problems, to begin with, but Tsukishima knew what's more important; his long time friends who stuck with him through thick and thin, even if Tsukishima doesn’t have the talent to befriend everyone, even if he was not the best keeper.

His phone vibrated for three consecutive times but he did not bother looking at it. Tsukishima’s own problems could wait. His friends’ happiness is his priority for today. Tsukishima wasn’t the expert with cheering people up but he still tried by cutting off the sensitive topic and replacing it with what they’ll have for dinner.

After a few minutes of bickering with each other, they all decided to just order five boxes of pizza. Tsukishima groaned since he told them that he was buying. Hinata argued that they’re going to do some stress eating and that Tsukishima doesn’t have the right to complain. The others supported Hinata and in no time, Tsukishima was in his room to order their dinner.

The four men on the first floor were starting to get rowdy, completely different from what's happening earlier where the aura of the house was really gloomy. Tsukishima wasn’t sure if its because they’re just stressed and are trying to release it by partying by themselves or if its just Hinata’s influence. Upon remembering the reason why Hinata was about to crash in their house, Tsukishima dialed Kageyama’s number. He and Kageyama have always been on each other’s throat and other people could easily say that they’re foes but Tsukishima knew better. They’re friends even if they never acknowledged it verbally and as a friend, Tsukishima thought that checking on him would be good. He called him three times but Kageyama’s phone was unreachable. Maybe he doesn’t want to be disturbed, Tsukishima thinks as he stopped calling Kageyama.

He stayed in his room for a while, letting himself rest for a moment amidst everything that's happening around him. The voices suddenly became quiet downstairs that made Tsukishima smile, thankful for the moment of silence that was given to him by his stressed friends. When he felt recharged again, Tsukishima went down the stairs to say that their pizza is about to arrive. Tsukishima saw Hinata first who was gawking at the rose and fairy castle cactus that is placed in the kitchen. He let him be and walked towards the living room where Akaashi, Yamaguchi, and Terushima were huddled.

“You’re in a deep shit, Dashi,” Terushima whispered but audible enough for Tsukishima.

“Why haven’t you told him yet?” Akaashi asked when he scooted closer to them. Tsukishima furrowed his eyebrows, not sure what their topic is.

“I don’t know— I just.. you know Tsukki,” Yamaguchi said, uncertainty present in his voice. Tsukishima cleared his throat to announce his presence that made the three jolt in surprise. “Fuck, Tsukki!”

“Why so jumpy? Are you keeping secrets from me, hmm?” Tsukishima asked with a smile and plopped himself beside Yamaguchi whose face looked like it was suffering from the loss of blood. The blonde waited for a perky and smart response from them like they usually do but nothing came. Just deep breaths and their exchange of eye contact with each other. Tsukishima looked at Terushima and Akaashi who were looking directly at Yamaguchi who was busy boring holes on his lap.

“What's wrong? Do you have something to say?” He said but no one responded. He stared at Yamaguchi long enough to make him feel uncomfortable and just look at Tsukishima too. Yamaguchi’s eyes were brimmed with tears and it alerted Tsukishima but Tadashi hasn’t said anything still.

“Dashi, just say it,” Tsukishima looked over at Akaashi then back to Yamaguchi. There was an unsettling feeling building in his stomach when Hinata came back from the kitchen. Terushima held Hinata’s hand to stop him from praising the cactuses for a while and it just made Tsukishima more curious than ever.

“Tadashi—“

“I’m moving out,” Yamaguchi’s voice croaked with the last word. Tsukishima stared at him unbelievably. He didn’t want to register what he’s hearing. He doesn’t want to understand it. Not like this and certainly not that. His palms started to sweat and suddenly, Tsukishima felt like faltering.

“Nice joke, I guess,” He forced out a chuckle, hoping that he’s just hearing things and Yamaguchi would say ‘sike!’. He refused to believe him with a smile while shaking his head slightly.

“I’ve been thinking about this for months already,” Yamaguchi continued instead. Tsukishima’s heart started to swell uncontrollably that it ached. The feeling of being deceived slowly sprouting in his chest. Frustration was permeating in his skin and Tsukishima never felt so unpleasant.

“You’re serious?” He asked, voice quite shaking. Tsukishima has never been good with words, especially with expressing what he feels. It was never his forte and he hated it. He detests it. He wanted to be like his friends who could easily say what they want and describe what they feel instead of just feeling everything inside without being able to relinquish anything.

Yamaguchi nodded slowly but surely. Tsukishima couldn’t pinpoint the exact shit that was happening inside him. It felt like tiny needles were puncturing his skin from the inside but then there's the acid on his stomach slowly crawling upwards to his throat. What was he feeling? Kei didn’t know it himself.

Tsukishima never removed his gaze from Yamaguchi. He wanted to say lots of things. He wanted to express how betrayed he felt because out of all people, Yamaguchi was supposed to be the last person who would ever leave him. After all, he knows. He knows Tsukishima’s fears, the ones that keep him up every night in Miyagi, the ones that keep him from building relationships with others, the ones that keep him to continue stacking bricks to prevent himself from hurting.

“You moron, you’re going to leave me too,” Tsukishima didn’t shout but the intensity in his voice made everyone in the living room flinch. Yamaguchi started to cry but Tsukishima couldn’t find himself to care anymore. Yamaguchi was leaving him. His longest friend was leaving him despite knowing his fears.

Tsukishima walked out and stormed into his room after scoffing sarcastically at Yamaguchi. He heard Yamaguchi’s knocks on his door but Tsukishima didn’t bother. He grabbed his headphones and wore it, blasting the music to the highest volume as he stomachs the circling dull pain of being left behind again.


	10. Chapter 10

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Happy reading, everyone! ヽ(>∀<☆)ノ

The first few days of September were agonizing. The weather was almost no different than the summer. The leaves of the trees were just starting to turn into bold flame orange and withering yellow. Autumn’s commencement has always been tedious and slow, just like Tsukishima’s breathing as he lay down on his bed, arms sprawled out, his hair and skin still wet from his scalding shower with only the navy towel covering his lower body. His vision is blurry, the lines that make up his simple mini chandelier were uniformly round and rough. The remaining space of the ceiling looked like it was wet with water because of the permanent bleariness in his eyes. Tsukishima hated seeing nothing but blurry pixels but he was too spent to even grab his eyeglasses.

Four quick knocks shattered the silence in his room. Tsukishima already knew that it’s Terushima. He’s the only person who knocks with the same and unique beat. He called him for breakfast but Tsukishima just answered with a weak yes, not even sure if the person from the other side of the door heard his response. His movements clearly lacked effort as he moved slowly.

Tsukishima now despises breakfast. Ever since his conflict with Yamaguchi happened, Tsukishima tried to avoid everyone, even Terushima and Akaashi, and Hinata who was still staying in their house. He just goes down to the kitchen to whip something easy to at least fuel his body with some food whenever the three of them go to work. It went on for almost two days until Akaashi barged into his room, fuming and told him to go join them with breakfast at least. Tsukishima strongly declined but Terushima backed Akaashi up and within minutes, the discussion was over.

When Tsukishima went down, the food on the table was already well prepared and for a moment, his focus was on the food solely that he wasn’t able to care too much about Yamaguchi’s presence. Terushima, Akaashi, and Hinata greeted him as usual and Yamaguchi seemed like he whispered his habitual ‘Good morning, Tsukki,’. Tsukishima just nodded at the three men, completely ignoring Yamaguchi.

“You’re gonna stay at home all day again, Kei?” Akaashi asked as he carefully cuts the pike into bite-sized pieces. Tsukishima hummed in response and ate a spoonful of rice with miso soup.

“Dashi will be here all day too since it's his day off! What a coincidence!” Terushima said while shaking Yamaguchi by holding his shoulders happily. The freckled man just smiled awkwardly but Tsukishima let his expression kept in place, face void of emotion hile eyeing Terushima.

“That's cool! You could do some movie marathon! Or you two could watch your favorite documentaries about dinosaur fossils that weighs like bam! Fifty kilos or dugshh! Hundred kilos! Very big bones, huh?” Hinata added with so much enthusiasm that it just rubbed salt on Tsukishima’s overly large wound. He clearly missed watching those documentaries with Yamaguchi but he would never admit it, especially not now that his stomach still twists and turns when he remembers what Yamaguchi said.

“I actually discovered this newly released documentary about the Tarbosaurus, Tsukki. We could watch it later—“

“I’m done. I’ll be washing the dishes later so just leave them. Be safe later,” Tsukishima abruptly stood up, leaving everyone and his almost full plate on the table. His chest was starting to get tight again as the blood slowly rushes to his head. His steps towards his room were rushed and all in big strides as if he would crumble if Yamaguchi was still in his close proximity.

Tsukishima knew that Yamaguchi was reaching out to him but he’s too infuriated to even listen to him speak. Yamaguchi’s words repeat in his head like a broken tape recorder and every time that it does, it would always leave Tsukishima thinking why. He wanted to know Yamaguchi’s reasons, from the smallest and even deepest of it but Tsukishima was never adept with conversing, particularly with sorting his thoughts out.

After a few minutes of just closing his eyes and letting his mind float into nowhere, Akaashi knocked on his door to let him know that they’re about to go to work. Tsukishima just nodded, his energy quite insufficient because of the lack of food. With nothing in particular to do, he sat, leaned his head on the headboard, and grabbed his laptop. There were about a hundred of folders in it, all of his college school works, random pictures taken from his camera were in it as well. Tsukishima stared at every picture. There were tons of photos from his high school volleyball club because Hinata and Yamaguchi always grab the camera away from him, saying that they still have the authority with the camera since they basically bought it.

A small smile crept on his lips when he saw the picture where Kageyama was sitting at the corner with his nose bleeding a little too much but Hinata was smiling so wide along with their other senpais. The video of Yachi’s first attempt to do an underhand serve that resulted in the ball having contact with their coach’s face was also there. Their reactions when they opened the letter from the university revealing that they passed were also well kept in a folder. Yachi, Hinata, and Yamaguchi were squealing happily while Kageyama and Tsukishima just smiled as they all read their own letters. Tsukishima could still remember the thrill that all of them felt. College in a prestigious University in Tokyo with his friends coming with him. It was one of the best feelings that Tsukishima felt even though his expression always looks unbothered.

A few pictures of the day that the four of them moved in in the house were also on his laptop. Akaashi had his hand on his forehead as Yamaguchi laughs at Terushima who accidentally dropped the box that is full of glasses. Tsukishima couldn’t find the situation annoying at that time even if Terushima literally destroyed all of their glasses, instead, he brought out his camera and captured the moment. Yachi, Hinata, and Kageyama’s reaction to their house was also recorded by Yamaguchi who was proud because he was the one who chose the chandelier in the living room as well as the couch.

“Tsukki! Tsukki! Look, look, Keiji, Yuuji, and I bought you a whole strawberry cake!” Yamaguchi said in one of the videos while filming Tsukishima’s reaction. Tsukishima just rolled his eyes and tried to shove the camera away from him but Yamaguchi held his cheeks using his one hand to force him to look at the camera. Terushima helped Yamaguchi to restrain him from moving too much while Akaashi swoops a handful of icing from the cake and proceeded to wipe it all on Tsukishima’s face. This made the blonde grimace at the sticky substance on his face before grabbing a handful of cake and throwing it directly on Akaashi and Terushima’s face and the last chunk of icing went straight on Yamaguchi’s face. They were all cackling happily, not minding the mess around them. The video ended with Yamaguchi saying goodbye to the camera while the three of them laid their heads on Tsukishima’s chest and stomach.

Tsukishima sighed and the distinct swirl of uncertainty started to reel in his chest again. Yamaguchi is his friend and Tsukishima knew deep in his heart that he’s one of his constants in life. His memories with him and Yamaguchi himself can never be replaced but Tsukishima just couldn’t bring himself to let this fact come into light where he could clearly see it. Yamaguchi betrayed him even if he knew that Tsukishima was afraid of people leaving him. A lone tear escaped the corner of his eye that he quickly wiped when the pang of hunger hit him, completely disturbing his thoughts.

Tsukishima pushed himself to go down, cautious if Yamaguchi was still downstairs. Much to his relief, Yamaguchi seemed to be locked in his room already. The food from earlier was inside the refrigerator, courtesy of Akaashi. He lazily reheated the food in the microwave and sat at the table alone but Tsukishima didn’t care. Being alone right now is much better than being with Yamaguchi.

“Tsukki?” Tsukishima almost choked on his soup when he heard Yamaguchi’s voice as well as his steps on the stairs. Not knowing what to do, Tsukishima almost shoved everything in his mouth, his jaw moved faster as chew. The not-really-chewed food almost blocked Tsukishima’s throat but he pushed all of it by drinking a glass of water that made his stomach churn because fuck, the water was cold as ice. “Tsukki, are you okay?”

He stood up all of a sudden, bringing the used plates in the sink without trying to look at Yamaguchi. Tsukishima tried to calm himself down as he rinses the plates with water. He opted to stay quiet and just ignore Yamaguchi. It’s should be easy for him because he has always been good at ignoring people relentlessly. Tsukishima could feel Yamaguchi’s presence behind him and it was fostering unexplainable emotions to him.

“Tsukki... Can we— can we talk?” Yamaguchi asked, almost in a whisper as he fiddles with his fingers. Tsukishima needed to bite the inside of his cheek to refrain himself from replying. Yamaguchi doesn’t deserve to hear his voice. He hurt him. He betrayed him. He would definitely not answer him nor look at him at the very least. “Please let me explain, Tsukki—“

The sound of the doorbell interrupted Yamaguchi and Tsukishima couldn’t believe that even after college, being saved by the bell would still happen to him. He was more than thankful as he removed his washing gloves to open the door without even sparing a glance at Yamaguchi even if he passed him in the process of strutting from the kitchen to the front door. Tsukishima opened the door, hoping that its Terushima who got lazy again and just decided to bail out on his job for the hundredth time but the door unveiled the only person that Tsukishima knows who has a permanent bed hair.

“Hey there, Kei,” Kuroo smiled at him but Tsukishima’s face stayed the same. His pulse felt like exploding the second Kuroo showed him a couple stems of chrysanthemums. Tsukishima wanted to close the door but his hands were frozen when he felt Yamaguchi walking towards them.

_Fuck. Fuck. Fuck!_

Tsukishima contemplated, his eyes staring completely at Kuroo’s chestnut irises. He swore silently before grabbing the small bouquet from Kuroo’s grip then holding his hand to guide him to go inside. Tsukishima figured that he could at least deal with Kuroo better instead of Yamaguchi. He would just set aside his issue about Kuroo and just act like everything’s fine until Yamaguchi gets off of his hair.

“You’re baking?” Tsukishima asked, tone quite high and happy but forced. “Wow! Let’s go, let’s bake,” Tsukishima grabbed Kuroo by his forearm and dragged him towards the kitchen. Yamaguchi looked dumbfounded just like Kuroo but he did not follow them towards the kitchen and Tsukishima almost wanted to thank him. When they reached the kitchen, Tsukishima removed his grip on Kuroo slowly then his fingers were gently clutching the bouquet.

“You sounded like an alien,” Kuroo pointed out after placing a couple of plastic bags on the countertop then crossing his arms while looking at Tsukishima who is as pale as a vampire. The younger man shot him a glare before rolling his eyes at him. He left Kuroo without a word and went into their random stuff room to grab a glass vase that is appropriate to the flowers’ size. When he got back, Kuroo was already readying the ingredients that he bought. Tsukishima sighed as he fills half of the vase with water and softly unwrapped the flowers from the kraft paper and placed it neatly in the vase. His eyes were feeling itchy when he realized that he haven’t seen flowers for a while. He looked over at Kuroo who was measuring the confectioner’s sugar like a professional and smiled a bit, slowly letting go of his problem with Kuroo because Tsukishima could pretend and it was something that he’s good at.

“Hinata texted me,” Kuroo said when Tsukishima wore his washing gloves to continue washing the plates.

“You guys are texting?” He asked, his brow arching higher than he expected.

“What? You jealous?” Kuroo snickered but Tsukishima just scoffed at him. “He told me that you’re grumpier than usual,” Tsukishima wanted to swear at his friend who can still manage to be all sunshine even if he and his boyfriend is on the brink of ending their relationship. He did not answer and just waited for Kuroo to continue speaking but the older man stopped from talking. Tsukishima could feel the heaviness and intensity of the air. He was waiting for Kuroo to get mad, to shout at him, or even curse him because he ignored him for two weeks. Kuroo had the right to get infuriated and maybe, maybe Tsukishima would feel a little better if Kuroo would lash out on him but silence filled the air.

“I’ll just probably go to Yachi’s,” Yamaguchi said before leaving the vicinity of their home. Kuroo bid him goodbye but Tsukishima just continued to wash the plates, unbothered yet relieved that Yamaguchi is not near him. When Tsukishima was wiping the plates with a clean cloth, Kuroo was working on the batter. Tsukishima stole a glance from Kuroo as he wipes the underside of the plate in circular motions. Kuroo still looked the same except that his hair was a bit longer. Tsukishima wanted to just stare and memorize every inch of Kuroo’s face. It felt like years since he last saw him and this made Tsukishima’s breathing halt for a second. He wasn’t overwhelmed with the sight of the chrysanthemums, he was overwhelmed by the appearance of the person who has that certain flower as his birth flower.

“Kuroo—“

“Can you give me a bowl?” Tsukishima complied half-heartedly, not sure if he should be irritated because Kuroo cut him off or thankful because he wasn’t really sure with what he was about to say. He handed the bowl to him and Kuroo mumbled a small thanks.

“Tsukishima,” Kuroo called out and it almost made Tsukishima’s heart stop from pumping blood throughout his system. His name never sounded so foreign and scary in his own ears. Kuroo never called him by his last name alone since he told him to just call him by Kei. It gave him a couple of goosebumps on his arms. “You literally look like a zombie. You’re a lot thinner and seriously, are you even sleeping?”

Tsukishima nodded slowly but Kuroo stared at him intently. His gaze was too pressuring and Tsukishima felt like he’s being judged by Kuroo’s cat-like eyes. Mesmerized and daunted at the same time by Kuroo’s earnest gaze, he shook his head, giving up the truth. Kuroo clicked his tongue in response and Tsukishima braced himself for an expected litany of Kuroo, lecturing him about how eating is very essential to the body but instead, Kuroo walked closer to him and held his wrist.

“I’m going to cook a lot so you’ll eat, okay?” Kuroo asked him while pressing a soft kiss on his wrist. Tsukishima wanted to refuse and tell him that he just ate but the look on Kuroo’s face was pleading to him. The heat that's gradually invading his neck and cheeks were not helping at all. Tsukishima wanted to melt at the sensation. Even if Kuroo already let go of his wrist and decided to continue his work, and the blonde is already sitting at the stool with his elbows propped on the countertop, Tsukishima could still feel the warmth and even the shape of Kuroo’s lips against his wrist.

His eyes watched Kuroo the whole time that he cooks. Kuroo was cooking five different foods and Tsukishima could already feel his stomach bursting by just looking at the hefty amount of food in front of him. The sizzling sound of the oil and the sound of vegetables being chopped engulfed the kitchen. Tsukishima followed Kuroo’s hands as he removes the pork cutlet from the pan using a thong. It was golden brown and it looked perfect, so perfect that it almost moved Tsukishima to tears without even knowing why. He grunted at the strange feeling of suddenly wanting to cry again. It doesn’t feel great, it just made Tsukishima feel weak again.

When the food was ready, Kuroo watched Tsukishima as he eats. The food was insanely a lot that it almost made Tsukishima think that it would be enough for a couple of days for a single person. He knew that he was not the big eater type of person but Tsukishima tried to eat all of it. It tasted undeniably good even though Akaashi and Asami’s cooking is still better but Tsukishima saw Kuroo’s effort. How he groaned when his elbow accidentally came in touch with the pan, how his eyebrow furrow because of how focused he was to cut the onions as perfect as possible, how hard he bit his lip to stop himself from asking Tsukishima questions because he probably knew that it would turn the mood into something awful.

“Yamaguchi and I fought,” He said after finishing everything. Kuroo rested his cheek on his palm while looking at Tsukishima. He nodded at him several times but Tsukishima couldn’t read his expression.

“I figured,” Kuroo said then stared at him for a whole minute before standing up to remove the plates. Tsukishima waited for something, another remark, a weird question, a lame joke, just something more but Kuroo stayed quiet as he washes the plates. Tsukishima tried to stand in a flash but his stomach felt so full that it felt like it would burst if he would stand, and so, Tsukishima sat still and waited for his tummy to settle down. He was fuming of anger and Tsukishima doesn’t even know why. Kuroo is definitely acting weird and it's pissing him off yet the tiny spark still burns on his wrist, making him calm a bit.

The two of them settled on the couch as Kuroo scanned the television to choose the movie that they’re going to watch. Tsukishima sat at the other end of the couch, his legs on the rest of it, his feet subtly touching the side of Kuroo’s thighs. They ended up watching another Disney movie that both of them probably watched countless times already.

“Kei, come here,” Kuroo said then gestured Tsukishima to come to him. With his mind not having a spare room to think about Kuroo’s request, he followed Kuroo’s hand and leaned the half of his back on Kuroo’s chest. The dark-haired man wrapped his arm around Tsukishima’s shoulder and pulled him even closer. Tsukishima sighed contently as he felt Kuroo’s body heat even through his white knitted sweater. His scent was sending Tsukishima to oblivion. Too good that Tsukishima cried.

Tsukishima unconsciously cried himself to sleep but woke up with Kuroo running his fingers deep through his hair while planting soft kisses on his forehead. Suddenly, he couldn’t feel the heaviness of his eyes from crying, all he could feel was Kuroo’s warmth. He stayed quiet, satisfied with what's happening while his eyes are still closed. Tsukishima felt like he could stay like this forever but his neck already feels stiff from their position so he shifted, making Kuroo move too.

“How long was I asleep?”

“Approximately five hours,” Tsukishima’s eyes widened automatically. That was probably the longest nap that he ever had. He looked at the windows and saw the sun slowly going down, the sky bursting in pink and orange hues. Kuroo stood up and stretched, a few grunts escaped his lips when his bones made a few satisfying cracking sounds. Tsukishima wondered if Kuroo just stayed on the couch with him the whole time he’s asleep if Kuroo just continuously play with his hair while whispering things that Tsukishima never heard. Regardless of the starting pain on his neck, Tsukishima felt good. It was the most peaceful sleep that he had ever since his issue with Yamaguchi came into the surface. His puffy eyes looked ugly but Tsukishima almost considered crying every time before going to sleep because who would’ve thought that crying yourself to sleep would result in a pleasingly great sleep?

“You drooled at me,” Kuroo said with a grin making Tsukishima open his mouth to defend himself but Kuroo quickly flicked his head. “What do you want for dinner?”

Tsukishima rolled his eyes at him but almost jumps in surprise when he realized that Yamaguchi is probably about to go home. He doesn’t want to have dinner with him and more importantly, his eyes are a mess and Yamaguchi seeing him in his current state would lead to them talking because of Yamaguchi’s endless questions. It's definitely not in Kei’s plans for the night.

“Let's go out,” Tsukishima said in a haste before standing up.

“W-what?”

“I don’t want to eat dinner here,” Kuroo let out a small huff and his face was void of surprise again. Tsukishima just narrowed his eyes at him before going to his room and grabbing his wallet then throwing on a casual shirt and capri pants. Kuroo followed him into his room, leaning on the door frame with his arms crossed.

“Why?” Kuroo asked as he removes his shirt only to replace it with a more casual one. Tsukishima wasn’t bothered by the fact that Kuroo was watching him undress and dress. They’ve seen each other’s body for too many times already that this was already considered as normal. He looked at Kuroo and saw the faint blush on Kuroo’s cheeks. Tsukishima could only smirk, but his smirk was wiped down when he remembered that Kuroo and he hadn’t had any kind of extreme physical contact for two whole weeks and it was the reason why Kuroo was already getting hard just by seeing Tsukishima change his clothes.

“Yamaguchi’s about to go home, don’t wanna eat dinner with him,” Tsukishima said instead and removed the thought of kissing Kuroo until they were both breathless.

“Then he’ll be eating alone?”

“He’ll manage,”

_He’s about to live on his own. He needs to learn how to eat alone. Yamaguchi can fucking eat alone._

Tsukishima’s mouth tasted bitter upon knowing that he was right, but his heart clenched at this. Yamaguchi is about to leave and just the thought of it is enough to make Tsukishima hurt all over again. He rolled his eyes when his heart wasn’t coordinating with his mind. Yamaguchi hated eating alone since they were kids and accompanying him every meal became Tsukishima’s job to let him know that he’s not alone. He would hate to see Yamaguchi feeling gloomy because of eating alone but Tsukishima was hurting too, and this time, maybe, it’ll be better if he would forget about his job.

Tsukishima’s hands were in his pockets as they walk side by side. Kuroo was gushing about the large takoyaki that was being sold near their apartment. Tsukishima listened to him as he tells him how incredible the taste was and how his and Bokuto’s tongue got burned because they were too excited to eat. Kuroo even showed him a small flat rock that he painted a week ago. Tsukishima couldn’t really recognize the drawing but he assumed that it was a cat.

“Cat my ass! This is a fucking flower!” Kuroo said, a little too loud that made other people look at them. Tsukishima hushed him but Kuroo started acting like he was hurting. Completely embarrassed with how the older man acts, Tsukishima walked faster and left Kuroo behind while acting like he doesn’t know him at all. He could hear Kuroo’s laugh as he jogs to get by his side again. Their shoulders brushed again each other and this made Tsukishima look at Kuroo.

Everything that was happening was serene. The night is just starting and the wind was getting colder every minute. The sign on the stores beside them was illuminating bright but soft lights. The leaves of the trees lined up on the sidewalk were turning into the colors of autumn. Its been a while since he actually set his foot outside their house. Even though Tsukishima wasn’t the type of person who loves to go out often, walking outside right now was apparently the best decision he has made for the night.

After a few minutes of arguing where to eat, they ended up at a small ramen stall near the park. Kuroo ordered the most expensive thing on the menu making Tsukishima roll his eyes at him. The steam from the hot broth made Tsukishima’s glasses fogged up from time to time but Kuroo would always get it and wipe it clean with the hem of his shirt. The night was calm, the park behind them is unusually quiet, only a few couples of people were hanging around.

_Feels awfully nice._

“Eat more, my sweet zombie,”

“Fuck you,” Kuroo chuckles as he places their second serving of ramen in front of them. He sat excitedly and started to eat and it almost pushed Tsukishima to do the same, but he just stared at his chopsticks, chest heaving.

“Kei? You okay?”

“My father left us for another woman,” Kei croaks out, making Kuroo stop from eating. “We had this bond that I thought was strong but it was all destroyed when he and Mom divorced. I was 11, almost 12, then things started to get fucked up,”

“Kei, you don’t need to force yourself to tell me this—“

“It’s okay,” Kei breathes and sighs, not wanting anything but to just let the continuously looming fear out of his chest. “I was appalled, too much that anxiety started to grow in me,” Tsukishima could still remember everything vividly. They were having their usual movie night but then the next day, his parents were separating. It came to him like a train, rushing and is moving at its fastest speed. Tsukishima wasn’t ready, there were no signs, it just appeared in front of him and haunted him up until now.

“I’m afraid of being abandoned, Kuroo. Yamaguchi knows that. He knows that too well but he..” Tsukishima bit his lower lip hard that it was turning white but the teetering emotion inside him was reeling chaotically. It was the first time that he verbally mentioned it with such details. Yamaguchi doesn’t need to hear the story since he has seen everything with his own eyes. Terushima and Akaashi knew it too but Tsukishima just told them a few bits, while Yachi, Kageyama, and Hinata just knew that he has issues. Nothing more, nothing less.

“Yamaguchi’s not abandoning you though, Kei,” Kuroo said with a soft voice. Tsukishima stared at him with his damp eyes. Kuroo’s expression was unreadable but Tsukishima was relieved to see that there's no trace of pity on his face because its the last thing that Tsukishima needs.

“He’s moving out,”

“He’s _just_ moving out. Out of your house, not out of your life,” Tsukishima was stilled for a moment. The wind blew and he got a better glimpse of Kuroo’s face when his blonde locks were rearranged by the wind. Confusedness swarm over him, it engulfed him. “Come on, Kei. Yamaguchi is literally your twin. He’s been with you since day one, right?”

Tsukishima didn’t answer nor moved even a bit. His mind was in haywire as he let every word that Kuroo says sink into his consciousness. He didn’t even flinch when Kuroo grabbed his right hand and grazed his knuckles with his thumb.

“This might hurt you but you’re not his whole life. He has his own and he’s starting to build it right now,” Kuroo continued but all Tsukishima could think was how selfish he has been for the past week. Yamaguchi stayed by his side all the time, taking care of him and supporting him with everything that he wants to do. Yamaguchi was nothing but a good friend— no, he’s a family, and Tsukishima got mad at him for trying to stand all alone. The guilt was seeping on his skin. It is miserable, he is miserable.

Tsukishima started to cry but Kuroo held him together. His cries were silent as he let his tears out. The amount of the tears that he cried out earlier was already insane, Tsukishima was shocked that he still has tears left. He didn’t care about the vendor or the people passing by looking at him crying miserably. All he wants was to apologize to Yamaguchi, hug him tight, and say sorry again and again.

It seemed like hours passed when Tsukishima finally calmed down. Kuroo cupped his cheeks with both of his hands and forced him to look at his face.

“You now realize that it's your mistake?” Tsukishima nodded slowly then Kuroo removed his glasses to wipe his tears with his thumb. “Feeling better now?” Tsukishima nodded again, his vision clearing immediately when Kuroo placed his glasses again to its place. “You’re gonna say sorry now to your poor friend?”

“God, please shut up,” Tsukishima said then removed Kuroo’s grasp on his cheeks. He was supposed to be embarrassed by how awful he is but with Kuroo, he felt validated. He knew that Kuroo isn’t going to judge him but when the reality hit him, Tsukishima could only groan. “Ah fuck, I literally told you all of my shit in life,”

“I know, well, wrong move, Tsukki, I would never shut up about it,” Tsukishima shot him a glare but Kuroo looked unbothered as he eats his now cold ramen. “Just kidding, I would be as quiet as a dog,”

“Dogs are loud,”

“Exactly,”

“You know what? I will—“

“Don’t get mad my sweet zombie, people might think that you’re scary,” Tsukishima just stared at him, tired of Kuroo’s undesirable nicknames as his unexplainable and dry, dry humor appears.

“I am scary,” He said in between furrowed eyebrows before stuffing his mouth with a whole boiled egg. Kuroo gave his own share of boiled egg and placed it on Tsukishima’s plate then draped his arm around the blonde man.

“No, you aren’t. You’re just... sharp on all of your edges but you’re friendly,”

“Yeah, friendly,” He replied blandly, uninterested with the topic because he knew that there’s no arguing with whether he’s friendly or not because he’s just not. End of discussion. The fuzzy feeling of sleepiness after crying his eyes out was slowly coming into him too.

“You’ve got along well with Oikawa, Makki at Matssun though,” Kuroo said making Tsukishima stop from eating. Was he really? Tsukishima scrunched his nose upon remembering their first meeting. Yeah, he did get along well quickly with them.

“I declined Matssun’s invite for a karaoke night for his birthday,” Tsukishima argued then slurped on the noodles.

“But you gave him a cake the day after,” Tsukishima looked at Kuroo. “See? You’re slowly getting jelly, Tsukishima Kei,” Kuroo wiggled his eyebrows at him but Tsukishima just rolled his eyes. He couldn’t grasp what was Kuroo was saying. Was he really getting better with people? Was he starting to get better? Tsukishima didn’t want to get his hopes up.

“Hey, Kei, can I ask you something?” Kuroo asked when they were walking around the park because Kuroo insisted. Tsukishima just hummed in response, freely breathing in the fresh autumn breeze. “If you’re afraid of being abandoned, then why do you do one night stands?”

Tsukishima knew the answer by heart but dragging it out from his mind and voicing it out was a lot harder than he expected. One night stands are his temporaries, they’re the people that he wouldn’t have to think about them the next day because as soon as they finished their business, the ties were cut off immediately. It's easy, with no strings attached, and quite fun. It helped Tsukishima relieve all his pent up stress.

“Because I know that they’re just temporary,” Tsukishima saw Kuroo nod from his peripheral vision. Both men stayed quiet after that, unspoken words lingering around them. Despite all of the hanging nothingness, Tsukishima threw a glance at Kuroo, the person that leaped from being his temporary into someone that is —

“What are you smiling at, huh?”

“Nothing,”

Tsukishima smiles even more.


	11. Chapter 11

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Happy, happy reading everyone! ( ´ ∀ `)ノ～ ♡

Everyone who knows Tsukishima would say that he is a very laid back person, uptight even. He’s calm and quiet and has a rational way of thinking. But all of these are nowhere to be found as Tsukishima pace around his room, his hands fidgeting while chewing on his lower lip. He has been pacing for almost five minutes now and its already making him dizzy but his nerves were still wrapped in anxiety.

He and Yamaguchi seldom argue and if they do, Yamaguchi would always be the first one to reach out. Tsukishima just listened and they will both sort out their thoughts and everything will go back to normal as if nothing happened. Tsukishima was excellent with listening, but never with the talking. This made him shudder in nervousness as he held a brown envelope that is full of developed pictures that he got yesterday.

Last night was weird but an eye-opening night for Tsukishima and having Kuroo beside him somewhat made him feel better. He got agitated real bad last night when he couldn’t think of anything to give to Yamaguchi as a peace offering. Kuroo was unbelievably patient as he gave him ideas and it just made Tsukishima more thankful to him. They both ended up in a printing studio to print the photos that he’ll give to Yamaguchi, an idea fresh from Kuroo’s mind. He printed a lot along with the last pictures of Pretzel. He almost cried but Kuroo held his hand that sent electricity throughout his body that made his eyes stop watering. Tsukishima wasn’t sure if that was a good thing.

“Fucking hell,” He muttered when his head felt heavy and empty at the same time because of dizziness. Tsukishima looked at his clock and groaned when it's almost 8 o’clock. Yamaguchi is probably in his room getting ready for work and any minute now, Terushima would knock at his door to let him know that breakfast is ready, and he’ll have no time. He doesn’t want to prolong his fight with Yamaguchi and just apologize to him before he could go to work but his whole being is still restless and really, really nervous that Tsukishima couldn’t find any words to describe it.

“Stop chickening out, you’re not a chicken in the first place, Kei,” Kuroo said to him with a child-like chuckle before they went home and it was repeating on his head for the thousandth time already.

Half determined and half nauseous, Tsukishima marched towards Yamaguchi’s room. He closed his eyes before knocking at his best friend’s door. There were a few shuffles of noise inside before the door was opened softly, something that Yamaguchi always does doesn’t matter what kind of door it is, he just opens and closes them in a such delicate way.

“T-tsukki,” Yamaguchi said, his voice shaky. Tsukishima tried to smile at the very least but his knees felt like wobbling. They were staring at each other for a few seconds until Tsukishima moved, bringing the envelope up to his chest so Yamaguchi can see it. “What's that? Ah well, it doesn’t matter.. Do you want to go inside? I mean if you only want to. I’m not pushing you—“

“Okay,” Tsukishima said and Yamaguchi quickly moved to the side and opened the door wider. Tsukishima went inside and sat at the corner of the bed like he always does whenever he’s inside Yamaguchi’s room. That certain part of the bed is already his self-proclaimed territory in Yamaguchi’s room, just like how Yamaguchi claims the swiveling chair in Tsukishima’s room.

The silence was deafening when Yamaguchi finally closed the door. He stayed beside the door, and Tsukishima could see how nervous Yamaguchi is too. Tsukishima hated how awkward it was as they look at each other, both wanting to say a lot but not having the courage. Guilt washes over him knowing that he was the one who started this and it already felt like months since they last talked. Tsukishima was completely embarrassed by himself.

“U-uh here,” Tsukishima said then handed out the envelope making Yamaguchi walk towards him and grab it from his hands uneasily. Upon getting the envelope, Tsukishima watched him as he opens it while settling himself on the bed too but still leaving a few inches between them. “I was just thinking that maybe you’d like to put some of those in a frame or whatever in your new home,”

“Tsukki..” Yamaguchi whispered while shuffling through the pictures. Based on the way that he talked, Tsukishima was sure that Yamaguchi was already crying. He wanted to say something, just anything that could make Yamaguchi feel better, to remove the burden that he gave him because Tsukishima was selfish. “I’m sorry—“

“No,” Tsukishima stopped him, his voice quite higher than usual. “Don’t even say that. I’m the one who needs to say that,” Tsukishima breathes and searches his brain for the right words to say. It was hard for him, for someone who doesn’t really speak his mind. “I was only looking out for myself. It was selfish. I’m sorry, Tadashi. I really am,” He could feel the hot tears prickling his eyes as Yamaguchi looked at him with tears streaming down his face. Tsukishima’s heart tightens and he could only blame himself again and again.

“You’re not mad at me anymore?” Yamaguchi asked and Tsukishima nodded a little too eager that made the freckled boy laugh, his eyes creased more that made a few more couples of tears escape his eyes. “You look like a dog. It's cute,”

“I’m not,” Tsukishima narrowed his eyes at him as Yamaguchi continuously giggles, letting the envelope reside at his lap to laugh freely while covering his mouth.

“Yeah, you do, Kuroo highly thinks that you do,”

“Shut up, Yamaguchi,”

“Are you really saying that to me right now? You were just apologizing to me a minute ago!” Yamaguchi exclaimed then plopped himself into the middle part of the bed, leaning on the headboard with his feet crossed. Tsukishima just rolled his eyes at him but still moved to sit beside Yamaguchi. Tsukishima couldn’t fathom the emotion that was circling inside him as they both chuckle at some of the pictures, at the memories that they reminisce. Yamaguchi is one of his permanents in life and he would never be able to picture himself without him. He’s a big part of his life and Tsukishima could feel cloud 9 now that he finally resolved his fight with Yamaguchi. It took him two weeks and thought that maybe it's too late but Yamaguchi still accepted him and Tsukishima thought that maybe Yamaguchi is too good to be true.

“Oh! I haven’t seen this picture for years!” Yamaguchi said while shoving the picture on Tsukishima’s face. It was a picture of them when they were second years. Yamaguchi was on Tsukishima’s back, the aftermath of Tsukishima and Kageyama’s bet. Tsukishima was just staring at the camera with his piercing gaze while Yamaguchi was smiling widely, his other hand clutching the blonde’s shirt tightly while the other did a peace sign. Tsukishima studied the picture more as Yamaguchi moved on to the next. Kageyama was beside them with a satisfied smirk. Hinata took the picture and was that Yachi?

“Yamaguchi, look,” He said then gave the picture back to Yamaguchi while pointing at Yachi. She was holding a ball with an unexplainable expression while looking directly at the two of them.

“Oh my god. This was probably the time that she thought we were dating,” Yamaguchi said, horrified but was stifling a laugh. Tsukishima couldn’t help but to fake gag at the memory. Yamaguchi came running to him, face red as a beet as he gushes about how awkward it was when Yachi told him that she thought that he and Tsukishima were dating because they’re always too close. Tsukishima grimaced, even more, wanting to ask Yachi why did she even though of that in the first place.

“She’s crazy,”

“Hey!” Yamaguchi scolded that made Tsukishima shut up. Yamaguchi put down the picture and looked at the others. Tsukishima could actually see the sparkles in Yamaguchi’s eyes while looking at the picture from their college graduation. The one with Hinata, Kageyama, and Yachi in them and the other one with Terushima and Akaashi. He quickly chose those pictures in a heartbeat as the pictures that will be put in a nice frame in his bedroom.

There were probably fifty pictures, and Tsukishima thought that it was too many. There was a picture where the four of them were wearing a face mask to rejuvenate their skin just like what Terushima told them. A few from their birthdays were there too. A couple from their childhood back in Miyagi. Both of them were still eleven with their wide smiles as they eat the cookies that Asami baked. There was also the time when they had a play and Tsukishima was chosen to play as the tree by his classmate. Not wanting a lot of attention, he agreed while Yamaguchi opted to be the grass rather than being the prince. The eleven-year-old Kei thought that it was stupid to give out the prince role to be the grass but now, eleven years after, Tsukishima realized that it was because he’ll be alone at the side of the stage the whole play and Yamaguchi did that just to accompany him.

“Yamaguchi, thank you for everything. I’m really thankful to have you beside me all the time,” Tsukishima said and his eyes started to water again but this time he didn’t bother to stop it. His heart was so full, it’s overflowing with warmth, happiness, and above all of it, his love for Yamaguchi. He’s his first friend and he’s the person who saw him went through everything. Tsukishima would admit that he’s not the easiest person to be with but Yamaguchi stayed by his side. All of his friends stayed by his side.

“I’m happy to be your friend, Tsukki,” Yamaguchi said before throwing himself on the blonde. Tsukishima could feel him crying, they were both crying, but now, much to his desire, they’re crying happy tears. Something that Tsukishima never thought would happen. “I’m not leaving you, okay? I’ll still be your best friend and that means that I should be the number one on your phone,”

Tsukishima broke the hug and fished his phone from his pocket. He went to the dial section and long pressed the number one and the screen quickly changed with Yamaguchi’s name illuminating. Yamaguchi giggled when his phone rang.

“I’m your number one?”

“Well, you earned it,” Tsukishima said and reminded himself again to not let Akaashi, Terushima, and Akiteru know this. It would create chaos and Tsukishima will never be ready for that.

“Dashi baby? Breakfast is ready,” Terushima said from the other side while knocking. Yamaguchi quickly jumped out of his bed to open the door. Tsukishima grabbed all of the scattered pictures and arranged it to put everything inside the envelope again.

“Good morning, Yuuji,”

“Good morning, Yama—“ Terushima stared at Tsukishima, eyes wide and mouth hanging open. “Are you guys okay now?”

“Well, yeah,” Yamaguchi said while rubbing his nape. This made Terushima squeal really loud before hugging Yamaguchi then dragging him along to hug Tsukishima. The blonde tried to resist but Terushima was adamant to envelop him in a bone-crushing hug.

When Terushima was finally quenched with hugging and saying how happy he is now that they’re okay. Tsukishima just smiled but deep inside, he’s the happiest. As soon as Yamaguchi’s necktie was settled, the three men went down for breakfast.

“Holy shit,” Akaashi gasped upon seeing Yamaguchi and Tsukishima walking beside each other. This made Hinata look at them too and in a flash, Akaashi and Hinata were hugging them. They all ended up on the floor with Tsukishima at the rock bottom, squished by four other men. Akaashi was crying while Hinata, Yamaguchi, and especially Terushima, laughed.

After rearranging Tsukishima’s skeleton with their hug that was more of torture, they started to eat their breakfast. Yamaguchi boasted about being Tsukishima’s number one that turned everything into a loud mess. Akaashi exclaimed with all his heart while Terushima tried to snatch Tsukishima’s phone away. Yamaguchi was stopping Terushima desperately while Hinata was just snatching Yamaguchi’s share of pike. Tsukishima tried his best to contain himself as Akaashi and Terushima express how betrayed they are while Yamaguchi was cackling happily, proud to be Tsukishima’s number one.

As the days go by, Tsukishima could always hear Yamaguchi talking to someone on his phone, conversing about his apartment as well as the moving company that would be responsible for all of his things. Tsukishima was more than sad when Yamaguchi started packing. He wanted to ask Yamaguchi if his mind is already made up but he knew that Yamaguchi is the type of person who doesn’t decide on a whim.

All of them helped Yamaguchi and in a blink of an eye, Yamaguchi’s room was full of boxes. Terushima and Akaashi, even Hinata decided to call off work for the day when it was Yamaguchi’s time to move. They used Tsukishima’s car and went to Hachiōji City where Yamaguchi’s work and new apartment lies. They fetch Yachi along the way too and the ride was quite long and unlike their usual road trips where everyone except Tsukishima are singing or imitating a crappy drama, they stayed quiet. The solemness was foreign and it literally gave Tsukishima uncomfortable creeps. Tsukishima knew that Akaashi and Terushima were feeling the same way, sad and dejected. They’ve been living together for four years and this is going to be a huge adjustment to all of them, not just to Yamaguchi.

But thankfully, Hinata, a natural ball of sunshine was there with them. Tsukishima saw Hinata’s effort to try and revive their souls. Yachi started to back up Hinata and slowly but surely, everything started to go back normally. Terushima and Akaashi rapped and failed, their tongue twisting on the words while Yachi waves her hand in fervor. Yamaguchi was the last to join the mess, singing the chorus of a certain in the most comical way. Hinata tried beatboxing but failed miserably. Everyone was laughing and Tsukishima thought that everything felt perfect at the moment. The autumn breeze felt good when they opened the car windows and the trees were now beautifully colored in dark oranges, yellows, and reds.

Yamaguchi’s apartment was on the second floor and the boxes were already on it. It was delivered by the moving company yesterday and now, all Yamaguchi has to do is to unpack. Everyone helped and in just a few hours, the boxes were folded and Yamaguchi’s apartment felt more like home than an empty space.

“We’re going shopping tomorrow, Dashi,” Terushima said after drinking his soft drinks, courtesy of Yamaguchi whom they pushed to serve them food because they are his visitors. Terushima then started to gush about designing Yamaguchi’s living room and dictating what kind of couch are they going to buy. Akaashi quickly turned him down, saying that he still has work but Terushima just stuck his tongue out.

They were all sitting on the bare floor with a can of soft drinks on their hands while talking about random kinds of stuff. It always surprises Tsukishima how they are not running out of topics even though they’re all together for years. But he exactly knew why. All of them have been together, and the memories that they shared connects them more, strengthens their already strong bond.

When the sun was about to go down, Akaashi decided to call it a day and let Yamaguchi rest on his own apartment with a matching wink. Everyone congratulated the freckled man and gave him a hug. Yamaguchi walked them out of the door with a smile while holding Yachi’s hand.

“I’m proud of you,” Yachi said before planting a soft kiss on Yamaguchi’s cheek that turned him into a blushing mess. Tsukishima snorted at this but Yamaguchi was quick to kick him on the back of his knee, making the blonde stumble. Hinata laughed loudly so Tsukishima started to say mean things to him that led to their usual diss competition, like what Hinata calls it.

“You don’t have a job!” Hinata yelled then stuck his tongue out on Tsukishima. The blonde scoffed and stood right in front of Hinata, towering him easily.

“But I still have more money than you,” Hinata crossed his arms then quickly ran towards Akaashi who was already in front of the car. Yamaguchi was gesturing them to be quiet since their voices were literally on the loudest volume and being hated by his neighbors on his first day is the last thing that Yamaguchi wants to happen.

“Well, Akaashi loves me more,” Hinata said and hugged the older man.

“Yes, yes, this is Bokuto and I’s child,” Akaashi said with a smirk while running his hand through Hinata’s hair. He glanced at Terushima who has his puppy eye mode activated, clearly waiting for Tsukishima to use him too to make Hinata envy him. Tsukishima stared at him for a few seconds, contemplating on whether it is worth it to really use Terushima. The man was already gesturing him to hug him but Tsukishima just rolled his eyes at him, saying that there’s nothing be envy for if its just Terushima’s he’s using. Upon hearing this, Terushima jumped on Tsukishima and pulled his hair. This went on for a few minutes until Yamaguchi begged them to stay quiet.

“We’ll be on our way now, Dashi baby!” Akaashi said through the window of the car. Everyone waved him goodbye and Yachi even flew a kiss before Tsukishima started to drive. The ride going home was more serene than it was earlier. Hinata, Yachi, and Terushima fell asleep while Akaashi was just on his phone, probably texting Bokuto. Tsukishima was just tapping on the steering wheel along with the music, happy and really proud of his best friend.

The next few days felt easier than Tsukishima thought it would be. The house was still full of joy even if the room beside Tsukishima is already empty. Kuroo started to go to their house again every Wednesday to bake something for Tsukishima. Their usual hookups happened too that always leaves both of them more than satisfied but still wanting more.

Bokuto’s visit to their house became more often that always leads to Akaashi beaming nonstop. Terushima was still haven’t talked to Akiteru but just like Hinata, they were trying their best to act normal, still blissful despite their love life slowly demolishing itself. Tsukishima never saw Hinata return Kageyama’s call in his weeks of staying in their house. He wanted to talk to him out of it but Tsukishima knew that it's their problem and he wouldn’t dare to interfere. His trust on them and their relationship is big, Tsukishima firmly believes that they’ll be able to fix what needs to be fixed.

“How was it?” Kuroo asked, waiting for Tsukishima’s reaction. The blonde slowly chews, letting the flavors invade his mouth. Kuroo leaned more, closer to Tsukishima as he excitedly waits.

“They’re not bad,” Kuroo thrust his fist on the air happily and made some weird celebratory noises. “But still not strawberries sooo... ah fuck— Kuroo!” Tsukishima openly glared when Kuroo slapped the back of his head. Tsukishima tried to get back at him by kicking him, confident that his long legs would reach Kuroo who was laughing.

“I’m seriously wondering how you’re still not in a sugar coma,”

“I’ll put you in a coma, you ugly cat,” Tsukishima said before putting the plate of ham and cheese puff pastries somewhere safe. Once finished, Tsukishima continued kicking Kuroo who was on the other side of the couch. Tsukishima succeeded and was able to land a few kicks on Kuroo’s side. Kuroo was trying to fend off his kicks but Tsukishima was surprisingly stronger than he expected, and so, Kuroo grabbed the blonde’s feet moved closer to him. Kuroo pushed his legs upwards, his hands tightly gripping his ankles. Tsukishima shrieked, completely aghast with whats happening. Kuroo smirked when Tsukishima’s knees were pressed on his chest.

“Ooohh flexible,” Kuroo remarked with his cat-like grin that Tsukishima wanted to erase from his face.

“So what? Turns you on?” Tsukishima snickered, letting the same grin that Kuroo has to reside on his lips. Kuroo’s other hand started to stroke the back of Tsukishima’s thighs, his touch hot even with the thin fabric of sweatpants. Kuroo leaned in, even more, his face now only a few inches away from the younger man. Tsukishima could feel his heart pounding on his throat, the blood rushing to the both of his heads. The sexual tension between them has always been high, but their sex for the past few days was something as if they missed each other’s body because of their two-week break.

“It does,” Kuroo breathed against his lips, making Tsukishima’s heart and dick throb. “It really does,” Kuroo removed his grip on Tsukishima’s ankles, making it fall down on both of his sides. Kuroo kissed him and Tsukishima melted onto the couch. Everything felt lightweight as Kuroo’s soft lips kiss him like he means it, just like what he always does. His hands found their way to Kuroo’s dark locks and nape. This made Kuroo groan in their kiss and quickly hovered Tsukishima completely.

Hurried kisses full of tongues and teeth were the only type of kisses that Tsukishima knows. Kuroo kissed him that way too for countless of times but as weeks turns into months, Kuroo’s kiss felt more delicate that it makes Tsukishima feel floaty all over. The rough make-outs turned into soft, sweet like strawberries kisses. Devouring someone never felt so good, so pleasing, so real.

Tsukishima internally shudders.

“Oh! Then there's this really big cat that we saw yesterday and its eyes were blue like the ocean! It was so pretty, auntie!”

Upon hearing Hinata’s voice, Tsukishima never got up so fast in his life. Their foreheads bumped on each other making both of them wince. Kuroo shot a glare at Tsukishima but the blonde was too preoccupied when Asami and Hinata walked in on the living room with her sweet smile. Tsukishima stood up and tried his best to hide the bulge on his pants.

“Kei!” Asami yelled and hugged his youngest son. Tsukishima hugged her back, but not completely since he needed to be careful to not let his lower body press on his mother. Kuroo laughed at him and stood up to greet Asami too.

“Why are you here, Mom?” Kei asked but his mother replied to him with a slap on his arm. Tsukishima breathe deeply and asked the gods why was he getting a slap for the second time.

“Oh, Kei, there are times that I’m not sure if you’re really smart or dumb,” Asami said while shaking her head disappointedly. Tsukishima just furrowed his eyebrows, not really know what to feel with what his mother just said.

“He’s dumb,” Kuroo slipped into the conversation, earning a scowl from the blonde.

“Yeah, Tsukishima Kei’s a dumb dumb,” Hinata added making Tsukishima desire to just ask the television or maybe the couch to engulf him so he’ll not deal with everyone.

“It’s your birthday tomorrow, of course, I need to be here!” Asami said with a bigger smile. Tsukishima was frozen for a second, letting the information seep into his mind.

“It's my birthday tomorrow?” Tsukishima asked and everyone nodded at him.

_Oh. It's my birthday tomorrow._

The day felt like it was on fast forward that Tsukishima couldn’t grasp what was happening. Morning rolled in a flash and just like any other day, Tsukishima felt nothing special with this particular day. He started his morning just like he always does and checked his phone to see if anyone important messaged him.

_**36 new messages** _

Tsukishima checked all of it and everything was greetings of happy birthdays from his acquaintances from his high school and college. He sighed before composing a reply and just copy-pasted the same message for everyone. He didn’t need to worry about the notifications and greetings from the people in his social media accounts since his birthday is shown publicly. Tsukishima may not be as enthusiastic like a normal birthday boy, he’s deeply thankful for the people who remember his born day, not just because it notified them on social media, but because they truly remembered it.

He was about to go down when a new message arrived. Another birthday greeting, he assumed, making him quickly open the message to quickly reply and eat his breakfast already.

**_From: Kuroo Tetsurou_ **

**_9:46 am_ **

_Kei_

_Kei !!!_

_Good morning, my strawberry <2_

_That was supposed to be a heart. Like this <3_

_Did you know that an inch of rainwater is equal to ten inches of snow??? Cool shit, right??_

_Plus..._

_J is the only letter that is not in the periodic table_

Tsukishima scoffed at Kuroo’s short chain of messages but still smiled a bit. It was always like this, him waking up to Kuroo’s messages that are always about facts of something, anything. Tsukishima then found out from Bokuto’s big mouth that Kuroo is actually smart and he loved chemistry. Tsukishima hated it though, but the way Kuroo says something about it makes chemistry somewhat manageable.

**_To: Kuroo Tetsurou_ **

**_9:48 am_ **

_Good morning_

_Wow. Cool._

Tsukishima shoved his phone in his pocket and went down to finally eat. He lazily went down the stairs, quite cautious because in every of his birthday, his friends never fail to do something weird. Last year, they bought battery-powered bug toys and put all of them on the stairs, making Tsukishima scream in an undignified way early in the morning. He ended up falling down the stairs and celebrated his 22nd birthday with a bruise on his leg. His friends were definitely crazy but Tsukishima couldn’t ask for someone else.

“Happy birthday, Kei!” Everyone shouted and Akaashi popped open the party popper. Terushima was holding a handmade banner with bold letters of HAPPY BIRTHDAY written on it. Hinata was holding a printed picture of Tsukishima’s derp face as well as another party popper while Asami was holding a cupcake with a candle on it.

“Thanks,” Tsukishima said sincerely before leaning and blowing the fire off of the candle. Everyone clapped their hands and hooted really loud. Asami was the first to give Tsukishima a kiss on his cheek then Akaashi and Hinata both placed a soft and quick kiss while Terushima leaned in but much to Tsukishima’s disgust, the smaller man licked his cheek instead. Tsukishima groaned loudly while wiping Terushima’s saliva using the back of his hand.

“I’m going to kill you, Yuuji,” Tsukishima warned before running after Terushima to wring his neck and choke him to death.

“Happy birthday! I love you!” Terushima said, cackling while they run around the living room. Akaashi and Hinata joined them too but instead of helping Tsukishima run after the suspect, they held Tsukishima and tickled him to death. The blonde tried his best to not kill them throughout their breakfast.

Just like any of Kei’s birthday, Asami, Akiteru, and he ate dinner at a five-star restaurant. They caught up on each other’s lives and it took Tsukishima buckets of self-control to not ask Akiteru about his girlfriend. When they were having their dessert, Asami started to cry, telling them how happy she is that they’re still able to have dinner in every of their birthday. Tsukishima hugged her tightly and kissed the top of her head. They asked for a waiter to take a picture of them to seal the memories. The blonde did smile genuinely at the camera, something that rarely happens.

When their dinner ended, Asami bid her goodbye, saying that she needs to go home because she still has tons of pending candle orders. She smugly crosses her hands at Kei while saying how her candle business is sailing smoothly. Tsukishima just rolls his eyes at him while Akiteru just laughs. Before leaving, she gave him a small box as a present that Tsukishima decided to open later in his room before the day ends.

Akiteru insisted on driving on their way back home since he decided to spend the night at his younger brother’s house. The house was quiet from the outside and it made Tsukishima scared. Quietness isn’t good when it is associated with his friends. Its either they have problems or they are planning something awful.

Tsukishima slowly opened the door and the dark living room welcomed him. He slowly walked in with Akiteru tailing behind him. The darkness was making him shiver so Tsukishima walked towards the switch but before it, the lights opened and the sound of party poppers being opened echoed in his ears.

“Happy birthday!” Voices chorused and it overwhelmed Tsukishima. All of his friends were there, greeting him in all smiles. Everything could’ve been perfect but Tsukishima just couldn’t understand why they were wearing onesies.

“Thank you,” He said, returning their smiles as much as he can. Yamaguchi grabbed him by his wrist and gave him his own onesie. It was definitely not Tsukishima’s style but everyone forced him to. Terushima, Akaashi, and Oikawa teaming up against him were truly terrifying. Even if it's against his will, Tsukishima walked out of his room wearing a dinosaur onesie. Everyone cheered while laughing at Tsukishima but the blonde just fends their peals of laughter with a sharp glare and a roll of his eyes.

“This is too much,” Tsukishima grimaced when Akiteru placed a huge crown on his head with a sparkly 23 on it. Makki just pushed the crown more onto his head and secured it with some bobby pins with Matssun helping him. He muttered a small thanks to them after that and finally took a good look at the house. The couch was nowhere to be found and there were luminous balloons on the ceiling, a happy birthday banner was placed on a wall. A couple of gold and black foil curtains were also used as a decoration. The table is full of food too and this made Tsukishima smile to himself. His friends gave too much effort on this one. Starting from the decorations, the massive amount of foods, and are those two dozen bottles of alcohol?

“Rawr,” Kuroo whispered, standing beside Tsukishima. The blonde looked at him weirdly. Kuroo was wearing a cat designed onesie and for a second, Tsukishima actually thought that the one talking to him is a cat, not a person.

“What?”

“It’s happy birthday in dinosaur language,” Kuroo said with a straight face and it was enough for Tsukishima to lose his composure and laugh. He was holding his stomach, back bending forward a bit because of laughing too much.

“You’re a dork, Kuroo,” Tsukishima said in between laughs. Kuroo was about to say something when Hinata excused him and grabbed him towards the middle of the living room. Tsukishima was not sure about what's happening until Yachi turned the lights off once again and opened the portable neon lights. The blonde’s eyes widened, even more, when he saw a disco ball placed on the ceiling. Yamaguchi started to play the music and everyone cheered.

Their living room is undoubtedly spacious but it felt skimpy with all of his friends dancing on it. Yachi and Yamaguchi were bobbing their heads along and subtly swaying. Akaashi and Bokuto were openly grinding on each other just like Makki and Matssun. Beside them was Oikawa who was doing his best to make Iwaizumi dance too. Hinata and Terushima were energetically jumping and laughing along with the upbeat music, their energy almost enough to make a rocket fly. On the other side, Kageyama and Akiteru were on the corner, just casually talking and not really feeling the want to dance and join the crowd.

Tsukishima danced with Terushima and Hinata for a few minutes but still ended up with Kuroo when the older man grabbed him by his waist, snatching him from his friends. Kuroo settled his hands on Tsukishima’s waist while the blonde has his hands running through Kuroo’s hair. Kuroo playfully pulled the hood onto Tsukishima’s face making the blonde roll his eyes for the umpteenth time for the day. He was playing with the cat ears on Kuroo’s onesie when Akaashi told everyone that they’re finally opening the alcohol.

Tsukishima awed at the amount of alcohol in front of him. There were different varieties and this made Tsukishima lick his lips. He did the honor of opening the first bottle of champagne. Tsukishima smiled against the rim of the glass upon tasting the champagne. Stunned in a pretty good way, Tsukishima raised his glass and yelled,

“Happy birthday to me!” There was a roar of deafening hoots from all of his friends and Tsukishima was once again overwhelmed. They started to open the other bottles and tried making their own drinks. Tsukishima was more than happy when he finally realized that his friends literally turned the house into a bar. The disco ball and the counter full of alcohol was undoubtedly giving off Indigo's vibes.

The night continued with Bokuto and Kuroo acting as the mixologists. They were terrible and slow and they still needed to look on the internet to know what kinds of mix would taste good. Bokuto’s first attempt to make a jager bomb was a mess but Akaashi still drank it. Everyone had the chance to make their own drink and the freedom definitely sent joy to all. Tsukishima couldn’t help but wonder how much money his friends spent for this night. The alcohol was one thing and the bunch of gifts on the side were another. There was a hint of guilt on his eyes as he watches his friends drink and converse. He didn’t felt worthy of everything that they’re doing. His guilt got even more intense when a two-tier cake with a fountain candle.

Tsukishima couldn’t hold back the tears after everyone sang him the overly played happy birthday song. He removed his glasses to wipe his tears with his sleeves. His vision was blurry but Tsukishima didn’t felt afraid because he knew that the people in front of him are his friends, the people who would help him not to stumble on something because he can’t see clearly. Akaashi back hugged him tightly, leaning his chin on the blonde’s shoulder while tiptoeing.

“Stop crying, baby dino, we’re still getting drunk,” Tsukishima chuckled at this and nodded. The mood quickly shifted from soft and heartwarming when they watched Tsukishima cry into crazy energetic party one. Oikawa did the unnecessary hosting throughout the games that they readied. Yachi almost died when she drank a shot of vodka without a chaser, it was a good thing that Yamaguchi was there for her. It was ironic, people in their onesies but are drinking alcohol like professionals. The fact that some of his friends were even grinding on each other in an onesie was horrifying.

They played numerous games that involved alcohol, all of it. Their truth or dare that was later turned into dare or dare was more than a mess when Terushima pushed that the person who will get pointed by the bottle should drink three shots of tequila. It was definitely too much but Tsukishima just laughed it off and let him after figuring that his friends are really trying to get everyone drunk as hell. Iwaizumi was dared to dance and not wanting to be the killjoy of the group, he tried to dance, resulting in Oikawa fishing out his phone to take a video. Makki danced confidently, his steps obscene that made everyone whistle and cheer. Hinata was dared to drink a can of ice-cold beer in a minute that almost froze the redhead’s throat. Yamaguchi and Kageyama ended up with a plate of whipped cream on his face while Bokuto, who was already tipsy, agreed to dance salsa with Akaashi. He tripped four times, it was a mess. Akiteru, Terushima, and Matssun reenacted a scene from Wonder Pets that made everyone wheezing.

Kuroo had it the worst since the bottle seemed to love him more than anyone else. Twelve shots of tequila along with all of his drinks earlier made Kuroo laughing and hiccuping, saying nonsense blabbers throughout the latter part of the night. His limbs were draped all over Bokuto who was hugging Akaashi. Unable to stomach Kuroo listing down all of the elements in the periodic table, Tsukishima excused both of them and with too much effort, he wrapped his arm around Kuroo’s waist to help him walk.

“Fuck, you’re so heavy, Kuroo,” Tsukishima grunted as they climb the stairs.

“Did you know that blood comes in various colors?” Hiccup. “Other animals have blue, green, and oh! purple! Do you have purple blood, Tsukki?”

“Of course no—“

“No, you don’t! Unless you’re a sea squirt. Are you a sea squirt, Kei?” Tsukishima face palmed himself. A drunk Kuroo is definitely not good for conversations.

“Do I look like a sea squirt to you?” Tsukishima asked, not offended but rather quite amused with the drunk version of Kuroo. He pushed Kuroo onto his bed and wiped the beads of sweat on his forehead.

“Hmmm..” Kuroo studied his face, a little too close but Tsukishima didn’t mind. “No, you look like a dinosaur,” Kuroo giggled making Tsukishima flick his forehead. He stood up and was about to go out of his room and let Kuroo sleep when the older man started whining then crying then making Tsukishima surprised with how quickly his emotions changed.

“Don’t leave,” Kuroo croaked out. With mixed feelings, Tsukishima obeyed and just sat beside Kuroo who was lying down, softly crying. Tsukishima’s heart was hammering through his chest. It was his first time seeing Kuroo crying and it doesn’t feel right. Crying is normal for human beings but Tsukishima never associated crying with Kuroo. He’s just so bright and always smiling and Tsukishima didn’t think that he was capable of making his chest hurt because he was crying. He just sat there, quiet, the quiet sobs of Kuroo and the faint voices downstairs the only thing that can be heard in the room.

“I was supposed to be a chef, you know?” Kuroo said out of the blue. Tsukishima didn’t know what to answer so he opted to not answer and just let Kuroo continue. “My mom got really sick. We needed the money so I stopped going to school. It was worth it though, she’s now happily living but sometimes, god, I just couldn’t help but think what if reached my dream. I— I was supposed to be in the magazines that Terushima always looks at. I—“

“But are you not happy with what you have right now?” Kuroo stopped. His tears stopped from flowing down his cheeks like a faucet that was turned off. Kuroo stared at Tsukishima’s gold orbs, his stare piercing through the lenses of the blonde’s eyeglasses. Tsukishima didn’t know what happened but suddenly, their faces were close and Kuroo was leaning more to close the gap between them. It was a chaste kiss, their lips just colliding with each other. Lazy kisses at the midnight and it was sending Tsukishima to oblivion.

“I am happy,” Kuroo said when they parted. Tsukishima nodded before resting his forehead against Kuroo’s. They stayed like that for a few minutes, just letting the music from beneath them engulf their senses. The alcohol was starting to invade Tsukishima’s nerves too and he was starting to get tired but the party just felt like its just getting started and he was quite sad for Kuroo for not seeing what will happen for the rest of the night.

“Hey, Kei?”

“Yeah?”

“Can you say rawr?” This made Tsukishima sat up straight, glaring at Kuroo who now has a grin on his face.

“No,” He said then stood up. Kuroo chuckled then snickered at him before snuggling one of Tsukishima’s pillows. He wrapped himself with the comforter and Tsukishima felt peaceful watching Kuroo getting ready to sleep.

“Goodnight, Kei,” Kuroo mumbled, beaming even though he’s wasted.

“Goodnight,” Tsukishima said then opened the door and went out but stopped midway. His grip on the doorknob getting tight as he opens his mouth. “Hey, Tetsu?” Kuroo hummed in response, looked at him with his eyes half-lidded. “Rawr,”


	12. Chapter 12

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Writing this chapter made me feel rollercoaster feelings! Anyways, happy reading, everyone! ( 〃▽〃)

Tsukishima traced the protruding patterns on the couch with his fingers as he patiently waits for Kuroo to reheat their dinner that they bought before crashing into Kuroo’s apartment. His eyes were already fluttering close, body begging to sleep and rest. Tsukishima’s day started earlier than usual because of Kuroo asking him to accompany him even though it was more of a kidnapping than asking to go with him to the flower market. It has been a while since he went there and knowing that being surrounded by flowers makes him elated, no complaints were made.

This certain day in Oikawa’s flower shop was busier than any other day that Tsukishima witnessed. The pending custom orders of bouquets were a lot and apparently, they still need to arrange the flowers needed for two weddings that will happen tomorrow. The upsurge shouldn’t have happened if they opened yesterday but everyone including the owner himself was wasted. Iwaizumi was the only person sane enough to actually handle the flower shop yesterday but he also had his work, and so, there was no other choice but to not open the shop.

Tsukishima doesn’t know what to feel as observe how chaotic the shop was earlier. Should he feel guilty because this was an aftermath of his birthday party or should he laugh because everyone looked like worms that were poured with salt because they were frantically moving back and forth? Kuroo getting jumpy because of tense was kind of entertaining too. When Oikawa declared that lunch is not happening until they finished at least all the custom ordered bouquets, Makki threw his shoe at him and Matssun started to curse him. Tsukishima was taken aback, but Kuroo told him that it's just the result of their long friendship where sometimes the boundary between employer and employee was being ignored. Oikawa didn’t seem to mind this, instead, he just asked for Kuroo’s help, running, and hiding behind him for his dear life. It appears that Kuroo and Oikawa have known each other since college but Kuroo has only known Makki and Matssun when he started working in the flower shop.

The sudden declaration of no lunch leads to Tsukishima buying takoyaki for everyone and feeding them from time to time. He handled all the walk-in customers and Oikawa didn’t stop thanking him, telling him that he’s an angel sent by the heavens. Tsukishima just rolled his eyes at the flashy man who looked constipated and continued feeding Kuroo when there are no customers needed to be entertained.

“I fucking hate weddings,” Oikawa said, stomping his foot while stabbing the floral foam with a bright-colored flower. This made everyone laugh as Oikawa started to question his decisions in his life dramatically.

Meanwhile, Kuroo wasn’t really sure if he should be thankful for the blonde because he’s feeding him even though he literally shoves the whole takoyaki in Kuroo’s mouth. Tsukishima just chuckles whenever Kuroo was on the verge of choking as he arranges the flowers. It was the first time that Tsukishima saw Kuroo almost losing his mind, his stress threshold on the brink of giving out because of the amount of his work. Albeit of the annoying chuckles that Tsukishima gives to Kuroo, his awe to him was lingering on the back of his head. Being a florist is definitely not easy as it seems and Tsukishima wanted to praise Kuroo for that but he kept his mouth shut to prevent Kuroo’s head from getting big because of a single compliment.

“Here,” Kuroo said after settling the plates on the coffee table. Tsukishima looked up at him, eyes asking earnestly for sleep, then hand out his hands. Kuroo quickly held the blonde’s hands and pulled him up despite being tired himself. They quietly ate, not really watching the platitude drama playing on the television. Their focus was solely on the food, the only proper meal that they consumed for the day. They bought it from the nearest convenience store before Tsukishima thought of why they were going to Kuroo’s apartment. Tired and almost soulless, Tsukishima just coincided with him since its nearer than his own home.

When they finished eating, Tsukishima volunteered to wash the dishes. He somehow liked doing the dishes and this was something that he’s good at since he has been doing this since he was twelve. Kuroo thanked him and proceeded to go and have a quick shower. The time flew fast and slow at the same time, making Tsukishima almost sleeping while rinsing the plates clean. As soon as he finished, Kuroo already readied the spare clothes for him to sleep in even if Tsukishima never said that he’ll be spending the night but maybe Kuroo just felt it because he was literally on the edge of falling asleep while standing.

He opted to shower with cold icy water to somehow keep himself awake throughout the whole process. Tsukishima couldn’t even understand why was he this tired. All he did was to address the walk-in customers and assisting them with what they need and— ah, he talked. A lot. Oh, and he tried smiling at them too while talking. Double kill. That's why. He stares at his reflection for a minute while brushing his teeth with a spare toothbrush that he has been keeping in his car just in case. Kuroo’s clothes were almost the same size as him and the cotton against his skin never felt so good.

“I’m beat as fuck,” Kuroo said while leaning his head on the couch while sitting on the floor. Of course, Tsukishima knew. He saw it and he himself is tired too even if what he did is not even close to what Kuroo did the whole day.

“And you’re drinking coffee instead of sleeping,” Tsukishima deadpanned before plopping on the couch and crossing his legs comfortably. Kuroo didn’t respond, droopy eyes fixated on the television, making the blonde huff for being neglected. Quite irritated, Tsukishima snatched the mug from Kuroo, the cup felt so warm in between of his palms. He took a sip and almost moaned at the warm sensation in his throat and stomach. Tsukishima was sure that this isn’t him. This is someone who gets annoyed because of not getting a reply, a needy one. This is not Tsukishima.

After they finished their shared cup of coffee, they lazily went into Kuroo’s room, finally being able to lie on the soft bed. Kuroo’s bed was small, hardly giving them the space that they leisurely acquire in Tsukishima’s bed. It seemed like both men didn’t mind this as they squish their lengthy limbs into the mattress. Their backs pressed against each other’s, both silent and calm after muttering goodnight. A dense hush fell as Tsukishima’s chest peacefully heave.

Spending the night in Kuroo’s apartment was foreign to him. He’s been in this property only for less than five times. Kuroo has always been the one who goes to him but now that Tsukishima was lying on his bed, Kuroo’s scent engulfing his senses, being the one exerting effort somewhat feels great. Tsukishima squirmed a bit, careful not to wake the other man who was already sleeping soundly. The idea of being able to sleep seemed so far-fetched. Tsukishima wasn’t used to sleeping in other people’s houses. He doesn’t do sleepovers and it’s not like he has a lot of friends to do that with. Sure, the bed felt comfortable enough with Kuroo’s body heat, but his body wasn’t familiar with the room.

“Ugh. Fucking..” Tsukishima groaned then lied on his stomach before burying his face on the pillow. The pillowcase smelled like citrus along with the faint whiff of flowers coming from Kuroo. Tsukishima almost smiled at this. Kuroo has been around with flowers for hours every day that he ended up smelling like flowers too.

_He smells adorable._

Tsukishima faced to the right, Kuroo’s strong back welcoming him. He had the urge to let his fingers graze on his shoulder blades just to feel the muscles on his skin, to feel his slow and almost rhythmic breathing. His shirt was almost similar to Kuroo’s, both with a fading print of a cat on the bottom. The sudden gush of the wind invaded the room through the opened window that made Tsukishima shiver. His mind kept telling to close the window to prevent his future potential shivering but his body moved on its own, snuggling closer to the body beside him, enjoying the stolen warmth.

“Hey, Tsukki, can’t sleep?” Kuroo mumbled out of the blue, stopping Tsukishima’s ability to breathe for a second, highly surprised with the sudden disturbance of silence. Kuroo moved and faced the flustered blonde-haired man. Tsukishima could not really see Kuroo’s face clearly without his glasses even though their faces were just a few inches apart. He suddenly wanted to blame someone or something for his bad eyesight. Unnecessary but Tsukishima doesn’t care.

“Yeah,” He heard him chuckle and he instantly smelled Kuroo’s minty breath.

“Just close your eyes or else I’ll shove a whole takoyaki in your mouth too,” Tsukishima rolled his eyes at him and muttered a ‘fuck you’, even his voice clearly lacking energy. Kuroo pulled the blankets up to Tsukishima’s chest and patted his shoulder before cupping his cheek, his thumb softly brushing against his skin. Tsukishima could almost feel his fingerprint through the touch. Slowly, his eyes fluttered close despite his effort to stay awake. He couldn’t even see Kuroo clearly but there's something about just _seeing_ him.

“Sleep well, Kei,” Tsukishima heard himself hum in response but the succeeding happenings were fogged and vague in his mind already, the warmth coming from Kuroo’s thumb the last thing on his mind before finally drifting to sleep.

The next day, Tsukishima woke up from his sleep with the natural light invading the room. Kuroo wasn’t beside him anymore, it was not surprising knowing that the man is literally an early bird. The space on the bed felt more comfortable, it was the sufficient room that his body craves but for some reason, the space felt _too much_.

His movements were slow as he walks out of the room to go to the bathroom. His eyes quickly saw Kuroo who was dozing off on the table while holding his cup of coffee. Bokuto and Akaashi were there too, and Bokuto was talking about his and Akaashi’s date yesterday along with his hands doing exaggerated gestures. Tsukishima tried to walk as quietly as he can, careful not to let his presence be sensed because his mind was still not ready for Bokuto’s boisterousness. It was impossible, really, but Tsukishima still tried, and he failed.

“Tsukki!” Bokuto yelled, making Kuroo’s eyes flew open because of the noise. Tsukishima nodded at him, acknowledging his friend’s boyfriend. “So you slept in Kuroo’s room!” The bicolored haired man said while wiggling his eyebrows, clearly implying something.

“Hi, baby,” Akaashi said with a grin that made Tsukishima roll his eyes at his friend.

“Bo,” Kuroo said with the hint of threat in his voice but Bokuto just waved his hand on him and continued to wiggle his eyebrows while smirking deviously.

“You guys are really quiet though, I didn’t hear any noise—“

“Oh my god, bro, just eat,” Kuroo threw a slice of wheat bread on Bokuto that the latter caught with ease. Bokuto started to ramble about being adults and that he’s really curious how did they manage to be that quiet. Kuroo went to him with and shoved two slices of bread into his mouth to shut him up. Bokuto choked and was on the verge of death as he tries to eat the bread rather than spitting it out, reasoning that they should not waste food. Tsukishima used this as a chance to sneak into the bathroom to brush his teeth and wash his face.

“You’re wearing his clothes,” Akaashi pointed out. Tsukishima almost shouted in shock when Akaashi abruptly opened the bathroom door. “What? You didn’t lock the door, not my fault,” Akaashi said then invited himself in, locking the door behind him. Tsukishima moved a bit but the bathroom was small and it even if the two of them are already thinner than the ones living in the apartment, it still felt congested.

“Keiji, what the actual fuck, why are you here?” Tsukishima hissed before ducking his head close to the sink to wash his face.

“Well, Kazue visited and she told me that she’ll handle the cafe for today to let me rest,” Tsukishima furrowed his eyebrows at him. He didn’t mean why was he’s here in the apartment, he wanted to know why was he’s inside the bathroom too but upon hearing Akaashi’s older sister’s name, he stopped himself from strangling his friend.

“So she knows about Bokuto?” Tsukishima asked while patting his face lightly with a clean cloth. Akaashi grinned at him while shaking his head that made Tsukishima’s eyebrow arched. Kazue doesn’t really visit Akaashi, Tsukishima has only seen her twice. Curiosity started to build in him. “Then why is she here?”

“I kind of slipped the word ex when she called me,” Tsukishima could only sigh at Akaashi. If his friends were protective of Akaashi with what happened, Kazue’s overprotectiveness is tripled. Tsukishima knew that Akaashi was still not ready to introduce Bokuto to his family after what happened even though that scenario was already old. It still felt fresh to Tsukishima and he could only imagine how hard it was for Akaashi even now.

The blonde wrapped his arms around Keiji’s shoulder and hugged him. “God, you’re such a baby,” Tsukishima only hummed when Akaashi hugged him back. “Now, let’s talk about you and Kur—“

“Akaashi! What are you two doing in there?” Bokuto was frantically knocking at the door, disturbing Tsukishima’s rare showing of affection to his friend. He heard Akaashi huff but he just hugged Tsukishima’s waist tighter.

“I’m blowing my baby Dino!” Akaashi shouted back and the knocks became faster. The two men inside the bathroom giggled at Bokuto who was shouting really loud. They could hear Kuroo calming Bokuto down but he was no help. Tsukishima gave Akaashi a final squeeze before letting him go. He was originally planning to go out to stop Bokuto from shouting but when his and Akaashi’s eyes met each other, Tsukishima’s plan was swayed.

“ _Faster_ , Keiji!” Tsukishima fake moaned and only a sliver of their self-control was left as they suppress themselves from laughing. The knocks doubled and it became faster and with more force that Tsukishima actually felt sorry to the door. He thought that the play was already over but Akaashi seemed to be enjoying it more than anyone.

“Fuck my face harder, baby!” Akaashi shouted once again and it was the final string of them losing their composure. They started laughing and after a few seconds, Akaashi opened the bathroom door. Bokuto and Kuroo almost fell forward, their knuckles already red because of their endless knocking. They went out of the bathroom and Tsukishima plopped himself at the couch, stomach aching from too much happiness.

“Did you really blow him, Akaash?” Bokuto asked worriedly and Tsukishima could almost see his spiked up hair deflating. Akaashi wrapped his arms around his boyfriend’s neck and kissed his nose.

“Tsukki’s not my boyfriend, you know. I only blow my boyfriend,” Akaashi purred against Bokuto’s chest and it was a pain to watch them. “And I actually feel like blowing my boyfriend right now,” There was a pause of silence and then the next thing that Tsukishima knew was Bokuto dragging Akaashi to his room.

Tsukishima groaned when the faint sounds of the bed creaking invaded his ears. He cursed the couple’s horniness as well as the human’s involuntary hearing. It would’ve been great if there’s a switch where you could turn off your hearing. Tsukishima felt Kuroo’s presence when he sat down beside him. He looked at him with his lazy gaze and saw how scandalized Kuroo’s face was while looking at him.

“What?” Tsukishima asked, cocking his eyebrow at the older man.

“You...” Kuroo trailed off and this made Tsukishima’s lips curve upward slowly. “I hate you and Akaashi so _so much_ ,” Tsukishima laughed. Kuroo frowned at him, holding back a smile because he sounded so carefree and happy.

“Did you really,” Tsukishima pointed Kuroo, eyes almost watered in tears. “Thought that I’ll let Keiji blow me?” Kuroo just rolled his eyes at him before standing and grabbing his coffee on the table. Tsukishima, who was still high from laughing too much, stood up and opened the refrigerator to get an ice cube.

“There, there,” Tsukishima said then sat on the chair across a scowling Kuroo. He grabbed Kuroo’s hand and put the ice on his knuckles. It was still red from all his frenzied knocking earlier and the ice felt really really cold against his skin. When the ice melted completely, Tsukishima wiped the small puddle of water on the table then snatched Kuroo’s mug from him. Drinking and enjoying the stolen creamy coffee right in front of its rightful owner.

“That’s my coffee,” Kuroo said when Tsukishima doesn’t look like he’s going to give his mug back.

“I treated your knuckles, I deserve a reward,”

“You’re unbelievable, Kei,” Kuroo shook his head but Tsukishima saw the little smile on his lips. Right after Tsukishima drank all of Kuroo’s coffee, Akaashi and Bokuto went out of the room. They strutted in shamelessly without even fixing themselves evident because of Akaashi’s sex hair. Tsukishima made a face when Akaashi attempted to hug him out of nowhere, still feeling weird with the fact that he just finished blowing his boyfriend.

All throughout their breakfast, Tsukishima just wanted to find his headphones and wear it, play some really good music on its highest volume, because oh god, the three other men were loud as fuck. They were talking happily about everything and Tsukishima almost lost it when Bokuto did some animal imitations. He was on the verge of laughing and throwing a pan on their heads. Bokuto told them excitedly when Kuroo went into his class with his pants inside out. They even went to a mall to buy some school supplies but Kuroo only realized this when their roommates pointed it out and Kuroo almost killed Bokuto for not noticing it too. Tsukishima and Akaashi almost gagged when Kuroo and Bokuto started calling each other _bro_ and _dude_ affectionately while patting each other’s shoulder.

When they finally finished their chaotic breakfast, Tsukishima stripped Kuroo’s clothes that he has on him and wore the clothes that he have worn yesterday. He decided to just take a bath at his house, missing his bathtub already. Kuroo also got ready for work and without even talking about it, they went inside Tsukishima’s car like they’ve been doing this for months already. Tsukishima drove him to his work and said hi to his flower shop group of friends.

“Thank you, Kei,” Kuroo mouthed with a smile after closing the car’s door. Tsukishima just waved his hand at him then drove fast, excited to reunite with his bathtub and spacious bed.

“ _Yes_ ,” Tsukishima said when he dipped his foot in the hot water before settling his whole body in it. Bathtubs and hot water never failed to relax Tsukishima and remove all his problems for a while. He dozed off for a couple of minutes before deciding to climb off of the water. It was just like any of his normal days. Quiet with Terushima, Akaashi, and Hinata on their respective works. Sometimes it gets lonely but Tsukishima had his books and headphones. He could easily survive the boringness that his friends always complain about.

He sat on the couch with the second book of the series that he has been reading with a tub of ice cream on his other hand. He silently read and let the letters dance on his vision while scooping a dollop of ice cream and eating it like his teeth are not even lamenting because of the coldness.

Tsukishima was peacefully reading when he heard some footsteps coming from the second floor. His heart started to beat fast but he tried to be calm. Was it an intruder? A murderer? Tsukishima cursed under his breath. He wasn’t ready to die yet. He still wanted to apply for a job that he would enjoy rather than just for money. He still wanted to do a lot of things, he still wanted to go on a trip with all of his friends, make more candles with his mom, eat every kind of strawberry flavored dessert, be able to—

“Yuuji?” Terushima flinched upon hearing Tsukishima’s voice. Both of their faces were pale as they look at each other.

“Fuck, Tsukki, I thought that there’s a robber,” Terushima said while clutching his chest. They both sighed, relieved that there is no one besides the two of them.

“Why the heck are you here though? You’re skipping work again?” Tsukishima asked, studying Terushima’s face but the latter just smiled at him while scraping the paint on his fingertips. Tsukishima’s eyes widened in an instant.

_Paint?_

“I quit my job yesterday,” Terushima said with a faint smile. This robbed Tsukishima’s ability to speak. He just stared at him, closed his book abruptly then stared at him again. “I just thought that it’ll be better, you know? I hate that job so much,” Terushima plopped himself beside Tsukishima and leaned his head on the blonde’s shoulder.

“Fina-fucking-ly,” Tsukishima said that made Terushima giggle. Tsukishima knew how Terushima hated that job even though he’s just been working as an accountant for a year. Terushima has just been continuing that job because of his parents, to prove that he could have a decent job despite running away from home.

“We’re both jobless now, huh?” Terushima said with a cheery tone but Tsukishima just couldn’t feel his real emotions. Tsukishima didn’t answer, instead, he just wrapped his arm around Terushima and played with his hair. His roots were black and his blonde hair starts to fade its artificial color and this is something that the usual Terushima would never let happen. Tsukishima pulled him closer, guilty that he hasn’t noticed that his friend was stressed.

“Do you want some coffee—“

“Kei,” Terushima called out, voice strained and Tsukishima could almost feel how down he is. “I quit that job because I saw Akiteru and that girl again on my way. I thought that maybe, ah, its a sign, I should just quit my job so I won’t see them again. It’s kind of a blessing in disguise, don’t you think?”

“You two haven’t talked it out yet?” Tsukishima asked, retreating his hand from Terushima’s fading blonde locks. Terushima shook his head and the tears threatening to fall earlier finally fell. “God, Teru, come here please,” He hugged Terushima tightly and heard the sobs of his friend.

“Akiteru doesn’t really like me. I knew that already but why does— god, am I not likable, Kei?” His words were muffled and almost not audible because of his sobs but Terushima has been his friend for years now, he would understand him even if he’s not going to talk.

“You are likable, Terushima Yuuji. Stop thinking that. Akiteru is just an ass,” Sure, Tsukishima really thinks that his brother is an ass but his heart wasn’t at ease when he said that. There are always two sides to a story. He doesn’t know Akiteru’s and Terushima doesn’t seem to know it too.

“He really is... but don’t say that,” Tsukishima almost scoffed at him. Terushima is literally having a breakdown once again because of Akiteru but he still couldn’t afford to badmouth him. Tsukishima rolled his eyes and just sat there, enveloping Terushima like a safety blanket as the older man cries.

Minutes passed and when Terushima finally removed his grasp from Tsukishima’s shirt that is now damp with tears, he already had a smile on his face. A fake smile, Tsukishima concludes. He hated how Terushima was so good at faking his expressions. He could be crumbling inside and he’d still be smiling like he’s the happiest person in the whole Japan. He hated it so much but sometimes Tsukishima just wants to ask him to teach him that too because faking a smile is sometimes easier than showing what you really feel.

“So, what were you saying earlier?”

“That Akiteru is an ass?” Terushima frowned at him and he looked like was really to rip off Tsukishima’s hair all at once. The blonde chuckled and planted a kiss on Terushima’s hair. “Do you want some coffee? Let’s swing by Akaashi’s cafe. Kazue-san is there,”

“Kazue-san? Really?” Tsukishima nodded and in a few moments, Terushima was already in his khaki shorts and a knitted sweater. Tsukishima almost let out an exasperated groan when he saw that their outfit is almost similar. They were both wearing a similar shade of brown knitted sweater and their quarter socks are identical, which was given by Yamaguchi for Christmas.

“We look like a couple!” Terushima cheered then linked his arm around Tsukishima’s happily. The taller man fake gagged at this, earning him a jag of the elbow on his ribs. If only his friend wasn’t heartbroken at the moment, Tsukishima was sure that he already choked him. “Come on, come on, the two of us haven’t had coffee for years!”

They opted to not use Tsukishima’s car, provided that parking would be hard especially that it's almost lunch. They took the train and heck, it was hot but Terushima was using his hands as a substitute for a fan. He was also pushing Tsukishima to do the same since his hands were a lot bigger than his but the thought of flapping his hands in front of their faces in public didn’t sit well to him. People were already looking because of their almost identical clothes and the socks, god, the socks really made them look like a couple.

The strong smell of coffee greeted them. Tsukishima smiled upon stepping into the cafe. He has always been in love with the coziness that it brings. There were plants everywhere and it was well lighted, both with designer chandeliers and the sunlight. It's the best cafe and no one could ever change his mind.

“Kazue-san!” Terushima said as soon as he saw Akaashi’s sister on the counter. She instantly waved at them and Terushima dragged Tsukishima quickly to the counter. She hugged them tight and briefly asked about their lives, leaving the counter job to a staff who had a scowl on his face.

They were chatting happily, the conversation mostly revolving around Terushima and Kazue. Tsukishima was just quiet, eyes just looking past the people who are entering the cafe. It mostly consisted of office people who are desperate to buy some coffee instead of eating a proper lunch. The cafe was slowly getting packed and this made Kazue suddenly serious as she asks both of the men to look after Keiji on behalf of her. The two agreed in a heartbeat, not really needing to hear Kazue’s words to look after their friend. She excused herself and took their order before coming back to the counter.

“Oh my fucking shit,” Terushima said and quickly ducked his head before pushing Tsukishima’s head down too. Tsukishima cursed him but still followed where Terushima was looking. His eyes landed at an orange-haired boy with his boyfriend beside him, both were in their office clothes. Tsukishima’s heart started to thump. Its been a month ever since he saw them together, like beside each other. The two didn’t seem to notice them and sat at the table quite far from them, making Tsukishima finally breathe properly.

“I missed seeing them together,” Tsukishima admitted after Terushima gets their drink and slice of cake. The older man nodded in agreement while drinking his caramel macchiato.

“I do too. I just hope that they’ll finally fix their relationship even though I’ll definitely miss Hinata in our house,” Tsukishima only hummed but he was very much thinking of the same thing.

They shared with the cake while talking about random things. Starting from Terushima’s literal mountain of laundry the other day that took six loads in the washing machine up to the happenings in the new book that Tsukishima was reading. It was a light conversation and Tsukishima remembered that this is one of the things that he liked about Terushima. Even though sometimes he wants to punch him because of his nonstop blabbering, every conversation with him always brings joy to Tsukishima. It's always bubbly and for a moment, Tsukishima forgot that he had problems.

“Tsukki,” Terushima called right after he drank all of his drink. He looked up to him while chewing his share of strawberry cake. “There’s this guy, we’ve been kind of hanging out since last last week,” Tsukishima almost choked. Terushima wasn’t the type of person who sleeps with the same person again and again. Just like him, it's a one-time thing.

“Who?”

“The nephew of the owner of Indigo. His name is Konoha,” Tsukishima wanted to ask more but he refrained himself. If his memory is right, they first slept before their graduation, and its been months already. “We accidentally met again last month and I don’t know. He said that he wanted to be my friend and so we went out whenever I had the time,”

Ah. That explains Terushima’s absence in the house even if it's his day off. Tsukishima gestured him to continue, and so, Terushima did.

“He confessed the other day. I— fuck, what should I do? He’s such a good guy and I don’t know. I was planning on turning him down yesterday but I saw Akiteru and that girl again and I feel like maybe— what should I do?” Terushima looked helpless and Tsukishima felt like he does too. What should he say? He doesn’t know. Tsukishima was never the friend that you’ll go to when you have problems with your love life. Tsukishima didn’t know love romantically.

He opened his mouth then closed it, opened it again but closed it once more. He doesn’t have any idea what to say to Terushima. Anxiety started to creep in his skin, making the little hair on his arms stand. He looked at Terushima, his eyes were lost and seeking for answers. He turned his head and saw Hinata and Kageyama, Hinata was crying and Kageyama looked like he was too. Tsukishima bit his lower lip.

Terushima, who is always smiling no matter what happens looked defenseless and weak. Hinata and Kageyama who have been together for years are now in front of each other but they were crying. Tsukishima knew how strong their bond is but here they are, downcast and confused and sad. His friends were slowly getting wrecked because of love. It was _scary_.

Kuroo’s face flashes on his mind and it sent shivers down his spine. Why was Kuroo’s smile illuminating in his vision? Tsukishima clenches his fist and tried to block out the thoughts of Kuroo. Thinking about Kuroo and love at the same time was _frightening_.

“I’m sorry, forget that,” Terushima said with a smile. Tsukishima looked at him but he wasn’t able to at least smile back. His palms were sweating and his lips were almost quivering as he still tries to remove the sight of his bed hair freak _friend_.

“Should we go now? I feel like I want to spend some money,” Tsukishima just nodded and the two of them said goodbye to Kazue who hugged them again. They decided not to bother Hinata and Kageyama who was still talking and just went straight to the mall.

Terushima did spend some money. He bought new earrings and even added a new piercing on his tragus. He let Tsukishima chose the earring and the blonde absentmindedly chose a random one. They ate ice cream then Korean food then some Chinese desserts. Kei could almost feel his stomach bursting because of too much food. They ate a lot, too much for Tsukishima but it seemed like Terushima still didn’t have enough because suddenly, there were going inside a convenience store and he was picking up bags of chips from the aisle.

“Aren’t you full yet?” Tsukishima asked while eyeing everything that Terushima was putting in the basket.

“Kind of, but we can’t go to Dashi’s place without having something,” Terushima showed him a can of beer and winked. The cashier looked overwhelmed, just like Tsukishima when he saw the amount of beer that Terushima was buying. It was certainly a lot for a normal night but Tsukishima couldn’t stop him.

They rode the train towards Yamaguchi’s apartment after texting Akaashi that they might be home late or maybe they won’t be coming home because of the massive amount of beer inside of the plastic bags that they were holding. People were looking at them but Terushima was just smiling at them sweetly.

“Hi, baby Yamaguchi!” Terushima greeted a flustered Yamaguchi and hugged him. Yamaguchi’s eyes were widened when he saw the beer that Terushima was settling on the coffee table.

“He quit his job and saw my brother and that girl again and then there’s this man that just confessed to him and yeah, he’s stressed as fuck. Couldn’t stop him,” Tsukishima whispered to his freckled friend.

“This is going to be a mess,” Yamaguchi said, worry evident in his voice. Both for Terushima and his newly cleaned apartment.

Terushima pushed the two to drink too while opening a bag of chips that was too salty for Tsukishima’s liking. The beer felt good on his throat. Terushima started to talk and Yamaguchi was worried that his neighbors will sue him because of how loud Terushima’s voice was. The first hour was alright. Their conversation was more of a catching up since they only see Yamaguchi once or twice a week. Tsukishima engaged in the conversation but there’s just nothing to share with his life as of now.

As time passes by and they started to get drunk, their voices got louder, even Yamaguchi. Terushima was suddenly wailing and his mouth was pouring out questions that were supposed to be asked to Akiteru and not to Tsukishima and Yamaguchi.

Tsukishima’s mind started to swirl thanks to the beer. He was adamantly listening to Terushima’s cries as Yamaguchi console him. Terushima looked wrecked because of the fucking L word. Tsukishima never wanted to be like that. He never wanted to cry and look helpless just because of a single person. Tsukishima saw how happy Terushima every time he sees Akiteru but now that he looks at his miserable friend, he wonders, was it even worth the pain?

Maybe it was already midnight when his phone rang. It was on the other side of the living room and Tsukishima doesn’t have any idea how did his phone get there. He crawled past Terushima and Yamaguchi who were now sprawled out on the floor, both knocked out and drunk. His vision slurs at the screen but he could still read the caller’s ID.

_**Kuroo Tetsurou** _

He wanted to answer the call but panic got the best of him. He threw his phone onto the carpet and opened another can of beer. Tsukishima’s heart ached.


	13. Chapter 13

Kuroo could feel his back slowly breaking into pieces, an unwanted result from slouching for a very long time to reach the awfully short working counter. His knees felt like giving up too but he still has a bouquet to work on. Sitting while working could’ve been great but Kuroo felt like he would just mess up the bouquets if he’s sitting. Beside him was Matsukawa who was silently working too, his hands working really fast that it made Kuroo quite envious while Hanamaki was talking to a walk-in customer who was asking what's the best flower to give to someone who’s admitted in a hospital.

When Kuroo finally wrapped the bouquet in a pastel pink kraft paper and secured it with a silk ribbon, he almost let out a celebratory scream. He’s finally done and done means he could sit for a while, just until he needs to do something again. Kuroo went into the small comfort room and washed his hands to clean his newly acquired splinters. There was also a crack on his nail but Kuroo couldn’t bring himself to grimace at this. The people who would receive the bouquets that he did would be happy and that’s enough, the splinters are worth it.

“Oikawa just texted me, he said that he’ll bring us lunch and that we’re gonna have a meeting,” Hanamaki said before slapping Matssun’s ass jokingly. Kuroo shook his head at them and wiped his hands with a clean towel. He sat at a stool and whipped out his phone.

_**2 new messages** _

Kuroo could almost hear his heart pumping wildly as he unlocked his phone and press the messaging app. He was overflowing with hope but it was all shattered when he saw the sender’s name. It was just Bokuto. With a frown, Kuroo shoved his phone inside his pocket after letting an exasperated sigh.

It was already mid-October, the peak of fall in Tokyo. The leaves completely changed its color and Kuroo was dying to tell Tsukishima what's the reason why does leaves change its color in autumn. He wanted to tell him that the chlorophyll breaks down when the days get shorter and the weather is cooler. He wanted to tell him that this was the part where the carotene along with the anthocyanin enters and magically but chemically changes the color of the leaves as the both of them sat beside each other on Tsukishima’s couch or maybe in his place if he was able to persuade the blonde that they could fit in their couch. Maybe he could tell him this when he’s baking and Tsukishima just sits in front of him while listening, or maybe when they’re soaked in the bathtub with the almost scorching water that Kuroo hates but Tsukishima loves.

Kuroo ruffled his hair in annoyance. He wanted to know why was Tsukishima avoiding him again. Last time was a little more tolerable, he was reading and reacting to his messages, and even though it's just a mere and cold like, it was enough for Kuroo. This time, there were no reacts, and Tsukishima doesn’t even read his messages. It was slowly, slowly killing Kuroo.

He wanted to say to himself that it's stupid when he thought that maybe Tsukishima got mad at him when he rolled his eyes at him the last time that they saw each other or maybe because he was continuously calling him a sweet zombie even though his body has gone back to normal. Did he do something wrong? Did he accidentally say something that didn’t sit well with Tsukishima?

Time never felt this long, it was painfully slow and none of this was on Kuroo’s plan for this season. His plan consisted of work, his bro time with Bokuto, and Kei, Kei, Kei. He wanted to enjoy the vividness of the surrounding with him and have a splendid time. He wanted to pick up a bunch of russet leaves and throw it straight to Tsukishima’s always void of emotion face, and his face would resemble the scarlet maple leaves because of anger. Tsukishima would start to curse him endlessly and will try to kick him when he can and they’ll bicker in the middle of the street but Kuroo would still smile _because_ it’s Tsukishima.

Kuroo shifted in his seat and massaged his temple using his fingers, hard and insistent, hoping that the pressure that he’s giving to himself would make his worry fly away. He almost gritted his teeth when his head just started to hurt, the complete opposite of what he wants. He stilled his fingers and let out a sigh that felt like it weighed a ton. All he wanted was a message from Tsukishima if the blonde is not ready to see him. Kuroo would understand. Kuroo would definitely understand whatever reason Tsukishima has.

_**To: Tsukki Kei** _

_**11:25 am** _

_Been wondering if I could go to your house?_

_I kind of miss baking.._

Kuroo was on the verge of sending a draft that he has written since last week. _I miss you_ , the message says. It felt ironic whenever Kuroo sees Tsukishima and the surrounding seemed brighter even if the blonde rarely smiles. Everything seemed better when Tsukishima abruptly came into the picture and left a blurred image that made Kuroo curious, building up the desire to see the clearer image of him. Tsukishima was aloof yet Kuroo’s goal is unwavering. He wanted to explore and study every side of him. He wanted to touch and feel his rough edges, his flaws, Kei’s everything.

He was already into deep and Kuroo knew that anytime now, he would hit the rock bottom. But Kuroo knew that he doesn’t care too. He just wanted to be intoxicated with Tsukishima but the blonde is fragile and Kuroo couldn’t just hop in and drop the bomb. Not when Tsukishima is starting to ignore him again for some unknown reason.

“Kuroo!” He snapped back to the reality where Oikawa was looking at him just like Hanamaki and Matsukawa. “Are you okay?” His boss asked and Kuroo nodded in an instant. He wiped the non-existent dirt on his fingers to his pants and stood up. Kuroo didn’t miss the frown on Oikawa’s face. He probably knew that there's something that Kuroo is not telling him. He’s not obligated to tell him but Oikawa has known him for years and Kuroo is easy to read, like an open book.

Oikawa just shrugged at him while pursing his lips before telling Hanamaki that he could already turn the sign on the glass door, indicating that its lunchtime for them. They huddled on the counter, waiting for Oikawa to speak before they had their lunch. Once Oikawa finally got a grasp of himself, he opened his eyes and Kuroo could see the definition of determination in his eyes. He wondered if he’s like that too whenever he bakes. He does love what he’s doing right now though, it's satisfying and every flower is beautiful but at times like this, Kuroo couldn’t help but overthink again. It would’ve been great if he was able to reach what he wants, but right now, both his dream work and Tsukishima seemed too far.

The short meeting was for the upcoming event that Oikawa received yesterday. They would be arranging centerpieces for a reunion of a class that is as old as their grandmas. Oikawa asked for ideas since the theme that they will be working on was weird. The whole reunion was summer-themed even though they’re in the middle of autumn. Oikawa already suggested a lot, but they were unshakeable. Hanamaki was the most excited as he energetically told everyone to use a lot of yellow-colored flowers such as Gerbera Daisies, Yellow Poppy, Daffodils, Sunflowers, and some Carnation. Matsukawa was tapping the table with a pen as he said his own ideas, flowers placed in a mason jar with silk ribbons, petite square vases with lemons on the inside for more summery feeling, or maybe tall curvy pilsner glasses.

Kuroo usually enjoys these types of meetings whenever they’re about to work on a new event. He loved that it brings out their creativeness and Oikawa always writes everything in his little notebook for future references. Usually, Kuroo would be the first to say his ideas, and Hanamaki would be flicking his head saying that he was supposed to be the first but right now, Kuroo wasn’t feeling it. Sure, summer-themed flower arrangements in the middle of autumn were odd and it would be exciting to work on, yet Kuroo’s mind was just swarmed in a pool full of Kei.

“How about you, Kuroo-chan?” Oikawa asked, voice unwavering and serious. Kuroo wanted to slap his cheeks to awaken himself. He needed to get his priorities right, he’s in work, and he needed his mind to think about work too. Everyone deals with this seriously and he could not just slack off. It’s unfair.

He sat straight and mentioned the complementary colors that would be great with the yellow ones. Blue statice, feverfew, and some Delphinium. A few ranunculus and marigold might be great too. Kuroo also listed the greeneries and flower fillers that he thought would go well with the theme. He asked for Matsukawa’s pen and tried to draw the arrangements that he had in mind with all of the flowers that were brought up earlier. Oikawa was just casually nodding as he tries to elaborate more but being the perfectionist he is, Oikawa asked for the notebook and rearranged it into something that was better.

When the meeting finally came to an end, Oikawa transformed into the Oikawa that he’s friends with from being the serious owner. He brought out the food that he promised and they all ate at the small table residing at the small staff room. It was rowdy and clamorous, thanks to Hanamaki and Oikawa’s non-stop exchange of insults to each other. Kuroo tried to enjoy the free food but everything tasted bland ever since Tsukishima stopped contacting him.

“Is the negiyaki not good?” Matsukawa asked and Kuroo quickly shook his head.

“It’s good, it’s good!” Kuroo said before stuffing his mouth with negiyaki and almost choking because he stuffed it too much.

“You are a mess, Kuroo-chan,” Oikawa gave him a glass of water that Kuroo gladly accepted. He had his elbows propped on the table, looking at Kuroo with a grin like he knows something.

“Where’s your boyfriend though? We haven’t seen him since, I don’t know, last week?” Hanamaki asked and Matsukawa, along with Oikawa nodded. Kuroo wanted to mop, really. The word boyfriend stinging his ear painfully

“He’s not my boyfriend,” Kuroo said, words bitter on his tongue. It was the first time that he admitted it out loud but certainly not the first time to think about it today.

“What?” Hanamaki almost screamed in shock, eyes widening at the not obvious fact. Kuroo just let out a forced chuckle before slurping his soba. Hanamaki started to get noisier, asking Matsukawa if he knows this too.

“They’re fuck buddies,”

To say that Kuroo was dazed and appalled with what Oikawa said was an understatement. Hanamaki had his mouth open like he just heard the biggest secret in the world. Oikawa was grinning at him as Kuroo wiped the sides of his mouth. He shot him a glare but the man was just pursing his lips and Kuroo felt the urge to punch Oikawa for the hundredth time in his life.

“Stop looking at me like that or I’ll deduct your pay,” Oikawa said while putting his hands up in the air. Matsukawa slapped his head that made their boss shout in pain. “You guys suck,”

“I’ll tell Iwaizumi that you’re abusing your employees,” Matsukawa said while subtly wiggling his thick eyebrows. Oikawa huffed as a response and kicked Matsukawa under the table. They started bickering and for a moment, Kuroo was relieved that the spotlight wasn’t on him. He continued eating, just picking on his food, which was unusual. His friends’ voices were slowly getting distant, just a buzzing sound that disturbs his already jammed thoughts.

“Are you guys not really dating?” Hanamaki asked, and his voice was now relaxed, just full of curiosity. Kuroo put his chopsticks down and took a deep breath first before looking at the pink-haired man.

“We really aren’t,” He saw how Hanamaki’s face turned sour, probably thinking if he’s really going to believe Kuroo. “We’re what Oikawa said,”

“See?” Oikawa crossed his arms on his chest and Kuroo wanted to wipe off the smug smirk on his face. Maybe it was because of Oikawa’s normally annoying face, or maybe because he guessed their relationship right, or maybe because he was really right, that they’re just that. Nothing more, nothing less. Kuroo groaned, now he really wanted to punch Oikawa.

“That's... I don’t know, I felt like you.. like him?” Kuroo’s eyes softened at Hanamaki’s words. He wanted to nod and smile at himself but at the same time, he felt shy, embarrassed that he was that obvious. He felt the sparks in his stomach with the thought of liking Tsukishima heavily and genuinely. It always amazes him with how the electricity pops off of skin whenever he thinks of Tsukishima.

“Well—“

“He hasn’t confessed yet and now he’s on the verge of dying,” Oikawa slipped into the conversation, cutting Kuroo’s words and Kuroo’s chest too. The words cut deep that Kuroo thought he would need ten stitches of love by Tsukishima. He wanted to curse himself for thinking cringe-worthy thoughts and maybe curse Oikawa too because of his good observing skills.

“I want to fucking shove your throat up to your ass, Tooru-chan,” His sweet voice was too faux that it made Matsukawa and Hanamaki shiver. Oikawa leaned to him and smirked even more but losing wasn’t in Kuroo’s vocabulary when it comes to Oikawa, and so, he leaned too, raising his eyebrows at him.

“Tsukishima-kun doesn’t like you,” Oikawa said, smiling at him and it was the fakest smile that Kuroo has ever seen the proceeding to stick his tongue out at him.

“Fuck you,” Kuroo spatted and lost entirely in their unknown type of competition. He waited to hear Oikawa’s obnoxious laugh but nothing came. His three friends were just looking at him, concerned, that it almost removed the thought of strangling Oikawa from his brain.

“Why don’t you just confess?” Hanamaki asked that froze Kuroo up. He knew the answer to this as well. He should, after asking the same question to himself every day. It wasn’t easy, nothing is easy when it comes to the thought of confessing to Tsukishima.

“I don’t know,” Tsukishima has issues that he has been bearing ever since he was a child and this is why Kuroo hinders himself from doing what he should’ve done a long time ago. He wanted to tell them, but he knew that it wasn’t his place to tell someone about Tsukishima.

“You like him, right?” Kuroo nodded, the acid in his stomach slowly bubbling up to his throat. “Don’t you want to give it a shot? Say that you want him instead of weeping like a high school student here,”

“I’m not weeping,”

“Yes, you are,” Kuroo quickly reached for his cheeks and true to Matsukawa’s words, it was wet with tears. He wiped it fast with the back of his hand. His emotions were overflowing again and Kuroo doesn’t want to show this to his workmates and especially to his boss who would not shut up about it for weeks.

“Just try, okay?” Oikawa said and Kuroo shifted in his seat. As much as he doesn’t want to admit it, he was scared. Scared that after Tsukishima dumps him, their friendship would be gone too and the blonde would completely erase him from his life. The thought of Tsukishima slowly taking humungous steps away from him was torturing. Not being able to touch or even see his Kei was something that Kuroo would never want.

“He’s going to dump me and our friendship will go to drain,” Kuroo pointed out with a heavy heart. There are probably a couple of men that would gladly want Kuroo, sleep with him, maybe like him back but all of these were nothing compared to the idea of Tsukishima sitting across him, eating the strawberry cake that he just made.

“If he’s going to dump you, then move on, you can’t do anything about it, and what? your friendship will go to drain? How would you know? You haven’t talked to Tsukishima about that,” Kuroo couldn’t comprehend it, doesn’t really want to and he felt like bawling. What Oikawa said made sense, it really does but nothing is coming into his swirling mind but Tsukishima cutting off their ties. His insides were twisting in an unfathomable way and Kuroo considered puking all the free food to ease what he’s feeling.

“You’re 24, Kuroo, at the peak of your life. Live it good, okay? Take goddamn risks,” Oikawa gave him a slap on his shoulder and the slight pain reverberated to his whole body and Kuroo wished that it could put some sense into his brain too.

Their lunch came and went, leaving Kuroo feeling boneless, mind in haywire. They continued the rest of the day as normal as they can. Kuroo felt thankful that his friends didn’t mention anything that happened earlier. Everything that was said to him was still lingering in his head, swimming lazily and excruciating the fuck out of him. Take goddamn risks? Kuroo wasn’t fond of that.

Kuroo was supposed to do the closing but Hanamaki and Matsukawa volunteered, probably pitying him and his fingers that are now covered with a few more tiny cuts. Kuroo thanked them and went out of the flower shop after receiving a hug from Oikawa to cheer him up. It definitely didn’t cheer him up but Kuroo still appreciated the gesture. He hopped on the bus and just stared at the window the whole time, desperately trying to calm himself.

When he arrived at their apartment, Bokuto was happily watching a wrestling match while cheering loudly. Popcorn was everywhere and Kuroo made a mental note to not help Bokuto to clean the mess that he did even if he’s going to beg. He sat on the couch and grabbed a handful of the cheese flavored popcorn and popped four in his mouth. This has been going for a week now, going home and seeing his best friend alone in the living room. He hasn’t seen Akaashi for awhile now, and Kuroo concluded that he’s avoiding Kuroo too because of Tsukishima. He probably knew that Kuroo would just ask him tons of questions about what's happening.

“How was work, bro— oh fuck! Yes, punch that dick!”

“It was okay,” Kuroo said blandly and Bokuto’s eyes shot up to him then to his hands. Bokuto gushed at his hands and stood up to grab their first aid kit that was only being used solely for Kuroo and his hands.

“These cuts are twice more than usual,” Bokuto muttered to himself while cleaning Kuroo’s hands. “You should be more cautious, dude, I swear, your hands are slowly getting covered of marks,”

“Yeah, thank you,” Kuroo said after Bokuto finished putting some ointment on his cuts.

“Anything for you, bro,”

“So lucky to have you, bro”

“I’m luckier to have you in my life, bro,” They stilled for a second then both cracking up into boisterous waves of laughter. Kuroo wanted to thank Bokuto for relieving some of his pent up stress and making him laugh. Their cheesy bro conversation never fails to make him laugh and feel thankful at the same time. He would probably be crying in a corner now if he doesn’t have Bokuto in his life. He was his forever number one friend, no matter what happens.

After laughing, Bokuto and Kuroo went back to watching the television. Bokuto was cheering from time to time and even standing up when he’s getting too excited. Kuroo tried to enjoy himself too but he couldn’t bring himself to shout and cheer like Bokuto. Kuroo felt the sense of déjà vu with their current situation. Months ago, it was Bokuto who was sad and curling into a ball on the couch and Kuroo was the one who's happy.

“Hey, Bo?”

“Yeah?” Bokuto did not look at him, his eyes were still fixated on the television but Kuroo continued. He knew that Bokuto’s listening to him. He’s always listening to Kuroo and its one of the things that he is grateful for.

“How did you pull yourself up from the _I think I like Akaashi but I’m afraid_ problem?” Kuroo asked and this time, Bokuto looked at him. Eyes questioning his soul.

“Dude, you’re the one who pulled me up from that,” Kuroo blinked at him. Did he really? “You told me to just go to him, and not waste any time. Take risks, remember? You told me that and I thought that yeah, Kuroo’s right,” Kuroo’s eyebrows furrowed and his memories were slowly getting dragged up to the surface. He did say that to a dejected Bokuto with so much confidence. He even told Bokuto to call him his senpai because he was much more experienced in life than the latter did it for a week because he finally saw the light thanks to Kuroo’s words.

The whole thing that Bokuto told him replayed in his mind like a broken cd. It haunted him even when he’s trying to sleep. His eyes were closed but his mind was awake, not giving him even a second to not think about Tsukishima. Not being able to sleep, he grabbed his phone from his side table. No new messages and his messages were left unread. Kuroo felt like losing his mind slowly as his eyes read the draft that he made.

_I miss you_

He was dying to send it and let Tsukishima know but Kuroo was scared. He was afraid of the aftermaths if he finally voiced out his thoughts. He closed his eyes once again and immediately, Oikawa and his own voice echoed in his mind.

Take goddamn risks.

Please, his mind begged and it successfully tugged the last of his sanity. He stood up quickly and grabbed a pair of pants and a shirt and wore it in a flash. He almost forgot his wallet but Kuroo was able to pull himself together. He wore a coat and didn’t really care about his appearance whether his outfit looked good together. Kuroo didn’t care. He just wanted to take a goddamn risk.

—

Tsukishima drank his sixth cup of coffee for the day, technically his first for the new day, considering that its already midnight. Yamaguchi scolded him but Tsukishima ignored him and its not like Yamaguchi could do anything about it. Both of them were sitting on the couch, wrapped in a heavy blanket while munching on their merged food: Tsukishima’s candies and Yamaguchi’s junk foods.

“Hey, Tsukki, what do you think dinosaur’s meat would taste like?” Yamaguchi asked and Tsukishima almost gasped at his horrendous question.

“You are a horrible person Yamaguchi,” Tsukishima said and played the hard candy in his mouth using his tongue. “Plus, we’re literally watching how they died and you’re thinking of what they’ll taste like?” The blonde added but Yamaguchi just giggled in response.

They focused again on the documentary while eating and this was probably one of the things that Tsukishima anticipates every week. Yamaguchi going to their house every Sunday after going out first with Yachi then spending the night. They would always end up on the couch, watching dinosaur documentaries, or sometimes when Terushima was joining them, it would be the annoying action movies. Akaashi rarely joins because he’s always too tired from work but just like their golden rule in the house, they must eat dinner together so Akaashi always pushes himself to at least eat dinner with them even if his body is about to give up of tiredness.

Yamaguchi now sleeps in the guest room after Hinata finally went back home to Kageyama. Terushima and Akaashi lashed out on Kageyama and told him to take care of Hinata better but Tsukishima said nothing. He just nodded at Kageyama as he walks out of the door with his boyfriend’s things. He didn’t felt the need to talk to him and bring up what happened and his other friends’ litany might’ve been more than enough for Kageyama. What's important was that they’re finally okay.

“Tsukki,” Yamaguchi suddenly whispered. Tsukishima looked at him but Yamaguchi was craning his neck to look at the window. “There’s a person, oh my god,” Yamaguchi closed his eyes and Tsukishima could already feel him shaking in fear. The blonde tried to stand but Yamaguchi held his wrist. “No, Tsukki, oh my god, he might be a serial killer,”

Tsukishima wanted to shake his head in disappointment. Yamaguchi’s thoughts might’ve been tainted with Terushima’s cliché action movies. He looked at the window and true enough, there was a shadow reflecting on their white curtain. It was certainly a man and might probably be his height. Tsukishima started to think of what they should do. Calling the police might cause a stir in the neighborhood and they’re not even sure if it is really someone that they don’t know or he could wake Terushima and Akaashi for help to beat the shit out of the intruder. Four versus one is kind of a good idea.

“He’s not moving,” Yamaguchi pointed the shadow and the person outside wasn’t really moving. Tsukishima thought that maybe the person was contemplating whether he should rob a house or no, not until the person rang the doorbell and the two of them flinched. “Oh my god, its a thief, Tsukki,” The freckled man was holding tightly on Tsukishima’s shirt, quivering in fear.

“That's your third oh my god and Yamaguchi, I’m pretty sure that its not a thief,”

“What? How? Its a thief, I swear, I can feel it,”

“A thief ringing a doorbell? Really? I feel like you already need some sleep,” Yamaguchi tried to say something but Tsukishima was already walking towards the door, slightly scared but he was sure that Yamaguchi would kick the man’s face if it’s really an intruder. He unlocked the door and opened it, and wished that maybe, he just didn’t.

“Kei,” Kuroo was panting but he was smiling at him. Tsukishima just stared at him. Having Kuroo in front of him suddenly was.. too consuming. It was draining all the energy that was left in his body.

“Kuroo-san! Thank goodness, its just you! We thought that its a thief!” Tsukishima wanted to grab Yamaguchi and make him talk to Kuroo and he would use the chance to lock himself into his room.

“Uh, nice to see you, it's been a while,” Kuroo scratched the back of his head while smiling awkwardly at Yamaguchi who was now standing beside Tsukishima. “Sorry for going at this hour though—“

“It’s okay, it’s okay! Please come in,” Tsukishima felt Yamaguchi push him softly to the side to let Kuroo in. Yamaguchi turned on the lights and paused the documentary and let Kuroo sit. Tsukishima could hear them talking but their voice sounded so distant. He didn’t know what to do, his thoughts were jumbled and Tsukishima couldn’t bring himself to move.

“Hey, Tsukki,” Yamaguchi shook Tsukishima’s shoulder softly, making Tsukishima look at him. “It seems like Kuroo-san went to talk to you. I’m going to sleep now, okay? Goodnight, Tsukki, and you too, Kuroo!” He gave him a last pat on the back then made his way towards the guest room.

The silence was enough for Tsukishima to hear the annoying ringing in his ears. It was deafening and Tsukishima never felt such dead air around him. He was still standing in front of the door and he probably looked laughable but Tsukishima didn’t care. It was the first time that Tsukishima felt so attached to the door and he currently didn’t have the plan to leave it. He wanted to stand away from Kuroo. He would stand anywhere just to be away from him, away from the person that he was trying to brush off from his life.

“Kei,” Kuroo’s voice was calm, contrary to what Tsukishima feels. The blonde didn’t answer, thinking that his voice might just crack and both of them will end up laughing at him and everything will go back to normal— no, Tsukishima shook his head. The normal that he had was the life without Kuroo. Tsukishima wanted to make him leave but he didn’t know how. Kuroo was in front of him and he can’t just delete him like what he does to his messages without even reading it.

“Can I.. use the kitchen?” Tsukishima was taken aback. That was certainly not what he expected. Heck, Tsukishima doesn’t even know what he’s expecting. He saw Kuroo stand and Tsukishima felt nervous. Nervous that Kuroo would walk to him and they’ll be close and everything will go back to normal— shit, no.

“Y-yeah,” It was the best and safest thing that Tsukishima could muster up at the moment. He was relieved that Kuroo didn’t walk towards him and just went to the kitchen. Tsukishima could hear the plastic bags and containers being opened in the kitchen. Kuroo was without a doubt, baking.

“How does strawberry shortcake sound?” He asked and Tsukishima felt the urge to stomp his feet at the question. Of course, strawberry shortcake sounds good. The greatest of all the greats. It annoys him that even at a time like this, he just couldn’t ignore that strawberry-flavored shortcake. It was frustrating.

“Yeah,” It didn’t make any sense but Kuroo seemed to pick up what he wanted to say. He started to work and Tsukishima started to melt more in place, still unsure of what he’s supposed to do.

“Where are the baking utensils?” Kuroo asked. Tsukishima knew exactly where are those. He kept in inside their random stuff room. All in one place and locked in a humungous box because there was no reason to keep them in the kitchen anymore. Kuroo wasn’t supposed to come back and the only one who’ll bake for Tsukishima is his mother. That was the plan. That was the fucking plan.

Instead of saying anything, he just walked towards the room and grabbed the large container with a heavy heart. He wasn’t supposed to open this again but here he was, wasting all the effort that he exerted to cut Kuroo from his life. Tsukishima propped the container in front of Kuroo quietly. He couldn’t say anything and it's not like he knows what to say.

“Thanks,” Tsukishima just nodded, still not looking at Kuroo, eyes fixated on the floor. He looked dumb but who cares? His sanity might vaporize if he looked straight at Kuroo’s face. “Kei, could you— could just sit there? Please?” Kuroo pointed at the stool at the other side of the counter. Maybe Tsukishima should’ve said no, even if the odds of his voice cracking were high but he didn’t. His body suddenly moved and obeyed Kuroo’s request.

All of a sudden, he heard Hinata’s voice, saying, Tsukishima Kei’s a dumb dumb. And probably for the first time in his life, he believed him. The stool felt cold on his ass despite the thick fabric of his pajamas. This made him want to go back to the coziness of the couch where it's quite warm and far away from Kuroo.

“Plants have these things called organelles that convert light into energy in the plant cells. There lie different pigments, the majority of those are chlorophyll, the green ones but carotenoids are there too,” Tsukishima was quite bothered with what Kuroo was suddenly spouting but the familiarity of what's happening was hurtling right into him. “When the day gets shorter and the weather becomes chilly, these chlorophyll breaks down and the carotenoids take their place and change the leaves’ color into orange or yellow. However, the red ones were changed by this pigment called anthocyanin that is produced only in fall. Cool, right?” Kuroo smiled and maybe Tsukishima did too. “Anthocyanin is made up of anthocyanidins and sugar and this belongs to the phenolic group—“

“Oh my god, Kuroo, stop,” Tsukishima said in between giggles. He didn’t know why was he giggling in the first place but it felt like it was the best thing to do at the moment. Tsukishima knew that he needed to stop Kuroo before he gets to tell everything about this anthocya— what was that again?

“What? It’s cool, you know! It sometimes changes its color and could appear as blue, red, purple—“

“Hold your horses, Tetsu—“

“I love you, Kei,” Tsukishima’s eyes widened at the sudden profession from Kuroo. His throat felt dry and Tsukishima felt the need to drink a liter of water, maybe two liters, or maybe he could just drink until he drowns. He met Kuroo’s eyes and his golden orbs were so enticing that Tsukishima just wanted to get close to him yet he was afraid of getting burned with the emotion that his eyes were giving off.

Kuroo was the first to break their eye contact and continued what he’s doing. Tsukishima saw how Kuroo’s face was beet red, he saw that he was quite shaken as he moves, he saw that he couldn’t grasp the rubber spatula right because he was too tensed. Tsukishima noticed all this but wasn’t aware that tears were falling down his cheeks and his throat felt like its being choked real bad.

It's happening. Kuroo was saying things that Tsukishima couldn’t handle. This was why he tried to ignore Kuroo and push him out of his life. He knew that what they had was bound to end up like this. It was the road that they were walking in and Tsukishima let it happen. He never wanted this to happen. It was just supposed to be casual. Casual fucking sex. But now Kuroo was baking in front of him and he threw those words at him like nothing. Tsukishima knew what he should say.

_No, I’m sorry. I don’t feel the same way._

“No,” He whispered and that was probably just a quarter of what he’s supposed to say but Tsukishima wished that his words reached him even if it was barely audible. He doesn’t think that he’ll be able to say more. That was it, a simple no. That was the best that he could say with a calm voice because if he said more, he would be sobbing and choking on the words and he would look pathetic, bawling, and ridiculous.

“I loved you ever since you told me to call you Kei,” Kuroo said with a smile, still not looking up to Tsukishima. The blonde panicked, knowing that Kuroo didn’t hear him. He wanted to say no again and again but what he did was just sit there and take everything that Kuroo was saying. “You were blushing that time and it made me thank every god that I know. I told Bokuto everything when I came home and we stayed up late. I gushed about you all throughout midnight,” Kuroo chuckled but it only brought more tears to Tsukishima. It was stirring up his emotions more than Tsukishima ever thought.

“Everyone told me to just confess but I was scared with the outcome. Saying those words to you took me months of piling up courage and god, Kei, suddenly you weren’t talking to me and I— I couldn’t handle it. I need you to revolve in my space, Kei,” Kuroo poured the batter into the baking pan, in time with the slow crumbling of Tsukishima’s existence. “Then they told me to just take goddamn risks but I wasn’t good with that. But then hey, I realized on my way here that I already did took a risk months ago. I slept with you even if one night stands are not my thing and it all dawned on me. You are worth taking the risk, Tsukishima Kei,”

Tsukishima’s chest was tightening and he could feel his heart beating fast, loud, wild. He needed to drag the words out of his mouth and just reject Kuroo, right now while he still has the chance but his mouth wasn’t coinciding with his head and he knew that it was irrational and reckless.

“I am complicated, Kuroo,” _and you don’t deserve someone that has issues. You need someone who's capable to do everything with you without getting anxious. Someone that would make you smile and not make you worry. Someone that would not ignore you because he’s scared._

“I don’t care. I am complicated too. We can be complicated together. I’ll stay by your side,” Kuroo finally looked at him and saw Tsukishima’s bloodshot eyes. His eyes were brimming in tears too but he needed to finish this.

“It’s not that easy,” Tsukishima counters, hands holding his shirt too tight that it hurts.

“We will make it easy, Kei,” Tsukishima bit his lip. It was ‘we’. Kuroo intends to do that together, to make it easy, just for him. He could feel his heart swelling because of something, something close with being overwhelmed and happy and scared at the same time. Tsukishima was feeling everything, it was frightening him to death.

“I don’t want to hurt you,” Tsukishima said. It was true. He was more than terrified with the thought of hurting Kuroo more than him hurting. Kuroo deserves more than what Tsukishima could offer. He was as precious as chrysanthemums and Tsukishima would never want to harm his delicate petals.

“You might hurt me but do you think that I care? Come on, Kei, you know that all I care is you and flowers and what should I bake for you next Wednesday and—“ Tsukishima hopped off of his seat and ran to him, crushing his lips on Kuroo’s. It was impulsive but Tsukishima sighed in contentment when he finally felt Kuroo’s kiss again. He felt stupid now that he ignored Kuroo for weeks. The feeling of wanting to apologize to him was circling in his mind. It must’ve been really hard for Kuroo and it was all because of Tsukishima’s naiveness.

Kuroo’s hands moved to Tsukishima’s cheeks and he was wiping the tears away, just like how he was melting Tsukishima with his kiss. It was slow and Kuroo couldn’t wish for more. When they parted, Tsukishima pressed their foreheads together, finally able to breathe calmly.

“I’m warning you, I’m a hell of a luggage, Tetsurou,”

“I’m good with luggage,” Kuroo then showed him his arms and flexed it perfectly. His biceps showing and Tsukishima couldn’t help but laugh.

“You’re crazy,” Tsukishima laughed and it was relaxing. Who knew that laughing could bring this much serenity to him?

“And yours,” Kuroo held both of his hands and Tsukishima’s laugh slowly came to a halt. Only the loud and erratic beating of their hearts can be heard in the middle of midnight.

“Yes, mine,”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I can't believe that there's just a couple of chapters left! ヽ(>∀<☆)ノ I actually couldn't tell if I'm happy or sad but anyways, thank you for the kudos, comments, and the bookmarks as well :> And everyone, let's say, Happy birthday, Kei! ♡( ◡‿◡ )


	14. Chapter 14

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yes, yes, at last, the smut has come. Sorry for making you all wait for Tsukki and Kuroo's sexy time but I felt like it's a lot better than rushing it and so, happy reading, everyone!╰(*´︶`*)╯

Kei liked having Kuroo in his bed as much as he likes dinosaurs. Kei liked watching Kuroo’s chest rise up and down slowly as much as he likes books. Kei liked Kuroo as much as he likes strawberries.

There was this calm and bubbly feeling in his chest as turned to his side and propped his elbow to take a good look at his sleeping _boyfriend_. Tsukishima could almost felt himself blush the simple word. The thought of having Kuroo as his boyfriend did cross his mind more than a few times in the past but finally having him here? Peacefully sleeping beside him with the sunlight slowly making his skin appear like its glowing? Tsukishima couldn’t wish for anything better than this.

“Hmm... Kei,” Tsukishima fought back a smile at Kuroo’s groggy voice calling his name. He must’ve lost his mind. He was never this easy to smile. “How was your sleep?” The older man asked, eyes squinting to adjust at the light engulfing them.

“Okay, I guess,” Tsukishima said but the truth was his sleep was a mix of anxiety and happiness. It took him approximately two hours before being able to sleep and just spent those hours just looking at the ceiling, in the dark, thinking if his decisions were right. But Kuroo hugged him in the middle of his little fight with himself and it was all it took to make Tsukishima’s eyes flutter in sleepiness. Seeing Kuroo right now, with his glorious smile, his thumb caressing Kei’s cheeks with such gentleness, maybe it wasn’t worth overthinking about it.

“Want some breakfast?” Kuroo asked but Tsukishima just stared at him. He still didn’t want to get up, it might be the last thing that he’d want at the time being. He wanted to stay in bed, just sprawled out with Kuroo on his side. He could tease him about his more prominent bed hair while running his fingers through it, feeling the soft strands. He could just hug Kuroo the whole time and Kei would be happy as hell. They don’t need to get up. There’s no need to get up. It’s Monday and Kuroo has work but he looked like he’s gonna ditch it anyway, and Tsukishima doesn’t have any work to think of.

_Being jobless never felt this good._

“I—“

“It’s okay, I know that you still want to enjoy my handsome face,” Kuroo pulled him close before Tsukishima could protest. Not that the blonde would actually protest because this was what he wanted. With Kuroo’s arms around him as he breathes in his scent, flowers.

Tsukishima buried his face on Kuroo’s neck as he tried to wrap his arm around Kuroo slowly after contemplating a lot. The position was comfortable and perfect, both just snuggling each other, feeling their warmth in the middle of the breezy morning of fall. Tsukishima could live like this, with Kuroo’s warmth enveloped around him while feeling the steady heartbeat that could lull him to sleep. He could just awe continuously at his smooth skin, slowly turning into deep and beaming gold, courtesy of the mighty sun. The sunrise was just behind Kuroo and Tsukishima couldn’t grasp how serene the view was.

He wanted to say something in between the silence. Maybe say something cunningly sweet that would melt Kuroo or anything that's not mean. He wanted to make Kuroo know that he’s happy too, to be with him, to take the risk too, all with him but Tsukishima couldn’t push out the words from his mouth.

“Hey, what’re you thinking, hm?” Kuroo started to play with his blonde locks, making Tsukishima close his eyes and just feel the tingly sensation on his scalp.

“Nothing,” It’s nothing, it was a lot more than nothing, and Tsukishima himself knew that. But maybe it’s the best thing to do, for now, to just keep quiet and let Kuroo do all the copious amount of talking just like he usually does and maybe Tsukishima could even enjoy Kuroo’s nonsense blabbering.

“You’re so beautiful, Kei,” Kuroo whispered and placed a kiss on Tsukishima’s forehead. The brief contact almost made the blonde explode in joy. He wanted to say something, maybe compliment Kuroo too because he definitely deserves it but all the rational thought in his head was slowly being pushed out by the thought of kissing Kuroo.

Tsukishima did his best and tried not to think and just let himself go along with what he wants. He cupped Kuroo’s cheeks and kissed him softly. It was enough to melt Tsukishima onto the mattress and maybe he turned into a puddle when Kuroo deepened the kiss. Tsukishima gladly opened his mouth and let Kuroo’s tongue dip in his mouth. He could taste the mint from last night’s toothpaste but above everything, he could taste Kuroo, his tongue, his lips soft and pliable and now kissing him deeper. Tsukishima let a quiet moan that was easily swallowed by Kuroo’s kisses. His hands started to move towards Kuroo’s nape, then to his hair and gently tugged it, lost in the maze of the kiss.

“I missed you, so, so much, Kei,” Kuroo said and the tenderness in his voice was almost enough to make Tsukishima’s eyes brim in tears.

“I missed you too,” There was a pause, and suddenly, Tsukishima really felt the urge to cry. “I-I’m sorry, Kuroo. I really am—“

“No, no,” Kuroo’s thumb went back to caressing his cheeks. “You did nothing wrong. It’s alright,” Kuroo kissed him again, this time it was a chaste and quick kiss. Something that could cheer him up, Tsukishima concluded.

“Why are you this kind to me? It’s annoying,” Tsukishima said with a grin that made Kuroo smile. Kuroo continued to play with his hair and plant soft kisses all over Tsukishima’s face.

“Should I turn into a meanie instead? Like you?” In normal circumstances, Tsukishima would’ve been offended with that, but right now? He couldn’t help but just smile at Kuroo and ignore his last sentence.

“No,” Kei said, “Just continue being kind and kiss me again,” Kuroo started to chuckle that quickly wiped off the smile on Tsukishima’s face. It was supposed to be romantic and sweet. It wasn’t supposed to make Kuroo laugh. Tsukishima scoffed at Kuroo and pushed him lightly to turn his back on him.

He wasn’t good with this, all the candied and sugared words but Tsukishima was trying his best. He wanted to at least be able to bridge the gap between their difference in the level of sweetness because it's too far and Kei... he was already getting nervous that Kuroo would get tired of his incapability to show affection.

“Come on, Kei. Face me again? That was just cute, couldn’t help but to laugh. Sorry, sorry, ” Tsukishima didn’t move, his lips in a pout, still quite disappointed with himself by saying something lame that just made Kuroo laugh. “Hey, I want to kiss you too. Look at me again, please?” Tsukishima felt his ears grow hot. Please. Okay, maybe Tsukishima would give in. That fucking please made him wobbly.

He shifted and faced Kuroo who was smiling. There’s still so much that Tsukishima wanted to say and he knew that Kuroo does too but it doesn’t matter for now. They’re together and right now, Kuroo is in front of him, smiling just for Kei.

“Where’s my kiss now?” Tsukishima asked with his eyebrow cocked. This made Kuroo laugh loud and before Tsukishima could say anything else, Kuroo pulled him by his waist and kissed him. Slow and successfully bringing Kei into oblivion.

Tsukishima wasn’t able to stop the moan when their tongue brushed against each other. Kuroo’s hands that were slipping now inside his shirt was definitely not helping to tone done his moans. His fingertips felt hot and each touch was enough to make Tsukishima squirm. Its been too long since they last held each other like this and now, even the slightest touch has an enormous effect on him.

Kuroo hovered him and Tsukishima’s fingers never left his dark locks. Kuroo’s fingers sent electricity all throughout Tsukishima’s body and he liked it. Their kiss was unhurried yet deep that it made Tsukishima stop from thinking anything else besides Kuroo. The wet sounds of their lips attaching and detaching were sending blood straight to Tsukishima’s cock. Kuroo only smirked upon feeling the growing erection on Tsukishima’s pajamas on his thigh and his smirk was not left unnoticed by the blonde.

The whimper that escaped Kei’s lips almost sounded painful when Kuroo’s warm fingers grazed against his nipple. The tingling heat was already making him feel lose his mind, and so, Tsukishima grabbed Kuroo’s shirt and pulled it off of him.

_No thinking. Just do it._

He leaned forward as soon as he removed Kuroo’s shirt and surged into a kiss. Suddenly, it was fast, deep, all-encompassing heat against his mouth and tongues devouring each other. Tsukishima glided his hands along Kuroo’s torso, his back, and then going back to his shoulders and neck. Kuroo was starting groan and it just made Tsukishima feel hot even more. The slow trace that Kuroo does on his stomach and chest was agonizing but Tsukishima doesn’t want him to stop. It was satisfying enough, making him whimper almost every minute.

“ _Kei,_ ” Kuroo breathed against him and Tsukishima just nodded furiously. Their eyes locked, both staring into each other’s soul. Tsukishima almost cursed when saw the glint of determination and hunger in Kuroo’s golden eyes. He wants him and Tsukishima wants him too. There was no need for overthinking. Tsukishima just wanted to make this happen.

“Make love to me, Tetsurou,” Tsukishima said slowly and pulled Kuroo’s face closer to him. Their lips slightly brushing. It might’ve sounded lame and bygone but Tsukishima ignored it and Kuroo didn’t seem to mind it either. Instead, Kuroo kissed him once again in a hurry as he stripped Tsukishima out of his shirt.

Tsukishima didn’t waste any time and dipped his hands down to the elastic band of Kuroo’s shorts and pushing it down, leaving him in his boxers. Too focused on removing Kuroo’s shorts, Tsukishima slightly arched his back when he suddenly felt Kuroo’s lips on his neck, sucking and licking on his sensitive skin. He closed his eyes, trying to feel the soft lips on his skin that was trailing down to his chest. He secretly wanted to thank Kuroo for giving his nipples the attention that they needed. His tongue was circling around the tiny perked nub and Tsukishima could feel the fine hair on his neck stand with the sensation. Kuroo continued to leave hickeys on his neck, chest, right under his nipples, and on his chiseled stomach. The different hues of pink were beautiful and alluring on Tsukishima’s pale skin.

When Kuroo pulled down both of Tsukishima’s pajamas and boxers, the blonde gasped at the sudden temperature around his hardened cock. Suddenly, he felt freezing cold and blazing hot with Kuroo’s hands still wandering around his body. He slipped them off of his legs and there was Tsukishima, fully naked in front of Kuroo who was suppressing himself to lick his lips. Kuroo gently held both of Tsukishima’s thighs and ran his hands on it. His fingers tracing the white milky skin of the inside of Tsukishima’s thighs.

“Hey, Kei, can I take my time with you?” Kuroo asked, voice ragged. Tsukishima could just nod at him, eyes not leaving Kuroo’s golden orbs.

“Yes, yes,” Tsukishima whispered. Eyes almost brimming at the thought of they didn’t need to hurry and do everything quickly because they had time. And Tsukishima was sure that they’d have _a lot of it_ because he intends to _keep_ Kuroo as long as he could.

He watched Kuroo as he leaned onto his thighs and started to kiss every inch. He was stroking his thighs and was slowly pushing it upwards, exposing the under part of his thighs. Each touch was slow and almost torturing, making Tsukishima’s legs twitch from time to time. His thighs already felt sticky because of Kuroo’s saliva but it felt pleasant at the same time because it was Kuroo’s work.

He didn’t know where to place his hands and just opted to cover his eyes— glasses with both of his hands. The glasses were a bit of a nuisance but Tsukishima wanted to see everything. He doesn’t want to miss out on anything. He just hopes that he’d get through this with his glasses still intact together.

The feeling of being kissed softly on his inner thighs was already making his cock drip and maybe if Tsukishima would even try to look at the sight below him, he might come untouched.

“You are the most beautiful thing in the world, Tsukishima Kei,” Tsukishima bit his lip hard to keep himself from moaning when he felt Kuroo’s breath against his balls. Not long enough, Kuroo’s kisses were gone, it was replaced by his tongue circling around Tsukishima’s rim. Slow and teasing and it made Tsukishima gasp at the new sensation. He could almost feel his eyes rolling at the back of his head when the tip of Kuroo’s tongue was pressed inside him. It was hot and soft that it made Tsukishima’s cock twitch.

Kuroo then started to thrust his tongue inside and Tsukishima screamed. It felt too wet and good at the same time. Tsukishima wanted to protest and tell Kuroo that even if he liked this so much, he doesn’t want to get off just with his tongue. He wanted him, all of him but the small muscle inside him made Tsukishima lose his ability to talk. He was just moaning shamelessly with how well he’s being eaten out, his legs spread obscenely, cock dripping, and asking for some attention.

“T-Tetsurou.. fuck—“ A series of curses were uttered by Tsukishima with his toes curling and hips slightly moving down, pressing his ass more on Kuroo’s face, on his sinful tongue. “Come on, Tetsu. I need you now,”

“Okay, okay, I’m here,” Kuroo said with a smile after licking his lips. “That looks painful,” He pointed at Tsukishima’s erection. It was really hard and was twitching and dripping. Tsukishima shot a glare at him and rolled his eyes.

“Yours looks painful too,” Tsukishima said smugly, smirking at Kuroo while he was staring at his boxers that was now stained, too stained with pre-cum. Tsukishima moved and did the initiative to strip Kuroo off of his boxers.

Kuroo was now naked, making Tsukishima grin more and what a sight he was. He was so, so wet. He moved closer and let his index finger slide on the glistening head of Kuroo’s cock, making the latter groan. The tip of his finger was effortlessly covered in pre-cum, an evidence of how Kuroo was turned on. Tsukishima brought his finger to his mouth, licking it clean and tasting Kuroo.

“Stretch me now, would you?” Tsukishima said right after sucking his finger and releasing it with a pop, eyes not wavering off of Kuroo’s. He saw the flick in Kuroo’s gaze and Tsukishima was pretty sure that anytime now, Kuroo would be inside of him, ramming relentlessly—

“Fuck,” Kuroo said loudly. Tsukishima looked at him, shocked and worried at the same time.

“What happened?” Tsukishima asked, eyebrows furrowing as milliseconds pass by without Kuroo answering him.

“My hands are fucking...” Kuroo showed his hands and Tsukishima almost grimaced upon seeing it. It was full of splinters and obviously, Kuroo can’t finger him. Tsukishima did what came first into his mind. He grabbed a pillow and threw it flat on Kuroo’s face.

“Kuroo fucking Tetsurou,” Tsukishima whispered not knowing if he was supposed to be disappointed. Kuroo hands had always been free of splinters, maybe a few, one to three but Kuroo has always been capable of fingering him, stretching him until he’s on the edge.

He expected Kuroo to say something but he just chuckled. Tsukishima wanted to kick him because he was now pissed yet his cock was still standing proud, already aching and asking to cum.

While Kuroo was still chuckling and saying how sorry he was, which didn’t sound serious at all, Tsukishima opened his top drawer and grabbed the bottle of lube. He opened the cap and poured a lot on his fingers.

“You are such a dork, Tet— _ugh_ , shit,” Both of their breath hitched when Tsukishima inserted a finger in his hole. Kuroo had his eyes widened as he stared at Tsukishima’s face then to his fingers back and forth. Kuroo’s reaction made Tsukishima bit back a grin, loving every second that Kuroo looked like he’s salivating at the sight of Tsukishima stretching himself.

Tsukishima pushed his whole finger up to the last knuckle, almost gasping in pain but melting with pleasure. He worked his fingers in and out, clearly knowledgeable of what he’s doing. His fingers might be slim, not as thick as Kuroo’s but it was long and Tsukishima has been doing this for years now, he knew what he had to do. When Tsukishima felt comfortable enough, he slowly pushed in another digit. He heard the familiar sound of the bottle cap opening and Tsukishima forced his eyes to open, looking at Kuroo who poured lube on Tsukishima’s balls that trailed down to his ass and fingers, helping him for more lubrication. It felt cold but the thought flew away when Tsukishima saw Kuroo slicking himself up, his hand slowly jerking himself while watching Tsukishima work his fingers.

“Fucking hell, Kei,” Kuroo whispered and the low rumble of his voice along with the certain thrust of his fingers sent shivers down to Tsukishima’s spine. His head tipped back and his eyes shut, lost in the feeling of his fingers thrusting in him.

Tsukishima felt Kuroo’s lips on his neck, nipping at the skin and probably leaving another couple of hickeys on him. He didn’t mind because it would look wonderful the next day. His torso would be painted in a beautiful mix of pink and violet, all because of Kuroo. He worked his fingers faster and the moans escaping from his mouth were getting louder.

His vision was slowly blurring even with his glasses on when Kuroo wrapped his hand around his cock, flicking his finger around the head, making him writhe.

“Ngh— Tetsurou,” Tsukishima bit his lip and moved his fingers, three now, faster and deeper as he can. He already wants Kuroo, he wanted to feel him as he fills him with his relishing shaft all over again.

“Yes, baby,” The sudden endearment just made Tsukishima breathe faster, and suddenly, he decided that it was enough. He was more than ready now and he needed Kuroo. Just him.

“Fuck me now,” Tsukishima said, shifting onto the bed and laying on his back. He heard Kuroo chuckle as he ripped off the foil packet and slides the condom on his cock.

“What are you, in a rush? Hm, Kei?” Kuroo kissed the skin right under Tsukishima’s navel and grazed it with his teeth. Kuroo placed kisses on the younger’s hipbones as he lubes himself and Tsukishima felt sparkly with anticipation.

“It’s either you fuck me or I’ll kick you,” Tsukishima said but it didn’t sound like a threat at all. It even made Kuroo laugh. The blonde was about to slap his arm when he felt the head of Kuroo’s cock on his entrance. He inhaled a huge amount of air, readying himself to the girth of Kuroo.

“Tetsurou,” Tsukishima said, voice now laced with immense seriousness when Kuroo continued to just rub his cock on Tsukishima’s hole. He was definitely teasing him and Tsukishima was really close to kicking Kuroo. He felt the urge to pin Kuroo down and just ride him until they pass out— “Holy fuck!”

Kuroo slowly pushed himself into him and Tsukishima felt like dying. Three fingers stretching him still wasn’t enough. The pain was jarring as Kuroo pushed all of his length in him. Tsukishima’s eyes were brimmed in tears as he let himself adjust with Kuroo finally inside him. He was aware that Kuroo was staring at him, watching his every reaction, looking for discomfort so he could stop if Kei wants. But Kei wanted this, and now that Kuroo’s finally stopped from teasing, Tsukishima would receive every inch of him.

“You feel so fucking good, Kei,” Kuroo whispered while pushing some strands of his hair to the back of his ear. When all of him was finally inside Tsukishima, Kuroo then started to kiss him everywhere that he could reach. “Yes, fuck,” His hands wandered all throughout Kei’s body and he kissed his chest while rolling Tsukishima’s nipples around his fingers. The blonde’s mouth was open the whole time, faint gasps and moans coming out and he could already feel the thin sheen of sweat on both of their bodies.

“Still okay?” Kuroo asked and Tsukishima slowly nodded. It was taking him longer to adjust than he expected. It was understandable since it been more than two weeks since he had sex with Kuroo. He only did a few jerking off session in his shower and its been a while since he had something in his ass. Kuroo wasn’t small and Tsukishima felt like splitting open with the stretch.

“You’re taking me in so good, baby,” Kuroo continued to kiss him and pepper him with praises. His voice made Tsukishima felt safe and vulnerable under his touch at the same time but he couldn’t wish for anything else. “Kei, Kei, My love,” Kuroo’s lips were brushing on his ears, teeth softly biting the upper part of Tsukishima’s collarbone. Tsukishima started to overheat with the sensation and chooses to grab Kuroo’s head and smash his lips against his.

He didn’t care where Kuroo’s mouth just came from. The important thing was it is Kuroo. It’s his mouth and it’s his tongue sliding across Tsukishima’s teeth, licking every part of his mouth. Tsukishima hums into his mouth and Kuroo quickly pulled out from the kiss. He looks straight to his eyes for confirmation. Kei nodded at him, cheeks flush and his lips red.

Kuroo started to move, hips slowly moving in shallow thrusts. Tsukishima’s hands find its way to Kuroo’s shoulder for support as he starts to feel everything all at once. It was so slow and excruciating but they both need to be patient, just until Tsukishima fully adjusts.

The rock of his hips was starting to get steady, and Tsukishima felt so good. Kuroo was groaning hard with patience as he suppressed himself from ramming into Tsukishima who already looked wrecked just by his slow and shallow thrusts.

“Tetsurou... ah— please, please,” Tsukishima whimpered and Kuroo didn’t need to be told twice. He wasted no seconds and starts to thrust into Tsukishima faster than earlier. “Fucking.. christ!” Kuroo held him still with his hands both on his hips, pushing more and pulling Tsukishima’s hips down to his cock at the same time.

“Yeah, babe.. you’re so fucking tight. So, so good,” Kuroo moans, eyes not straying away from Tsukishima’s face. The blonde could feel his soul leaving his body as Kuroo rocks into him faster. The force was too much and his vision starts to turn white from the blinding pleasure.

Tsukishima started to quiver, arms shaking with every roll of Kuroo’s hips. And with a certain thrust, Tsukishima’s back left the mattress, arching so hard that he almost felt his bones cracking but fuck, all he could he think about was Kuroo’s cock inside him.

“More, more,” Tsukishima whimpered and Kuroo obliged quickly, barely retreating his cock and driving into him again fully, dead straight on Tsukishima’s prostate. A plethora of pleads came out of Tsukishima’s mouth, slurring pleasantly. Kuroo drives into him without abandon then stopped for a second, pulling out completely that made Tsukishima whine loudly. “Hnggh.. Tetsu..”

“I know, Kei,” Kuroo kissed him quickly and lifted Tsukishima’s hips to place a pillow under him for more leverage. Tsukishima just nodded at him with his eyes closed tight. He moaned at how easy Kuroo was able to push himself in again. It felt so hot and unyielding and so, so wet with the lube in him and some dripping on his thighs. Kuroo started to thrust again and the embers in Kei’s veins turned into a dazzling fire when Kuroo’s head grazed right on his prostate with the new angle.

“Oh my... fucking god— fuck, fuck,” Tsukishima was writhing, his legs shaking around Kuroo’s waist, saliva running down the side of his lips. The bliss was too much and he could only accept it as he stares at Kuroo whose mouth was open, groans continuously coming out of his mouth and holy fuck, it was turning Tsukishima on more than he ever was in his life. Kuroo’s growls felt feral and animalistic but it sounded so sexy and it was pulling Tsukishima into him more.

Kuroo pushed his right leg up and rested it on his shoulder. Tsukishima felt him deeper, his insides squeezing Kuroo’s cock in a really good way. His vision was trembling along with his legs, his eyes rolling in pure pleasure as Kuroo hits his prostate over and over. The heat that he’s feeling was hard to comprehend and he could feel his skin sparkling and dissolving at everything.

_Too much, too much_ but Kei just keeps on saying _harder, Tetsurou._

The slick sounds of skin slapping invaded the room and it felt so perfect. Kuroo was driving into him with the perfect pace, on the perfect spot, with his lips kissing him gently, licking his sweat covered neck before wrapping his hand around the blonde’s neglected cock. Tsukishima’s eyes flew open at the sensation. He might’ve screamed but Tsukishima didn’t care anymore. Kuroo moved his hand up and down, stroking him at the same pace with his thrusts. Tsukishima felt like exploding, like a bomb about to detonate.

“Fuck, yes!” Tsukishima moaned and tried to look at Kuroo through the lenses of his now crooked glasses. Kuroo was smirking at him and the sight was more than anything Tsukishima wished for. Kuroo looking down at him with a satisfied and proud smirk, pounding into him like a nail, stroking his cock and twisting his fingers right under the head to make him feel more. “I’m so close, oh god, Tetsu— too close—“

“Oh yeah?” Kuroo asked teasingly. “Go on then, cum, _Tsukishima,_ ” Kei’s voice was already broken, choking on his own spit throughout his cries of pleasure with his lips trembling. A final lengthy moan ripped off of his chest and Tsukishima was shuddering, cumming hard on his chest and stomach and on Kuroo’s hand. Kuroo didn’t stop, instead, he fucked him more, deeper that Tsukishima almost felt like he was about to faint. He was vaguely aware of Kuroo finishing who was groaning hard too. He fucked both of them throughout their orgasm. Both hypersensitive and moaning low in their chest. When Kuroo finally rode out the last of his orgasm, he pulled out and slumped on Tsukishima’s chest.

Suddenly, it was silent and calm. Tsukishima was still collecting himself from what happened with the excessive heat coming from Kuroo’s body. Their pressed chests and stomachs felt so sticky that Tsukishima made a sound when he finally came into his senses.

“Get off, you’re fucking heavy,” Tsukishima tried to push Kuroo but his arms felt like jelly as well as his legs. The dark-haired man shook his head against his neck with a resisting groan. “I can’t breathe, Tetsurou,”

Kuroo moved his head and stared at Tsukishima with a grin. “I’ll be your air then,” He started to chase Tsukishima’s mouth while blowing right on his face, fogging the blonde’s glasses. Tsukishima let out an undignified squeak as Kuroo continuously blows air on his face. He couldn’t push him off of him, not with his arms about to give up and definitely not when Kuroo was smiling so bright, clearly happy even though he might be clueless that he was spitting on Tsukishima’s face.

It felt like forever when Kuroo finally stopped his silly act and Kei was more than thankful, minus the fact that Kuroo’s weight was still on his chest and he could feel his lungs about to pop. He tapped Kuroo’s shoulder quickly and the older man quickly jumped off of him with a shriek

“ _You turned blue!_ ” Kuroo gasped as Tsukishima finally breathes in a good amount of air. He shot a glare at Kuroo who was now laughing his heart out, not even worried that Tsukishima might’ve died. Tsukishima wanted to strangle him so badly but he prioritized his poor lungs first, heaving and breathing through his nose.

“You’re trying to kill me,” Tsukishima deadpanned that made Kuroo laugh even more. He was cackling and Tsukishima could only scoff at him.

_Unbelievable._

“Oh, Kei, I would never kill you,” Kuroo said softly and draped his arms around Tsukishima, making them lie down again against the disheveled sheets.

“You’re really heavy,” Tsukishima promised and almost lost his hearing because of how loud Kuroo’s gasp was against his ear.

“Really?” Kuroo asked and sat abruptly, checking his body. Tsukishima stopped himself from laughing as he watched Kuroo spout about his work out regimen that he always do with Bokuto every other day to keep his body healthy and prevent him from gaining weight. He was gushing about this until they were inside the bathroom, helping each other clean themselves.

If only it was legal to put duct tape around someone’s mouth, maybe Tsukishima already did it on Kuroo. The man was too loud, blabbering about his weight and Tsukishima even lost track with how his rant ended up with acetoacetic acid.

When they finally finished showering, Tsukishima took his time to blow dry his hair, unlike Kuroo who just placed the towel on his head. “What do you want for breakfast?” Tsukishima looked at him, quite pursing his lips while thinking. “And no, don’t even try to say or think about something sweet. It’s too early. I’ll kick you,”

“That’s my line,”

“I don’t care. We’re married now, it’s a conjugal property,” Kuroo crossed his arms against his shoulder. Maybe, this made Tsukishima’s cheeks grew red but he still managed to bow his head and continued to dry his hair to hide the crimson shade on his cheeks.

“Scrambled eggs and maybe some instant noodles?”

“Okay, got it. Anything else?” Tsukishima shook his head and looked at Kuroo from the mirror. His hair was still wet and Kuroo almost seemed like a different person with his dark locks down.

_He looks... soft and hot? At the same? Is that even possible?_

“See you downstairs, Kei,” Kuroo said and kissed the top of his hair before going out of his room. The gesture made him shiver and floaty but he shook his head and tried to focus on drying his hair yet the small smile still lingered in his lips even when he finished.

Tsukishima replaced everything on his bed as it definitely reeks of sex and made a mental note to wash it later. Moving freely was still hard, his whole body still felt like marshmallows, the one with the strawberry jelly around and— oh, Tsukishima wasn’t supposed to be thinking about sweets. Too early.

He went down and saw Kuroo who still had the towel on his head while cooking. Instead of sitting at the stool across the counter and watch him from the front, Tsukishima now stood beside Kuroo, their shoulders bumping into each other as Tsukishima watch Kuroo cook. They stayed silent not until the oil popped when Kuroo placed the eggs on the pan and it shoots straight to Tsukishima’s arm. Kuroo immediately received a good ass slap on his back, making him wince in pain and finally believes that his boyfriend played volleyball in high school.

Shocked with how Kuroo reacted like he was in pain, Tsukishima felt guilty and had the desire to apologize because fuck, first of all, he doesn’t want to fuck this up earlier than he expected and two, yes, that might’ve hurt and three, Tsukishima’s trying to be a good boyfriend, at least, in his way.

“No,” Kuroo suddenly said without even looking at Tsukishima. “Don’t even try to say sorry. Stop saying sorry, even for today, okay?” Kuroo said then smiled at him.

Tsukishima’s eyes started to water. Was this okay? Why was Kuroo being this considerate and patient to him? Now that he’s thinking about it, he never really did anything to him. Tsukishima felt the guilt slowly eating him up, anxiety starting to build up. What if Kuroo would realize this? He would definitely leave Tsukishima in a heartbeat.

_No, no, no, no—_

“Hug me,” Kuroo suddenly said, making Tsukishima stare at him. “Hug, babe, pressing bodies, sharing the coziness—“

“I know what hug means, Kuroo,”

“And I know that you’re thinking lots of shit again. Just stop thinking and hug me, okay?” Kuroo kissed his forehead and really, Tsukishima was on the brink of crying again. When did he become this crybaby?

Slowly, he slipped his arms around the older’s waist, hugging his comfortably from the back after setting the towel aside. He rested his chin on Kuroo’s shoulder and closed his eyes. This looked so _cliché_ and Tsukishima actually prayed that no one would ever walk into them hugging sweetly in the kitchen but hey, this was effectively calming his nerves down.

“See? Better than overthinking, right?” Tsukishima subtly nodded, quite embarrassed that Kuroo was right. He smelled his strawberry shampoo on Kuroo’s hair and god, he still smelled like flowers even after their morning sex and shower. He hugged him tighter, feeling giddy at the clothed abs pressing on his forearms. Might as well enjoy this while it lasts.

“Good morning, my gay friends!” Terushima’s voice boomed in the whole house, making both of them flinch. Tsukishima quickly retreated his hands and saw the shit-eating grin that Terushima had on his face.

“Why do I keep forgetting that you’re jobless too?” Tsukishima muttered when Kuroo and Terushima fist-bumped. Terushima looked at him and when their eyes met, Tsukishima saw something more genuine than teasing. He smiled at him knowing that even without voicing it out, Terushima was happy for him that he finally figured things out.

“Kei!” Tsukishima frowned when he saw Akiteru running to him with his arms wide open. Akiteru successfully hugged him, crushing his younger brother’s already crushed bones. Tsukishima just let him, not actually bothering to hug back because he felt frail and it’s not like he hasn’t seen Akiteru for a long time. “I missed you!”

“Well, I didn’t,” Akiteru loosened his hug and Tsukishima quickly use this chance to push him slightly. Well, maybe he shouldn’t have because as soon as they parted, Akiteru was looking at Kuroo.

“I haven’t eaten yet and I feel like helping our Kuroo-kun here,” Akiteru said with a smile while patting Kuroo’s back, making him bow his head at his boyfriend’s older brother. Tsukishima felt uneasy with how Akiteru smiled and definitely with how Kuroo seemed to look smaller than Akiteru. Before he could say anything, Terushima was already tugging his arm, bringing him into the living room.

“Tsukki,” Terushima called out and Tsukishima already braced himself for the potential squeal that might come out of Terushima’s mouth. “So, we finally talked about—“

“I know—“

“Quit interrupting me or I’ll tell Akiteru that you and Kuroo were banging so hard earlier,” The threat was enough to make Tsukishima shut up. He knew firsthand that they weren’t really at their quiet selves earlier— not that Kuroo was ever quiet, and the probability of being heard was really high. But letting Akiteru know what's happening in his sex life sounded so weird and it didn’t really sit well to Tsukishima so yes, Kei would stop interrupting Terushima. “I literally ate all of your shares for breakfast earlier when Keiji and Dashi left for work because you two sounded like you’re having the time of your life while I was there, alone in the kitchen, sad and weeping until Akiteru came,”

The sparkles in Terushima’s eyes made Tsukishima want to throw up even with his empty stomach. Tsukishima made a gagging sound and quickly earned a slap from Terushima. It was at these times that Tsukishima tries his best to remember why did he even invite Terushima to live with him in the first place.

“Shut up, Kei,”

“‘kay,” Terushima shot him a glare and Tsukishima fought back a chuckle. There were a few seconds of silence until Terushima wrapped his arms around Tsukishima’s arm and leaned his cheek on his shoulder.

“We just talked but I still don’t know,” Terushima said with a quiet voice. Tsukishima wanted to give him a bit of advice, something along the lines of that's okay, just talk to him again and everything will be alright. But Tsukishima knew that it wasn’t that easy. Nothing’s easy. “How about you two? Back to being friends with benefits?”

Tsukishima chuckled at this. It sounded funny now that he’s hearing it but there was a reassuring feeling in his chest, a soft ignition of something that made his heart thump wildly. “Boyfriends,” Tsukishima corrected and suddenly, Terushima was squealing and shaking him too much, a little too excited.

“I’m so proud of you!” Terushima said and kissed his cheek that Tsukishima quickly wiped off. “Have you told anyone yet?” Tsukishima shook his head that made Terushima dance in victory, proud that he was the first to know among Tsukishima’s friends. Tsukishima just let him since he himself was happy too. All floaty and currently on cloud nine.

Terushima tried his best to milk out some information about how they got together last night and why was he moaning too much a while ago but Tsukishima zipped his mouth close. Tsukishima wanted it to be private. Just him and Kuroo knowing what exactly happened. Like a small little secret.

But Tsukishima almost scoffed when he remembered that his boyfriend does have his best bro. There's no way that Kuroo won’t tell Bokuto what happened and beside him was Terushima who was whining too much but enduring it was better than telling him something that would last as their topic for approximately three days in their house.

When Terushima got tired of annoying him— finally— Akiteru and Kuroo called them for their late breakfast. Tsukishima looks at Kuroo from time to time to search for anything— anything that Akiteru might’ve caused but he acted normal. Smiling and conversing with Terushima and Akiteru like they’ve been friends for years now. Tsukishima couldn’t help but smile too and just enjoy the food even though the scrambled eggs tasted salty and he was sure that Akiteru was the one who cooked. Akiteru doesn’t cook but Tsukishima appreciated his effort even if he knew that he just volunteered to help Kuroo to talk to him. It’s on them and Tsukishima won’t ask as long as nothing feels wrong.

Akiteru and Terushima were already in the living room, talking, might be about them, or just a bunch of action movies that they were planning to watch. What’s important is that they’re smiling. It’s a good moment to look at and hoped that Akaashi and Yamaguchi were seeing this too but Tsukishima peeled his eyes off of them and returned his gaze to Kuroo who was washing the plates.

Deep contentment settles in his veins as he listens to Kuroo hum and sometimes he’ll stop and start to ramble things about flowers. Tsukishima liked how Kuroo was able to tell him everything he has in mind because it felt intimate, it felt like they’re getting closer than they already are.

The day continued with the four of them watching a movie, Akiteru leaving right after lunch which resulted in a sulky Terushima whom they needed to cheer up first before he locked himself in his room and Kuroo’s phone being bombarded by Oikawa’s texts and Tsukishima just laughing at him while already imagining what will Oikawa do to him because he just ditched his work without notice.

They ate the strawberry shortcake leftover from yesterday as they settle on the couch with Tsukishima reading with his back leaning against Kuroo’s chest. Tsukishima could feel Kuroo reading along with him, so he tried his best not to flip the pages quickly like he always do. The fingertips massaging his scalp made his afternoon even better despite his lower back hurting like a bitch.

“I’ll be back as soon as I can, okay? Maybe tomorrow? Or maybe you could swing by the shop. They’d be happy to see you,” Kuroo said as he slips on his shoes in the front door. Tsukishima was just watching him, couldn’t really tell what he’s feeling now that the day was over and Kuroo needs to go home.

“I’ll go there tomorrow,” Tsukishima said with a smile. He doesn’t have anything to do at home, maybe pester Terushima but Tsukishima knew better that he’ll be the one who’ll get pestered by Terushima endless stories.

“Perfect. See you tomorrow, Kei?” Tsukishima nodded at him and Kuroo enveloped him in a hug. It felt so genuine that Tsukishima just wants to stop Kuroo from going home but after a few seconds, their hug ended and Kuroo kissed his forehead before heading out to the door.

He stared at the door for a second, quite sad that Kuroo left but Tsukishima then shook his head and let himself be indulged in happy thoughts. There’s no need to do things fast, they could slow down, after all, they still have a lot of time, both Kuroo and him.


	15. Chapter 15

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I apologize for the late update o(TヘTo)

Days passed by with a blur and it was scaring Tsukishima. Everything felt right but he was sure that it wasn’t supposed to be like that. There must’ve been some catch behind it. He was used to the complications in his life, namely his exams in the university— but he’s graduated already, his mom’s wailing when her small business fails— but her candle business has been doing well, Terushima’s constant crying because of Akiteru— but now, he’s just all smiles, worrying over Akaashi’s safety— but he now has Bokuto and Tsukishima was sure that the guy would take care of Akaashi, scanning the crowd meticulously in Indigo to see who could he sleep with for the night— but now, Tsukishima didn’t need to do that anymore because Kuroo was with him right now, eating some unhealthy chips while watching a drama that Asami recommended the other day.

_Was life supposed to be this light?_

Tsukishima doubts but still reached down and tickled Kuroo’s neck. The older man laughed and squirmed in between Tsukishima’s legs. Kuroo’s laugh was loud and probably sounded annoying to others but Tsukishima was pleased to hear it every time.

“You look like shit right now, Kei.” Kuroo laughed, “You’re tickling me, and yet you’re not even smiling. Say, are you a robot?” Kuroo said, his head leaning on the couch, looking up at Tsukishima with his hands planted on the floor.

“Well, you look like shit every day,”

“I hate you,” Maybe if Kuroo said it with a little more press to it, Tsukishima might’ve found it threatening but the lingering smile on Kuroo’s face was telling him otherwise and Tsukishima didn’t want anything else.

When November came, Tsukishima spent more time in the flower shop that he intended to. Seeing the flowers that just usually blooms every November was exciting and everyone in the store could see how Tsukishima’s eyes light up every time he talks about it to the customers.

Whenever Kuroo’s work ends for the day, both of them would go to Tsukishima’s house and it already felt like a routine— Kuroo going to his house after work if he’s not that tired. It was easy and comfortable, like the wind that was slowly getting humid as days pass by and something was creeping in his chest whenever he looks at Kuroo from the side mirror when he’s driving.

Just like any other day, Kuroo had his arms crossed, eyes closed as he sleeps silently. He usually naps whenever they’re on their short trip from the flower shop to Tsukishima’s house.

The blonde asked him why one time and Kuroo smiled at him, saying that he wanted to rest for a bit so he’ll be able to give the attention that Tsukishima deserves when they arrived in his house.

It’s not like Tsukishima was an attention seeker and he knew that Kuroo really needs to rest after work... but it’s not like he didn’t want the attention either.

They spent the next few hours just lying on the bed, cuddling— and today, Kuroo asked Tsukishima if he could try being the small spoon just to add the memory in his life experiences. Tsukishima clearly hesitated but still agreed and ten minutes into the new position, Tsukishima wished that he just didn’t agree.

Kuroo perpetually moves and on his third wriggle in his position, the top of his head impinged on Tsukishima’s chin. Hard. And it made Tsukishima accidentally bite his lip resulting it to bleed a lot.

“Tsukki! Fuck, I’m sorry!” Kuroo said and quickly grabbed the roll of tissues at the bedside table. He shoved the overly amount of tissues straight into Tsukishima’s mouth in hurry to stop the bleeding. “Shit, shit, why isn’t it stopping?”

“Who the hell shoves tissues in someone’s mouth?” Tsukishima asked with a glare, and really, Kuroo felt the intensity of those hazel eyes. With the guilt steadfastly crawling from his toes to his head, Kuroo leaned to Tsukishima and hugged him from behind. The blonde pushed him away, still disgruntled with the taste of blood in his mouth. But Kuroo stayed and was clearly determined to hold him in his arms.

“I’m sorry, baby,” Kuroo murmured and Tsukishima felt his neck being softly brushed with Kuroo’s cheek. It sent shivers to his nape and Tsukishima wanted to curse himself when he felt that the irritation that he was feeling literal ten seconds ago was now replaced with a pleasing feeling.

Tsukishima did not say anything, instead, he just placed the tissues with blood on his nightstand before settling back into the bed. He spared a glance at Kuroo and goddamn, Kuroo looked like he was about to cry. How could he even stay mad when Kuroo’s in front of him with his face expressing how sorry he is?

With a defeated sigh, Tsukishima laid down, back facing Kuroo who was still sitting and just looking at him. “I will _always_ be the small spoon,” Tsukishima said with a small voice but it was enough for Kuroo to hear. He closed his eyes and waited. And then there were Kuroo’s arms cautiously wrapping around his waist, his chest pressing on Tsukishima’s back and he could even feel his breath against his ear.

“Yes, Kei,” Kuroo whispered. His voice low yet full of affection, almost like a cup of black coffee that tastes like diabetes. Tsukishima moved closer, happily feeling Kuroo’s fingers tracing the nonexistent pattern on his stomach.

“Spend the night here?” Tsukishima turned and faced Kuroo who nodded at him in just a second. “Okay, good.”

Things were starting to get into Tsukishima’s life— in a better way than he’s beginning to think that this was his normal now. It’s going to the flower shop with Kuroo every 5 am every Monday, waking up to Kuroo’s annoying snoring when he sleeps in Tsukishima’s bed, having two toothbrushes on the side of the sink instead of just his, and his last drawer in his cabinet being occupied by Kuroo’s clothes so he could spend the night in his house whenever he wants without thinking about whether he has clothes for work.

Things were slowly falling into their respective places, and Tsukishima liked it so much that he even tried to bake a cake for Kuroo on his birthday. It was a disaster that he just ended up buying one in a shop, and was really thankful that he didn’t burn the house down.

He asked Bokuto a week ago, with how Kuroo usually spends his birthdays. He was expecting some full-blown party shit but Bokuto smiles at him while saying that they spend it just like any other day. Kuroo doesn’t even bake a cake for himself even though he’s technically the second master of it in his eyes (Asami is still the master of all masters). Bokuto said that Kuroo wanted it to be quiet, just normal, but Tsukishima wanted it to be special.

After going home from the bakery, he quickly settles the cake inside the refrigerator first and climbed the stairs. Tsukishima did his best and used his height to ready everything. He moved his study table and even his bed. With the help of Terushima, they put all of it in the empty room that was once Yamaguchi’s. It could’ve been easier if they just used the empty room for this but Tsukishima figured that it would still be better if he’s going to use his room because hundreds of memories were lingering in there and that room was theirs.

The tent was massive, the man from the store yesterday said that ten people could fit in there and god, it was really hard to build. Tsukishima was sweating profusely for hours and his stomach was already complaining because of hunger, but Tsukishima couldn’t stop now. He just has two hours remaining before Kuroo’s work would end.

Tsukishima wiped the sweat on his neck using the back of his hand and tiptoed to place the fairy light all around the tent. He tried to smooth out the comforters on the carpet as much as he can and threw a dozen throw pillows that he bought yesterday too when he went shopping (a thing that he rarely does but would definitely do if it’s Kuroo’s birthday).

One hour before Kuroo’s arrival, Tsukishima was already cursing loudly, starting to get nervous that he wouldn’t be able to read everything before Kuroo arrives. He ran his fingers through his hair in frustration as he readies the ingredients that he needed to make curry. Tsukishima needed help but Terushima went out for their privacy while his other friends are in their jobs.

Worried and obviously distressed, Tsukishima dialed Oikawa’s number, really desperate for more time.

“Tsukishima-kun! To what do I owe your call?” As per usual, Oikawa’s voice was too cheery for someone who worked all day. Tsukishima trapped his phone between his cheek and shoulder in an awkward position and continued to chop the potatoes hurriedly.

“Oikawa-san, I need your help. Can you make Kuroo do the closing today?”

“Why though? It’s his birthday, Tsu-chan. That would be inhumane,” Tsukishima grimaced at the weird nickname and actually wanted to tell Oikawa to stop coming up with the odd nicknames every time that they talk, especially the _Kei-Kei-chan_ , Tsukishima abhors that nickname so much. But he needed Oikawa’s help so with a heavy heart, he let the nickname slide for now.

“I.. Uhm— I have a surprise for him. I need more time. I’ll go help in your shop on Thursday, I swear, just help me out on this,” Maybe Oikawa heard the desperation in his voice because he chuckled but Tsukishima had no time to be offended because he seemed to be making fun of him.

Tsukishima looked at his laptop where a video tutorial on how to cook curry was playing. Using the video as a guide, Tsukishima grabbed a handful of carrots and threw it on the pan.

“Okay, okay, you’ll probably have an hour or so—“

“Shit, thank you, Oikawa-san. I owe you one. Say hi to Makki and Matssun for me too,”

“No worries,” Tsukishima exhaled, relief washed him as he stirred the curry. “Tsukishima-kun? I’m glad that both of you are happy. Thank you for making him less of the sad person he is,”

Tsukishima smiled. He was glad too.

“Well, I’ll take that as a compliment. Thank you again, Oikawa-san,” Tsukishima replied, heart, slowly getting full with what Oikawa just said. Other people could see that Kuroo was happier and the fact that Tsukishima was the reason behind it launches fireworks in his whole being.

Tsukishima felt validated, making him smile as he finally gets satisfied with his cooking. The curry wasn’t much, really. It was nothing compared to all the desserts that Kuroo bakes for him but Tsukishima hopes, his grip on the handle of the spatula, that Kuroo would appreciate it. Tsukishima would probably ascent to heaven if he’d see the smile on Kuroo’s lips upon seeing what he prepared.

He almost ran towards the bathroom and thoroughly showered, letting the smell of sweat be replaced with the strawberry scented shower gel that both he and Kuroo loves. He blow-dried his hair and wore jeans but quickly tugged them off and just wore his newest sweat pants. Tsukishima was nervous but the three sprays of his most expensive on his body made him feel calmer.

Tsukishima took a last look at the inside of the tent. It was pretty enough to his eyes but he just wished that he was more creative. He could’ve prepared something much better but this was the best that he could do for now. He made sure to remember to carefully plan what to do for Kuroo’s birthday next year.

_Next year..._

Tsukishima tried to stop the smile on his face and went down to the kitchen to place the food on the plates and went back to the tent to settle it there along with the cake. It was a miracle that he was able to finish everything, all thanks to Oikawa. But he felt a pang of guilt knowing that he made Kuroo work more even though it’s his special day. Tsukishima nodded at himself, determined to make Kuroo happy and satisfied at the end of the day.

Five minutes into reading a new book, the doorbell rang and Tsukishima jumped off of his seat. He looked at the mirror first to check himself out. He rearranged his blonde locks and when he was satisfied, he quickly went to open the door. And there was Kuroo, smiling even though he looked tired.

“Hi, Kei—“ Tsukishima pressed his hands lightly on Kuroo’s eyes, taking the older man aback with his sudden action. Tsukishima leaned in to give him a soft kiss on the lips and almost laughed when he felt Kuroo leaning in for more when he pulled away.

“Hi, birthday boy,”

“You’re blocking my eyesight, baby, can you please move yo—“

“No, no, you’re going to walk like this. Come on, remove your shoes,” Kuroo complied and Tsukishima grabbed his sling bag and threw it on the couch. When Kuroo was finally just in his socks, Tsukishima guided him in walking, hands still covering Kuroo’s eyes.

“I might trip. You’ll need to be ready to catch me,”

“You’re not going to trip. Just— just walk slowly,”

“This is hard, Kei. Can’t I just close my eyes?” Kuroo huffed.

“No, I don’t trust you,”

“I can’t believe why am I in a relationship with you,”

“You asked for me so you’ll get me. I warned you months ago. It was your decision,”

“The best decision I’ve ever made,” Tsukishima’s face automatically turned crimson red. Saying sugary statements have always been Kuroo’s hobby whenever they’re together but somehow, Tsukishima still blushes at his every remark. It might probably take him years before he could get used to it and Tsukishima was more than ready for those incoming years.

They were able to surpass the difficulty of the stairs and Tsukishima started to feel the nervousness once again. He would be really, really happy if Kuroo would at least like it a little bit, but if he didn’t— Tsukishima almost frowned at the thought— it’s okay. There’s always next time.

“So you do have a surprise for me,” Kuroo said happily making Tsukishima kick the back of his knee. He knew that it was obvious ever since he chose to cover Kuroo’s eyes but Tsukishima tried to console himself and tell that it’s okay, it’s not even ruined yet.

“Shut up,” He hissed and slowly turned the doorknob, opening it carefully. He guided Kuroo and made him enter the tent. They both shivered at the sudden drop of the temperature inside the tent, because of Tsukishima’s air conditioner. The weather itself was already cold but Tsukishima thought that it would be a lot better if it’s colder. He certainly didn’t want to waste the money that he spent on the unnecessary thick comforters that he bought. “Okay, here you go,”

His hands were literally shaking and maybe sweating a little as he removed them from Kuroo’s eyes. He carefully watched his expressions and saw how Kuroo’s mouth slowly went agape as he looks around. The fairy lights were bright and the golden light was engulfing the whole tent. Tsukishima just stared at him, taking in the view of Kuroo and the golden light on his skin.

“Happy birthday, Tetsurou,” Tsukishima said then slipped his hand onto Kuroo’s and held it tightly, giving it a little squeeze. There was still no response from Kuroo and Tsukishima readied himself for Kuroo’s proclamation of disappointment to him.

_It’s okay, no need to be emotional. It’s not that pretty, anyways. We could still swing by the restaurant close to the train station if he—_

“A tent, Tsukki? Lights? And all these pillows?” Kuroo rambled and looked at Tsukishima. He held his face and presses their foreheads together. “I love it. Thank you, Kei. Oh god, I really love it and I love you, Kei,” Kuroo kissed him and Tsukishima could feel his smile through their kiss. It was slow and sensual, just their lips moving together lazily. Tsukishima was sure that it was what he needed in his life. Kuroo liked it— no, he loved it. It was more than enough for Tsukishima. All of his efforts weren’t thrown into the trash. It was appreciated.

Upon pulling away, Tsukishima grabs the cake and lighted the candle. He motioned Kuroo to come close and they sat and faced the cake that was placed in a coffee table that he borrowed from the living room. Kuroo threw him a glance before clasping his hands together and muttering a wish. Tsukishima just watched him wish and Kuroo looked undeniably peaceful. The lit candle was now nowhere to be found as soon as Kuroo blew it. Kuroo threw himself into Tsukishima, causing them to fall on the soft ground.

“Thank you,” Kuroo mumbled on his ear then peppered Tsukishima’s face with kisses. Tsukishima couldn’t help but giggle despite Kuroo’s weight on top of his. Along with the kisses, Kuroo was showering him with praises and his non-stop expressions of gratitude. Maybe Tsukishima already went to heaven for a split second earlier and just returned to earth because Kuroo was not just smiling, he literally looked like he was on cloud 9.

When he finally pushed Kuroo, he brought out the curry with his head held high. Kuroo didn’t need to know how shy he is right now because Tsukishima was sure that it would only result in being teased.

“You cooked for me?” Kuroo exaggeratedly gasped and Tsukishima’s hand quickly flew to his arm to slap it. “Time to see if I’m going to divorce you or not,” Kuroo wiggled his eyebrows, and Tsukishima’s grip on his shirt got tighter. He wasn’t great at cooking. All he could do was the basic ones and cooking curry was the most complicated dish that he ever did. He didn’t care, as long as his effort would make it taste good.

“Stop agonizing me, Kuroo. Just eat it,” Tsukishima groaned and acted like he’s about to snatch the spoon from him. He felt the urge to shove the spoon in Kuroo’s throat when Kuroo just laughed at him and even moved in slow motion. Tsukishima openly glared at Kuroo and reminded himself that it was Kuroo’s birthday so he should at least not hurt him today. But he could tomorrow.

“Oh, is Tsukki nervous?” Kuroo mocked and Tsukishima asked for help from all of the gods to help him maintain his sanity and just not murder Kuroo in front of him. “Are you? Are—“

Tsukishima kissed Kuroo across the table. It was just the only way that he could think of to shut him without kicking him. In the middle of the heat surging kiss, Tsukishima grabbed the spoon away from Kuroo and quickly scooped some of the food, and as soon as they pulled away, he held both of Kuroo’s cheeks with a single hand and forced him to open his mouth. With Kuroo’s eyes widened, Tsukishima pushed the spoon into his mouth and waited for his reaction.

Time never felt so slow as he waited for him but all of the nervousness in his body was replaced with ease when Kuroo did a thumbs up with both of his hands as he continuously chewed. Tsukishima wanted to clap and tell himself that, _hey, that’s not so bad, your boyfriend loved it._

Definitely elated because of reaching his goal, heck maybe even surpassing it, and really hungry, Tsukishima arranged their foods and the two men started to dig in. Just like their usual meals together, they talked without leaving a single second silent. Kuroo told him about his work and how he wanted to kill Oikawa earlier because he had the audacity to made him do the closing when it’s his birthday. Tsukishima just laughed at him but still said that it was his fault. Kuroo rolled his eyes at him so Tsukishima pressed a gentle kiss on Kuroo’s cheek in an attempt to remove the frown on his face. It worked like magic and Tsukishima felt even nice.

When they finished eating, Tsukishima pushed Kuroo into the bathroom and made him shower as he washes the dishes. As much as he loved Kuroo, he wouldn’t want to cuddle with him if he’s still in his work clothes from a whole day of working. This also gave him time to grab his gift inside his cabinet, almost tripping because it wasn’t really that light and the pillows were everywhere.

Kuroo entered their well-lit haven, with his hair still damp. Tsukishima wanted to gawk at him. His hair was down and he looked good even without the effort, it’s criminal. Kuroo laid down and groaned in satisfaction because of the soft comforters and pillows. Tsukishima knew that he was already tired but the day should not end without him opening his gift. He pulled Kuroo up and made him sit, pointing at the box covered in white gift wrapper with a maroon ribbon on top. Kuroo eyed him the crawled a bit to get the box. He slowly opened it and Tsukishima swore that he saw his eyes sparkled.

“This is..” Kuroo trailed off, eyes still fixated on the box. “Holy shit, Kei,” Tsukishima knew. It was expensive but it didn’t matter. It’s for Kuroo. “Thank you!” Kuroo hugged him and for the second time for today, they fell on the ground. “You didn’t need to buy that—“

“Shut up, just be thankful,” Kuroo nodded and kissed him with such affection that it melted Tsukishima on the spot. The Artisan stand mixer was worth it.

They ended up making out and it eventually turned into the birthday sex that Kuroo was joking about yesterday. Their sex for the past months didn’t felt like just fucking, it felt more like making love and Tsukishima loved it.

Gentle and slow kisses were shared. Tsukishima rolled his hips gently on top of Kuroo and god, Tsukishima would do everything for this sight. Tsukishima was beautifully presented for him, his blonde hair a pretty mess, pink and plump lips, mouth slightly open, releasing wanton moans and cries of pleasure, eyes closed in pure bliss, his neck exposed and splashed with the familiar colors of pink from Kuroo, his body milky white and so soft, covered in a thin sheen of sweat and he was riding him earnestly with all the fairy lights behind him, showering him with the unneeded support to make him more beautiful because Tsukishima Kei was already the most attractive person that Kuroo ever met.

They chased their high, both saying nothing but each other’s names. Tsukishima splayed his hands on Kuroo’s chest as he rode him through both of their orgasms. Tsukishima fell on top of Kuroo, his belly feeling fluttery and his heart now beating calmly as they try to regain their breath.

“Hey,” Tsukishima said, softly biting Kuroo’s neck that made the older man squirm and chuckle. “Happy birthday,”

“Thank you, Kei,” Tsukishima didn’t answer, instead he pressed his cheek on Kuroo’s chest and listened to his heartbeat. He knew that Kuroo already knows what’s in his mind and he didn’t need to say it over and over because he intends to just show it starting now until the next years.

—

December came and so is winter. Akiteru visits their home more often, always making Tsukishima cautious because Terushima really isn’t the type of person who likes to keep things in secret. But Tsukishima hasn’t seen anything hideous— so far, so good. Kuroo has gotten closer to his brother too, and Tsukishima wasn’t really sure if he’s supposed to consider it as a good thing because the chaos in his house doubled. They were always laughing and talking. The two even tried to make the famous omurice the other day. They used three dozens eggs yet they still failed. Everything ended up looking like scrambled eggs and Akaashi happily teased them.

Bokuto looked troubled when Kuroo asked him to back him up but then Akaashi held his hand and made him stay behind him. Tsukishima just sat on the couch, watching their useless and non-sense bickering. They looked like kids and Tsukishima almost made a face when he realized that he and Hinata might’ve looked like them too whenever they’re shouting at each other. Tsukishima's face palmed himself, getting secretly ashamed of his past actions and swore that he would never do it again.

Things were going smoothly. On Mondays and Thursdays, Tsukishima goes to the flower shop and spend the whole day helping them. He didn’t know why was he doing it in the first place when he doesn’t even get paid. Maybe it was the flowers, or maybe because he gets to hang out with his friends in there, or maybe it was just to be with Kuroo. Tsukishima didn’t dwell deeply on it because the reason was not that important, what's important is that he’s there, happy.

On Tuesdays, Tsukishima spends his time solely in his house while reading books and if his eyes finally get tired, he would barge in Terushima’s room and watch him paint as they talk about random things. On Wednesdays, Kuroo bakes for him that always leaves Tsukishima full and satisfied. They usually sleep from noon until the sun was setting already. This would make Tsukishima wake up in a good mood then Kuroo will help Akaashi to cook their dinner. Bokuto sometimes goes too and their dinner would be more than loud. Kuroo spends the night in Tsukishima’s room and they would both go to Kuroo’s work— that is almost Tsuksihima’s too, together.

Tsukishima’s Fridays were always spent lazily. He waters the plants in the garden and eats the leftovers of the pastries that Kuroo made. He sleeps the whole afternoon and reads. When he gets tired, he goes to the store and buys the groceries. Terushima sometimes goes with him and they would always go to Akaashi’s cafe before going home, pestering him without any concrete reason.

Saturdays meant club day. They would all prepare themselves and go to Indigo. Sometimes Kuroo and Bokuto join them but Akaashi and Terushima were Tsukishima’s permanent companions. He thought that it would be weird going into Indigo now that the three of them are already in a relationship but nothing really changed— well, a few things, yes. They still dance under the neon lights but instead of strangers, the three of them are just dancing with each other. Tsukishima liked dancing with his friends even though Terushima and Akaashi always end up rolling their bodies on each other and they would erupt in laughter.

Every Sunday, Tsukishima video calls Asami and checks on her. She was doing great and always enthusiastically tells her son how her business is going. Their call always ends up with a couple of take care and I love yous. When afternoons come, Tsukishima and his friends from high school up until now go somewhere. Their options have always been the mall, the park, or one of their houses. Hinata, Yamaguchi, and Yachi share the things that happen in their work. Kageyama just slips into the conversation from time to time while Tsukishima just listens because he’s jobless and Hinata seems to love pointing it out every minute.

Yamaguchi goes home with Tsukishima or to Yachi’s and spends the night there. Sometimes it’s just the two of them and their dinosaur documentaries and sometimes it’s the four of them huddled on the couch while watching a romance movie. Tsukishima exchanges a few messages with Kuroo who was also having his mandatory bro time with Bokuto every Sunday night. Everything felt right and familiar and it gives the light buzzing feeling in his chest. It felt like home.

—

It was cold and Tsukishima tugged the duvets that he brought from his room to the couch, up to his chest to at least feel warmer because the heater wasn’t really useful. Tsukishima usually liked this, freezing cold as the snow falls outside. It was a shame that snow never really piled up in Tokyo like it was in Miyagi. He returns his eyes to his book and continued reading, not until he heard knocks on the door. He pushed himself to stand, still wrapped in the pearl white duvet, and opened the door.

“Hi, Tsukishima Kei,” Kuroo said and opened his arms. Tsukishima leaned onto him and Kuroo’s arms were automatically wrapped around him. Kuroo was warm, warm, warm, but the wind from outside was cold, too cold.

“Go in, it’s too cold out there,” Tsukishima made way for Kuroo and went back to the couch. He waited for Kuroo to sit beside him which the latter did right after he removed his shoes and coat.

“I really hate snow,” Kuroo groaned as soon as he sat down. Tsukishima reached for his hair and tussled it, removing the snow. “I missed you,”

“Likewise,” Tsukishima kissed Kuroo’s temple and leaned onto him. He closed his eyes and readied himself to bring the words out of his mouth. It wasn’t even something bad but Tsukishima felt like it’s too hard to say. “Uhm, so, Mom called me earlier. She asked me to spend Christmas with her,” They’ve always done that. Tsukishima never spent even a single Christmas without his mother and Akiteru. It was something that they always do every year no matter what happens. Tsukishima’s Christmas has always been reserved for his family.

“I already know that, Tsukki. Your mom told me that the three of you always celebrates Christmas together. So, when are you leaving?” Tsukishima swallowed. Hard.

“Well, the day after tomorrow,” He said and Kuroo quickly sat straight, eyes widening at the information. Tsukishima sighed. It wasn’t easy to tell him that he’s leaving a lot earlier than he expected.

“Noooo! It’s just— it’s just the second week of December!” Kuroo exclaimed and Tsukishima felt bad. He didn’t want to leave that early too but Asami asked nicely and promised him that she’ll cook everything that he’s going to ask.

“Sorry,” Tsukishima breathes. “But I’ll probably be back by 26,” He assured and let his hands massage Kuroo’s scalp.

“Okay,” Kuroo said but his lips were still in a pout. Tsukishima grabbed his face and tried to make him smile forcefully. Two weeks. Tsukishima was sad too. It will be the longest time that they’ll not see each other since they officially got together and it was already making the both of then gloomy just by thinking about it.

“What are your plans for Christmas though?”

“I might go and visit Mom. It’s been a while since I saw her. Then— oh! I have an appointment with Yaku two days after that,” Tsukishima’s eyes narrowed upon hearing the foreign name and moved closer to Kuroo to study his face because who the fuck is Yaku?

“Yaku?”

“Wait, I haven’t told you yet?” Tsukishima’s heart started to bang loudly in his chest. Told what? Is Kuroo already tired of him? Are they going to— “I lost a bet with Bo the other day and he went wild, he wanted me to get a tattoo,”

“Tattoo?” And who’s Yaku?

“We asked our neighbor, remember the five-year-old? The cute one?” Tsukishima nodded. Kuroo and Bokuto seemed to love the kid more than they love life itself. “We were painting rocks at that time and were arguing whose rock was better so we made a bet and asked the kid. He picked Bo’s,”

Tsukishima was dumbfounded but not really surprised. Kuroo and Bokuto always manage to do something that surprises him. Their friendship was... Tsukishima couldn’t really explain it and he’s pretty sure that Akaashi couldn’t too. And tattoos? Just because of rocks?

“You two are so dumb. And painting rocks? You’re still not tired with that?”

“Of course not! It’s fun! We should try it tomorrow,” Kuroo beamed but Tsukishima quickly shook his head. He couldn’t even draw and Kuroo would like him to paint? No, no. “Oh come on, Kei,”\

“Who’s Yaku first?” Maybe Tsukishima shouldn’t asked that because Kuroo was now stifling a laugh and his face was getting red because of suppressing his laugh. He was only able to hold it for five seconds and then his laugh invaded the living room. Tsukishima just crossed his arms and side-eyed him.

“Are you jealous?” Kuroo asked, obviously teasing and it was working because Tsukishima was really getting shy and annoyed because again, who fuck is Yaku? “Tsukki, he’s my classmate in high school and a tattoo artist now. There’s nothing going on, I swear,”

Tsukishima made a sound but he was more than relieved. He trusts Kuroo but sometimes, his fear haunts him. He didn’t want Kuroo to leave him but he didn’t want him to be caged with someone like him. With this, Tsukishima made a promise to himself, if Kuroo wants to leave, he would let him, but he intends to keep Kuroo as long as he still wants him.

“Joking aside, we’re you really jealo—“

“I’m accompanying you to your appointment,” Tsukishima blurted which made Kuroo laugh again. His laugh was really loud and it sounded obnoxious. The fact that he’s making fun of Tsukishima wasn’t even funny but he watched him through his lenses and slowly and carefully take in the sight because Kuroo looked really happy and it was what Tsukishima wanted.

When the day came, Kuroo went with Tsukishima to the train station and the blonde hugged him tight before he tapped his ticket and went inside the waiting area. To say that Kuroo looked like a sad and depressed cat when Tsukishima spared a last glance at him was an understatement. He sat at his designated seat and got ready for the next two weeks without seeing Kuroo.

Days pass by and Asami looked really happy to be with her youngest son. Tsukishima tried to talk to her more and his Mom seemed more elated than usual. Tsukishima thought that she must’ve been really happy to be with him for two whole weeks since he went to college. Akiteru came home too three days before Christmas and Asami just even got happier. Tsukishima was kind of happy too knowing that he’s with his family.

He spent the nights just lying on his bed, headphones on his ears but instead of music, he was listening to Kuroo’s rambling about what happened to his day. Kuroo insisted that they should call at least twice a day or else he’ll die because of missing him and Tsukishima turned it down but upon realizing that they really won’t be seeing each other for two weeks, he gave in.

Kuroo slips in a few messages throughout the day and forced Tsukishima to send a couple of pictures. He then came to the conclusion that Kuroo, was indeed, just helplessly clingy.

Everyone celebrated Christmas with their family except Terushima who crashed into the Tsukishima’s solemn Christmas eve. Nonetheless, Asami welcomed him with open arms and was really, really delighted to know that finally Akiteru and Terushima were together. The food was still the best that Tsukishima ever had and they even exchanged gifts and took pictures from Asami’s Polaroid with big smiles.

When he came back to Tokyo, everyone exchanged their gifts and as per usual, Yamaguchi gave everyone something identical. Last year were socks, this year were hoodies that have their name embroidered at the hem. Akaashi gave him a necklace, Terushima’s gift was a bunch of mini paintings of the sky, and Hinata’s was a cotton shirt with a printed cartoon dinosaur on it. Yachi gave him a mug designed with her own adorable drawing of Tsukishima. Kageyama gave everyone his gifts with a straight face and when they opened it, roar of complaints was made as they all threw the piece of face towel at him, making Kageyama shield himself while laughing which was really rare.

Their small gathering ended with Hinata boasting all the gifts that he received like a child. Tsukishima quickly made his not-so-kind remarks out of nature because every time that Hinata opens his mouth, there’s this feeling that he just needs to say something. The noise of Hinata shouting at him, Akaashi backing his son up, Yachi stopping them, Terushima and Yamaguchi laughing at them and Kageyama’s quietness was all familiar and Tsukishima’s was filled with euphoria.

The next day, Tsukishima went to the flower shop and gave his gifts to Matsukawa, Hanamaki, Oikawa, and even to Iwaizumi. Just like any other day, they welcomed Tsukishima as if he was already a part of their little family and this never fails to warm Tsukishima’s heart.

“Where’s mine?” Kuroo asked with a grin, his hands on his hips while narrowing his eyes at Tsukishima.

“Give me mine first,” Tsukishima said while taking out the food that Oikawa bought for all of them for lunch.

“I’ll give it to you later,”

“Then you’ll get yours later too,” Kuroo huffed at him and Tsukishima didn’t mind but both of them were actually looking forward to it.

They decided to have dinner first at the nearest restaurant before going to Kuroo’s tattoo appointment and Tsukishima was getting nervous without even knowing why. Was it because he’s finally seeing who is this Yaku or was it because it’s his first time to meet someone from Kuroo’s past? What if he’ll say that Kuroo deserves better than a lanky quiet blonde who looked bored all the time? What if—

“You’re thinking so much I could almost hear it,” Kuroo said as they walk then shivered afterward because it was snowing again. Tsukishima said nothing and just adjusted his ear muffs. They walked beside each other and it felt like forever until they reached an establishment.

“Ready?” Kuroo asked and Tsukishima almost snorted.

“I should be the one asking you that,” Kuroo looked terrified and nervous but he still tried his best to put up an unwavering facade of braveness. Tsukishima wanted to tease him to get back to all the times that he made fun of him but stopped himself because Kuroo seemed to be freaked out than he imagined. When Kuroo did not push the glass door, Tsukishima moved forward and did it, welcoming themselves on their own as they prance in the lobby like area.

“Good eveni— Kuroo-san!” A tall grey-haired man that was sitting at the reception stood up and waved his hand vigorously at Kuroo which Kuroo returned but a lot more composed. “10:00, right?”

“Yes, and uh, Lev, this is Tsukishima,” The blonde’s breath suddenly stopped. Is this guy from Kuroo’s past too? Shit. Tsukishima bowed his head and said a quiet greeting. What was happening to him? He was never the type of person who cares about what others think of him but he’s now almost quivering, his nerves failing slowly as he stands in front of Kuroo’s friend.

“Nice to meet you, Tsukishima-kun! I’m Kuroo-san’s kouhai when we were in high school— well, until now, I think,” Lev mumbled and Tsukishima felt his arms being squeezed gently by Kuroo then gave him a reassuring smile. Tsukishima somehow relaxed and Lev asked them to sit and wait for a while since they came in a little early.

Lev was surprisingly a chatterbox, telling Tsukishima everything that he knows about Kuroo like he already knows that they’re not just mere friends and it’s alright if he’ll say all of it to Tsukishima. They waited for fifteen minutes that was just full of talking until a girl walked out in one of the rooms with a guy behind her. They talked for a while and the girl was on her way outside.

“Yaku!” Kuroo shouted that made the small guy flinch. Tsukishima shifted in his seat.

_So that is Yaku._

“I’m so happy that I’m not seeing your face again for a long time after this,” Yaku said, eyes bored and Tsukishima liked him already.

“Don’t be like that! I’m your bestest friend!”

“I’ll tell Bokuto,” Yaku said and Kuroo looked horrified. He moved his eyes towards Tsukishima and fuck, he froze on the spot. Kuroo noticed this and wrapped an arm around his shoulder.

“My boyfriend, Tsukishima, and hey, that midget is Yaku, the owner of this,” Tsukishima saw Yaku’s nostrils flare at Kuroo’s remark but threw them aside and they both bowed at each other accompanied with small greetings.

“It’s already 10 though, should we start?” Yaku asked and Kuroo stood up. Yaku went into one of the rooms first then Kuroo held Tsukishima’s hand. He’s was without a doubt, nervous to death and Tsukishima could see it clearly in his eyes.

“You okay waiting here? You can go home first if you want,”

“It’s okay, I’ll wait for you and I’m still getting the cotton candy that you promised me earlier,” Tsukishima smiled and he saw Kuroo relaxed a bit.

“Okay then. I’ll be back,” Tsukishima nodded at him then Kuroo kissed his forehead and went after Yaku.

Tsukishima was left with Lev and just like what he feared, Lev talked too much, too, too much that Tsukishima couldn’t emphasize it more. He just made some responsive hums every now and then and he sometimes gives short sentences to at least let Lev know that he’s listening. He could already feel that Hinata and Lev would get along just fine if they met each other.

Tsukishima was more than thankful when another customer came in and Lev’s attention was moved to the other person. He fished out his phone and scrolled through his almost empty social media. Getting bored with the dryness of his feed, Tsukishima tried to play the games that Kuroo downloaded in his phone last week. It was just full of soldiers trying to kill each other by shooting and shit, Tsukishima almost yelped when his character met one of his enemies. Stressed with how the game works and with his lack of shooting skills, he gave up and just closed his eyes.

He dozed off and when he woke up, his eyes were shot open, mind still processing where he is. Upon remembering that he was in a tattoo studio thanks to Lev’s presence, he sighed and lightly bumped his head on the wall. He’s been asleep for an hour and a half, yet Kuroo and Yaku were still in the room. He didn’t have any idea that tattoos were made for hours.

Tsukishima spent the next minutes with his eyes closed, pretending that he’s asleep to prevent Lev from talking to him. Lev was an okay guy but Tsukishima wasn’t ready for his endless stories. He let his mind wander guessing what kind of tattoo did Kuroo get. Kuroo mentioned that what he painted on that certain rock will be used as Yaku’s reference.

“You can remove the bandage tomorrow, after 24 hours. Wash it with soap, antimicrobial, as much as possible, and make sure to apply antibacterial ointment thrice a day after washing it. Pat dry, don’t rub. Don’t expose it to sunlight and don’t use hot water, for the time being, it’ll fade the ink. It might scab but that’s perfectly normal. Be patient, but the healing will probably just last for a week, the tattoo’s not that big. If it did not heal properly, call me or you could go straight to the doctors,”

“Fascinating, huh? Yaku-san’s coolness always triples whenever he talks about tattoos,” Lev whispered and Tsukishima was wondering when did Lev went to him but he just nodded. It was cool and Tsukishima found himself immersed with what Yaku was saying.

“I’ll make Lev send you the aftercare guide to be sure,” Yaku said and Kuroo nodded at him, going straight to the counter where Lev was supposed to be. Lev quickly went when Yaku shouted at him and arranged the payment with Kuroo. Tsukishima waited patiently for Kuroo and before he knew it, Kuroo was already saying goodbye to them.

“See you around, Kuroo-san and Tsukishima-kun!” Lev said energetically and Tsukishima just slightly bowed at them. They walked and the snow was still continuously falling, just like what Tsukishima likes.

“How was it?” He asked, eyeing Kuroo’s wrist wrapped in a bandage.

“The needles almost killed me but it’s just itchy now,” Tsukishima hummed in response, his hands also itching to grab Kuroo’s hand. “Thank you for waiting,”

“’s fine,”

“But I don’t think that there’s still cotton candy around here,” Kuroo looked at his watch, “Yeah, probably none, it’s already midnight,” Tsukishima frowned, kind of sad since he’s been looking forward to that cotton candy. But it’s not Kuroo’s fault but that doesn’t mean that he couldn’t kick him still, so he did and Kuroo groaned loudly. “I just got my tattoo! It still hurts!”

“I kicked your leg, not your wrist,” Tsukishima deadpanned.

“Both are parts of my body, so same thing,” Kuroo said and Tsukishima rolled his eyes at how illogical it was. He walked faster but then stopped in his tracks and faced Kuroo.

“What did you get?” Tsukishima asked, pointing at his bandaged left wrist. Kuroo fumbled for his phone and opened it. Tsukishima grabbed the phone when Kuroo gave it to him. He stared at the picture and was expecting a silly kind of tattoo. Maybe a cat or something connected to chemistry because Kuroo is an unpredictable guy. But instead, he saw the familiar and soothing sight of lavender thin petals. It was small, probably two inches in Tsukishima’s estimation.

“Aster,” Tsukishima said, still staring at the screen of Kuroo’s phone.

“Yeah, your birth flower,” Kuroo said with a small voice as if he was suddenly getting shy. Tsukishima’s heart was loudly beating that he could almost hear it. It was pretty. S _o, so pretty_ that it got Tsukishima thinking what the hell did Bokuto painted on that rock that the kid still chose his because god, this is so pretty. “You like it?”

“Yes,”

_So much that you don’t even know how much I am in love with it right now. God, I’m in love with you, Tetsurou._

“Then I’m-“ Tsukishima grabbed his wrist and they went back to the path that they just left. “Wait, where are we going? The shops are already closed, there’s no cotton candy around, Kei,”

“We’re going back to that studio,” Their strides were big. Shoes leaving prints on the snow.

“What? Why?” Tsukishima knew that acting out in a whim wasn’t good but at that moment, he didn’t care. Taking risks brings something good after all.

“I’m setting my own appointment too,”


	16. Chapter 16

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> We finally reached the end! And I'm already telling you all that it is lengthyyyy  
> Happy reading, everyone! ♡ (⇀ 3 ↼)

Tsukishima’s life was rapidly being invaded by Kuroo but seeing his last drawer full of Kuroo’s old shirts and work clothes, the new pair of indoor slippers placed under his bed, his pillows smelling like combined flowers, the refrigerator always full of desserts, he just couldn’t bring himself to complain. It was the little things that make him smile. He always fails to suppress his smile whenever Kuroo throws his head back against the backrest of the couch and just sleeps 70% of the day when it’s Wednesday. Tsukishima felt shallow at first, being satisfied by just watching someone sleeping but really, there’s something about a sleeping Kuroo even though he snores non-stop.

Kuroo also seemed to like fish more than anything and likes his mackerel pike really, really salty that Tsukishima couldn’t even stand it but still searches videos on how to cook it. And Kuroo seemed to hate Tokyo so much at the moment since it was still cold even though Tokyo seldom experiences snow every winter. Tsukishima stamps it in his mind with a subtle chuckle _. Just like a cat_ , he thought.

He felt like they were already old with how their dinner is always in one of their houses because they’re too lazy to book a reservation and drive towards the restaurant. They even prefer to just stay in every Kuroo’s day-offs and spend the whole day on the bed, sprawled out lazily with books in each of their hand. A cup of hot coffee every morning and night with Kuroo felt too nice that Tsukishima feels the urge every time to drink another cup to prolong their coffee time but he would bite back a smile when he realizes that he didn’t have to do that because it will happen again tomorrow, the next day, for the next weeks, months, and maybe years.

He was living his life that he totally forgot the things that once haunted him. But on a crisp day in the middle of February, Tsukishima was staring at an envelope that was placed on his mailbox early in the morning. No one really sends letters to him, just that only person. It took him hours before Tsukishima had the courage to open up the envelope and he almost scoffed when he saw that it’s just printed.

_Belated happy birthday_ , the letter said. Tsukishima read the whole thing and tried to stomach it even if nausea is already lingering in him. _I sent my gift._ He chuckles, voice full of bitterness that it sounded scary. He was sure that his bank account was full again and Tsukishima hates it whenever he sees numerous zeroes.

_5 months late._

And Tsukishima wasn’t even sure if his dad even remembers the exact date. He has been dealing with this for years now and it shouldn’t matter. It really shouldn’t but Tsukishima found himself curling up, clenched fist almost tearing the paper, tears continuously falling. He hated himself for crying over something that didn’t even deserve his tears. He hated how he feels pathetic, more to himself than to his father.

The thought of finally being happy slowly slipped off of his mind. There’s no way that he would ever feel peace when his father still greets him happy birthday months late after his real birthday. The money was one thing, and for years, Tsukishima made himself believe that it’s alright to spend all that money. It was given to him, after all. But now that a new large sum of money was wired into his account again, it felt horrible. It was supposed to make him feel happy but all that he’s feeling is hollowness.

Tsukishima hugged his knees tighter, and let himself cry more. It’s okay. He could do it like this. He could cry for a little longer and compose himself later. He could be vulnerable as long as he’s alone and when his friends are finally home, he would put on his stoic face and maybe laugh along with them when they tell them the crazy things that they did for the day. He’s used to this and Tsukishima has gotten a long way by doing this.

An hour passed, or maybe hours, Tsukishima didn’t know but what’s important was that he needed to wash his face and do some cold compress to relieve the puffiness of his eyes and Tsukishima Kei would be good as new.

In the middle of pressing the cold wet cloth on his eyelids, the front door opened and Tsukishima’s favorite human for months now appeared. Kuroo was mumbling something while removing his shoes, probably complaining about the cold again. Tsukishima quickly threw the cloth to the sink, not really checking if it really ended up where he wanted it to be.

“Kei! I missed you so much!” Kuroo said and rushed towards Tsukishima to hug him.

“Stop that, you sound like Akiteru,” Kuroo huffed but still hugged him tighter. It made the blonde’s nerves calm down. Kuroo gives the best hugs and no one can change Tsukishima’s mind. Kuroo pulled away from him but he was now gripping Tsukishima’s arms while looking at his face. He was smiling, but then it slowly turned into a frown. “Why?”

“You forgot to use eye drops,”

“What?”

“Your eyes are all red, Tsukki,” _Ah shit._ “You want to talk about it?” Kuroo asked with a soft voice but Tsukishima couldn’t answer him. Kuroo already knew everything but it still feels hard to talk to him about his father. Yamaguchi is the only person that he talks to whenever this certain problem arises. But Yamaguchi is far away now and in front of him was Kuroo, the person that he trusts too. “Nah, it’s okay, you don’t need to force yourself. Just know that I’m always here, okay?”

“Yeah,” Tsukishima whispered. He wanted to thoroughly open up to Kuroo but he’s right, he doesn’t need to force himself because Kuroo would wait for him, just like what he always does.

“What should I cook for dinner?”

“No! I’ll cook,” Tsukishima said and marched towards the kitchen. He was so ready for this. He spent at least 30 minutes just to watch five videos on how to make the perfect grilled salted mackerel pike. Kuroo chuckled at him and sat at the stool, propping his elbows at the counter, eyes watching Tsukishima as he awkwardly moves to cut the fish but he knew that the blonde was doing his best.

“What time will Akaashi and Terushima be back?” Kuroo asked that made Tsukishima look at him. He cocked his head and tried to remember their usual time of arrival, from work or from their boyfriends because it does vary, really. Especially Akaashi who will go home sometimes with his big boyfriend clinging onto him.

“Probably 8? If not then— hey, no,” Tsukishima said after seeing the familiar grin of Kuroo. The one that gives off the _I want to fuck you on the counter_ vibes. Kuroo whined loudly and started to shake his legs that resulted in the stool to make those weird creaking sounds that Tsukishima hates.

“Come on, Kei~” The sounds stopped and Kuroo was grinning at him. It was tempting but Tsukishima was really in the mood for cooking tonight.

“No,” He said and returned his focus on rubbing salt on the fish but then the creaking sounds returned. He shot a glare at Kuroo who was smiling sweetly at him while shaking his whole body in his seat, making the sounds almost screeching.

“You’re fucking bullying me into it. I fucking hate you,” Kuroo did not reply, instead, he smiled even more and God knows how much Tsukishima wants to stab him with the skewers. “You just came back from work. I don’t know how many germs are there in your clothes,”

“Tsukishima, there’s this thing called shower—“

“Shut up and let me cook in peace. If this fails I’ll end your life,”

“And if it tastes great?” Tsukishima knew what exactly Kuroo was doing and he was obediently walking into that trap. The only trap that Tsukishima would gladly walk into.

“I’ll think about it,” Kuroo celebrated and stood up, giving a kiss on the blonde’s cheek. Tsukishima rolled his eyes as he carefully sticks the skewer into the lean fish while Kuroo ran up to his room to take a shower. He could only shake his head while smiling at the thought of Kuroo still getting overly excited about sleeping with him even though they’ve been doing it for months already.

He was carefully grilling the fish, 5 minutes on each side until it looks crispy and soft all at once. The color was becoming a beautiful golden brown and Tsukishima was already proud of it. It was a long process though since he needed to cook for four people, or maybe six if Bokuto would come because that guy is such a huge eater.

Half an hour later, Tsukishima was finally finished along with Asami’s recipe of miso soup that he personally asked on Christmas. He readied the table and scooped a plentiful amount of rice on Kuroo’s bowl and just half of it on his. He packed his friends’ share of food in a lunch box and placed it on the refrigerator.

As if on cue, Kuroo came down, all fresh and Tsukishima felt the urge to hug him but first things first. He needed to taste his cooking and celebrate if it tastes good. He would even congratulate himself in the mirror if he did succeed.

“Ugh, you make the best pike, Kei!” Kuroo shouted and it might’ve warmed Tsukishima’s heart if he was eating it.

“You haven’t even tasted it,” Tsukishima deadpanned and the both of them sat, ready to judge the food. “Itadakimasu,” The clasped their hands together and Kuroo quickly grabbed his chopsticks. Tsukishima watched Kuroo with nervousness but it all fades away when he saw that familiar and soothing smile of Kuroo that he unintentionally does when he’s eating something good.

“It’s really good, babe,” Tsukishima wanted to roll his eyes to somehow hide the faint blush on his cheeks. He just hummed as a response and started to dig in too. True to Kuroo's words, it really did taste good and Tsukishima was more than proud of himself.

Kuroo started to talk about his day and Tsukishima just sat there, watching and listening to him. The older man started to gush about how pretty the small plants that are being sold in the flower shop. Oikawa recently invested in selling small plants as well as succulents. Tsukishima made sure to free up everything tomorrow so he’ll have the time to go there and tolerate Oikawa’s weird nicknames and Hanamaki and Matsukawa’s teases about it.

“My favorite was the winter aconite! The flowers are so pretty and it’s sooo yellow and I’m seriously staring at it whenever it’s my break. It blooms whenever winter’s about to end,” Kuroo said and Tsukishima could actually see his eyes lighting up because of that certain plant. Kuroo continued to eat after talking more about the plants and the bouquets that he made for the day.

Tsukishima was just staring at him, his heart light, tummy happy, but his chest was swelling with something more, something ugly. Kuroo’s nonstop stories always make his mood better, it never failed him. He is happy now though, but Tsukishima knew that it was because of that. It will always be because of that.

“I literally cackled when Makki tried to make a cascade bouquet to prove Mattsun that he could do it better but he failed—”

“Hey, Kuroo? Can I tell you something first?” He felt bad for cutting him off when he looked so eager to tell him something but Tsukishima just needed to let it out, tell it to Kuroo even though the man isn’t requiring him to. Kuroo stopped talking and stared at him before slowly nodding. “My father.. he sent me a letter. Well, his secretary might’ve written that or what, I don’t even care anymore but—” Tsukishima’s voice broke and suddenly, he was sobbing. He almost found it funny when he thought that he already cried everything earlier but now, tears were escaping his eyes, his chest was heaving and tightening.

He tried his best to at least find his voice and the courage to talk again. He was carrying all this heavy luggage for so long now. All he wanted was to go on every day unbothered with the things that ran after him and made him build up the unnecessary tall walls around him. He needed to say it and Tsukishima knew that he trusts Kuroo.

“He was showering my account with money and for years I thought that spending it recklessly would make me feel better. Trying to get his revenge by spending the money felt useless. I never even felt good about it and it was annoying. It’s not— it’s not.. god, I hate myself. I want to— I just want to..”

_Say it. This is what I want, right? But why can’t I say it?_

“You want to cut ties with him completely?” Kuroo asked that made Tsukishima look up to him, his tears falling and wetting the bottom of his shirt. He could feel his lips quivering and his hands trembling as they both look at each other’s eyes.

“Yeah but— is it alright? I mean, he’s a jerk and all but he’s still—” Kuroo stood up and walked to him. He turned Tsukishima’s chair sideways with ease and crouched in between Tsukishima’s legs while holding his hands.

“I’ve never experienced this but please don’t feel bad about cutting toxic people out of your life. You deserve better, okay? He’s been hurting you for years now, and I think that if you’re ready, you could let him go. It’s alright,” Kuroo kissed his hands that were now damp with tears. Kuroo intertwined their fingers, while his thumbs were softly caressing the first knuckle of his index finger.

Instead of feeling weak like earlier, Tsukishima felt better. He could feel everything spilling on the floor. All of the suppressed tears, hundreds of sleepless nights, the anxiety attacks that make him feel like dying, the years that he spent as he acts tough in front of everyone, and god, they want and thirst to heal were overflowing now, it was washing all over him. He bawled his eyes, not replying to Kuroo because his voice seemed so far at the moment. Kuroo just stayed in his position, and occasionally rubs his cheek on the back of Tsukishima’s hands.

It was warm, so warm, even though winter was still around because Kuroo was holding him together when Tsukishima felt like crumbling down. He felt lucky despite the current mess on his face, tears smothered all over his cheeks. His eyes might probably as red as strawberries now and it would be swollen until tomorrow.

“Is it possible to run out of tears?” Tsukishima asked, conversely but his voice sounded so strained and hoarse, and just by simply talking makes his throat hurts.

Kuroo looked shocked at first but then he laughed. “Well, tears are mostly made up of H2O, so if you’re hydrated enough, you probably won’t but you should keep your lacrimal glands healthy too since it is practically where tears come from—”

“Oh my god, Tetsu, you could’ve just said water. I hate you,” Tsukishima said and laughed, lightly punching Kuroo in the face using their intertwined hands. Tsukishima still couldn’t believe how easy it is for Kuroo to just slip in his science shit knowledge in a normal conversation. Why was he together with him again?

“Glad to see you smile again,” Kuroo said after Tsukishima’s laughter winded down. Tsukishima looked down at him and was met by Kuroo’s genuine smile. “It doesn’t sit well with me whenever I see you crying,”

_Ah, there it was. The smile that hooked me up the first time._

“Deal with it. I already told that I’m quite a luggage,”

“Still doesn’t care,” Kuroo smiled and flashed his white rows of teeth and it looked so captivating through Tsukishima’s eyeglasses. He leaned in and pressed his lips on his but then lost his balance and fell forward. Kuroo wasn’t able to catch him, his legs already numb because of crouching for a long time. They both fell on the floor and Kuroo might’ve bumped his head but he didn’t care because Tsukishima was now cackling.

“My glasses, Kuroo— I can’t— oh my god — we fucking fell,” Tsukishima said in between laughs but his vision was too blurry. Both because of his fallen eyeglasses, incredible eyesight, and the remaining tears.

“Don’t move, Kei! My legs are numb and _ack!_ Stop moving!” Despite Kuroo’s pleads, Tsukishima moved his legs to move repeatedly. The man underneath him was groaning so hard and for a moment, Tsukishima forgot that he was bawling his eyes earlier that he almost had a hard time breathing.

“Okay, okay, I’m going to stop. Just find my glasses for me,” Tsukishima stilled and Kuroo quickly reached the glasses a few inches from him and carefully wore it to the person who’s almost blind without his glasses. The floor was hard beneath Kuroo but it was all forgotten when Tsukishima smiled upon seeing his face.

“Hey,” Kuroo said and brought his hand up to slide his fingers through Tsukishima’s hair.

“Hey back,”

“You’re going to overcome this, yeah?” Tsukishima wasn’t sure. He was never sure, but at that moment, he wanted to, he really wanted to and he believed that maybe, he can.

“Yeah, I would,” He answered, void of uncertainty that it almost surprised him.

“This is your fight but I’m just at the side and will definitely help whenever you need me to. I could sharpen your sword— or maybe you’d like bow and arrow as your weapon?” Tsukishima slapped Kuroo’s shoulder and sat down with a smile. Kuroo turning serious conversations into something much more flippant ones might probably one of his talents but Tsukishima knew that Kuroo meant it.

_A total dork— my dork._

“I’m going up,” He said and stood up, dusting the back of his shorts.

“I’m washing the plates?” Kuroo asked with a pout, making Tsukishima roll his eyes. Kuroo wasn’t really fond of washing the plates and the fact that he’s always tired from work makes Tsukishima wash everything the majority of the time.

“Well, I’m taking a bath and I’m hoping that you’ll be on my bed when I got out,” He said with a low voice that made Kuroo gasped and Tsukishima could almost feel how happy and excited he was so he cocked his eyebrows and said, “With! the kitchen clean and the leftover foods placed in the containers—”

“Consider it done!” Kuroo said, too energetic and Tsukishima knew that it was going to be a long night, but he knew that he doesn’t really care too.

—

Tsukishima spent days thinking. It doesn’t matter whether he’s eating, at Akaashi’s café with Terushima, watching movies with his college friends, helping Akaashi in cooking, or just cuddling with Kuroo. His brain was just continuously thinking and weighing if the things that he’s about to do was going to work and if he would not regret anything. It wasn’t easy, given that Tsukishima was terrified to do anything. This was all new to him, all the trying to run away from the things that were haunting him and trying to get back up. He was used to waking up every day, masking up his issues as best as he can, pushing people out of his life, and trying to not care about every single thing.

But now, as he looks at the sleeping man beside him, the urge to get better felt fiercer. He wanted to be the person who can also support Kuroo without worrying that he has his own issues. He wanted to be that friend who could laugh along because he really is happy. He wanted to be a little less uptight.

And so, the very next day that he made up his mind, Tsukishima told Kuroo that he was going to Miyagi and talk to his Mom. He expected him to ask if he could go with him and Kuroo did look like he wanted to ask Tsukishima but he didn’t.

“Will you be okay at night?” Kuroo asked in front of the train station. He was still dressed in his work clothes and how convenient it was that the flower shop was just across the train station.

“I will be, don’t worry. But I don’t think that you will. You’re too dependent on me when sleeping,” Tsukishima snickered, already thinking how much will he miss Kuroo’s arms around him in the night even though he’s treating him like a body pillow.

“I could hug Bo in my sleep. He would be more than glad to be with me,” Kuroo crossed his arms, making Tsukishima raise his eyebrows.

“Akaashi would kill you in your sleep,”

“I would ask nicely,” Tsukishima rolled his eyes in response when he saw the smug look on Kuroo’s face. “But kidding aside, be careful, okay? Say hi to auntie for me,” Tsukishima nodded and they both said their goodbyes.

Kuroo waved at him before he walked in further and all Tsukishima did was nod. There was a different feeling settling into him when he sat at this seat. He’s on his way to take a new step in his life and it was comforting to know that he comes back, everyone will be waiting for him.

He slept the whole ride but his nerves were suddenly filled with tension when he was in front of their house. He stayed there from he was twelve until eighteen but it just never felt like home. It felt more like a façade. A façade that his Mom bought to mask the sadness that she was feeling when they divorced. Tsukishima lightly scoffs at the memory, the three of them leaving their Dad and staying at a hotel for a week then suddenly, Asami bought the house. They tried to smile for the picture but Tsukishima knew that deep down, his Mom was hurting really bad.

He pushed the gate open and knocked at the door. Asami opened it, shock painted on her face and she smelled like various scents from making candles. Tsukishima opened his arms and Asami gladly walked closer to him and hugged him.

“Something’s wrong, right?” Asami asked, nose already getting red from the cold. She was dressed thinly and Tsukishima suddenly wanted to give her his coat but realized that it was better if they’ll just go inside.

His mother reading him easily has never been a surprise. She has always been great with that with her sons. So instead of denying it, Tsukishima gave her a small smile.

“A tea would be nice,” He said, making Asami chuckle and they proceeded to go inside where it was warmer. Tsukishima shrugged off his coat, beanie, and ear muffs then sat at the couch as Asami moves in the kitchen to ready the tea that wasn’t really necessary.

There was a long silence between them but it wasn’t uncomfortable but this doesn’t make Tsukishima calm down. He was about to drop a bomb that they never even talked about for years. He doesn’t know exactly how to ask her without bringing back the ugly memories of their past. But it wasn’t possible. They needed to remember everything first before they could let go of it and maybe, Tsukishima hopes that Asami would start to heal too.

“Hey Mom, so are you and that guy still talks?”

_Deep breaths, Kei._

There wasn’t a reply for the first couple of seconds and Tsukishima was biting the insides of his cheek to stop himself from saying that she should just forget his question. He wanted to get over it as fast as possible and not rub more salt on the wound.

“We talked last week when he sent your gift,” Asami replied, appearing in front of Tsukishima with a tray with two cups of hot tea. She placed it on the coffee table and sat beside Tsukishima. “That’s a new question coming from you though. What happened?”

“Well…” Just like what he thought, saying it out loud was harder than he imagined. But he needs to drag it out of his mouth because Asami was the only person who has his father’s personal contact number. Tsukishima knew that Asami only keeps in touch with that man because of him. Because of the monthly allowance that he gives to Tsukishima for the past years for high school and college. The guilt was slowly eating him in his sit and it was agonizing.

“Did you saw him? Ugh— I told him to not show himself to either of you two,” Asami snarled and it was actually entertaining to see her face contorted because of being pissed off but it wasn’t at that point. It might’ve been funny when Akiteru’s teases to their Mom were the reason why was she pissed.

“I didn’t and..” Tsukishima sucked in a deep, deep breath. “I would like to never see him again. Ever,” He was almost whispering but judging by how Asami’s expression changed, she seemed to hear him.

“Enlighten me more, would you? It was.. I don’t know, Uhm, quite vague, I guess?”

“I want to cut off any ties with him. I want him to stop sending me money, letters, I want him to stop wishing my happy birthday when it's months late. I want him completely out of my life, Mom,”

_Shit. Shit. I said it._

The words were heavy on his tongue like lead but god, he felt like his heart finally worked in its full capacity, free of the words that have been sitting on his mind for days. He should’ve done this a long time ago like Akiteru. Now, his brother was living his simple life, happy and for sure, the wound that was left by their father was now almost okay.

“Are you sure, Kei?” Her voice was soft and it lingered in Tsukishima’s mind. He envisioned this certain moment in his head days ago and those days of nonstop thinking only leads to one answer,

“Yes, I’m sure,” He breathed out, and god, it felt nice.

“Okay, but— come here, let me hug you,” Asami motioned him to get close to her which Tsukishima complied. “I’m proud of you,” She whispered and Tsukishima was proud of himself too. It was something that his old self would never do. Did he just go through a character development without even noticing it?

Being held by his Mom was just as comfortable as being hugged by Kuroo. There was a different satisfaction that Tsukishima just wants to sigh and not let go. It’s warm and gentle and Tsukishima never felt so safe in his life.

“Hey, Mom?” Tsukishima bit his lip and hugged her a little tighter. Asami deserves to know everything, well, maybe not everything, but still. Tsukishima wanted to say it to her and he thinks that this is the perfect moment to tell her that. Months of hiding, not really hiding, but just not saying anything about it was enough. Tsukishima had faith in her Mom that she will never flip out because she never did with her oldest son and that made things easier for Tsukishima.

“I’m together with Kuroo,” Asami quickly pulled out from the comfortable hug and covered her mouth with both of her hands, her eyes doubling in size.

“Oh my god!” She shouted that made Tsukishima flinch. She was suddenly bouncing in her seat and given that they were both sitting on the same couch, Tsukishima was almost bouncing too because of her force.

“Mom, you’re overreacting,” He said and Asami quickly stopped and rearranged her quite disheveled hair.

“Oh, was I? Well, I already kind of know that for months now but I thought that I might give you the reaction that you were expecting,” Tsukishima didn’t know what to answer, _really_. She just knows how to surprise people and do things when you weren’t really expecting it. No wonder she and Kuroo got along just fine.

“You’re unbelievable,”

“I know!” She perked up. “So, when did it happen? How did you two meet?” Tsukishima shifted uncomfortably in his seat. It’s not like his past actions were something to be proud of. It was not safe and not really the best choice to relieve stress. But hey, he met Kuroo. “Okay, don’t answer the how you two met, I already know,”

Tsukishima choked on his own spit and coughed real hard. He couldn’t mind the itch in his throat but rather, his mind was focused on the embarrassment.

“How?!”

“Keiji and Yuuji told me. You two met in a bar, right? Unless those two were just playing with me,” Tsukishima couldn’t believe it. His friends snitched on him and he could actually envision the three of them huddled in a corner, whispering to each other. He kept in mind to kick those two when he comes back.

“And?”

Asami’s eyebrows rose. “And? Is there something else?” Tsukishima studied her for a second and when he felt that Asami doesn’t know anything further than meeting at Indigo, he let out an exasperated sigh. He was sure that he would just kill himself if his Mom learned about his one-night stand in the past.

“No, no, no,” He said while shaking his head. Asami looked at him suspiciously but she just pounced on him and hugged him again.

“It’s good that you’re happy and worry not over your shit of a father, I’ll handle him. Just continue to be happy,”

“Yeah—” Asami started to pepper his head with some kisses, making her youngest son giggle. Tsukishima was contented and he wanted to tell this to his twelve-year-old self.

—

**_To: Kuroo Tetsurou ♡_ **

**_11:06 am_ **

_Be home in 10 mins_

**_From: Kuroo Tetsurou ♡_ **

**_11:06 am_ **

_Already here in ur house_

_Can’t wait to see you_

**_To: Kuroo Tetsurou ♡_ **

**_11:06 am_ **

_You just saw me earlier_

**_From: Kuroo Tetsurou ♡_ **

**_11:07 am_ **

_That was thru video call. Nothing beats seeing you in person_

**_To: Kuroo Tetsurou ♡_ **

**_11:07 am_ **

_Same here_

—

When Tsukishima opened the door, Kuroo was on the floor while Terushima was comfortably lying on the couch. They were both watching an action movie but paused it as soon as they heard Tsukishima’s arrival.

“Tsukki!” Terushima yelled while Kuroo quickly ran into him and hugged Tsukishima tightly. He whispered how much he missed him and Tsukishima gladly listened to it while hugging back but threw a death glare at Terushima. He still hasn’t forgotten how he and Akaashi told his Mom that Kuroo and he met in a bar when Asami doesn’t even know that he goes to a bar in the first place.

“What?” Terushima asked when he finally saw how deadly Tsukishima’s glare was. Still hugging Kuroo, Tsukishima mouthed the words ‘I’ll kill you later’ to Terushima. Knowing how painful Tsukishima’s strangles are, Terushima quickly ran up to his room without wasting any second. Tsukishima rolled his eyes and loosened his arms around Kuroo.

“How are you?” The older man asked when they were both seated on the couch.

“Okay, I guess. Oh, and Mom said hi too,” It was true, but it wasn’t entirely true since it wasn’t even half of what Asami originally said. Vigorously, before Tsukishima went out of their house, Asami told him to,

_“Tell Kuroo-kun hi too and he could also call me mom from now on! Tell him that I’ll tell him my secret to make the best lemon meringue pie if he’ll continue to make you happy and if he doesn’t, I’ll turn him into a burger patty instead! And please tell him to come with you next time you visit,”_

It wasn’t the nicest thing to say Tsukishima tried to rephrase it into something much easier to register. “I think that she was saying things about lemon meringue pie and she wants you to come with me next time,” 

“Did you— oh, does she already know about..” Kuroo pointed out the two of them with wide eyes. Even without telling Tsukishima, he knew that Kuroo was nervous about saying their current relationship to Asami. Sure, they’re already close but of course, she’s still Kei’s mother and with that, a line should not be overstepped.

“Yes, I finally told her and she’s happy for us,” He saw Kuroo smile before nuzzling his head on the crook of Tsukishima’s neck. He felt the familiar breathing pattern of Kuroo whenever he’s relieved and Tsukishima was happy that at least, he was able to remove a certain weight off of Kuroo’s worries.

“That's.. that's good,”

“I know,”

“And I have something for you,” Kuroo was smiling, totally not rare, but it was the aura of being excited. Well, he’s always excited and it’s one of the things that Tsukishima could never not be happy about. He gets excited over the little things, Tsukishima agreeing to help him shave the stubble along his jaw and chin, whenever a customer tells him how do they want their customized bouquet to look like, new action movie, new fresh linens, and pillowcases, or even thinking about to paint on rocks next Sunday with Bokuto.

“Why?” He asked but Kuroo just smiled wider and stood up. Tsukishima followed him, still confused when he realized that they’re going to the garden. The garden wasn’t big but it was spacious enough to call it a decent garden. The plants were alive, still going strong since Tsukishima’s effort to take care of them was constant.

He knew every plant by heart so when he saw a certain plant on a bright colored pot like it was demanding for all the attention that it could hog, Tsukishima’s eyebrows furrowed. It’s new, and there are pretty red fruits hanging from its small stems.

“Are those...” Tsukishima trailed off as they walk towards the attention seeker plant. The closer they got, the more Tsukishima salivates.

_Strawberries. Strawberries. Strawberries._

“Remember that night when I first saw you have a panic attack?” Kuroo started, making Tsukishima nod. There’s no way that he could forget that. That night was awful yet other things happened. He could still vividly remember how Kuroo looked like when he captured the photo, shocked, and until now, Tsukishima still finds it cute whenever he’s looking at it. Kuroo never saw it though and Tsukishima intends to keep it that way.

“You asked me if it's possible to keep a strawberry from rotting. I didn’t actually think that you’re talking about strawberries and I didn’t really know you that well back then,” It was true and Tsukishima could only smile faintly. They’ve come a long way but everything still feels like it just happened yesterday.

“So, I tried to plant one, just like what I said to you that night. It was sort of a trial and error process,” Kuroo chuckled, ruffling his hair with a shy smile. “I planted five but that’s the only one that lives. I wanted to surprise you when it finally starts to bear fruits and.. yeah, here we are— wait, why the heck are you crying, Kei?” Kuroo quickly cupped Tsukishima’s face, wiping the tears using his thumbs. “Do you not like it? I mean, I know its weird but I can take it out, you don’t need to cry, baby,”

“Don’t you dare,” The blonde said as he was trying his best to stop himself from crying but the feeling of being overwhelmed was flooding his chest. Seeing a strawberry plant in his garden was one thing, but Kuroo planting it for him? Just because of a single question that he asked months ago? Tsukishima could kiss him right now and he would definitely mind if his neighbors would see them making out on the grass.

“Then why are you.. are you crying because you like it?”

“I do. I do like it so much. _I love you, Tetsurou,_ ” He said the words like it was the easiest thing to say, and yes, it was, for Tsukishima. He already knew that he loves him before Kuroo even confessed to him but now, he was sure. He was more than sure that he loves Kuroo. It feels as though he was floating slowly on pink skies, totally relaxed but wanting to cry at the same time. He just loves him so much and everything that Kuroo was doing for him was making him feel like jelly. It was melting him and sometimes, Tsukishima needs to pinch himself out of nowhere just to make sure that he wasn’t dreaming. That all of the what's happening is real, that Kuroo’s with him.

“I love you more, Tsukki,” Kuroo leaned in and kissed Tsukishima. The tears tasted salty but Tsukishima’s lips were sweet. The blonde held Kuroo’s cheeks while Kuroo placed his hands on his hips. It only took Kuroo a few seconds when he finally slipped his thumb inside Tsukishima’s sweater, softly grazing on his skin, on his tattoo placed right on top of his hipbone. “Are my marks gone?”

“Not really gone, but they faded away,” Tsukishima answered and shivered when Kuroo slightly pushed his sweater up to look at his right hip, and there it was, Tsukishima’s first tattoo, a bright but small chrysanthemum.

Everything felt so fast that day when Tsukishima decided that he want one too. He asked Yaku to sketch him a beautiful yellow chrysanthemum. They went back to the tattoo shop after a week and maybe Tsukishima cried a little because of the pain. But it was all worth it when he saw the outcome. Ever since he got the tattoo, Kuroo would always touch it softly every time that they’re alone.

Tsukishima didn’t know how did it start but Kuroo has been leaving a couple of hickeys around his tattoo, all placed carefully to form a heart around it for two weeks already. It was a joke at first but Kuroo seemed to be having fun. He was looking at Tsukishima’s tattoo more often and he’s always placing his wrist beside Tsukishima’s hip to look at their tattoos together. He always looked fascinated every time and it was a sight that Tsukishima would always want to see.

“We could deal with that later but first, as you may,” Kuroo pointed at the strawberries that were ready to be picked. Tsukishima wiped his tears and crouched to almost facing the plant. The luscious reds were too beautiful for Tsukishima and he almost felt the tiny sparkles in his chest when he started to pick out the strawberries like he just touched happiness.

He almost sprinted to go inside to the kitchen to wash the four bright red fruits. He saw Kuroo walking towards him with his hands on his pockets as he watched the blonde washing the strawberries. As soon as Kuroo reached the kitchen, Tsukishima asked him to open his hand and gave him his share.

“You get two, I get two,” Tsukishima said with a grin before sitting down on the couch, leaving Kuroo smiling as he stares at the small fruits in his hand. Their ratio between strawberries has always been unfair, 3:1, but Kuroo never thought that it was something to be mad of. His boyfriend has always been in love with strawberries. But now, looking at the strawberries on his hands, Kuroo thinks, _he loves me just as much._

—

Tsukishima was fidgeting, his knees couldn’t stop from bouncing and anxiety was eating him up. There’s nothing wrong with it. He’s just going to talk about it and share his thoughts. He already practiced everything that he’s about to say with Yamaguchi, who wasn’t much of a help because he just kept on crying and telling him that he’s having some mixed emotions. He groaned loudly, stressed.

_It’s not like I’m kicking them out._

He has been thinking about it for days now and his brain has been hurting uncontrollably now from thinking for god, was it almost a month already after his talk with his Mom?

“That’s some deep thinking you got there, Tsukki,” Tsukishima visibly flinched when he heard Terushima’s voice. He sat beside him on the couch, while eating grapes. “You want?” Tsukishima shook his head. He’s feeling too nauseous to eat something right now. “What’s with you?”

“Uh…” Terushima poked his cheeks repeatedly while eyeing him. Tsukishima gathered his courage and faced him. “Can we talk?” The change in Terushima’s expression was drastic. It hasn’t even started yet but Tsukishima was already feeling guilty just by thinking about that. It could’ve been easier if he just waited for Akaashi so he could talk to the both of them and just get over it.

“I’m sorry!” Terushima suddenly yelled, his hands clasped and eyes shut. Tsukishima looked at him weirdly because of the sudden apology. “I don’t know how you found out but I promise, I’ve been trying to tell you but I’m always chickening out!” Tsukishima’s eyebrows were too furrowed that it was almost hurting. He was getting more confused as words come out of Terushima’s mouth.

“What?” Terushima’s eyes shut open. There was a splash of confusedness on his face as well.

“What what?”

“What are you saying? Why are you saying sorry?”

“You mean you don’t know?!” 

“Well, I don’t think I do!” Terushima huffed while running his hands through his newly colored hair. He looked frustrated, and seriously, both of the blondes are but when their eyes met each other’s, they erupted in laughter. Terushima was slapping Tsukishima’s shoulder, their noses crinkling, and heads tipping back because of their tittering.

“You’re not saying something to me,” Tsukishima said when they finally became quiet, head just leaning on the backrest of the couch, eyes both on the blank television. He was thankful that at least, his nervousness was lessened because of laughing.

“You’re not saying something to me too,” Tsukishima looked at him. “I can feel it, and Keiji too, and probably Yamaguchi too even though he’s away,” Was he that obvious?

“You say yours first, I’ll tell mine after you,” He needed the time to get ready and choose the right words. He didn’t want Terushima to feel like he’s shutting him out too. He’s been through much already, and Tsukishima doesn’t want to make his friends feel like shit because of him, heck, even for Kageyama and his tangerine of a boyfriend.

“Promise, you’re not going to lash out on me?”

“Depends,”

“Kei,”

“Okay, I won’t,” There was a beat of silence then Tsukishima heard him sigh deeply.

“I’m planning to move out,” Suddenly, Tsukishima’s heart was hammering so fast. “I— I feel like I need to start again. To start the right way and just do what I really want to do. Ever since Yamaguchi left, it got me thinking. I’m older than him you know? But he’s been standing alone now just fine. I’m not saying that Yamaguchi’s greater than you, okay? I don’t want to leave you too but I just feel like I need to do this for myself too,”

“I’m just about to tell you that I’m thinking of selling this house,” Tsukishima said, making Terushima look at him quickly. “I just don’t want to leave any trace of my father in my life,”

“Wha— I— oh, that’s going to be good news for Akaashi,” Akaashi? Why was Akaashi suddenly in their conversation? “He told me that Bokuto asked him to move in with him,” To say that Tsukishima was happy for Akaashi was an understatement. Bokuto asking him to move in with Akaashi is an indication that he’s truly serious with him. They’ve been together for almost a year now and Tsukishima could really see that Akaashi was happy but there was still something that was stopping him.

“Hey, where are you—”

“I’m going to talk to Keiji,” Tsukishima grabbed his car keys and quickly drove towards the café. There was a continuous low thrum in his whole body and Tsukishima felt like he’s getting jittery all of a sudden. He was acting on a whim again but he knew well that he’ll get crazy if he’s not going to talk to Akaashi right now.

“Where’s Akaashi?” The girl on the counter looked like a new hire, and she looked scared. She reminded him of Yachi when they first saw her. He almost chuckled at the memory but he needed to see Akaashi first and the girl in front of him doesn’t seem to know that he’s her boss’ friend. “Your boss, Akaashi Keiji. I’m his friend, can you call him for me?”

“Y-yes!” Oh, very much like Yachi, really.

It was just a minute when he saw Akaashi come out from the staffs’ room. His eyes light up upon seeing Tsukishima and he was feeling happy seeing him too.

“Why are you here, Baby Dino?” Akaashi asked him and the girl’s eyes widened for a fleeting moment. “Oh, don’t worry, he’s just my friend. I’m too loyal for Bokuto-san,” The girl furiously nodded that it made Akaashi chuckle.

“Can I talk to you? Like I don’t know, for ten or fifteen minutes?” Tsukishima wished that the urgency in his voice was delivered just like how he wanted. Akaashi just nodded at him and proceeded to remove his apron.

“Is it a topic that’s appropriate here or...?”

“We could sit there in the park,” Akaashi told his second in command to take charge first for a few minutes before they climbed in Tsukishima’s car. They were both fastening their seatbelts when Akaashi talked.

“You’re scaring me, Kei. Is there a problem?” Akaashi sounded scared and it was the last thing that Tsukishima wants. He wanted Keiji to be happy.

“Bokuto-san wanted you to move in with him,” Tsukishima whipped his head to the side and saw Akaashi looking horrified. He didn’t get it. Akaashi should’ve been happy after hearing Bokuto’s proposal, but he was sure that there was something that was stopping him. Tsukishima wasn’t naïve and clueless, he clearly knew why did Akaashi never told him that.

“I already told Bokuto-san that I’m still not ready,” Akaashi was looking down while playing with his fingers. Tsukishima could’ve been delighted to hear those words if things were still the same. But now, Tsukishima was trying to become better and Akaashi looked happier with Bokuto by his side.

“Are you really?” Tsukishima was never a fan of making assumptions but this time, he knew that he was right with his hunch. Akaashi was staying behind because he doesn’t want to leave Tsukishima. That sounded like what Akaashi would do for his friends.

“Yes, I am,” His voice was firm but Tsukishima could see him falling apart. He hated himself for being selfish for all those years, drilling the point that he didn’t want to be left out to the mind of his friends and leaving them no choice but to stay. It felt right years ago but now, Tsukishima finally realizes how awful it was. He wanted to make it right. Not just for them, but also for himself.

“Terushima’s leaving, you could too,”

“No, I don’t want to leave you,” The words came out of Akaashi in just a millisecond. Tsukishima doesn’t want this. He wants Akaashi to move on too like the others. Hinata and Kageyama were still together and are working just fine, Terushima was ready to start over, Yachi was slowly getting stable in her life, and Yamaguchi just got promoted. They were already fine on their own and Tsukishima would be too.

“I’m okay, Keiji. I just want you to be happy. I could literally see your eyes sparkling when you’re with Bokuto-san,” Tsukishima said with a soft and reassuring tone that made Akaashi cry. “You’re not leaving me. We’re just not going to live together anymore but we’re still a family,”

“Leaving you doesn’t feel right,”

“But letting you stay doesn’t feel right either,” Tsukishima unbuckled his seatbelt and reached out to hold Akaashi’s hands. “I’m planning to sell the house too.” Just like Terushima’s reaction, Akaashi’s mouth went agape, eyes doubling in size, shocked to the core.

“I need to do it for myself too, and for all of us. We need to start moving forward, Keiji. I don’t want to stop you all from doing what you want just because of my issues,”

“Oh, babe, you’re making me tear up more,” Akaashi held Tsukishima’s hands too and shifted on his seat to face him completely. “Are you sure, Kei?” For a second, Tsukishima thought that he was talking to his Mom. She asked him the exact question too and just like what he answered last time,

_“Yes,”_ He said with a verdict that automatically sent a smile to Akaashi’s lips.

—

Tsukishima just finished talking to his Mom through call. Apparently, there was already someone who was interested in the house and they said that they’re willing to pay a little more if needed. Tsukishima asked Asami to help him with selling the house, and Asami being the person who has too many friends and connections, was able to help him just right.

Akaashi moved out already and is now currently living with Bokuto and Kuroo. Tsukishima could just imagine how noisy that how is going to be. Terushima started packing his things and was always out with Akiteru to choose his soon-to-be apartment. They all had a simple yet loud dinner at an izakaya to celebrate a lot of things. Even the things that weren’t really worth celebrating for, like Hinata, finally being able to do a handstand, Yachi finally being able to paint her nails alone without any mess, Kageyama finally being able to smile without looking creepy and even Bokuto’s newly bought rocks to paint on to.

Tsukishima also closed his bank account too after withdrawing everything and donating it to an orphanage. He couldn’t let go of his car yet. It was one of his most prized possessions so he just decided that he’ll just sell it next time when he could buy another one. What’s important was that he was getting closer to what he’s aiming for. It was a process, a long one, and Tsukishima was ready for it.

“Someone’s interested?” Kuroo asked and hugged him tighter. Tsukishima nodded at him and put his phone down. It was a Wednesday night and Kuroo was planning to spend the night in Tsukishima’s room. “I feel like you should go with Terushima sometimes so you could see some available apartments,”

Tsukishima doesn’t want to. What he wants to go around the different parts of the city with Kuroo in search of a nice apartment. He wanted Kuroo to be the one to point out what’s the best apartment so far as they sit on a bench in front of a convenience store, both tired from all the walking. He wanted Kuroo to help him unpack _their_ things—

“Hey, why?” Tsukishima pursed his lips, shocked with what he’s thinking. Was that thought always there? Has he always been looking forward to unpacking _their_ things?

His heart was beating loudly, his mouth itching to say something. He was staring at Kuroo whose eyes were questioning. Was it worth asking? Was it alright, knowing that they’ve just been together for months?

“Do you…” He could feel his lips quivering slightly. Tsukishima knew exactly what he wants to say. He wants to ask him if Kuroo would want to move in with him, sleep and wake up beside each other, live together, and quarrel about who will clean the house. He gripped his fingers hard and swallowed the lump in his throat. “Do you want some strawberry cake?”

Tsukishima stood up, a little too quickly than usual. There was an unsettling feeling inside him. Not asking and letting the chance slip away was a wrong move. For years, Tsukishima was aware that he’s the type of person who couldn’t stay still unless he asks his desired question.

“So, I’ve been thinking,” Kuroo said while Tsukishima was cutting two slices of cake for them. He placed it on a plate and grabbed a fork. He paced back to the living room where Kuroo was comfortably sitting at the couch. “I think that I want to go back and try University again,”

Tsukishima was taken aback, sure, but seeing how Kuroo’s face light up upon saying that just made him feel fuzzy all over. Kuroo looked like he was looking forward to it and Tsukishima doesn’t want to do anything else but to support him.

“That’s nice, Tetsu,” Tsukishima said after swallowing a chunk of icing with bits of strawberries. “When though?” He cut a small piece of cake and feed Kuroo who looked like he was already daydreaming about the thought of going back to the university. Tsukishima clearly knows how important was this for Kuroo. It’s been his dream ever since, to be that popular and well-respected pastry chef in Tokyo, and well, if things would be better than he expected, in the whole of Japan too.

Kuroo might be masking it real good, but Tsukishima was sure that he was sad despite his smiles at the flower shop. He wasn’t originally supposed to be there, he was supposed to be in a kitchen with gigantic ovens and sacks of flour and sugar, kneading and designing pretty desserts that people would surely love. His smiles weren’t fake, Tsukishima was sure, but he’d give everything just to see the smile on Kuroo’s face whenever he’s baking every day.

“This semester, I think. I’d graduate and be the best fucking chef out there so those bastards would shut the hell up,” Tsukishima’s eyebrow arched and his hands stopped moving his fork, eyes just staring intensely at Kuroo.

“Bastards who?”

“Oh, just some guys that I became classmates with when I was in college for two years,” Kuroo definitely answered him but it was still vague. Was there someone who was hurting Kuroo? Tsukishima thoroughly knows that Kuroo is strong and is capable of defending himself just fine but there was still something that makes Tsukishima sit on the edge of the chair when he hears something like this. It was the want to protect him when Tsukishima knows that it has always been the other way around.

“Hmm...”

“Okay, come here,” Kuroo said and Tsukishima hesitantly obeyed. He pressed his back against Kuroo’s chest and felt the familiar weight of his arms around him. “The day that we first met, they planned a kind of formal get together, and included me even though they know that I stopped midway. They asked, and halfway to the dinner, I figured that they just invited me to ask me whats my work is now. I proudly said about Oikawa’s flower shop, but they laughed. I was offended, of course,” Tsukishima wanted to kick them in their balls and wring their necks with stems of roses and tell them that that flower shop was something precious and that working there wasn’t easy. He saw how hard Kuroo and his other friends work just to satisfy their customers. It was not just a job, it was passion and hard work and they do not have the right to laugh at it.

“Stop frowning, Kei. It’s done and if not for their obnoxious laughs, I’ll never meet you. I’ll never walk into that club to drink because I was stressed as fuck. I didn’t even get drunk but I got myself a pretty strawberry loving snarky salty blonde,” Kuroo hugged him a little tighter, making Tsukishima yelp. He didn’t really know if he was supposed to be sad that Kuroo stopped his studies and got mocked by his former classmates when all of it resulted in the two of them meeting. But what if Tsukishima won that discussion over Terushima and Akaashi that day and he just decided to work on his research paper? Would things end up the way it's happening right now? Would he even meet Kuroo? Be his boyfriend and got almost matching tattoos? Would he even realize a lot of things that Kuroo made him?

“Still don’t like them. But you do know that I’m going to support you, right?” He asked, tipping his head back to rest it on Kuroo’s shoulder. He felt Kuroo nod and then started to plant light kisses on his neck and jaw. “But what about your job?” There was silence and suddenly, Tsukishima felt sad at the thought of not being able to come to the flower shop whenever he wants. He could still come but it wouldn’t be the same.

“I would probably quit. Oikawa would understand, I’m sure,” Kuroo’s voice was gloomy and it was affecting him too. Tsukishima feared that Kuroo wouldn’t smell like flowers anymore, that he would not see Kuroo again making extravagant bouquets with a smile. Sure, it would rest his hands from splinters but Tsukishima just felt sad.

“I’ll miss the flower shop—“

“Wait, shit, Kei. Listen to me, how about you try to take over my work?” Tsukishima moved forward and Kuroo automatically removed his grasp at him. He looked at Kuroo, nose scrunching, and totally bewildered with the sudden idea. “You can apply there and I’m quite sure that Oikawa would hire you,”

“You do realize that I’m not creative, right?”

“I could teach you things, Tsukki!” Kuroo said with a lot of enthusiasm and really, it was slowly getting into Tsukishima’s brain too. Working in the flower shop? Being surrounded by flowers and with the people that he’s already comfortable with?

_Shit. Sounds great._

“I mean, let’s see,” He said while trying to suppress a small smile at the thought. What Kuroo said lingered in his head until it was late at night.

Tsukishima slipped off of Kuroo’s hug and sat down to open his laptop. He was contemplating at first and stared at the blank page for minutes before his hands started to move. Tsukishima has made countless fake resumes for his high school assignments but this was the first time that he was actually doing one, a real one. The idea didn’t sound bad and Tsukishima would be glad to take a risk.

He filled in the details and as he typed in the letters, he felt fulfilled too. Tsukishima was getting overwhelmed once again, but he tried his best not to cry. All of the things that were happening were good things and there’s nothing to cry about. Even the fact that he wasn’t able to ask Kuroo about moving in with him felt like a good thing, and maybe it really is, for the time being. They’re starting their lives and Tsukishima felt like even if it was okay to run at a full speed, certain pauses along the whole ride were necessary too. Maybe when Kuroo graduates and Tsukishima was satisfied with his work, he could try to ask him again. They don’t need to rush things, after all.

His phone suddenly vibrated, the notification panel showing that he just received a message. Tsukishima reached for it and opened a certain message. It was Asami, asking for some help with her growing business because apparently, she added a twist on her candles for the month. The emoji at the end of the message was something that a woman her age wouldn’t use too but this just made Tsukishima smile.

Beside him, Kuroo groaned and opened an eye, dazzled by the artificial light coming from the laptop and phone. He propped an elbow and Tsukishima muttered a sorry, feeling bad that he disturbed Kuroo’s sleep.

“What are you doing, hm?” Kuroo asked, his thumb working on Tsukishima’s tattoo. The blonde closed his laptop and placed it at his bedside table along with his phone.

“A resume,” He shyly said. There’s no point in lying when it wasn’t something worth lying for and Kuroo probably saw a glimpse of it earlier before he closed his laptop.

“That’s good, I’m happy,” Kuroo’s voice was groggy yet soft, and until now, it’s still a mystery for Tsukishima how could that happen all together and how it never fails to make his stomach do somersaults. Tsukishima smiled, feeling good about the fact that he’s about to spend his second spring with Kuroo.

“Hey, do you want to go with me tomorrow and make candles to help Mom?”

“Yes, Kei,” Kuroo kissed his hip. “I’d like to do that,”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Midnight Ventures has now ended! I want to thank all of you who became my support system since the first chapter, the bunch who were patient enough to wait for my inconsistent weekly updates, and of course to the future readers! All the kudos, comments, and bookmarks are highly appreciated and it makes me really reallyyyy happy, I swear.  
> 
> 
> Thank you for joining me to finish this fic and yes, yes, I would be making this into a series bcs Tsukki's friends deserve their own story too.
> 
> Thank you and I love you all! Always stay safe σ(≧ε≦σ) ♡


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